Medicine collectively calls them “Disorders of Sex Development”, a term which pathologises us as having individual disorders that can be fixed. Very many of us are made to physically conform to sex and gender norms.These expectations to become “real men” or “real women” are also what make us part of the rainbow LGBTI family.
Intersex people come in all shapes and sizes, and identities. Gay, queer, and straight, mothers of adopted or natural kids, guys with facial hair, and naturally androgynous people. A minority change gender, but most will have had medical intervention to confirm a sex — and this is often something that we have had no choice about. It doesn’t make us trans*.
Just like there are trans men and trans women, and gay men and even gay women, there are intersex men and intersex women. There are also intersex people who identify as male and female, and others who reject gender categories. Any of those are the right way for an intersex person to identify. Conceiving of intersex as a homogeneous third identity ignores most of us. It ignores what binds us together.