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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in WORLD...
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To my Nigerian Brothers snd Sisters:

This is a forum to tell our stories to the world. Instead of poignant posts, you add the typical, and well known, "Nigerian Scams" to this special forum.

Shame on you! Shame on all who posted messages on this forum in an attempt to elicit money through illegitimate means.

SHAME ON YOU!!!

And know that we now have the technological means of tracing you back to the computer terminal you used when posting. Yes, we have found Government officials in Nigeria, those willing to cooperate with our group.

Who are we? We are an International Group dedicated to stopping Internet Traffic that violates the Sun/Trent/Obama/Putin Internet Accords of 2012. This was a joint accord signed by Leaders of China, Europe, the Americas, and Russia. Its goal is to stop Internet Scams, Email Flooding, and intentional disruption of websites.

In situations such as Scamming, we are working with local Internet Providers, setting up cameras in their cafes so the Scammers can be identified, and then when known, they are followed so other members of their gang can be identified.

The team has been successful - it recently identified, and then apprehended, an eight member gang working in Idogwari, a town just outside the Nigerian capital of Abuja.
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Anton Dmytriiev (user currently living in UKRAINE) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers to the UKRAINE country page on 09/03/2014 tagged with at the work place, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions
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Hypocrisy of brands

Globalization now is everywhere, so you can find your native goods or services almost in every corner of the world.

We’ll talk about Ukraine. This country now is a trend in world news and politicians speeches, but it’s still a very homophobic and backward country as for human rights.

Ukraine and its citizens can’t now live in test-tube, box or fortress – future is around us.

The people should think over their stereotypes, be more patient with LGBT issues in Ukraine and stop hate gays and their community.

World now enjoys the human rights defence activitites in dozens of countires, except Russia, Ukraine and some others. The processes of support individual freedom are vast and influence all spheres of life, including business.

Many of American and well-known companies openly encourage LGBT community, welcome gay marriages and build a tolerant ommunications with everyone.

But in Ukraine the “daughters” of that businesses are not so opened and cheerful, as in US and Europe. Sometimes, the same companies here, in Kyiv, have quite contrary views and politics about LGBTI issues.

We’re not going to boycott services and goods, provided by the compaines, listed below. But it would be curious and useful to hear their positions on the rights of Ukrainian LGBT, cause now they are silent and continue the line of restraint against gay community.

It’s abnormally and doubly – support the same men and women in US and EU, but be opposite and silent in Ukraine, especially, when this country fights for the future and human dignity.

Hope, soon we’ll hear and see concrete and direct position about LGBT rights from the Ukrainian branches of companies, listed below. The thing is that big business now is probably the one and unique engine of progress and reforms in medieval and tired from Soviet heritage Ukraine.

1. Ernst&Young;
2. Microsoft
3.
4. IBM
5. PwC
6. Adobe Systems
7. Facebook
8. Ford
9. Gap Inc.
10. Oreo
11. Apple Inc.
12. Google
13. PepsiCo
14. Procter&Gamble;
15. Groupon
16. Hewlett-Packard
17. Budweiser
18. Kraft Foods
19. The Walt Disney Company
20. McDonald's
21. Xerox
22. eBay
23. Nike and many others, which are not so familiar to Ukrainian consumers.

So, be opened and honest with your clients – say loudly about your vision, mission and values.
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we are facing alot of challeges here in Uganda now that the anti homosextuality was passed the people in the communities we leave are using it to harrass us more recently the day Museveni enacted the bill into law one of our own was killed through mob justice in a kampala surburb we appeal to the international community of the LGBT to give a helping and support the gay community in Uganda
many people would think leaving the country is a good option but i beleive in freedom in my our land
reach me by telephone +256754892440 or by email ssentongoherbert@gmail.com
together we will win
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farie (user currently living in MALAWI) posted for lesbian readers to the MALAWI country page on 19/02/2014 tagged with at the work place, teaching lgbt rights in schools
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chased out of school because am a lesbian
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Hi - I wanted to leave you with a mostly positive story, which is nevertheless laced with frustration. I socialised within the gay community from 1886 to 1995, in the UK. The reason was so that I could cope at the time with my 'gender dysphoria' (as it was called) - this led to my full gender change. Later, I effectively moved, though not deliberately, more into the 'straight world' but as a post-op transsexual (M to F). I have managed to work professionally since 1996 in a well-respected role, without anyone knowing. I have not 'come out' - even though I have been in two 'lesbian' relationships during that time. I wanted to state this now because it proves that transgendered people can work well in society. However, the frustration has been that coming out would have ended my career - of that I have no doubt. The number of people who openly castigate gay people and transgendered in particular, to my face, without the slightest idea about me is remarkable. If there is a joke in any of this it is on them - but of course, it's not funny. In my role, I do the best I can to educate people - but it has to be subtle, with small moves... My gay and transgender experiences have been wonderful and I would never go back on them - but it has been a long and hard road. I found I needed to be very resilient. Thanks for reading this.
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Jack (user currently living in LEBANON) posted for gay readers to the LEBANON country page on 07/02/2014 tagged with at the work place
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As soon as someone is more than 30 years old and has been working and has good diplomas. In case he/she wants to move to another company the new company might ask why he/she is still not married, this question comes during the meeting with the Human Resources. (That is why we are so called third-World country).
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Mr Herry Mark (user currently living in GEORGIA) posted for intersex readers to the UGANDA country page in response to this story on 06/02/2014 tagged with at the work place
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Do you need a loan to pay bills or start your own business, you may qualify for a loan now and contact
us by e-mail: credit01@blumail.org

Loan Application

Name:
address:
Tel:
Age:
Occupation:
Country:
Amount of loan needed:
The duration of the loan:
Purpose of loan:

Mr Herry Mark
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Gayan (user currently living in SRI LANKA) posted for lesbian bisexual intersex straight readers to the SRI LANKA country page on 03/02/2014 tagged with tourism, intersex, at the work place, health, sexual orientation +5
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Sensual Body Massage for Ladies

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It’s a series of therapies thru sensual touch with high quality satisfaction and privacy offering only for Ladies. This is a fully tailor made service which includes unique range of massages for your own comfort and rejuvenation. My Sensual massage will motivate your whole body, mind and spirit with rewarding great pleasure and leisure.

This is a delightful, safe, discreet VIP service with trusted assurance purely designs for Ladies.

If you wish to feel the difference and if you willing to enjoy most reliable and confidential body massage at your door step, please contact me taprobanebody@yahoo.com or CALL / SMS +94758077222
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(user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers to the PHILIPPINES country page on 23/01/2014 tagged with at the work place
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Im a teacher. At a popular university in the philippines, Elementary teacher to be exact... My superiors/coordinators are being unfair and unruly. They would ALWAYS find faults in everything i do. They would treat me as if i cant do anything right, they would exchange glances whenever i'll by, as of im carrying a disease. Now they would FIRE me because i have a girlfriend.
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Adeola (user currently living in NIGERIA) posted for gay readers to the NIGERIA country page on 15/01/2014 tagged with at the work place, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation, religion, marriage / civil unions +10
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I think Nigeria as a country needs some education, Needs to understand .Freedom to expression
.Freedom to life
.Freedom to choose
and above all Nigeria needs to understand that there is more than Muslim and Christian as a religion, so if I decide to worship Hindu as a religion there will be a bill passed that will jail me for practicing what I wish...Wake up Nigeria
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Ms T (user currently living in HONG KONG) posted for lesbian readers to the HONG KONG country page on 12/01/2014 tagged with at the work place +9
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How can anyone assume that because I am a lesbian, I will want to abuse young girls? This is a common thing in schools. My school has a number of lesbian and gay teachers and administration staff, but we cannot be free to express ourselves or discuss our lifestyle choices. It is taboo to be gay and work with children, no matter how illogical or unfair this is, it is accepted. So we have to hide our true selves for fear of parental and management backlash. No one assumes that straight teachers want to abuse the kids in their care, but say you are gay and get ready to to find a new job.
Loving caring people are living a lie, it is hypocritical to advocate social education, and still make it a virtual crime to be a gay teacher. I think it is time for a change. If you agree please send an email to
chunglunfong@yahoo.com.hk. If you could just say all teachers deserve respect and support no matter their sexual orientation, it would help us have the courage to make a stand. It seems so difficult when it feels no one cares. Thank you. Oh the school is an international one so should have a modern outlook. Kiangsu Chekiang College International Section. Thanks again and keep strong!
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I have lived in South Korea for 3 years, I have loved every moment of my time.. so far!

I think this is a very Gay friendly country behind the scenes .

Legally the system is dated and the role of the Church dominates.

Change is needed and it is needed quickly because the world we live in HAS CHANGED and the Koreans need to get with the times..

Please sign my petition http://chn.ge/15MLc7k

As a Gay guy, I am concerned about the shame that society places on homosexuality. In Korea you have the proud Gay and the closet... who often gets married to a woman, under a joke of a situtation bogged down with contracts or a guy who will leave the country or take their own life.. the latter is my biggest concern... as it the situtation of parents throwing their kids out..

Please help SEOUL to wake up!

I find it ironic that Adjushis (old men) are allowed to rape freely in Saunas without problem or to feel men or women up and down in public without issue. I was on a Metro when an Old man touched my backside and then penis, I shouted at him, not one person did anything and the Korean Police simply took notes and said it happened an awful lot but because it is a Gay issue, it doesn't matter.

This country is awesome but THERE are problems.

Gays in the Army are asked hundreds of question to prove Gayness.

AKA WAKE UP and issue EQUAL RIGHTS
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In the U.S context, prominent domestic organizations sought to establish LGBT normalcy and inclusion as a means of assimilating into the heterosexual mainstream in order to change the minds and hearts of heterosexuals, pressuring local LBGT communities and individuals to give up their own sense of self and experience. I think its important to remember that stressing that " LGBTI people" are as normal as heterosexuals and deserve acceptance precisely because we are like every one else (aka straight people) was a political strategy. We need to remember what is normal and natural in society is constructed, our understandings of these categories are made up by mainstream society and politics. We should take pride in our difference and our queerness, we should not feel that we must make ourselves normal for others in order to feel good or enough or deserving of rights. there is no normal
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Bushra (user currently living in BANGLADESH) posted for lesbian readers to the BANGLADESH country page on 24/12/2013 tagged with intersex, at the work place, lgbt families, health, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation +5
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Hey there. This is Bushra from Bangladesh. I currently live in Dhaka and I'm 19 years old. I've been working with some Bangladeshi organisations that deal with sexual minorities in Bangladesh. I myself am trying to build up an organisation that deal with only lesbians and bisexual women in Bangladesh. Our aim is to reach out to as many women we can to invite them to this group so that they can be themselves. Homosexual people are still very discriminated in this country. We are providing them a space to open themselves up, talk it out and do some social work as safely as possible.

I hope ILGA and other Bangladeshi fellows will appreciate our/my work and maybe a part of it.
Take good care all.

If you wanna contact me then mail me at cosmicrayotc@yahoo.com
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Silvia (user currently living in SPAIN) posted for readers to the SPAIN country page on 21/12/2013 tagged with at the work place
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En mi puesto de trabajo se insultan diciendo "putos maricones de mierda" o "puto marica" y mis jefes no hacen nada, a pesar de mis quejas. Y cuando me quejĂŠ me dijeron que la mente cerrada soy yo! que tengo que respetar lo que piensa cada uno!
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ali (user currently living in YEMEN) posted for gay readers to the YEMEN country page on 18/12/2013 tagged with intersex, at the work place, hate crime and violence prevention, health, human rights, sexual orientation, illegality of male to male relationships
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I am a gay I am 25 years
from yemen

i cant walk or talk with any one ,
In my community and my family want me sanish
I can not get any chance to work .. I can not walk in the street
my community treats me racist
My family want to get rid of me
Dealing with the community and my family is very difficult
I was working Internet Marketing But my brother made them package me He does not want me get the money
Two years ago, I went to another city , I worked in a hotel receptionist , the work was good .
Two months later, a man from my city ,He told them about me.
I can not continue because of harassment from employees and management.
I Quit
if i want go to the market , everyone look up and down at me ,, i can not stay 5 minutes in the market or Any public place.
,Always thinking Run away to anywhere no one knows me
They want me to commit suicide .. But I do not want .. Also I can not live
in the home They do not let me sleep and They tortured me psychological torture
In fact, I do not feel I am a human ,They look to me as a metamorphosis or a freak
my family treat me As a person stinking and some time as a slave
I'm scared to death , from my family , every day i thinking what they will do in the next day.
they torment me
I suffer from psychological problems.
i want runaway
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esam (user currently living in YEMEN) posted for gay readers to the YEMEN country page in response to this story on 16/12/2013 tagged with tourism, at the work place, adoption, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights
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I am a gay I am 25 years



i cant walk or talk with any one ,
In my community and my family want me sanish
I can not get any chance to work .. I can not walk in the street
my community treats me racist
My family want to get rid of me
Dealing with the community and my family is very difficult
I was working Internet Marketing But my brother made them package me He does not want me get the money
Two years ago, I went to another city , I worked in a hotel receptionist , the work was good .
Two months later, a man from my city ,He told them about me.
I can not continue because of harassment from employees and management.
I Quit
if i want go to the market , everyone look up and down at me ,, i can not stay 5 minutes in the market or Any public place.
,Always thinking Run away to anywhere no one knows me
They want me to commit suicide .. But I do not want .. Also I can not live
in the home They do not let me sleep and They tortured me psychological torture
In fact, I do not feel I am a human ,They look to me as a metamorphosis or a freak
my family treat me As a person stinking and some time as a slave
I'm scared to death , from my family , every day i thinking what they will do in the next day.
they torment me
I suffer from psychological problems.
? I do not no what i can do
my email anyo848@gmail.com
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esam (user currently living in YEMEN) posted for gay readers to the YEMEN country page on 16/12/2013 tagged with at the work place, adoption, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, religion
link
I am a gay I am 25 years



i cant walk or talk with any one ,
In my community and my family want me sanish
I can not get any chance to work .. I can not walk in the street
my community treats me racist
My family want to get rid of me
Dealing with the community and my family is very difficult
I was working Internet Marketing But my brother made them package me He does not want me get the money
Two years ago, I went to another city , I worked in a hotel receptionist , the work was good .
Two months later, a man from my city ,He told them about me.
I can not continue because of harassment from employees and management.
I Quit
if i want go to the market , everyone look up and down at me ,, i can not stay 5 minutes in the market or Any public place.
,Always thinking Run away to anywhere no one knows me
They want me to commit suicide .. But I do not want .. Also I can not live
in the home They do not let me sleep and They tortured me psychological torture
In fact, I do not feel I am a human ,They look to me as a metamorphosis or a freak
my family treat me As a person stinking and some time as a slave
I'm scared to death , from my family , every day i thinking what they will do in the next day.
they torment me
I suffer from psychological problems.
? I do not no what i can do
add response to story
link
Dear Friends,

Many of my closeted acquaintances have been police agents, and they are (of course) the most screwed up people. However, I do believe that everyone who comes out becomes not only happier but also a better person. Please distribute the text below (or the pdf that you can get free of charge by emailing davidhuttner@yahoo.com) to your members who were once in the closet, and ask them to tell me whether my description of latent homosexuals doesn't accurately describe their former life in the closet. Sincerely, David Huttner
THE SPY I LOVED
(SECRETS TO THE RISE OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA)

Published by David Huttner at Amazon.com © 2013.
Version 3.2

Other nonfiction works of David Huttner that should be available at Amazon include:
Decoding the Deluge and Finding the Path for Civilization (3 volumes),
Irish Mythology, Passageway to Prehistory,
The First Christmas,
Stage II of the Revolution,
Just Say No to Latent Homosexual Crusades
The Nonfiction Works of David Huttner Summarized
Social Harmony as Measured by Music
Converting the World to English

This book is dedicated to Neil Heywood and the other courageous and moral individuals who exposed his murderers and brought them to justice. Their various nationalities don’t matter.

The word “spy” in my title refers only to the woman that I loved most recently and most deeply. When you love someone, you struggle to become one with him or her. Doing that gets harder and more involved the older you are and the more you know about yourself. That’s why it quite rightfully seems as if earlier loves were not loved at all compared to the most recent one. In truth – I’ve loved, tried to love or thought I loved many spies.
I have no choice but to try to love spies. They are the only people available to me. You see, I’m not a normal person in one way. I’m the author of a comprehensive, new social science. That means that either I’m the world’s best social scientist – by far; or I’m stark raving mad. You decide which. But you will need to accept this possibility of me being the world’s best social scientist in order to find the chronicle that follows credible. Please do read my books; and if you can’t download them at Amazon, Kindle or Smashwords.com, raise bloody hell in defense of our political and civil rights. The books unveil the basic outline of our prehistory and provide a new understanding of our religions, east-west differences and the class struggle. With these subjects understood, the prescription for a problem-free, sustainable world in which everyone is able to enjoy heterosexual love with the perfect partner – falls right out. Any two year old could draw the right conclusions. Moreover, as my little book, Stage II of the Revolution explains, we lack only one piece of software to carry out this prescription, to turn our world into a paradise. Developing that software would only require some government to assemble an appropriate team of geneticists and bioinformatics experts and throw a few million dollars at them. This could be easily accomplished if any government was willing to improve itself and lead its people in undertaking fundamental change. None is. I’ll show you why.
Why me and not some other American? Why did I become the social science guy and not one of the other seven billion plus people on this planet? The answers are several and one of them is very complex. I’m describing it in a screenplay entitled Heaven Sent. Heaven Sent is only half finished as I write these words. I’ll admit to you now that “George” never existed. George was the invisible alien to whom I attributed most of my discoveries in my last work, Just Say No to Latent Homosexual Crusades. No other work, unless it’s as censored as my works and unknown to me, has dared to openly describe people with same sex siblings, latent homosexual people, as having the problems they have. I had to create George in order to efface myself and avert the furor of all the big business moguls, politicians, (domestic) police agents and spies who were likely to be infuriated by this message. The present accounts will confirm Just Say No’s information about latently homosexual people a thousand times over. As another George, Orwell, predicted in his famous novel, 1984, latently homosexual people who are unable to love have achieved a virtual monopoly of the world’s wealth and power. They are the people who are everywhere causing, aggravating and maintaining problems. We must make them feel that they have permission to love the people they want to love so that they will be motivated by love instead of fear.
To quickly review latent homosexuality: those of us with two parents tend to love the opposite sex parent more than anyone else. He or she is the person we most want to be with and for whom we must find a substitute for love, for becoming whole, for developing from a mere for-itself into a for-itself that is also an in-itself (Sartre). Love means two people struggling to become one, developing common values and interests, becoming master and slave to one another, putting each other’s interests, trust and confidence ahead of those of all other third persons and groups and allowing no third person or group to come between you.
But in our ever more overpopulated and unequal opportunity world, in our ever more savage and insecure world, it is ever harder to find a Mr. or Ms. LooksRight who is willing and able to also be our Mr. or Ms. ThinksRight and DesireRight (our Mr. or Ms. Right per se). If we have a sibling, he or she is younger than the opposite sex parent and tends to become our model of beauty. Thus, a love-sex conflict develops. The more difficult it is for us to find love with an opposite sex parent substitute, the more we tend to focus our sexual fantasies and desires upon the sibling or a substitute for the sibling. If this desired sibling is of the opposite sex, we tend to become promiscuous. If he or she is of the same sex, we tend to become homosexual. But if we have two parents and a heterosexual role model, we cannot accept homosexual impulses. Rather than satisfy them, we deny and hide them. We become latent homosexuals (hidden homosexuals) who are unable to love because we won’t allow ourselves to love the people we want to love. Again, the more savage a society is [the greater the K and R strategies are and the lesser the equal opportunity and population control are within a society] the more likely are people with same sex siblings to become latent homosexuals.
The greater the homosexual impulses are the greater is the conflict within the latent homosexual person. To the extent that the person is conscious of these impulses, he or she suffers from conscious guilt and self-hatred. To that same extent, he or she seeks relief by lying, cheating, humiliating or coercing other people – lowering them in his or her own estimation. If you lie about something as basic as what sex you desire, then virtually all other lies are of lesser magnitude and easy to tell. To the extent that they are conscious of their homosexuality, latent homosexuals are natural liars, cheaters and thieves. To the extent that the impulses are repressed and unconscious, he or she suffers from unconscious quilt, the vague feeling that something about him or her is bad and unacceptable. To relieve this vague anxiety, he or she projects the inner conflict and looks for or creates some definable, external conflict to which the anxiety can be attributed and which can mask the anxiety’s real sources of internal conflict. For these reasons (the need to deceive, humiliate or coerce others and the need to always be fighting in some way), latent homosexual people are drawn into big, lucrative business and government (especially the police, the army, the judiciary and espionage) like metal filings to a magnet. The more overpopulated society becomes the more latent homosexual people dominate society’s power bases. This is the message of George Orwell’s prophetic, 1949 dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty-four. The fact that you will not find ANY similarly honest and realistic review of the book shows you how prophetic Orwell’s 1949 book was and how accurate my above description is.
The experiences that I’ll relate below will all further confirm this. They’ll confirm that latent homosexual people not only cause most of the world’s problems, but they also aggravate and preserve those problems because a problem-free world, such as I have designed and promote in my books, is terrifying to them. A problem-free world would unmask them and force them to deal with their inner conflict. It would force them to either gratify those impulses (become openly practicing homosexuals) or somehow eliminate those impulses. They despair of the possibility of making either of these most basic and important changes to themselves and tend to conclude that all fundamental change is impossible.
When politicians promise to bring change if elected, they have their latent homosexual tongues in their latent homosexual cheeks. They are not enticed by my books and the prospect they offer of a problem-free world in which everyone can enjoy heterosexual love with the perfect partner. Far from it. Such a scenario offers no incentive to them. They have no inkling of what heterosexual love is, and they are threatened by the prospect of a problem-free world. They are determining all the policies, especially the foreign policies, within every country in our contemporary world.
Because I’ve spent most of my life in the two most opposite and powerful countries, the United State and China, I will focus upon them. Both of these societies refuse to undergo the basic changes that they so desperately need to undergo. Instead of competing with each other by improving themselves, by strengthening themselves (the healthy, sane way to compete), they are competing by trying to take advantage of their rival’s weaknesses (the neurotic, latent homosexual way to compete). Western readers already know that this is true of the United States. I will show you below that it is also true of China.
My parents were both latently homosexual. My father encouraged his very precocious and imaginative son to fulfill the father’s political ambitions. For now, suffice it to say that Father’s motives for pushing me into politics were, as you would expect of any latent homosexual, not all noble. By the time that I was in high school, Father had gotten into real estate. He and a rich neighbor and friend of his wanted to use me and my political connections to get advance notice of where new highways and other public works would be built. This kind of political cronyism and thievery is the real estate equivalent of Wall Street’s insider trading. It goes on in every locality. Except when Indian and other public lands were sold off, in the US, this has always been candy store theft compared to the thieves’ banquet that occurs when socialist countries suddenly decide to become market economies and sell off public assets.
Not just his encouragement but also a series of fluke circumstances enabled me to be extremely successful in politics at an early age. The fluke circumstances are the subject of my coming screenplay, Heaven Sent. These circumstances brought me to the attention of the intelligence community. As an eighth grade kid, I was invited into the most prestigious men’s club in Indianapolis. There, lawyers trained me for public speaking and debate.
Three and a half years later, in the summer of 1966, the CIA decided to launch its first domestic operation. The Teenage Republican Clubs were launched in a handful of urban areas. The plan was to cultivate cadre, youths who would become political leaders, as the Young Pioneers groups were doing in Soviet Russia and China. I was tapped to become the leader of the Indianapolis area clubs. The Republican Party has controlled Indianapolis and Indiana for longer than anyone can remember; but during my stint as youth leader, we put our rival “Democratic” Party almost totally out of business. In the elections, we swept every office except the prosecutor’s office. My teenage clubs not only achieved all of our goals, but we also made money in the process! Politics is supposed to cost money. My groups operated in the black!
At the end of my stint as Republican youth leader, upon graduating from high school, I was Mayor Richard Lugar’s right hand boy, the golden boy of Indianapolis and Indiana. All things were possible for me. All doors were wide open.
There were only two problems. First, I was not latently homosexual. I actually believed in love and change. I wanted to play the biggest role I could in actually improving the world. I didn’t just want to take advantage of others, and I had learned – on the inside – how dirty and deceitful politics is. Secondly, in retrospect, it is clear that my background and allegiances were not narrow enough to make me a prime candidate for absorbing and accepting the one-sided ideology of the Ks. (See Endnote 1.) My mother had been born of an unmarried waif and given up for adoption. During my sophomore year of high school, when my parents were going through a divorce, I had lived with the family of an ironworker. Upon finishing high school, unable to get along with my father and working my way through college, I learned to sympathize with and partially identify with the people on the bottom.
I’ll never forget my moment of truth regarding democracy and general elections. I was at party headquarters stuffing envelopes at about five o’clock on a weekday afternoon. Everyone else had gone home except the party chairman and me. I’ll omit his name for the sake of his posterity. Never punish people for anything you learn while they are being open and honest and trying to help you.
“Do you know how we did it?” he asked. He was referring to the clean sweep we had made of the elections. “We” refers to “The Action Slate,” a cliché of young attorneys and other professionals. The group was centered about Richard Lugar, former school board chairman, ex naval intelligence officer and future six-term US Senator and Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. They had organized for the purpose of taking over the Republican Party and local politics.
“How” I asked, naively.
I don’t remember his words verbatim, but the gist was as follows. “First we did some research. We drew up a list of all the wealthiest families in the county. Then we arranged private meetings with the patriarchs whereat we traded the right political promises for the lion’s share of the campaign contribution pledges.”
I decided then and there that my political career would end as soon as my stint as youth leader was over. My father and my girlfriend’s father were furious when I announced that I wanted to go to California for college. At a coastline, I would be more in touch with the outside world and people from other countries. I’d get a better education. My father couldn’t understand this. He thought that California’s allure was only due to my divorced mother living there. He was wrong. I knew also that in the University of California, Democratic Governor Pat Brown, using aerospace and defense industry money, had built the nation’s best public school system during the 1950s and 60s.
With no financial help from the family but relying on the local Republican Party for a part-time job that meshed with my studies, I started college at the regional campus of Indiana University as a student majoring in chemistry. My plan of those days was to go into medicine, but the Vietnam War was raging. It was difficult for me to take my mind off politics and international relations and stay focused on physical science.
A turning point came over semester break while I was visiting the Bloomington campus. There I met left wing students who were publishing their own newspaper. After a heated political debate, they convinced me that my sources of information were too limited. I promised to read the original Vietnam Reader by Marcus Raskin and Bernard Fall, French and American journalists. This book opened my eyes to American lies about Vietnam, and started what was to become a one hundred and eighty degree turnabout in my political outlook. At the end of the first year, my A grade average enabled me to transfer to the University of California at Riverside where that turnabout would continue.
Knowing that it would be some time yet before my financial conditions improved, I sold my VW bug and bought a Honda, 350-cc motorcycle. This little bike would provide me with the cheapest transportation in sunny, southern California. My hind end was still shaking for days after my arrival, but it got me there.
I found the part time jobs I needed and worked like hell until the spring of my sophomore (second) year, when I was able to prove financial independence and get some government financial aid and student loans that covered books and tuition. Soon after the start of school at Riverside, I changed my major from Chemistry to Comparative Economic Systems. I took all the courses I could under left-wing and avowed Marxist professors.
Soon I came to the attention of the American intelligence community again. But this time, I got their attention for the wrong reasons and ended up in their hot files. A close friend from high school who had joined the military and The Defense Intelligence Agency came out to California (or was sent out) to meet with me. He wanted to know if their latest intelligence was true. It was. Their own, numero uno trainee was headed in the opposite direction!
For the next twenty years, from 1969 to 1989, I fought an escalating war with the US intelligence community. The more they tried to coerce me, violate my civil rights and force me back into the fold, the more adamant I became in opposing them. After college, in 1971, in Riverside, the Vietnam War was still raging; and my draft number came up. There was no way that this young Marxist was going to fight for American imperialism. But I didn’t have the guts to do what Mohammed Ali did either. I didn’t want to go to prison to set the right example for other young men. Besides, I was an unknown person. What good would it do for an obscure guy like me to languish in prison? I had nothing physically wrong with me that would qualify me for 4F status and military exemption. Neither did I have a family that would help support me in Canada or Norway. I applied for conscientious objector status with my draft board in Indianapolis. But the draft board in this jurisdiction only recognized conscientious objectors who objected on religious grounds. I was objecting to the Vietnam War on political and humanitarian grounds. I got a job as an orderly at Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis while waiting for the draft board to rule on my case. I knew that I hadn’t a snowball’s chance in hell.
One weekend, in that summer of 1971, I was sitting in the student union of Butler University when a history professor I knew came up to me. I had met him during my freshman year at both IU Indianapolis and Butler’s Newman Center coffee house. He was a retired military man and – no doubt – an intelligence officer. When he offered to get me into a California National Guard unit, I readily accepted. This seemed a reasonable compromise because guard units are only rarely called up for active duty abroad. Prior to serving one weekend per month with the Colton California Armored Cavalry Unit of the National Guard, I was sent to Fort Knox, Kentucky for basic training and advanced individual training. When the results of our entrance exams came back, I was invited to go to Monterey, California language school to train as a spy. I declined the offer. This was unheard of at this time. Monterey Language School was considered a privilege and an honor. Upon leaving the military, its graduates had all the doors of the US Government open to them. For the next three months of basic training and advanced individual training as a scout attached to armor, they did everything to make my life hell and get me to change my political direction. After returning to California, the Colton guard unit gave me the same treatment. I stood firm but stoic in my position until the weekend when they started training us for riot duty. Defending the country from external attack would have been fine with me. That I could do. But how could a Marxist use military force to put down rioting poor people? Although the US communist party never trusted me and was full of FBI agents, I was enroute to reading about as much Marxism-Leninism as anyone. I considered it my duty to turn rioters into socialist revolutionaries. Many of the other men in the Southern California National Guard units were also college educated and left-leaning. We were being trained for riot duty, all of us from Southern California, at the Pomona Fair Grounds when I came up with the solution to this contradiction. I started to act like comedian, Woody Allen. When the commander said, “Right face,” I turned left. When he said, “About face,” I kept marching forward, etc. Soon everyone was doing the same. Discipline broke down everywhere. They had to call the weekend exercise to a premature halt; but before dismissing us, they herded us into the huge cow palace. A fuddy-duddy, old, weekend warrior with a riding crop and English riding breeches, climbed a ladder for an elevated podium to address the huge throng. As a comedian, he promised to be much better than the rest of us. So as he was climbing his ladder to the podium, my buddies and I were scurrying into the shadows at the back of the crowd.
He held up a megaphone and through it yelled, “I’m proud of the way you performed out there this weekend, men. I’m confident that if any civil disorder breaks out in Southern California, you men will be able to put it down. What do you say, men? Did you really learn something this weekend?”
In my most booming voice, I yelled out, “Hell no!”
One of my buddies added, “It was a waste of our time!”
With this, the whole cow palace erupted into peals of laughter. For the next several months I didn’t receive the usual notice to report for guard duty. My hope that they would just forget about me was ill considered. The next notice I did receive was a notice to report for active duty in the regular army. The demand for Marxist revolutionaries being what it was in the US, I was an extended undergraduate at this time, working on a second major in psychology. Within the UCR campus community, I put out the call for help. With the advice of friends, I found the right lawyer and the right psychiatrist in LA to help me. A plausible plan took shape. We would apply for my general discharge on the grounds of mental instability. My team of professionals would prepare the documents and the testimonials, but I would have to convince an army psychologist that I was nutty as a fruitcake, crazy. Of course, the CIA knew that I was as crazy as a fox, but the psychologist would be someone who had never met me. From the book of accepted psychiatric stereotypes, I chose catatonic schizophrenic. These folks are described as totally withdrawn and out of touch with their surroundings. For the appointed meeting, I dressed in blue jeans, a blue sweater and black shoes. I wanted to look cold. For a prop, a carried a blue laundry bag stuffed with dirty, smelly clothes and latched onto it as if it were a teddy bear.
“Come in, Private Huttner,” he said, opening the door to his office. “Have a seat. I’ll be with you in a moment.”
This little game of one-upmanship is a favorite ploy of latent homosexuals in all walks of life. They like to make you think that they are more important than you by making you wait for them. But for once, I was happy to play. It gave me a chance to look around his office and scope him out. I noticed that hanging on the wall behind his desk was a Christian cross with Jesus nailed to it. Blood was dripping from the hands and feet. Bingo! Here was a cuckoo that I could easily manipulate. I knew that I was home free.
He put down his pen and began with small talk intended to break the ice. I pretended not to hear and rarely answered. When I did answer his questions, it was with, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.” I could see that he was getting frustrated.
“Ok,” he said, “I’m going to say a word; and you say whatever pops into your mind.”
I stared out the window.
“Private Huttner… Private Huttner, do you understand what we’re doing?”
I let him call my name twice more and then waited five or ten seconds before returning my gaze and silently nodding.
“Table,” he said.
“Goose,” I answered.
“Thunder,” he said,
“Catalog,” I answered.
I honestly don’t remember his exact words, but I kept giving off the wall answers and watching his frustration mount. I refused to communicate, to touch bases with him. At the point where he seemed to know that one of us had to be crazy, I started laughing in response to whatever word he said. That was all that was needed to unhinge him. I could read his thoughts: “One of us is crazy, and it sure can’t be me.”
He grabbed his pen, scrawled something on the form in front of him and said, “I think that will be enough, Mr. Huttner. You can go home now.”
Free of the army and tired of school, I forayed into residential real estate and corporate sales (with Philip Morris). I did extremely well, but my heart wasn’t in either one, and I only stayed long enough to prove to my father that I was as good a salesman as he was.
Next, my love interest in a woman I met at Santa Monica Beach took me to LA. I courted Jill for a year while working at odd jobs, but I was unable to marry her for three reasons. First, I had left my high school girl friend “intact.” The college girlfriends had been too ambitious to marry a Marxist, which in the US is equivalent to “pariah.” My wife had to be a virgin, and this lady was a divorced woman. Second, someone was influencing her behind my back, coming between us. That will always prevent two people from becoming one, as love requires. Third, that someone could not be her psychiatrist father in Connecticut as she claimed. Whoever it was, he was a superb and permanently behind-the-scenes game player. When we were getting down to the nitty-gritty of our negotiations, an expensive, honeymoon package for two in Las Vegas arrived at my door. Again, the CIA was on my tail. I said permanently goodbye to her and moved to San Francisco a few days later.
In San Francisco, I worked as a maitre d’ in boarding houses for my room and board, played poker at night for my spending money and read world history and communist party literature or worked as a legal process server in the afternoons. When the reading material ran out, I started working with the Longshoremen’s and Warehouse Workers’ Union, Local 6. I was only a few days away from getting my union book (full membership in the union) when another guy picked a fight with me. Little did I know that this would cost me my seniority and send me back to square one with the union. In retrospect, I know that the antagonist had to be an FBI agent.
My next job was with the Yellow Cab Company, the biggest taxi company in San Francisco at that time (1975). I said to myself, “David, at last you’ve found a job that the police can’t bounce you out of. Nobody else wants it.”
But I was wrong. After six months on that job, it was time for the union elections. I had been a fixture at the local communist party bookstore in the Mission District but had despaired of joining the party. Why? Two reasons: first, I admitted to having been trained by the CIA; and they didn’t trust me. Secondly, at a party class, the only one I ever attended, the instructor vehemently denied that overpopulation could be a problem and cursed Thomas Malthus as a scoundrel. Even at this early stage of my education, I could see that Malthus was one-sided but correct in what he said. I could not submit to the discipline of any group this unrealistic. Accordingly, I fully supported the communist party slate of candidates for the taxi drivers’ union offices; but I marched separately. I did my own agitating, especially for unity between the so-called “black” and “white” drivers, a major issue at this time. The ballots were to be signed and cast by a Friday afternoon at the close of the day shift (5 PM). We were told that a private company had been hired to count them and that they would announce the results on the following Monday. When the day shift guys showed up for work on Monday, the cars were impounded, the gates were locked and armed guards were standing everywhere. So much for democracy in the Land of the Free.
Still a zealous but party less Marxist, I packed my bags and moved to Berlin, Germany. I don’t think I ever spoke English even once during the five months that I lived there. Although German had always been my worst subject in school, I was determined to master it and make Germany my new home. I rented a room above a tavern (kneipe) in Tegel, the French quarter. In Reinickendorf, I found a job working as a laborer in a factory that made ovens for the ceramics industry. I was attending meetings of the SEP, Socialistische Einheit’s Partei, when my factory declared bankruptcy. With no social life and unemployed (or so I thought, not understanding that the government would take over the factory), I flew to London. My intention was to travel on to Ireland. An agent provocateur sat next to me on the plane. The idiot said his name was Held (hero). I ignored him. In the immigration line at Gatwick Airport, two other police agents converged on the immigration officer just as I got before him. They whispered something that I couldn’t make out and left. When I stepped forward, he asked for my passport and nonchalantly asked if I might want to stay in the UK.
“Why not?” I responded.
That was the wrong answer. It became their lawful excuse for telling me that I could not enter the country and would have to choose a flight out. Freddy Laker had a $500 flight to New York City. I took it.
I was in New York for only about a month, living in a basement apartment in Long Island City, driving the day shift with a nearby taxi company and trying to become a member of CPUSA when I met Beatrice. I picked her up at Kennedy Airport. She was returning to the country from abroad or so she said. She was nineteen years my senior. I did not have the same powerful, physical attraction for her that I had had for my high school girlfriend and several others. But Beatrice understood me and accepted me. She told me that she worked as a translator at the United Nations (Spanish, French and English). She had a small but comfortable apartment at Tutor City, across the street from the UN. She never mastered philosophy, but – philosophy notwithstanding – Beatrice was the most intelligent and educated woman I’ve ever known. Social outcast that I was, I had no prospects that compared to her. We started dating, and soon we were living together.
I had to tell the Party about Beatrice and did. Within a week the Party member who was working with me called me in for a private talk. “Beatrice works for the CIA,” he said.
I should have known. I’m simply not allowed to marry or even date anyone who’s not a spy or police informer. But the Party had more to say: “You’ll have to leave her,” he said.
This was really bad news. Here was the only woman that I’d ever been able to get along with, the only woman that seemed to both love and accept me, one of only two female, heterosexual police agents I ever had the pleasure of knowing; and they were telling me that I had to leave her. What was their alternative? In San Francisco, I had been introduced to one woman whom I desired, but she was divorced and had a child. She too was not the beautiful virgin that I once lost and still needed. What American woman over the age of seventeen is? Moreover, all the party people seemed to resent me for having come from a more privileged background and having been trained by the CIA. I had only two choices: stay with Beatrice and try to influence the capitalists in a positive way or be a perpetual outsider and on-hanger with the Party. I chose the former.
For the next twenty-seven years, I lived in New York City. I had almost no social life. I worked in a taxi most of that time – eighty hours per week. I saved the little money that I made. What else could I do with it? I occasionally went on trips around the world with Beatrice. In all, we traveled to over twenty countries; but our relationship quickly dwindled into a mere friendship. She couldn’t be honest with me about her CIA work; and, until Perestroika time, I pretended not to know. Although I am certain that Beatrice loved me, I was under no obligation to be honest and faithful to someone who was not honest with me. I had ceased to believe in love long before I even met her, and I didn’t resist the temptation to have affairs whenever the opportunities arose. Education provided the only continuity in my loveless life and still does. It’s the optimistic side of the serenity prayer. I kept studying world literature and Marxism. I kept up with current events.
After I paid off the note on my taxi, paid off my medallion (taxi owner’s permit), “my tin” as we say, I started working fewer hours. At about this time, my paternal grandmother, who had always done whatever she could to help me and whom I loved dearly, went into a nursing home. I flew several times out to LA to be with her. In Grandma’s nursing home, I met Lupe, a twenty-eight year old Mexican woman, an illegal immigrant who had walked across the border with relatives. Lupe appeared innocent. She was definitely virginal and lovely, but she was uneducated and a devout Catholic. It was stupid of me not to know that she was either already cooperating with the CIA or would be corrupted by them. In retrospect, I know that she was already working as a police informer when I met her because she was unafraid of being deported. I deflowered Lupe (the worst mistake of my life), divorced Beatrice and married Lupe. I didn’t want to lose Beatrice as a friend, so I tolerated it when the CIA used Beatrice to funnel money to Lupe and the two children that we had together. I never wanted more than one child, but Lupe tricked me into conceiving a second one. Wow, does that ever do wonders for a marriage! Beatrice was able to tolerate Lupe, the woman who took me from her, apparently because she knew that Lupe was a police informer and (unlike Beatrice and myself) a latent homosexual. Beatrice enjoyed watching me suffer with Lupe. The loves of Lupe’s life have been her sister and her female cousin and next door neighbor in their little Mexican village. By the way, the litmus test of sexual orientation (what one really desires as opposed to what one does) is whether or not a person consistently prefers oral sex. I wasn’t sure that Lupe was betraying me to the police until a particular incident confirmed this long-held suspicion.
The Wheel of Fortune television game show people came to the Lexington Hotel to hold tryouts for their show. This was circa 1990, more than four years into my marriage with Lupe. This was about one year after I made the social science discovery of the century and perhaps the millennium. At that time, the police were working harder than ever to keep me under control and my work under wraps. I heard about the tryouts, showed up and scored high enough to qualify for being on the show. They give you a page full of puzzles (place names, idioms, proverbs, etc,) with most of the letters missing. You have to guess what goes in the blanks, just as they do on the TV show. It’s not unusual for contestants to win tens of thousands of dollars in cash and prizes in just thirty minutes. However, there was a second hurtle, a simple one that all of us had to pass. We had to jump up and down and act excited as the winners do on the show. Prior to this, they asked all of us if we had a spouse who was an ethnic minority person. I raised my hand and told them that my wife was Mexican. “Get her down here,” they said. Now they were doing the jumping up and down in anticipation of increasing their viewing audience. I phoned Lupe and told her to hop on the F or the E train, both of which stopped two blocks from our home and at the corner by the Lexington Hotel. Her refusal to come had only one possible explanation: the police didn’t want me on this show where I might gain fortune or fame and get out of their control.
Oh, as for the social science discovery of the millennium, Lupe, our son Daniel and I were vacationing in her little Mexican village in the summer of 1989. I spent most of my time holed up in a room with a suitcase full of books. As I explain in the Preface of Decoding the Deluge, it was there that the light went on for me. It was then and there that I realized that “the Flood” is symbolic of the Species War, the most violent and traumatic series of events in the life of man and the cryptic major subject of all our religions. I had to coin the term “Species War.”
It was from that moment on that the US government started treating me as a wonder of the world, a wonder that they wanted to keep hidden. Through Random House Publishers they encouraged me to keep researching and writing. Through Beatrice, they provided my family with everything they could think to ask for and more. I rarely asked for anything because I didn’t want to be beholden to the CIA and the elite American ruling class. I had to accept the limousines they gave me because I felt I had to work, and they wouldn’t let me do anything else but drive a limo. I had to have several because one caught on fire and burned up. Another was totaled by Lupe in an accident. However, I didn’t drive the limos for long because I couldn’t stand the wealthy clients. They all marry for money. They are all miserable, and they make everyone around them miserable. I preferred to drive a taxi and to deal with young, armed, angry, young black men than to tolerate the arrogance and impudence of the rich.
I drove the limo or continued to drive taxis during the years, from 1989 to 2004, when I was continually expanding and developing my major work, the three volume Decoding the Deluge and Finding the Path for Civilization and its supplement, Irish Mythology, Passageway to Prehistory. The more the works improved, the more impatient I was to have them published and the more desperate were the police to suppress them. Several incidents from this period merit retelling.
There was a certain FBI agent working undercover on Wall Street who kept hiring me once or twice a week to drive him from Lehman Brothers to his home in Darien, Connecticut. It was especially easy for me to ID this guy because I too had trained for stock brokerage. I had worked briefly for two different brokerage firms after passing the Series 7 Exam. The police had no intention of really letting me do the job, so they sat me in a corner and had me cold calling from a book of leads that everyone had gone over a thousand times. At any rate, I knew the business and police agents well enough to spot this guy. He kept asking about my books. One day he said to me, “You know, Dave, I think the Catholic Church might buy your books!”
Of course, he meant buy them in order to bury them. Among other things, my books offer a new and scientific understanding of religion – all religions pagan and modern and all the strange phenomena connected with religion. Religious folks, especially clergy, feel extremely threatened by my books. I had no intention of selling out to those scoundrels. I’d sooner die, but I wanted to play with them. So I said, “Not for less than $33,000,000 they won’t.”
About a month later, I got a call from a French diplomat, an acquaintance of mine who lived at 45 Tutor City Place, immediately across the street from the UN, the building where Beatrice continued to live till the day she died and where I lived for thirteen years with her. When I showed up in my limo to pick the guy up, he walked out with a cardinal, a cardinal that had come all the way from the Vatican! He wore the miter cap, the spooky robes – the whole spiel! He had come to negotiate with me but was pretending to have met me by coincidence. Negotiations never got started because I couldn’t stop laughing.
In the early stages of my book’s development, I gave copies to the governments that the US government could least control. Through their consulates in NYC, I gave copies to the Soviets, the Chinese, the Vietnamese, the Cubans and the Japanese. Japanese art dealers became my best limo customers. Through Beatrice, the CIA offered to send me to medical school. I had only about one fourth of the prerequisite courses, but that didn’t matter to them. They just wanted to distract me from trying to publish or distribute copies of my books. When I grasped the true, K and R meaning of the class struggle (See Endnote 1), I shared it immediately with Beatrice and also told her at that time how early I had known her to be working for the CIA. Shortly after Perestroika, when I discovered the meaning of the Flood myths, I had also immediately told Beatrice. You might think, as I did then, that every sane person would want to make the compromises necessary to minimize K and R and civilize the world. You might think that every sane person, especially after being told of the possibility of developing the Stage II system of marriage and child-rearing that I divined in 2011, would want to maximize equal opportunity and population control. But if you think so, it can only be because you still don’t understand that the vast majority of big business people, politicians and secret police agents (spies) are all latent homosexuals. They are terrified of fundamental change and oblivious to love. Love can’t exist for them, and it only makes them resentful to see others enjoy love and sex.
As NIMH experimental psychologist John Calhoun foresaw in the 1950s, as I argue in the conclusion of The Nonfiction Works of David Huttner Summarized and as any insightful person should now suspect, latent homosexuals will soon feel very free to act upon their impulses if we don’t change or bypass them so as to minimize the K and R class struggle. A homosexual world is the default outcome of a savage K and R world. The only long-run alternative to maximizing equal opportunity and population control (civilizing the world) and implementing a Stage II marriage and child-rearing system (enabling everyone to enjoy heterosexual love with the ideal partner) – is a homosexual world, a world that is civilized only to the extent that its denizens are homosexual.
But back in New York, in the 1990s, my kids were still young and needed their father; so I was stuck in my loveless marriage to Lupe. I had to be patient with the books. Rather than accept their offer of medical school, I decided to go to law school. Beatrice and the CIA didn’t want me to become a lawyer. They especially didn’t want me to attend CUNY Law School, which was just a couple of miles away from our Briarwood apartment. Haywood Burns was still alive then and the Dean of CUNY Law School. Haywood was a very progressive, free-thinker. I don’t think they wanted Haywood and I getting together; so when I insisted upon going to law school, a full scholarship from Tulsa University (Oil U.) arrived in the mail.
While I was at Tulsa in my first year of law school, two things of note happened. Haywood and a female law professor colleague died in what was made to look like a traffic accident just one day before they were to appear on South African television touting a proposed constitution that they had written. Two or three years after this “accident,” a met a member of Haywood’s family who told me of how the limousine driver came all the way from South Africa to Haywood’s New York family. He came to beg their forgiveness. He had been told to stop the limousine in the middle of a remote intersection and run out of the car. The boy had been too dumb to add two and two together until after a truck speeding down an adjacent hill rammed into the limo, killing both Haywood and his colleague.
It was also during this first year of law school, at Tulsa, that the CIA sent Li Zhou to be my concubine. Her alleged job was to keep me busy and not influencing the local rednecks. The CIA was too stupid to know that Li was a double agent. She swore before I became intimate with her that she was an only child, but she wanted only oral sex. Only after I analyzed a recurrent dream for her, a dream wherein a woman kept approaching her from under the desk where she was sitting, did she realize and admit that the dream was erotic and the woman was her sister who had died in childbirth and was “under the ground.” She was also living at one point with a woman who was obviously a dyke. Latent homosexual or not, my plan was to take Li with me to Guangzhou, China, where I hoped to start my publishing company. Wow, did I have a lot to learn! But I’m not a slow learner except when my heart gets in the way, as it did with Jacline, whom we’ll meet below. When Li, like Beatrice, Lupe and others, couldn’t even hold on to the copy of my works that I would give her to study, I knew that she had to be either working for the CIA or at least pretending to work for them. She was a sweet gal, and I knew that the latter was more likely. Either way, I wanted to protect her by acting disappointed in her and leaving her. There will be more to learn about Li, later.
I pulled only a B average at Tulsa and had no interest in settling down there, so they didn’t renew my scholarship after the first year. I went through the second and third years of law school at CUNY, back in Queens, New York. Both years were uneventful except for breaking an ACL (anterior cruciate ligament). I broke it during the last year while training for a race that I had won within my age group the previous year. Imagine how those babies who miss school for a cold must have felt when this forty-eight year old man showed up for classes the next day with his leg swelled up like a balloon! I passed the New York State Bar Exam at the first opportunity that summer. I got one of the highest grades in my graduating class, so high that I didn’t have to sit for the second day of the exam, the essay writing day. I knew I had to nail the machine-graded Multistate Exam because the essay grading is subjective and allows the police agents to murder all the left-wing people.
Yet the CIA had the audacity to use the “character and fitness” committee to block my admission to the bar. This was really a low blow. How much character does one need to become an American lawyer? On the social respectability scale, they rank somewhere between used car salesmen and prostitutes. (We joke less about the prostitutes. ) Their only reason for rejecting me that was not an outright lie was their observation that I had lied to the US military to get out of the army. I appealed on the grounds that no one has any duty to be truthful with a compulsive liar, and I submitted a copy of The Vietnam Reader with my appeal. At the hearing, a senior member of Murder Inc. (a nickname for the CIA) appeared and terrorized everyone by making no attempt to hide his identity. He knew more about me than I could remember about myself. He knew everywhere that I had ever worked or lived for even a day! His first question and greatest concern was, “What if anything do you know about the murder of President John F Kennedy?”
A hush fell over the room. Everyone has heard about the many people in Dallas who died of mysterious causes after coming forth publically and claiming to have seen or heard more than one gunman. Whenever the subject of the Kennedys, the independence of the American judiciary or the great Justice Jackson quote came up at law school, I was in the habit of rousing people from their unconsciousness. I would tell them, “We all know unconsciously that the assassination of President Kennedy was a coup de tat within our own country and that the richest and most powerful Americans were behind the murder. The logic is simple and unequivocal. The alleged murderer, Lee Harvey Oswald, was shot while in the custody of Dallas police at Dallas police headquarters. We all saw the videotape on TV. There could be no doubt prior to the murder of Oswald that he was going to fry for any involvement he had in the Kennedy assassination. Oswald’s murderer, Jack Ruby, was not a personal friend of the President or his family, but he was a known racketeer and Mafioso. Ruby or his principals could only have had one motive for killing Oswald as they did. Their motive was to shut his mouth, to prevent Oswald from implicating others in the Kennedy assassination. If the richest and most powerful Americans did not already know what Oswald and Ruby knew and if they had wanted the public to know whatever Oswald and Ruby knew, then they would have forced Ruby to talk. The CIA and the American State Department have never been adverse to using torture when they’ve needed it. In fact, they have trained their counterparts in the use of torture in numerous countries. The fact that the richest and most powerful Americans did not make Ruby talk, the fact that he died in prison of an alleged heart attack over three years later, assures us of the converse. It assures us that the richest and most powerful Americans already knew and did not want the public to know whatever Oswald and Ruby knew about other conspirators in the assassination. Americans all know unconsciously what happened and have been living under a reign of terror ever since.”
Of course, I didn’t want to have to say this to the CIA, on the record at a hearing. Had I done so, everyone in the room might have been murdered. So I simply said, “I don’t know anything that isn’t already a matter of public record and accessible to everyone.” This was, of course, true. When I said this, everyone in the room, including the CIA agent, breathed a huge sigh of relief. Nevertheless, the little schlemiels of the Character and Fitness Committee did as they were ordered. They blocked my admission to the bar and stole my right to practice law. The CIA made it perfectly clear in private consultation what they expected from me. I had to stop all efforts to disseminate my books or forever forego the right to practice law in the USA.
Under no circumstances would I stop trying to publish my books. Since Li would not be available, my next thought was to ask, “What woman from your past might be a suitable wife and publishing partner?” Peggy Lynn came immediately to mind. Peggy was a very smart gal who had attended a special, “gifted” school with me during our eighth grade school year. She had also attended high school with me. She would be able to appreciate my books. But I had long lost contact with her. How was I to find her. There were about one hundred Peggy Lynns listed in American phone books. I didn’t let that stop me. I put together the list and started calling. It took me about a week of searching using my home computer and the phone. When I finally found her and after the initial formalities, the conversation went like this:
“Peggy, I am the author of a comprehensive, new social science. My books are earth-shaking, but the US government is censoring me. I need a smart, dedicated and determined wife and publishing partner to help me get the books out.”
“You’re too late, Dave. Just yesterday I accepted a new job at NASA, in Houston, Texas.”
I immediately smelled a rat. “Had you been looking for a job, Peggy?”
“No.”
“Had you sent out any resumes?”
“No.”
“So this job offer just came to you out of the blue?”
“Yes.”
“What had you been doing previously?”
“For years, I’ve worked as a database manager in a hospital.”
“Nuts,” I thought, “database manager and accountant are the first two positions I need to fill.” Then I challenged her, “Peggy, do you think that NASA tapped you to work for them because they had heard what a great database manager you were?”
“Yeah…”
“No, Peggy. The secret police were monitoring my efforts to find you, and they got to you before I did.”
It took Peggy two more years to read my books and realize that I was right. By that time, someone at NASA had married her. I cite this anecdote just to show you that the Americans, in addition to being good at electronic eavesdropping and remote surveillance, are past masters at every form of bribery. They bribed Peggy without her realizing it. You should also conclude from this to what lengths the “champions of freedom and democracy” are willing to go to in order to censor political thought. I say “political” because politics ought to be synonymous with applied social science. Our politics is limited to concentrated expressions of economics because we are still such unconscious savages.
Actually, the CIA message that I had to desist from all publishing efforts if I wanted to practice law in the USA was an even worse one: stop publishing or you’ll never practice law anywhere in the west. I already had enough experience with the Cubans and the Russians to know that the Chinese had become the leaders and were calling the shots within the socialist camp. I could only surmise that the same was true of the Americans and the capitalist camp. Experience had yet to verify this, but it soon did.
On the night before 9/11/2001, I went to bed with my bag packed with the traveling gear, my passport and a ticket to Iceland. I was still living in the Briarwood, Queens apartment with Lupe but sleeping in a separate bedroom whenever possible. That night, pleasant fantasies of life in a new and freer country danced in my dreams. The flight was for 2 PM. The airport, Kennedy, was only a few miles away. I could sleep in. At around 10:30 AM, I awoke to a phone call and Beatrice’s voice saying, “David, planes have hit the World Trade Center Towers.”
My first thought was, “She’s still having trouble with the singular and plural forms of English nouns.”
“You mean that a plane has hit the World Trade Center?” I asked. It took me a while to shake away the cobwebs and grasp what she was telling me. It took me several years to learn the truth as it gradually leaked out. When I did learn the truth, I uploaded a YouTube video of the exposé, Loose Change, to my blogs. That was sufficient to get my blogs permanently censored. These blogs, whereon I had hoped to sell my books, had already been censored most of the time. Some police agent or police agent group was continually disabling the functions as they had done with three Stores Online websites that I had purchased years earlier.
The socialist camp is cooperating with the 9/11 cover-up, is not telling the world that it was an inside job. It was, in fact, a hoax intended to provide a false pretext for invading Afghanistan. The big oil gangsters in both the “capitalist” (mk) camp and the “socialist” (fr) camp are enforcing the 9/11 cover-up because they are determined to monopolize oil and force it down our throats at any cost. We desperately need to switch from fossil fuels to a mix of solar, wind, hydrogen and (especially) geothermal energy. Of course, the problem is that none of these clean, renewable energy sources can be monopolized. That’s why the latent homosexual, oil gangsters don’t want them. I have a practical design in mind for a vertical axis, in-the-hole, geothermal, electricity generator. I will give the design to the first power company that asks me for it at davidhuttner@yahoo.com. All I’ll expect in return is for this company to pay my electric bills for the rest of my life and the life of any surviving spouse. Switching to geothermal energy will end global warming, reinvigorate the world’s economy, enable us to prevent earth quakes and volcanoes, and end the war with the Moslem world. To end the war with the Moslem world, we must also publish my books, books that explain in non-poetic, scientific language what our prehistory and our religions are all about.
By the way, in addition to all the accurate information on 9/11 that you can find if you dig hard enough, I have my own to add. About four months after 9/11, while Osama bin Laden was allegedly the world’s most hunted man, I was listening on my taxi radio to Georgie-Boy Bush’s State of the Union Address. As the stream of lies, half-truths and illusions poured from Georgie’s mouth, I picked up a distinguished elderly gentleman and a young woman at Lincoln Center. They were going to the northeast side. While stopped at the traffic light on 65th and Central Park West, I started laughing at whatever Bush was saying at the time.
The woman in the back seat said, “I take it you don’t like our president either.”
I said, “He belongs in the docks of the ICC, the International Criminal Court, at the Hague.”
Then the elderly gentleman spoke up with, “We couldn’t agree with you more. May I tell you what I know personally?”
“Please do,” I said.
‘I’m a kidney specialist. My friend is the world’s leading kidney specialist. He has the smallest and best renal dialysis machine, a machine that he designed himself. Not long ago, while Osama bin Laden was already on America’s most wanted list, military men came to his apartment in the middle of the night. “Get dressed and come with us,” they said, “and bring your machine.” They flew him to the American Military Hospital in Dubai where he was brought before Osama bin Laden, ordered to examine him and ordered to give Osama his machine. Thereafter, they flew my friend home.’
I told all this to CPUSA the next day, but the socialist countries continue to support the American lies about 9/11.
After the “attack” on 9/11/2001, except for a US Air Force plane that was flying around the country, picking up members of the bin Laden family and flying them safely back to Saudi Arabia, all flights over US airspace were canceled. I had to wait two days to fly to Iceland. I liked Iceland but wasn’t accorded the same privileges that other visiting Americans had. I was not allowed to stay any longer than my return flight ticket date. There was also, at least at that time, a large American military base just outside of Reykjavik. These two facts left me with no doubt that the Americans controlled the place.
Returning to the US, I continued to make unsuccessful attempts to get my books out until I decided to make another attempt at emigration. I decided that I might try either Ireland or Finland. Some of my ancestors were from Ireland, and one of my books was Irish Mythology, Passageway to Prehistory. Several people had been talking up Finland to me as a nice country with beautiful women. I flew to Ireland first. Packed into a suitcase that I brought was a custom-made travel bike. My plan was to cycle around Ireland giving out free CDs of my books. On day two, I left Dublin and cycled south. At day’s end, I stopped in a little town called Carlowe and rented a room at their youth hostel. That night, I was having a beer at their bar with two other guys. The clerk on duty at the time was seated only a few feet away and privy to our conversation. This clerk was a belligerent fellow, built like a fire plug. Now, I am candid and opinionated but not rude. Whatever irreligious comment I made was totally within my right to make. But this fire plug here in Catholic Ireland thought otherwise. He attacked me. He charged at me like a bull. Fortunately, sensing that this guy was crazy, I had surveyed the room, especially the area behind me. I knew that it was packed with extra, wooden tables and chairs. His intent was to crush me between his own body and those wooden tables and chairs. So I reversed him. I swung him around and charged with him in the same direction. His backside absorbed the impact. The fight was over in no time. It left me with a bruised rib, but he had a broken coccyx (tailbone). He couldn’t sit down, as I calmly invited him to do afterward, and had to go to the hospital. I stayed but slept very uneasily that night. The next morning I decided to explore the town before leaving. I had the manager lock my computer in a store room. When I returned to check out, the computer was gone, stolen. The police were perfunctory in making the criminal report. I knew I had to leave Ireland a.s.a.p., so I went straight to the Shannon Airport and bought a ticket for Finland.
Finland and Helsinki were indeed beautiful, but this was February – not the best time of year to be there. As soon as I’d open the hostel door, the snot would start running from my nose and freeze before it hit my upper lip. The cold was to be expected. Tujia was not. She was waiting at the elevator the first time I left my room. She was around forty, chestnut hair and quite beautiful. My intuition told me within seconds of seeing her at the elevator that she had been waiting for me there, that she was a police agent. We walked around the town and had a drink before going back to my room. I had the powerful attraction for her that she feigned for me. I soon sensed that she was the reason I had recently heard so many good things about Finland and its women. She sat on a chair in the middle of the room as I unpacked things.
“Do you want me to suck your cock,” she said.
“Only if you’ll let me reciprocate,” I answered.
After explaining to her what “reciprocate” meant, she screwed up her face and said, “No, I smell.”
“That’s OK,” I continued.
“No,” she insisted. Either she drank an awful lot, or she knew that her job required her to make me like her more than she liked me. Of course I was experienced with and wise to the clumsy, western police agent forms of manipulation. As you’ll soon see, as liars and manipulators, even the craftiest of our women are mere kindergarten kids compared to the Chinese.
Tujia and I spent a day or two together in Helsinki, admiring each other. She told me that she was independently wealthy as a result of having founded a medical business of some sort. I didn’t press her for details because it was an obvious lie. She suggested that we marry and spend the rest of our lives traveling around the world. I’m sure she knew that I knew the truth because she made little effort to support and disguise the lies.
“Does it matter where we make our permanent residence,” I asked?
“Yes,” she said. “We’ll have to make our permanent residence in the U.S.”
Bingo! This gorgeous, latent homosexual, Finnish police agent was under the control of the CIA. I returned to New York without her.
Just imagine how frustrated I was, how sick and tired I was of police agents and the insane efforts of the US government and ruling class to suppress and control my books! It was impossible for me to make any money on my censored work, so I decided to start giving out my books free of charge on CDs to taxi passengers. When I started doing this, in April of 2004, diplomats at the Chinese consulate invited me to come to China “to teach English to nurses.” It shouldn’t be difficult for most of you to imagine what sort of man I was at that time. I had been raised in a typically, dysfunctional American family. I had lived most of my adult life in New York City, where the inequality of opportunity and the insecurity of the male-dominated, K society is as bad as or worse than anywhere. I was twice divorced. I had been surrounded by police agents throughout my adult life. All but two or three of the female ones had been latent homosexuals. Since 1989, the police interference in my life had been intense. I had long ago ceased to believe in lasting love and monogamous marriage, and my book was totally incorrect on these subjects. The Chinese Government, of course, knew all this. But I had yet to learn that, like the American government, the Chinese also wanted to commandeer and edit my books. Whether they want to alter them to support their publically pronounced FR and national socialist prejudices and illusions or to support their new rich K leaders is still open to question. (See Endnotes I and 6 for R and F.)
But when they offered to let me teach English to Shanghai nurses, I said, “Let’s go.”
When I got to Shanghai, less than a month later, my contact person (for whom I had only a phone number) told me, “Sorry, that project fell through. Find yourself another job.”
I had a BA and a law degree but only two days of teaching experience. At a ghetto high school in New York, in an economics class, I had tried to supplement Adam Smith’s praise of the “hidden hand of free competition" with a Marxist description of secret cartel agreements and price fixing. For this, the Land of the Free had branded me as a communist and told me to teach typing or nothing. I had chosen the latter and had laughed through my tears when, only about one year later, the FBI accidentally stumbled upon the Archer Daniels Midland, global grain cartel.
But back in Shanghai, what was I to do? I did what was needed to most quickly land a job. In about a month’s time, I acquired an online TOEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certificate. Once I had that, I was offered a job in Nantong, Jiangsu, a third tier city a couple of hours north of Shanghai.
My first job was at a very ordinary elementary school, but I knew at the back of my mind that they had to have bigger plans for me. I was in no hurry to find out what those plans were. I needed to reconnoiter this strange new land. Everything was different except for the designs of things and technology. Except for the traditional Chinese art, all the designs and technology had been copied from the west. My informed suspicion, of them having bigger plans for me, was confirmed on my first weekend when I strolled behind my dormitory to watch some guys playing soccer on the athletic field.
It was there, behind the dorm, that I met Jacline. Most of what I learned about her and China was learned over an extended period of time by observation, innuendo and insight – almost never by direct disclosure from Chinese people. The Chinese are anything but open, so I’ll have to summarize a huge amount of background information.
Jacline (Xiaoxia is her Chinese name) was born in 1970, into a relatively educated and ambitious family in Jiangsu Province, one of the richest provinces of China. This was the time of the Cultural Revolution. She was a much loved, precocious child. When she was three years old, she was taken to live in a Young Pioneers camp, where she was indoctrinated in Marxism and the national socialist propaganda of the Chinese state.
Unless they are mistreated (and few if any of the Yong Pioneers have been), children at age three are not critical thinkers. They trust whoever feeds and teaches them and will blindly believe whatever they are told. What they are told here is just an extension and intensification of what they already believe as a result of having to learn the absurdly difficult and archaic Chinese language from their mothers. In order to learn the language, they have to glue their ear to mothers’ mouths and memorize the sound of her voice saying every word in Chinese. In order to do this, they almost have to believe that mother is perfect. (See Decoding the Deluge, volume 1, Chapter 13 on east-west differences.) At Young Pioneer’s Camp, they are told that, except for some confused people of historical note, the ancestors too were perfect. The Chinese language and culture are perfect. The government and the Party are perfect. The leaders are perfect, and their directives must be blindly followed and their ways imitated. All of these messages and cronyism instead of socialist democracy (democratic centralism) are welcomed by the Chinese people because this female-dominated society is terrified of change. For love and family life to work well, the woman must not err in choosing her man; and the best way to not err is to not try anything new. Even today, when Chinese people watch television, at least ninety percent of the time, they are watching something set in the Chin Dynasty.
Unfortunately, fearing change as they do means that the Chinese people cannot improve themselves because improvement requires change. All the progress made in China over the past sixty four years is owing to the learning of new western skills and making the corresponding improvements in the material standards of living. Chinese culture and human relations haven’t changed at all. They are thriving in the world not by making themselves better and stronger (the healthy way to compete) but by taking advantage of their rivals’ weaknesses (the neurotic, latent homosexual way to compete).
I don’t know the details of Young Pioneer’s Camp. I’ve heard conflicting stories. I can’t say for certain whether they are just local kindergartens or camps that some of the children travel to and live at. However, even the kindergartens take children as young as age two and last until the start of grade school at age six.
The national socialist indoctrination and emphasis on national unity has not changed. If anything, it has increased; and what was once applied only to fledgling communist party cadres is now applied to all of the people, beginning in their first school or preschool year. What was a nation of backward peasants had to be united as a single person with one will in order to defeat and expel and various imperialist aggressors who invaded and occupied China for roughly one hundred years, from the mid-nineteenth to the mid-twentieth century.
As Decoding the Deluge and my other books have amply explained, the East, especially China, is female dominated. The culture and the people are in every way the opposite of the male-dominated West. The principal institutions, language, customs and religion, were shaped by women and embody female values: love, marriage, family life and social harmony. Upon this base, the other social and political institutions developed accordingly.
China is probably the most conservative society on earth. Women conceive of perfection as infallibility (not making any mistakes) because they have to not err in choosing their man. Of course, there is a trade-off between infallibility and the other aspect of perfection –omnipotence (being all powerful, being able to do everything right). In order to not make any mistakes, one has to avoid trying anything new. The infallible folks don’t discover or invent anything. They couldn’t use their imaginations for anything new even if they tried. Their monstrously difficult and archaic language (Mandarin Chinese) forces them to always be listening, imitating and remembering. These are what I call Learning II skills. They are exactly the opposite of the Learning I skills we need to invent and discover, to create new knowledge. The Chinese language stunts the imagination and creativity of everyone who learns it. What imagination Chinese people do have is wasted on trying to remember the image that each Hànzì character is supposed to represent. In short, China is a nation of 1.4 billion linguists, of people who are extremely good at learning from others but who could not collectively invent the wheel if we spotted them four spokes and a rim. Leaders in China tend to be the people who present themselves as being the most traditional and who most closely imitate the people above them in the political hierarchy or the person who preceded them in office.
The Chinese people are also born liars, consummate liars, past-masters at lying. Their men lie worse than our women do. Put any Chinese person in a liar’s contest with a hundred Jesuit priests and you can lay odds on the former to win –every time! This is because all is fair in love and war and these are the only two modes in which Chinese people operate. They don’t have a fully developed work mode as we do. They don’t have a mode in which they are striving not only to produce but to cooperatively improve upon their science and technology. Science and technology came only with the Westerners, a little over a century and a half ago. Chinese people –all of their propaganda notwithstanding –don’t create any of it, so they don’t value honesty as men must in order to teach each other and learn from each other for the advancement of science and industry. Moreover, as already mentioned, every person here, men included, is robbed of his imagination and creativity by having to learn Chinese. The war mode and preparation for it will continue to be everywhere inevitable until we minimize the K and R class struggle (as I have described it in my other works) by maximizing equal opportunity and population control. The love mode is what this female-dominated society regards as all-important. So don’t ever expect to get the truth from any Chinese person, it doesn’t enter into either of his or her two modes of operating. This will not change until they are ready to (or forced to) replace the Chinese language with the simplest trade and port language (English) and replace their national socialist agenda with the communist internationalist agenda that I’ve been recommending to them.
Young Pioneers’ Camp also teaches a message that experience verifies very early for all Chinese people. By comparing themselves with each other and with weigoren [foreigners]), they learn that they are very different from the rest of us. This awareness of being different also helps to forge their unity. This is especially true when they conclude (as told in school and at Young Pioneers’ Camp) that everything Chinese is perfect and everything foreign is imperfect.
The Chinese government also deliberately augments this unity by adding racism to it. The country’s anthropologists, who are really concerned only with digging up Chinese works of art and using them to promote national pride, are doggedly retaining and teaching the Multiregional Theory of Evolution. This theory, which was rejected in the West over twenty years ago, says that men evolved separately and uniquely in different regions of the world. Chinese people evolved from “Peking Man.” Of course, this is racist nonsense; but it has the effect of raising their unity to a higher power and further alienating them from all weigoren (foreigners). With this background information, you, Dear Reader, are now ready to understand the aborted love story of Jacline and me.
When we met, I was terrified of her. She was fantastically beautiful to me! (She looks like my mother.) She is twenty-two years younger than me, but she seemed very interested in me. I couldn’t believe she could love an ugly old goat like me, and my unconscious mind was already telling me that this was the woman with whom they planned to manipulate me. Her attitude was like that of the office manager and my supervisors. They assumed that I would uncritically adopt all the ways of this new country and become a Chinese man in every way. Maybe the linguists who come to China to learn Chinese do that, but not this cat! I was a social scientist and worldly enough to know that there were no perfect people or perfect places on this planet. I would get to know China slowly. I would not just “Do as the Romans do.” As I told them, the Romans should have done something differently because, “Rome was sacked, burned and its women raped and abducted twice.” Rather than invite controversy and increase the pressure being put upon me, I very deliberately kept mum about my books.
But Jacline had to know about me and my books because her English was excellent; and it was obvious that she had been sent to meet me. She was the pursuer and I was the pursued. When she said that her boyfriend was one of the guys playing soccer on the field in front of us, I knew that she was lying. She was too interested in me for this to be true, but her interest lacked that twinkle in the eye that marks it as physical. I immediately computed what was to be my policy with her for the next eight months, “The boyfriend claim is to provide her with plausible deniability, when, after manipulating you and breaking your heart, she tells you that she never loved you or admits to being homosexual.”
That afternoon, at the first opportunity to speak with him, I told my supervisor and most trusted confidant, “She’s extremely beautiful, but I don’t need a movie star. Please help me to find a woman more my age, a divorced woman.” After months of being terribly lonely and meeting no one of interest, someone recommended that I go online at Yahoo Messenger to find a lover. Under his direction, and I realize now that this was a setup, a divorced woman in Nanjing (the province capitol, two hours away) contacted me. After a couple of online meetings, I traveled one weekend to Nanjing to meet her. A guy spotted me in the crowded bus station and guided me to Alinda. The fact that they weren’t personal friends and that he left immediately after doing his job couldn’t have made things more obvious. This rendezvous with Alinda was a government operation. She and her chaperoning friend were very friendly but reserve. After lunch in a hotel, we went to a big park with a lake, a place not far from the bus station. There she asked me, “Isn’t there some other woman that you love?” My suspicions were confirmed. I was angry. Jacline, her Party and government were manipulating me and making little effort to hide it. I insisted that I “hadn’t touched that woman and didn’t plan to.” They lightly dismissed this statement as the arrogance of a western man who would soon learn to wear the leash and nose ring of a Chinese woman. In retrospect, I can see that my one big mistake with them came at dinner time before leaving. They wanted to know what was unacceptable about Jacline other than her manipulative and controlling ways. Fool that I am, I told them the truth, “She has two “sisters” (female cousins) and only one “brother” (male cousin).
“What’s wrong with that?” they asked.
“People with same sex siblings tend to like oral sex. People with opposite sex siblings tend to like intercourse. I’m of the latter group.” This was a simplistic and crude sounding version of what I really meant: people with same sex siblings and heterosexual role models tend to be latently homosexual and to have personal hang-ups that are unacceptable to me. In any case, they got the message and like the unconscionable savages that they are, they used my honesty and helpfulness against me. They conveyed that message to their superiors who cautioned Jacline that she would have to be very discreet and circumspect in dealing with me. The plan was to get me married to her late in life without knowing the real orientation of the bride (Jacline). That’s why, as you’ll see, they arranged a make-believe wedding between Jacline and “Mr. G.” and why, after the wedding plan fizzled, she disappeared from my life as suddenly as she later did. It is also why they sent Ping to me. You’ll meet Ping below.
For the next eight months I dodged Jacline. She invited me to several places and functions. She was (is) an important person in local government and told me point blank, “I have an important government job.” The title on her card said, “Nantong Economic and Technological Development Area, Project Manager.” I had enough experience to know that this “government job” meant police agent, spy. I also knew that something like ninety percent of the people whose lives are wrapped up in business and government jobs that enable them to humiliate or coerce others are latent (hidden) homosexuals. The fact that Jacline appeared also to still be virginal at 33 years of age increased the likelihood that she had no real interest in men. I refused all but one of her informal invitations and refused to sit with her on a romantic boat ride that followed a government dinner. What was I to do? She was still telling me that her boyfriend was a certain “Mr. G., a judge.” I’m Mr. H and only a lawyer. Even if this wasn’t true, as a westerner and a social scientist, I’ve learned to despise people who lie to me. I’ve learned also to avoid latent homosexuals, especially latent women, who are as useful to a heterosexual man as teats on a bull.
However, I soon discovered that no other women were available to me. Several women pretended to be interested in me, but when I returned their interest and at the point of these relationships becoming physical, these other women all responded, “Isn’t there someone else that you really love?” My social isolation was quite obviously intentional, well organized and systemic.
Then, four months into Jacline’s and my relationship, she phoned me. I recognized her beautiful voice as soon as she said “Hello” and greeted her by name. She told me that she and Mr. G. were getting married and that I was invited to the wedding. I read this to mean that they were playing hardball with me. I knew that the alleged groom, “Mr. G.” was fictitious and would leave Jacline waiting at the altar, but what was the purpose of this game? I didn’t figure it out until penning version two of this little book. One thing I did know even then: I was not a pawn that these schemers were going to manipulate.
Like a good boxer, light on his feet, I skillfully parried the expected blow.
“I’d love to come, Jacline, but I’ll have to bring my girlfriend.” (A thirteen year old student had a crush on me at the time.)
“Oh, no. You have to come by yourself.”
“I can’t do that, Jacline. She would be extremely jealous and upset with me.” This was my alleged excuse for not attending “her wedding.”
Jacline and many other people were furious with me. Apparently, no small amount of money and preparation had already been spent on this farce.
However, in addition to the misgivings already mentioned, it was easy for me to see that this beautiful, thirty-three year old woman was still childless and virginal. I had already been married twice and had deflowered the second wife. I am not a Faustian monster who would want to deflower a second woman and deny another man the opportunity to feel as if he belonged to someone and that someone wanted to belong to him. Worse still, I had also already fathered two children, one that the second wife and I jointly planned and another that she tricked me into conceiving. Having even two children is disgraceful for the author of a comprehensive, new social science that promotes equal opportunity and population control as the answer to all our problems. Fathering more than two children would be unthinkable for someone in my position. The Chinese government in Beijing knew all this about me before they brought me to China. As we’ll see, Jacline knew too and never intended for me to be more than a second and temporary husband to her, a husband whom she’d marry late in his life, who would soon die, leaving his books to her.
I made a point of telling Chinese colleagues that I had been married twice, had two children and deflowered the second wife. For the next four months, I didn’t hear from Jacline; and I became –as I have remained for almost every day of the last nine years --the loneliest man in China.
Then two secret police agents came to my school to meet me. Before getting down to business, they took me to dinner and got me extremely drunk on a local sherry that knocks you out before you know it.
“Look,” they said, “there are very few divorced women here in Nantong and no single women old enough to be interested in you, except Jacline. Either try to patch things up with her or move to Shanghai.”
So I agreed to call her and did. Right away, she started giving me my marching orders, telling me which streets I was not to walk down in Nantong. She also told me to meet her the next Saturday night at a coffee shop.
She was there when I arrived. I tried to kiss her on the cheek as I stepped up to her. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped and shoved me away.
She was furious. We sat there in silence for at least ten or fifteen minutes before I summoned up the courage to say something. “Well, you’re as beautiful as ever; but you don’t look very happy.”
I honestly don’t remember if I completed that statement with its logical conclusion; but we both understood it to be, “What? Is married life not treating you well?”
That made her even more furious. If looks could kill, I’d have been dead. Struggling to find the right words to say, I then said, “I think the party and the government wanted us to marry.”
“Well it’s too late now,” she scowled.
“Well, it’s just as well,” I said with resignation.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, I’m not exactly in my prime.” (I was fifty-five years old at that time, and I’m twenty-two years her senior.)
“You don’t look bad,” she replied.
“Oh, Jacline, they must be crazy to think that a beautiful young woman like you could love an ugly old goat like me!”
Tears started streaming down both sides of her face.
This was both the happiest and one of the scariest moments of my life. I concluded, prematurely, that this beautiful young woman really loved me, and I loved her. But she was absolutely furious with me; and as the old saying goes, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
“This is the worst mistake I’ve ever made,” I said.
She said nothing –just sat there drying her tears. Now we were both extremely relaxed and happy in each other’s company. It must have been another ten or fifteen minutes before I thought of an appropriate thing to say, “Do you want me to dye my hair (from gray to black)?”
“Why?” she asked.
“You know…so I don’t look like your father.”
She shook her head no in answer to this last question, which was to become the joke of the town. As we left the coffee shop, I asked her if she was going to teach me Chinese. (Non-linguists can only learn this language from a mother.) She said she hadn’t decided. I made her promise to meet me again within two days.
She didn’t meet me as promised and refused to answer my calls. I was perplexed.
The very next afternoon, I was reading a book in the luncheonette of the local supermarket when an elderly man and woman walked by me. They each waved and smiled, enthusiastically. I knew that they had to be Jacline’s parents, but they apparently didn’t speak English and rushed off.
Then, on the second morning after our meeting, I went to the noodle shop as usual to have my breakfast before the start of classes. It was 7:30 AM. The shop was packed with people, and everyone was laughing. I hadn’t a clue as to why.
I looked up at the man sitting across from me at my table. He stared back at me and smiled. Suddenly I realized that I was staring into my own face, aged by about thirty years. “Mr. Shen (Jacline’s family name)?” I asked. He nodded yes, knowingly. We shook hands and left the noodle shop like the father and son in law that I hoped we’d become and then went our separate ways.
But since then, I have only seen him twice by coincidence. I haven’t been allowed to see or talk to Jacline at all. For eight years, we have not seen or talked openly and directly to each other. The latent homosexual, government agent, who claims to know all about her and attempts to control me, lies to me constantly and tells me conflicting things. I think Jacline has spoken to me occasionally on the internet –always while pretending to be someone she’s not. (I’ll further describe this routine, below.)
I was induced to go to Beijing and speak with an editor at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. They wanted to buy all the rights to my major book, in perpetuity. I refused to permit this because it appeared to me that they wanted to permanently expunge everything in the book that conflicted with their Marxist and nationalist illusions. Actually, the role of Marxism and Maoism in China has dwindled to mere salutes at party functions, charades for the masses. The Chinese Ks revere Marx and Mao only because their revolutionary fervor enabled Chinese Ks to displace the foreign imperialists. The Chinese cronies who were first in line to buy up state property when, during the Deng Xiaoping era, so many state enterprises were converted to private ones, have become as rich and powerful as the capitalists anywhere. Their excuse for not turning state owned enterprises into corporations, liberally assessing their value and making an IPO of the stock was that they were unfamiliar with these procedures. Of course, both here and in Russia, they could have called in western investment bankers; but that would have attracted more public attention and would have required them to allow weigoren (foreigners) to participate in the plunder. As you’ll see, one of the richest of these families in Nantong has been behind Jacline all along.
Karl Marx was a great man. He took on the role of advocate for the poor. (For the Rs, see Endnote 1.) The Ks had previously developed their political ideology, and it became a very vicious ideology once it was tweaked by the social Darwinists. The Rs desperately needed an advocate. They’ve never been able to pay well, so it was heroic of Marx to take their case. But a lawyer’s job is not to uncover the abstract truth. A lawyer’s job is to win a fight. A good lawyer makes the court believe that his words are coming from the mouth of God, but it just ain’t so. Marx was twenty to thirty percent objective social scientist and seventy to eighty percent advocate/lawyer. His ideology has proven to be what was needed to break the K monopoly on state power, to make the socialist revolution. But his ideology, especially its center piece, his theory of the class struggle, which says that the capitalists (the socially-created, means of production-owning Ks) are the source of all the world’s problems, is one-sided and simply incorrect. I am the objective, social scientist that Marx pretended to be. Please read my other books.
Even as the Ks here continue to fight with their western competitors, they cooperate with each other in censoring the media so as to control and exploit the rest of us. They especially tend to cooperate in oppressing advanced thinkers like myself whose ideas they don’t understand and appreciate. By the way, it is not only their latent homosexuality that prevents them from appreciating the prospect of a Stage II world. Marrying as they do, for money instead of love, even when they don’t have same sex siblings, the fathers fail to become effective role models for their sons and object models for their daughters. Such children become overtly and irreversibly homosexual.
Despite the widespread and common shortcomings of the Ks, the most far-sighted, wealthy and educated individuals must be the leaders of every society. That is necessary and inevitable. What’s not just or necessary is that these leaders be hereditary. They cannot be hereditary if we are to have a population controlled and civilized world. Minimizing the K and R reproductive strategies, maximizing equal opportunity and population control will eliminate K and R injustice. Stage II will prevent the development of persons that are the heartless, latent homosexual monsters that we have now. Return now to my story.
For over eight years, I resisted all attempts of the Chinese Government to manipulate me with women. I say women, plural, because many women have been involved; but the only Chinese woman other than Jacline who was ever serious about me was Ping. Before I tell you about Ping, realize that Chinese law prevents security personnel (spies like Jacline) from marrying foreigners until they retire, and Jacline was only thirty-three years old when she disappeared from my life. She had twenty-two years more before she could retire. Therefore I told everyone that I would NOT wait twenty-two years for Jacline. I started once more to actively look online for a wife. It was during my third year here that I found Ping. Ha! What western male arrogance! She found me. As I was browsing a Chinese dating sight (more about them below), she popped up on the screen. As you should already suspect, this was no accident.
Whenever I gazed at the photo Ping sent me, I thought that she was Jacline, that they were playing a game with me. I know now that the photo was a morph of Jacline’s and Ping’s faces. They were playing a game alright, but it was not the one that I suspected. After meeting this divorced woman twice online with webcams, I went to Pudong Airport in Shanghai to pick her up and take her back to Nantong. She had flown in from Nanning, in the south of China, where she had an eighth grade son. I was surprised to discover that Ping wasn’t Jacline. She spoke almost no English, but I found her very attractive, and the language of love speaks only through the eyes and is universal. She was lean and had my mother’s small eyes, a must for me. Enroute from the airport to the Shanghai North Railway Station, she fed me sunflower seeds and smiled knowingly as she popped them into my mouth. Ah! At last! A heterosexual woman, a keeper, I thought. We kissed passionately in the pedestrian tunnel between the railway station and the Long Distance Bus Station. On the two-hour bus ride to Nantong, it was agony keeping my hands off her hot body. I took Ping to the foreign teachers’ dorm at Nantong Technical College where I was living and teaching at the time. I stopped her from rushing into the apartment in order to carry her, like a bride, over the threshold. Neither of us could wait to tear our clothes off. We made love passionately, relieving what was obviously a long drought for both of us. She stayed for a week. Ping’s voice was not beautiful like Jacline’s, but she loved the sack and was a good cook. I paid for the groceries, and she bought and cooked them. It was a mostly meat diet. Ping knew what she wanted; and she got it, three to five hours per day. We couldn’t get enough of each other. When she left me to return to Nanning and her son, I was crushed. I felt like a fish washed up on the shore and abandoned. In all, she made about three week-long visits to me. I adored her and wanted to marry her but for one problem. I sensed that the government was controlling her. Recall what I said above: the Chinese people are all brainwashed at an early age and united like a single person with one will. Ping and I weren’t mutual lords and bondsmen, masters and slaves, to one another. The Chinese government was coming between us. This suspicion was confirmed on her third visit. We were forced periodically, whenever the bilingual dictionary failed as a communication tool, to call upon a party hack as a translator. On Ping’s third visit, two familiar party hacks showed up simultaneously at our door. It was revealed to me that Ping had had words with one of them that she had withheld from me. They suggested to her that I loved Jacline more than her and would never marry her. Ping turned to look me in the eye and silently ask, “Is this true?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I waited and searched my soul before responding. “Jacline speaks English,” I said. “She can communicate more deeply with me. Yes, I do love her more, Ping; but she has abandoned me. While I don’t trust you enough to legally marry you, I’ll never abandon you – not for Jacline or anyone else. If you’ll stay with me, I’ll be a good and loyal spouse to you and a father to your son. I’ll also provide for you in my will.” (She’s the same age as Jacline, about twenty-two years younger than me.)
I realize now why Ping wouldn’t accept this answer. She couldn’t accept it because the Chinese government wouldn’t accept it. Ping left me for another American man in Nanning who was more devoted to her than I was. The Chinese government had sent her and had taken her away. Only now do I fully see their reasoning: “if he legally marries her, fine. We get control of his books when he dies. If not, we at least confuse Jacline with Ping in his mind and trick him into believing that Jacline is heterosexual, like Ping.”
This, Jacline’s earlier crying act and her father looking just like me worked. They had me believing that Jacline really loved me. To amplify the impact, Peter, one of the two party apparatchiks, told me later that Jacline had been threatening to commit suicide while Ping was with me.
For all of my time in China, they have made my life hell by not allowing me to see or talk to Jacline – the woman whom I believed was my Miss Right. I had to maintain control of my books at least long enough to perfect them and to develop a comprehensive, new social science. Only recently, when the books reached that stage of development and were positioned on the web did I agree to side with the Chinese, to join their party and submit to its discipline provided that they would allow me to influence others, to air my point of view in debate. But by this time, they had come to regard me as an untrustworthy. Moreover, as mentioned above, the arch-conservatism of Chinese women causes them to thwart socialist democratic principles in favor of cronyism because cronyism assures them that nothing will change. The new leaders that are promoted are the ones who best imitate and flatter the previous ones. Chinese leaders (an oxymoron) are, for the most part, appointed and not elected.
Until she hit age forty, Jacline’s job had been to get the rich and highly skilled western men that China needs to come here. She and her colleagues operate dating websites that display the photos of every single and divorced Chinese woman of marriageable age. When a foreigner logs onto one of these sites, Jacline or one of her colleagues talks to him in English, pretending to be the woman whose photo he is enamored with. First they assess him. If the man is rich or skilled enough to be of interest to the Chinese, they try to prepare him for life here. When he is willing and adaptable, they arrange for him to come and meet his Ms. Right. The man is almost always surprised to learn that this woman is not the woman he conversed with and, like Ping, does not speak English. However, the Chinese are the world’s best linguists; so if they are physically suited for each other, she can and usual will learn English quickly.
Face matching software is also, no doubt, used to find the Chinese women who can be used to manipulate and corrupt western investors, technicians and especially politicians. This tactic is supremely successful because there is virtually no love in the male-dominated West. Wherever people are grossly unequal in opportunity and insecure, women wait passively (like the heroines of Jane Austin novels) for offers of marriage and choose that of the richest suitor. And of course, the proposals are almost always from the wrong man. As my friend, Kurt Vonnegut, once said, “We (Americans) are all married to the wrong person.” But we must get back to the main topic: Jacline and I.
As Jacline was hitting forty, I was getting awfully tired of waiting for her. I wanted to find someone else. Even if I couldn’t find someone else, there was no reason for me to stay in Nantong. The weather is horrible. Kunming, the spring city, sounded like a much better place to be. I honestly don’t remember whether going there was my idea or if someone planted it in my mind. In retrospect, I know it was the latter. The schemers had a reason for wanting me to be out of Nantong for one year. So I went there over New Year’s break, lined up a job for the coming academic year and returned in the September. The weather and the spas in Kunming are fabulous. I also enjoyed traveling around Yunnan, a fabulous province for tourism. But toward the end of the school year, a row started over something I said in a class. It was blown completely out of proportion; so much so that I thought that the whole school administration had to be crazy. Only many months later did I realize that this row was a pretext for manipulating me back to Nantong. But when I returned to Nantong, I still wasn’t allowed to see Jacline.
After selling one of my Nantong apartments and using the proceeds to buy an apartment at a resort community at Lake Fuxian, Yunnan, I was one or two hundred thousand rmb short for buying a second one at Lake Fuxian. While looking for a mortgage loan, I learned from a Chinese English teacher that Jacline had married someone else and had his baby. I had heard some rumors to that effect; but because Chinese people lie and manipulate so continually, I couldn’t be sure if they were true. I couldn’t believe the rumors until I noticed that Helen Zhou was pregnant. Helen is a domestic police agent like Jacline, but one whose job is to manage the moonlighting activities of foreign English teachers. Helen is very close to her married sister and once admitted to me that she’s never had any desire for a man. Despite all Helen’s consistent claims to not know Jacline, I have always assumed that these two, educated and smart women, both of them party members of the same age and having lived less than one mile apart, were close friends. When I saw that Helen was pregnant I realized that the rumors about Jacline were true, and I was furious for having been manipulated and fooled by these schemers. Helen told me that her (Helen’s) husband was living and working in Canada. He’s from her home town. The marriage, she said, had been arranged by the families. She added that she had no love for this man but wanted (as did her family) a baby. I immediately resolved to leave China and started making my preparations. The male security agent, Peter, an apparatchik and the usual go-between between me and the government, bent over backwards to assure me that Jacline loved me and could not bear to have me leave. How could all this be possible? How could she love me and do as Helen had done -- give her virginity to and have a baby by another man? Well, that’s how I figured it out – latent homosexual, domestic spies, like Jacline and Helen, who are still virgins at forty or forty-one years of age, become compensation virgins for young male spies going to study and work in the West, especially the US where the male spies are unlikely to find a virginal woman.
The most successful, Chinese, male spies, who have no Chinese contacts and become or are to become trusted by marrying western (non-virginal and especially USA) women get to have one of these compensation virgins. They are the Chinese counterpart of the infamous, Japanese comfort women of WWII. Again, at forty or forty-one years of age, female spies who are still virgins, as Jacline and Helen were until recently, give their virginity to and also have babies by these young men. The young man is usually from the woman’s home town. That way both sets of grandparents can stay close to and help raise the child. The children thus born are raised and influenced heavily by their mothers and the Chinese Government for their first seven years of life. This insures that they will be stamped out with the same cookie cutter as other Learning I disabled, Learning II enabled, national socialist (nazi), Marxist and brainwashed Chinese people. These children, who come from the families of spies on both sides, are especially likely to become excellent spies themselves.
But there aren’t enough virginal, domestic spies like Jacline and Helen to serve as compensation virgins for all the young male spies going to the west. According to numerous Internet sources, the number of Chinese students studying in US universities and colleges jumped 21.4 percent in the 2012-13 academic year to over 235,000. More than half of these students are young men, so how do the Chinese provide virgins for all of them? Simple: the students going abroad marry each other in secret. They go to the same local but separately and pretending to be single. That is exactly what Li Zhou did back in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I spotted a Chinese man one day who had to have been spying on us. Although they pretended not to know one another, this man was Li’s jealous husband.
Many of the best and most successful spies also pretend that they have suffered a falling out at home. This is always just a story. They are totally unified and uniformly patriotic. The “Chinese Dream” is a national socialist one and is the same for everyone: bring glory to the Chinese nation and state. The Chinese language, their history of suffering at the hands of violent, western barbarians and the brainwashing that they all undergo –especially during the earliest years – guarantees this unity.
To make a long story short, the Peoples Republic of China is presently not a communist country but a national socialist country. The Chinese are the world’s most successful gangster group because they are the largest and most unified gangster group in a world of competing gangsters. All other nations are on a path to extinction. You will all be defeated, bought out, impoverished and left to perish by the Chinese –unless you do a better job of minimizing the K and R class struggle than they have and make love much more possible within your societies.
Of course, it will help you in the short run to deport all of the people who are or ever were Chinese citizens and to boycott all trade with and travel between China. Scrutinize the translated NSA transcripts of all dialogs in Chinese. Wherever a conversation appears to involve code, assume that the participants are spies. But in order to undertake these drastic measures, you will have to admit to the world what Faustian monsters your K class men are and how loveless your societies are. Making this admission, even to yourselves, is virtually synonymous with undergoing the revolutionary changes necessary to correct the situation. You may as well do the right thing and the sooner the better.
Again, you won’t be successful in doing these things or in competing with the Chinese –in the long run –unless you create a society that is better and more unified than theirs. You must be better not only in the ways that you are already better (in science and technology) but also in creating equal opportunity and population control. Doing this is equivalent to basing your society on rational law instead of violence, lies and thievery and empowering women to be the masters of marriage and family life. Of course, to make any fundamental changes anywhere, we will have to start to change latent homosexual people. As George Orwell perceived, these people who are unable to love are ever more thoroughly monopolizing wealth and power. In order for them to not fight change and have some incentive for improving our world, we must make them feel that they have permission to love the people they want to love. Unable to change themselves and afraid of change in general, they presently only pretend to support social progress by addressing only the symptoms of our problems and not the problems per se.
One or two weeks after seeing through the compensation virgins program, my unconscious mind computed who Jacline’s husband and mate was. Vincent (Wentao) Chu, one of my students from Nantong Middle School had met with me, allegedly for English tutoring, and had asked me personal questions about my love life and plans. I recalled that he had been extremely uneasy. I also concluded from things I’d heard about “some rich student of mine” that Vincent was this student and Jacline’s husband. He also looks a bit like me and her father. However, at this point, I did not know exactly how rich Vincent’s family is. “Ok,” I told them, “Since I couldn’t or wouldn’t have my vasectomy undone and agree to have a child by her, it was her right to have one by someone else. I accept that.”
“However,” I insisted, “I want to raise that child as its father. The biological father is in the west, and the child will inevitably become an inveterate (“butch”) homosexual if it doesn’t have a father whom the mother loves. I will never accept a child of that nature because it would tell the world that I was ineffective as a father.”
Their response was to say nothing. I demanded to either meet Jacline and the child within one week or never. Fortunately, the school year was about to end; and when they refused to meet my demands, I took a very costly, standby flight back to the US. I had to fear that they would stop me. I knew too much. I had another, tragic reason for having to go back to NYC at this time. My first ex-wife and dear friend of thirty-seven years had died. I had to attend Beatrice’s funeral. To ease their anxiety, before leaving I gave them an improved algorithm for Finding Mr/Ms Right software. All of you may see it too. It’s in this last endnote.
Going back also meant that I got to see my children, children who have been raised by the US government and entirely brainwashed by the Ks of the USA. This was a bittersweet experience, but I did manage to write two very good screenplays (Corey and Genesis I) in the month of July while in Manhattan.
On the way back to Manhattan, I stopped at Langley, Virginia to meet with the CIA. Now remember: I was able to figure everything out about Chinese spying operations due to Jacline’s feigned love for me and/or her government’s determination to use her to gain control of my books and their reluctance to let me go. I have never worked for them (other than as an English teacher or when pressured to edit journal articles as described below). Neither did I ever join their party. I had no moral obligation not to divulge what I had learned about them other than the obligation to not help the western, male-dominated Ks to whatever extent they should be deemed more culpable then their adversaries. I had already written and published a book that gave strategic advice to the west. I told them in Just Say No to Latent Homosexual Crusades everything they needed to know except the dirty, Chinese details. I would gladly have worked for the CIA if they had been willing to meet two conditions: first, show a willingness to improve their society as described above and in my other books. I repeated to the CIA, point blank at their visitors’ center, why the west cannot compete with China and why western people are on the path to extinction. The CIA’s answer was, “We don’t have any problems. You’re crazy.” We never really reached the second condition, which was that they pay me exorbitantly for the persecution and civil rights abuses that I suffered continuously over a thirty year period in my native land.
I am actually neutral in what most people believe is a struggle between owners and non-owners of means of production. As explained in Endnote 1, that is not what the class struggle is really about. It’s about K and R, and it is a struggle that cannot be won.
So, at this point, I knew that I would not be able to work with the CIA and that the west was doomed to follow its suicide course. I still loved Jacline and believed that she loved me. But I could divine only one reason for them withholding her child from me: the Chinese government wants to brainwash the child and turn it into a nazi so that, assuming the child inherits my books, the government will be able to gain editorial control of them. I estimated that if this were the only reason for them to be withholding the child, then my persuasive ability and Jacline’s love for me ought to be able to overcome it. So I returned to China and Nantong.
I wasn’t back for long when they dropped another bomb on me. Helen Zhou told me, “You know, in China, it is customary for the woman to always be regarded as a member of her ex-husband’s family, even in the event of a divorce.” I promptly told her that this despicable custom was indicative of how oppressed, demoralized and feckless Chinese men are. That custom, when practiced, is an insult to both the former husband and the new one. As soon as Helen demonstrated her resolve to carry out that custom by having dinner with her Canadian husband’s relatives and at a time when she was renouncing her desire to ever see him again, I told her and her family that I was so mortified by their behavior that I would have no more to do with them as a family. I even walked out on this dinner that I had been invited to. Next, I made it clear in letters to Jacline’s friends that either not letting me raise the child –and soon – or her having anything to do with Vincent’s family were each deal-killers for us. Little did I know at this time that these two unacceptable insults were connected!
On the eighth and ninth of November, a little more than three months after returning from New York, I reiterated my demand that either I raise Jacline’s child or they allow me to sell my two houses, leave Nantong and marry someone else. They are not allowing me to sell my Nantong house. They waited till the last moment to renew my ninety day visa. At that time, I had the required medical checkup; and the new employer, an English training center, submitted the visa documents. The head doctor at the clinic is a friend of mine. They rushed me through checkup procedures. They had me return four hours later (after the urine and blood samples were analyzed) to pick up the summary of the results. I was told that I was fine. That night, I twice reiterated my demands that either they let me father that child or let me go. The next night, another party apparatchik sent me a message saying that he wanted to talk to me about that situation. The next morning, I sent one of Jacline’s friends a short text message saying that the issue was not negotiable, that I would not live under the same roof with the nazi child that the government was determined to create. (I suspected that they feared that without the child as a brainwashed “minder,” Jacline and I might someday go to the West and pose a security risk.) More specifically, I said to two of Jacline’s friends, “I can see only two possible reasons for not being allowed to raise that child. Either Jacline doesn’t really love me, or the government is determined to make a nazi out of the child.” Several hours later, I received a phone call from my employer telling me to report to the communicable disease center because I “have a communicable disease that may require me to be isolated.” Had there been anything wrong with me, they would have told me two days earlier. I knew I was fine. I jog five km every day, eat well and sleep well. This could only mean that they now wanted to either kill me or lock me permanently away. That threat upon my life or liberty is what forced me to divulge this information. I had to expose the dirtiest details of Chinese spying in order to save my own life or liberty. I have been forced by them to help the West, just as the US government once drove me into their arms (by destroying my family, censoring my books and websites and stealing my right to practice law).
I quickly drove to the homes and workplaces of the westerners I knew, going first to the one that I knew to be an American spy. In all, I talked to seven westerners before going online and emailing an earlier version of this little book to former friends in the CIA and the publisher of the New York Times.
Now the tables were turned. It was their turn to wonder, sweat and worry. My employer had the audacity to make one more veiled threat about, “What the Chinese government might do to me.” I smiled calmly and told her, “My people are very violent, and there will be many of them who will want to round up and kill all of your spies, even the best insinuated ones. You had better damn well hope that nothing unfortunate happens to me because that will just give them an excuse to act upon their instincts.”
Since telling them this, I have been treated once more to the red carpet, just like foreign communist party members are all treated when they visit China and stroll through Potemkin Villages where all the nazis have donned their communist masks. Poor Peter, the security guy who usually serves as the go between, between the government and me, appears to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and a hacking cold. When I bought us dinner the other night, he gulped down his beer as I’d never seen him do before. As you might expect, me letting the cat out of the bag has also put a crimp in Helen’s plans. Now she reports that she is eager to go to Canada to be with the husband that she “loves and misses so much.”
As I’ve continued to insist upon them letting me sell the house and leave, they sent Peter to me on an unprecedentedly open and straightforward mission. As usual, he asked me to meet with him at the Wen Feng Hotel. This is a four star, garden hotel near the center of the city. Peter and I have played ping pong or lifted weights there countless times. He told me that his friend is the manager. When I arrived, he led me to our usual alcove near the front window. He was struggling for words. I know now that he wears a wire when he’s with me there and that the place is full of listening devices. The person or persons listening and communicating with him this time on the wire were apparently old and not able to hear well. He hustled us to a table at the back of the room and next to the rear window. The next meaningful thing to come out of Peter’s mouth was, “This used to be a state-owned hotel before it was sold and made private.”
“Oh,” I said, “Who owns it now?”
“Mr. Chu.”
So, Vincent’s family is not just well to do. It seems that they own half the town and are one of if not the richest of families. I have learned that in his early days, Chu senior owned a restaurant across the street from a government center. This enabled him to become a crony of other latent homosexuals, politicians, who would be holding the public purse strings at privatization time. Chu and other politicians and their cronies were able to plunder the public as my father and the thieves of normal times are only able to dream of.
Of course, all those state owned companies should have been IPO’d. But that wouldn’t have stopped Chu and latent homosexuals like him from rising to the top in business and politics. Wherever we have a savage K and R society and same sex siblings being born to heterosexual role models, those children will grow up with homosexual desires that they feel compelled to hide and frustrate. Unable to love and accept themselves as they are, these latent homosexual individuals will always be unhappy, always be fighting, always be trying to humiliate or take advantage of others through deception, intrigue and treachery (lying, cheating and stealing). Latent homosexuals, as long as they exist, will always be creating problems for everyone else, especially in politics and business, the spheres to which they are drawn like metal filings to a magnet. We must prevent people from growing up with this problem. If you can’t see this, read George Orwell’s 1984 again!
You might reply, “Then where, Dave, would we get people to fill the most difficult jobs such as policeman, fire fighter, soldier and construction worker?”
The answer requires some imagination on your part. Stop for a moment to ponder it. Here it is: in a civilized world, wherein K and R were minimized (equal opportunity and population control maximized), we wouldn’t have one tenth of the problems we have, problems that create such a huge demand for these sorts of public servants and workers. Neither would their working conditions and the dangers facing them be anywhere near as severe as they are.
Of course, we should minimize all of the conflicts posed by sexual orientation differences by organizing ourselves to become of one and only one sexual orientation. Obviously it can’t be homosexual, or our species would die out. We have to adopt my Stage II system of marriage and child rearing not only to make everyone heterosexual and eliminate sexual-orientation related problems but also to empower women within the family. The Stage II empowerment of women within the family is especially necessary so as to offset the tremendous impetus to learning and the empowerment to men that is provided by the simplest and universally needed trade and port language, English. But now we have strayed too far from Nantong and the spy I loved.
Obviously, Jacline is a gold digger. Although I haven’t been allowed to see or speak to her in eight years, her portrait is now complete. It was planned for her to marry Vincent when he graduated from high school and before going abroad. Me being a foreigner meant that Jacline, a security person, is forbidden by law from marrying me until she retires. This also gave them an excuse for not letting me even see or talk to Vincent’s wife until I’m seventy years old or more. Only then would she legally marry me, in time to inherit my books before I die. Being jilted at the altar by “Mr. G.” was designed to provide Jacline with an excuse for not being a virgin when, many years later, I was to legally marry this woman who would appear to be, like myself, long celibate and suffering. No doubt they originally thought that I would never know about Vincent. The fact that they expected to keep Jacline’s real husband and inlaws a secret from me for fifteen years, shows how united these nazis are. But when I saw that “Mr. G.” was fictitious, they had to be more forthcoming.
Well, recall that right from Day One, I knew that Jacline working as she did meant that there was a ninety percent chance of her being latently homosexual. Her crying scene at the coffee shop (when I suggested that she couldn’t possibly love me), her father looking exactly like me only twenty-nine years older and her association with Ping confused me. For all these reasons, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I assumed that she was one of the exceptional ten percent. But ninety or more percent of the gold-diggers are also latent homosexuals. Ninety percent of ten percent means that she has only a one percent likelihood of being straight (of not being latently homosexual). But the Chu family, while adoring and wanting to monopolize her child and wanting to retain her as a business partner and family member, is eager to pawn her off on another husband. That can only mean that Vincent doesn’t want her because she’s no good for intercourse. There goes her last one percent chance of being heterosexual.
As I stated in Just Say No to Latent Homosexual Crusades, latent homosexuals are compulsive liars and trouble-makers. Not being able to accept themselves causes them to constantly lie and make trouble for others. They tend to be the most successful politicians and business people. Jacline may truly believe that she loves me. I am a younger, dead ringer for her elderly father. But obviously she didn’t love him enough and cannot love any man. She loves one of her two, female cousins whom I’ve never been allowed to see and whom she regards as her sister. As most latent homosexuals, she has no conception of romantic love as mutual lordship and bondage, as two people struggling to become one. For latent homosexuals, a marriage partner is just a breeding partner, a trophy and a co-star in a public play. Latent homosexuals (especially police agents) often destroy other people’s marriages and love lives without even realizing that they’re doing it. They have no understanding of what love is! They often crash into other peoples’ relationships by fantasizing about having a threesome. Threesomes are ideal for latent homosexual women or latent homosexual men if they can find an opposite sex heterosexual dumb enough to front for them. One of Jacline’s female friends once suggested that the three of us do this. (Notice, again, that I don’t reveal this friend’s identity. I don’t reveal embarrassing information that was offered to me in good faith.) Most Chinese women dominate their man, but not as Jacline tried to dominate me, not to the point of having no respect for the man’s interests and feelings. She and the Chu family deserve each other. I am somewhat familiar with the wheels of fortune and the sleazy folks who oil them. I had a latent homosexual father and drove a New York City taxi for twenty-seven years. (The police would not permit me to do much else.) Many of the richest people in the world, people who live on the northeast side of Manhattan, were my bread and butter customers. They are overwhelmingly latent homosexuals who are unable to love and marry for money. Bored with their meaningless lives, they’re like the fashionable society folks at the races in George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion (My Fair Lady, in the movie version).
The Chu family did me a favor by unmasking Jacline before I made another mistake, before I entered into another bad marriage. I was a fool. It took me almost ten years to learn the truth. But in the process, I have learned all about China and written some more dynamite books and screenplays. It was a most difficult, lonely and heart-breaking ten years; but the truth has set me free.
To, hopefully, set you free, there are two more things that I must share with you about China. First, and as you should expect, all vital statistics are kept by the Chinese government record office in each local. This office also monopolizes the notary service. They falsify or delete records as required by Chinese intelligence operations. The same is true of the Chinese patent office. “Chinese patent” is a second oxymoron. I have been pressured, as I’m sure other competent English teachers are pressured, to edit scientific journal articles written in English and attributed to “Chinese scientists” (a third oxymoron). Chinese PhD candidates are not required to do any original research, only to know the literature in their field. Chinese “researchers” (a fourth oxymoron) are people who comb the Internet and foreign journals for information.
Secondly, with over 235,597 dedicated and loyal spies in the USA alone, which includes all of their students studying in the USA in 2013, the Chinese are now able to use only chump change from their vast foreign trade reserves to finance and control important elections in the USA. That can be and probably is done through well-organized, laundered, Internet contributions.
The bottom line for all intelligent people of good will, the political truth that will set you politically free is as follows. The people of the United States have been opportunistic and easily and stupidly brainwashed into supporting the male-dominated Ks of their country, into using violence to steal the resources and violate the sovereignty of people everywhere. But their nationalism is only skin deep. When I explain to my countrymen that what communism really means is “uniting humanity into one virtual and loving family,” they are almost unanimous in replying, “Oh, I’m for that!” When I say the same thing to Chinese people, most are afraid or ashamed to respond to me openly. Even those who don’t vocalize their response show it on their faces, and it is almost always the same: “Gee, I’m not sure about those foreigners.” The female-dominated, Chinese Rs are nonviolent but compulsive liars, tricksters and nazis. Ideally, we should learn from each other and thus correct our respective problems. But as I stated in Just Say No to Latent Homosexual Crusades, the worlds of big business, politics and espionage are everywhere dominated by latent homosexuals.
Latent homosexuals are similar to religious fundamentalists, people who believe literally in religious myths and rituals, in one important way. The minds of the fundamentalists are trapped within a little box and they can’t think out of the box. The hearts of latent homosexuals are in an emotional little box in which there is no love. They relish and need conflict and dirty games of every sort. They would rather fight than cooperate because they cannot change themselves, are afraid of change in general and need an external conflict to mask their inner conflict. Latent homosexuals also cannot change because they can’t be honest about themselves, which is prerequisite for the most important changes in our lives. Again, we must change them by making them feel they have permission to love the people they want to love. Without love, they are motivated only by fear, and fear fashions nothing of lasting value.
We may also still have to use Public Enemy #2 to defeat Public Enemy #1. We may also still have to use China to defeat American imperialism and put an end to the wholesale and global theft of resources. As soon as that is accomplished, as soon as we transform or replace the present US government and convert melting pot, male and K dominated America into the country that can and must lead us in uniting the world into one virtual and loving (i.e. communist) country and family, we must deal swiftly and decisively with Public Enemy #2. We must put an end to the Chinese language, Chinese National Socialism and the wholesale and global theft of technology. This will probably require us to totally isolate these people until they agree (at the very least) to abolish their languages in favor of English.
The turning point in civilizing the world will be codifying and enacting the laws needed to minimize K and R (to maximize equal opportunity and population control). To accomplish this, we must educate people with the information that is in my books. The American government has made a show of allowing their hardcopy publication at Amazon.com and their digital publication at Smashwords.com. But up to now, it is just a show, a child-like pretention. That’s why you have my permission to copy and distribute this publication royalty free. Give it out to the most intelligent and well-intentioned people you know.
In the hope that it might make my life a bit more tolerable and get the police agents and other latent homosexuals off my back, I now declare this book and the other social science books listed on page one TO BE IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN. Anyone may publish these works royalty free provided that he does not make unauthorized alterations to them.
Finally, at the present stage in our development, global communications and social science being as good as they are, non-English languages serve only negative purposes. They foster nationalism, separatism and prejudice; and they, especially Mandarin, facilitate espionage. Although the Five Eyes Agreement, the recently divulged, secret agreement between the US, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand to share intelligence, has been roundly denounced as prejudicial and intrusive, it has the above, strong argument in its own defense.
Pursuant to this important need to replace all the other languages with the world’s simplest trade and port language (except in a few towns where the most difficult languages should be maintained as military codes in the most unlikely event of the invasion of aliens from other planets), I have produced another publication, Converting the World to English. This publication is sold at cost and available at Amazon.com and Smashwords.com.
Oh! There is one more thing that must be said before I let you go. As I admitted above, I lied to you about “George” in my previous work, Just Say No to Latent Homosexual Crusades. I had to. I haven’t made contact with any aliens, and neither has American or Chinese intelligence. If they had, my books would have soon thereafter been plastered all over the front windows and web pages of bookstores everywhere.
But astrophysicists and geologists have discovered a truth requiring us to fear what’s-out-there more than ever. Four hundred and forty million years ago, almost all life on this planet was snuffed out by gamma ray radiation that came from a supernova, the death of a star that was approximately 6,000 light-years away. Apparently, supernova explosions and the subsequent gamma ray bursts routinely kill life wherever it evolves, and this explains why we still haven’t found any extra-terrestrial life. In order to maximize our chances of preserving life on this planet, we have to maximize our cooperation and our pace of evolutionary progress. That’s what the books and policies of Dr. Truthen will enable us to do.
Sincerely,
David R. Huttner

Endnotes
Stage II will put girls through an intensive course in health and safety, marriage and family life, starting at three and one half years of age. At age four, Stage II will use baby-face-generating software and finding-Mr.-Right software (an enhancement of face matching software that is described in Endnote Viii) to match up each girl with the new-born baby boy who will look the most like her father. At age four, she will become the wife and mother of that baby boy. This system of marriage and child rearing will enable everyone to enjoy heterosexual love with the perfect partner, eliminate divorce, promiscuity, sexual deviance, violent crime and the Oedipus and Electra complexes. (The latter are Freud’s names for the contradictions owing to the fact that, in savage society, boys grow up being reared by and loving another man’s wife. Girls grow up being reared by and loving another woman’s husband.) Stage II will also enable us to empower women within the family as never before – even without the control of an archaic language as Chinese. Finally, Stage II will enable us to make gifted persons of all the girls and geniuses of the boys.
The Ks are the people on top with respect to income, wealth and education. They rely on the K, quality reproductive strategy. Like the large mammals, they have relatively few offspring but equip and train them well. Virtually all of their offspring survive long enough to reproduce the parents’ genes. The people on the bottom with respect to income, wealth and education do as the small animals and the insects. They rely on the R, quantity strategy. They have many children, but each of their ill-prepared offspring is less likely to thrive and reproduce their parents’ genes. These two extreme strategies, K and R, are inseparably connected. They cause each other and are what the class struggle is really about. That’s why the class struggle can never be won. It can only be minimized by maximizing equal opportunity (to minimize K) and population control (to minimize R). Because all of our problems are just symptoms primarily of K and R, none of our problems can be solved – nor can we have a civilized and sustainable world – until we do this.
The serenity prayer says: Oh Lord, help me to have the courage to change what I can change, the forbearance to forebear what I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. You can always change yourself by improving your own mind.
What do you have when you have a bus load of lawyers going over a cliff with one seat in the bus empty? Answer: a waste of resources. What do you have when you have a thousand lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean floor? Answer: a damn good start. How do you know when a lawyer is lying? Answer: his lips are moving. I could write a book full of these, but somebody has already done it.
“Freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much.
That would be a mere shadow of freedom.
The test of its substance is the right to differ
as to things that touch the heart of the existing order." – Justice Robert Houghton Jackson in West Virginia State Board of Education vs. Barnette, 1943.
By the way, while censoring screenplays such as the ones I write, the secret police distort others and produce some of their own. All this is necessary so as to perfect the brainwashing of the public. One movie that the US police agents obviously had a big hand in was Conspiracy Theory, a movie that starred Mel Gibson. The story line is as follows. Mel, a taxi driver like me, is an extremely paranoid person who sees conspiracies in everything. His illusions turn out to be the result of having been an unknowing victim, a guinea pig, in a CIA experiment with hallucinogenic drugs. The CIA halted this ill-conceived and criminal experiment long ago but didn’t inform or compensate the victims as justice would require. Mel had to gradually recover his mental health and fight single-handedly for his restitution.
Now, the intended purpose and overall effect of this pernicious film was to convince the gullible and ignorant American public that the US intelligence community (with a $400,000,000,000 annual budget) and the many well-funded lobbies that operate perennially and 24/7 in Washington D.C. and all the state capitols are not doing anything in private that is opposed to John Q. Public’s interests. The idiots who believe this stamp all of us who tell them otherwise as “conspiracy theorists” and dismiss whatever we say or write.
My invariable response to these parrot-talking geniuses is to tell them the following: in our savage, K and R world, it is absolutely inevitable that whenever people meet regularly and privately, they will automatically ferret out their common interests, identify the individuals and social forces opposing or hindering those interests and scheme to defeat, eliminate or neutralize these opponents. That is why we call any group that meets privately and regularly……………………….. a club.
By the way, later in his career, Mel redeemed himself. He starred in or made several great movies, such as Braveheart, The Edge of Darkness and Apocalypto. The subject material for Apocalyto was entirely accurate and appears to have been lifted entirely from my Decoding the Deluge, Volume 2, Chapter 35, México Sangriento (Bloody Mexico). The movie deserved a much better reception than what it got from a public raised on Disney. I admire Mel.
Here “m” and “f” stand for male-dominated and female-dominated, respectively.
Any “face matching” software currently in existence most certainly is based upon the algorithm for face recognition software. The face recognition algorithm imputes equal value to every facial characteristic and thereby omits the all-important subjective aspect of beauty. What we most value as beautiful is the feature of the opposite sex parent that is most anomalous or statistically abnormal. The feature that we value second most is the second most anomalous feature of that parent, etc. Therefore, the algorithm for selecting from a massive database of photos the photo that the subject person will find most attractive is as follows:
1) For every record (person), have a frontal and at least one side profile photo. Map the facial detection points on these photos.
2) Measure and calculate at least 50 (preferably one to two hundred) index values, the same ones, for every record. For example, one index value would be the length of the head from chin to crown divided by the breath of the head from cheek bone to cheek bone. Another index value would be the length of the nose divided by distance between the upper lip and where the lower nose attaches to the face. Angles would also be indices. Save the database of these absolute values, as they will have to be periodically recalculated as new records are added to the database.
3) Calculate the average and the standard deviation for each index.
4) Make (2N)! folders, where N is the number of indices measured and calculated, and each folder name is a different sequence of positive or negative indices. A positive index is one in which the index values are larger than the average or the angle is in one direction. Negative index values are those for proportions smaller than the average or angles in the opposite direction. For example, two folders with exactly the same sequence of positive and negative indices have to exist as two folders because the last index value is positive for one folder and negative for the other.
5) Convert each record’s index values into its standard deviations (+ or -) for these values.
6) Describe each record (person) by that sequence of index values that orders them from his highest to his lowest absolute standard deviation.
7) Store each record, so described, in the corresponding folder.
8) Follow the same procedure in describing and storing the record for the subject –or better still –for his or her opposite sex parent.
9) The subject’s Mr. or Ms. Right will be in the same folder, one or two records above the subject (or the subject’s opposite sex parent).
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Noori posted for gay readers to the GERMANY country page on 06/12/2013 tagged with at the work place
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kanchana (user currently living in SRI LANKA) posted for lesbian bisexual readers to the SRI LANKA country page on 01/12/2013 tagged with at the work place +10
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Romy VVodka (user currently living in BELGIUM) posted for gay readers to the BELGIUM country page on 25/11/2013 tagged with tourism, at the work place
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I was walking on de street and I saw a gay man kissing another, I said "It's not possible" because I never learned about this. In my country, everyone hides because everyone kills eachother. They say "I'm gonna kill you". We love men though, but we are not "gay".We are army.
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Romy (user currently living in BELGIUM) posted for gay readers to the BELGIUM country page on 25/11/2013 tagged with at the work place, teaching lgbt rights in schools, sexual orientation, armed forces, religion, illegality of male to male relationships +10
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I was in class, my teacher tought us about gay then suddenly a fairy gave us a mushroom and we ate it. All of sudden we saw black gay people everywhere and some russian guy shot us all. Please help me i want to ban all shrooms from the world and make them illegal, mushrooms make russians kill gay people
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Lee (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for lesbian bisexual readers to the SOUTH AFRICA country page on 04/10/2013 tagged with tourism, intersex, at the work place, adoption, illegality of female to female relationships
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Hi all!! I have been fighting a lonely battle for quite some time!! I always thought I was just going through a jolling faze and just exploring and then to discover I'm 100%!! Bisexual!! I can not choose between male or female but to just follow my heart, feelings and attraction to another!! I met the love of my life at age 22!! And royally messed that up cuz was too young to know how to deal with it all properly! Moved to jhb from durbs for this girl! It's about 2 years later and I'm still dwelling in the past as I don't have a reason to move forward! I don't hang out with any people that are like me so I do not get to meet new people! I am at a point where I am quite depressed about this as I am dying to fall in love again and give it my all in a relationship again and do things right! Please can someone give me some advice or point me in the right direction!?
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Linden Shillingford (user currently living in DOMINICA) posted for gay readers to the DOMINICA country page on 27/09/2013 tagged with at the work place, teaching lgbt rights in schools, hate crime and violence prevention
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EDITOR’S NOTE: Living with discrimination is not easy but for Linden Shillingford it is a part of his life.

He told his story at a youth symposium on Tuesday afternoon. The event was a collaborative effort between the United Nations Youth Development Program through the Caribbean Youth Think Tank (CYTT) and the National Youth Council.

Below is Shillingford’s full presentation.

My life consists of discrimination.

Born on 13th March 1993, I am an individual who has been through a lot and still continue to go through as a young person in society.

My name is Linden Shillingford, better known as Mafysel Beltro to the Dominican public.

Discrimination is wrong and as I continue speaking about my situation you will see its disadvantages and advantages. In 1999 at the age of six I was touched by my neighbor. In 2001, at age eight, I questioned my sexuality. In 2003 I was touched by a bus driver. I continued my journey for we all consider life to be. In 2006 I started high school and was bullied a lot in my class, from being called names to papers and other objects being thrown at me.

I then developed an anger that could be considered a hurricane, which I used to stand up for myself after which class mates began to respect me.

In 2009 January 31st I was sexually assaulted by a security guard. I felt like I was cursed or had a spell on me because I was already touched at a tender age.

However I never told no one about this particular incident until it was reported in February by someone who had overseen the act of the guard. At the time I felt that it was too much to handle and I confirmed it was true to the school principle in the presence of my mom and step dad.

The principal discussed this among her staff and then I realized that the staff told students and then the situation got worst. The matter was then taken to the police headquarters and up till this day I never heard anything about the court case although I went to the court on two occasions. My life became sour after the students found out. I was not only the talk of the class or the school, I was the talk of the town

A lot of people threatened me and promised my death. Up until this day I still get the statement thrown at me. That February (2009) I dropped out of school for I couldn’t handle the pressure. I stayed home until April where I started another secondary school for five days.

I was the most popular student until the 5th day when I waited at the school gate. Upon reaching the gate I heard a lot of students saying “look him, all you look him.”

I then understood that they heard the story about the security and then began to act like the students of my old school.

I ran out of the school yard with tears in my eyes. As I took the first bus out, I cried all the way to my house. I never returned to school after the first week. I was truly feeling like giving up I later on in November of that year, I started classes at the Adolescents Skills Training Center.

The story of the guard reoccurred and this time I made up my mind to stand my ground. I was teased a lot but it only lasted for a while.

In 2011 I was homeless for about one month after being put out by my sister’s father who said that he does not want any “chicchy man” in his house.

I stayed everywhere from (Botanic) Gardens to Peebles Bark and the Bayfront.

I went to the welfare office, however I was discriminated against by one of the mcouncilors and one of the big shots who said, “You’re a shillingford you can’t be homeless.” Does it take a person’s surname to determine their homelessness? If so, what a society do we live in?

With nowhere to go and no one to turn to because I’m gay made me feel less than a human though at the time I felt no different from a woman. My family totally turned their back. As for society they could care less about how I felt. To them I was the biggest “buller” in Dominica.

In 2012 I was involved in explicit pictures of me being circulated around Dominica and the world by extension. At that time I was employed an got a lot of pressure by my coworkers. I was called names and was promised my death.

In December of that same year I was terminated on grounds that didn’t make much sense. In my opinion everything leads up to discrimination by employees and certain managers who still up to today call me names. And seeing that I was the issue as they say it was my word against their’s.

I felt like committing suicide after these two situations because it hurt me that now that I was able to make money and live my life by renting my own spot was not gonna continue.

In fact I tried taking my life away several times. I took over 500 pills including antibiotics among other painkilling tablets but nothing happened. There was no need to report to hospital. The tears I cried could maybe full the tank of a vehicle. I felt so rejected by many family members and fake friends. I even tried stabbing myself. I failed for I realized that I didn’t live life yet.

In 2013 I continued my journey as an unemployed individual. I was then homeless in March and April. This time I slept on the grounds of a church I located in a village away from the town for I did not want people to see me nor to see them.

After spending my days and nights on the cold floors of the church I had a lot running through my mind. I felt like I had been through way too much already you would think that I did not go through more well I am still going through.

In July I got a ‘burst head’ on the street that leads to my home as I was walking on the dark road with my light flashing on my phone I saw a scrooter pass me. Then I saw no trace of the bike as I continued. I found this strange. Not even two minutes later I got a lash at the back of my head then I collapsed to the ground with blood dripping from my heads all the way down to the ground.

I ran to a nearby shop where I requested a top up to call my landlord. There was no top up and as I continued walking bottles and stones were being pelted at me from the direction. I made it home where my landlord’s daughter was rejoicing about my burst head. She later on celebrated with the fellers in the area whilst I was rushed to the hospital.

As if that was not enough I got another burst head in August, this time it was in town when someone ran up to me and burst a Carib (beer) bottle on my head. I stayed in shock as I felt it was a dream but it was true.

Later on that night I was promised to be chopped to death. In fact it almost happened but luckily someone nearby noticed and encouraged the person to leave me alone.

Today we are in September and I am still standing. These days I take pleasure in listening to songs of Cindy Lockhart especially “true colors”

As I close I say to everyone show your true colors, be yourself, for you can only be you.

I hope that my story told you more about discrimination and what can be caused by it.

Be free like a bird in the sky. Life is so sweet and I don’t want to die but honestly I can only be me.
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arno ralf kneisel - osce/ksze-missionsleiter der StadtCOLOUR (user currently living in SWITZERLAND) posted for gay readers to the UNITED STATES country page on 21/09/2013 tagged with tourism, at the work place, gender identity, human rights, religion
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we have reorganisation in our project StadtCOLOUR and new contacts for the worldwide gay-community:

StadtCOLOUR
www.osce-mission-der-stadtcolour.de.rs
www.botschaftderstadtcolour.com
www.flickr.com/photos/wim-international
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(user currently living in INDIA) posted for gay readers to the INDIA country page on 19/09/2013 tagged with at the work place
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HI. I am from india. I feel very loanly because at workplace or any parties no one is my friend. Everyone makes joke of me. I need some friend.. pls hlp me. This is my no..
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N.C.V. (user currently living in BELGIUM) posted for bisexual readers to the CAMEROON country page on 28/08/2013 tagged with at the work place, human rights, sexual orientation, illegality of male to male relationships +5
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I am N.C.V. a bisexual and a cameroonian by nationality currently living in Belgium. I worked as a laboratory technician in a health center(X) in Douala-Cameroon,where I was the head of the Biochemistry lab. department for close to two years.One monday afternoon,I was taken aside by the manager(Supervisor) of the clinic and advised me that rumours had circulated in regards to my sexuality.I was further advised that if any basis was found for the rumours,it would affect the possibility for me to continue heading the Biochemistry department.And just after about a week later,the same manager called me up agian and instructed me to limit my duties at the level of sample analyses and not to direct the collection of samples from patients any more.From thence I had to be very careful about anything I said,making sure that I never used the word "we" when describing any activity or even in my life.I was forced to be constantly on my own guard.In light of this and the homophobic harrassement which I started experiencing from my co-workers,I had no other option but to abandon my job to move abroad in september 2007.This experience of discrimination continues to affect me till today.We shall be very happy if the Americian and European NGOs can re-inforce the activities of the local underground NGOs in cameroon address LGBT Issues.Many LGBTI in cameroon are dying in closet just for being who they are by nature.
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ben (user currently living in NIGERIA) posted for straight readers to the NIGERIA country page on 13/08/2013 tagged with at the work place, health +4
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My personal opinion is that same sex affair is a health sickness that need medical research on ways to correct it. This is the fact no animal is no to pratice it. It is a simple logic.Rather promote it, i would suggest we direct our efforts on medical research on ways to address this cronic diseses and terrible disese.Thank you.
ben.
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(user currently living in SAUDI ARABIA) posted for gay readers to the JORDAN country page on 02/08/2013 tagged with tourism, at the work place +4
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The law in Jordan is an Islamic law, It's not allowed for LGBT and the punishment is the Death.
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Barbara Lanthemann (user currently living in SWITZERLAND) posted for lesbian readers to the SWITZERLAND country page on 10/07/2013 tagged with at the work place
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Was ist die LOS?
Die Lesbenorganisation Schweiz LOS ist die nationale Interessenvereinigung von einzelnen lesbischen Frauen und von regionalen bzw. themenspezifischen Lesbengruppen, welche auf politischer Ebene Einfluss nehmen wollen.
Die LOS agiert als pressure group auf nationaler Ebene in den Bereichen Politik und Gesellschaft, um die volle Gleichberechtigung von lesbischen Frauen mit ihren heterosexuellen Mitmenschen zu erreichen. Wichtig ist ihr dabei insbesondere der Kampf f端r die Sichtbarkeit von lesbischen Lebensweisen sowie gegen jede Form der Diskriminierung von lesbischen Frauen.
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ДО
НАРОДНОТО СЪБРАНИЕ
ДО
ПРЕЗИДЕНТСТВОТО НА РЕПУБЛИКА БЪЛГАРИЯ
ДО
МИНИСТЕРСКИ СЪВЕТ
ДО
СРЕДСТВАТА ЗА МАСОВА ИНФОРМАЦИЯ


ДЕКЛАРАЦИЯ

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ГЛБТ „ИДЕА-БГ”, съдебна регистрация: № 1/18.03.2010-СГС – ФО,
Седалище и адрес на управление: гр. София, кв. „Суха река”, бл. 41, ап. 3
представлявано от Христо Петров Христов - Председател на УС
телефон +359885975963, E-mail: ideаpress@abv.bg


ОТНОСНО:
Злонамерени действия на служители от Министерство на образованието, младежта и науката в Република България, на Регионален инспекторат по образованието София – град и Министерство на вътрешните работи на Република България по време на управлението на партия ГЕРБ 2010-2013 г.


УВАЖАЕМИ ДАМИ И ГОСПОДА,

Сдружение ГЛБТ „ИДЕЯ-БГ” е организация имаща за цел да защитава правата на хора с различна сексуална ориентация, да спазва и опазва демократичните процеси в Република България. Да извършва контрол и информира властите за извършени нарушения.
За съжаление от 2010 г. насам се забелязва сериозно увеличаване на нарушения спрямо правата на хора с различна сексуална ориентация. Такива действия има и срещу граждани, които подкрепят тези членове или групи от обществото ни.
В доклад на международната неправителствена организация за защита на човешките права „Амнести Интернешънъл” се сочи, че България се възприема като страна с висок процент на дискриминация на малцинства, лош стандарт в затворите и хомофобия. Нашата организация е убедена в истинността на тези факти (можем да ги подкрепим с конкретни случаи).
Най-фрапиращ е случая срещу член на нашата организация и защитаващ го директор – работодател на потърпевшия, започнал от началото на 2010 год. и продължаващ до този момент. През месец юли 2010 год. Министерство на образованието, младежта и науката провежда конкурс за директори. За едно от столичните училища участват Христо Светославов Птухин и Верка Николова Русинова. От този момент нататък започват и техните проблеми. Председателят на комисията по конкурса г-н Лазар Додев след събеседването с Христо Птухин пред цялата комисия му задава въпроса дали го познава. Птухин в момента не успява да се досети за какво му се задава този въпрос. В последствие разбира, че някой се е опитал да го дискредитира, като му е приписал интимни отношения с г-н Додев. След спечелването на конкурса от г-жа Верка Русинова, която е назначена за директор на Първо помощно
училище – София, г-жа Латинка Борисова Ковачева тогава експерт „Интегрирано обучение и специални училища в Регионалния инспекторат по образование София – град, я кани на разговор при началника на РИО София - град Ваня Фердинандова Кастрева. Същата уведомява директор Верка Русинова, че нейния служител, старши учител Христо Птухин е хомосексуалист и има досие в СДВР. Г-жа Кастрева изисква от директор Верка Русинова да уволни незабавно старши учителя Христо Птухин. Русинова отказва с претекста, че няма законово основание за такова действие. Ваня Кастрева и отговаря, че ако Птухин не си отиде то Русинова ще си отиде.
В началото на 2011 г. се засилват атаките срещу директор Верка Русинова. От нея се изисква да отстрани от работа нашият член. Провеждани са събирания в МОМН, на които директорката е канена. На тези срещи са присъствали още представители на Синдиката на българските учители към КНСБ, тогава зам. министър Милена Дамянова, Пенка Иванова – директор на Дирекция „Достъп до образование и подкрепа на развитието” от МОМН, както и представител на СДВР от дирекция „Детска престъпност”. Полицаят най-обстойно е представил всички данни за старши учителя Христо Птухин, които били съхранявани в СДВР, независимо от факта, че сме изискали от министър Цветан Цветанов след лична среща с него и с писмо да бъдат унищожени досиетата на хората с различна сексуална ориентация от масивите на полицията. Представителя на СДВР е настоявал члена на нашата организация г-н Христо Птухин да бъде уволнен, защото бил „опасен”. След като директора на Първо помощно училище г-жа Верка Русинова на една от поредните срещи отказва да го уволни е заплашена, че ще бъде отстранена, като я уволнят дисциплинарно и на нейно място ще бъде назначен друг директор, който да извърши този акт. Тъй като не помагат заплахите, през месец септември се изпраща проверка от МОМН и на базата на същата се иска дисциплинарно уволнение на директорката г-жа Верка Русинова. Тя се разболява и излиза в отпуск по болест. На нейно място е назначена за временно изпълняващ длъжността директор Латинка Борисова Ковачева. На 20 февруари 2012г. същата вика полиция от СДВР дирекция „Детска престъпност”. Девет човека начело с Виолета Аланджийска (директор на дирекция „Детска престъпност“ - СДВР) нахлуват в часа по география воден от старши учителя г-н Птухин, без да представят заповед и без да присъства временно изпълняващия длъжността директор на училището Латинка Ковачева. Учителя е отстранен от бюрото, на което има настолен служебен компютър, и една жена от полицаите започва да търси в компютъра, без да даде обяснение какво. Това действие трае около час и половина. През това време учениците, които са с умствени увреждания, предимно момчета, са разпитвани от полицаите - без присъствие на педагог, психолог или родител. На разпитите не е присъствала и временно изпълняващия длъжността директор на училището г-жа Латинка Ковачева, което е грубо нарушение на законовите разпоредби. Учениците са разпитвани дали г-н Птухин им прожектирал порно, пускал ли им е такова на компютъра, знаят ли къде живее, идвали ли са му на гости, опипвал ли ги е, дали ги е бил или заплашвал. На всички въпроси децата са отговорили отрицателно. Докато трае проверката на полицията на нашият член г-н Христо Птухин му е прилошало и сам е извикал „Бърза помощ“ на тел. 112. След идването на „Бърза помощ“ го откарват в УМБАЛ „Царица Йоана”. По същото време временно изпълняващия длъжността директор Латинка Ковачева провежда неправомерно Общо събрание, на което предлага мястото, на което е назначен старши учителя Христо Птухин, да бъде преобразувано на такова за бременни или за инвалиди. За това той не е и уведомен. През следващите дни в медиите се пускат заглавия и статии, в които г-н Птухин е представен като гей и педофил, уронват му авторитета и достойнството. Училището се посещава от журналисти от в. „Телеграф” и „Монитор”. Временно изпълняващата длъжността директор Латинка Ковачева вместо да се погрижи да успокои децата и да ги закриля, дава с охота интервюта. Многократно е молена от г-н Христо Птухин да спре допускането на журналисти в сградата и да обърне внимание върху провеждането на учебния процес, но отговорите и са били: да си влиза в час, да не се занимава с неща, които не са негова работа. По телевизиите ТВ7 в Новините и предаването „Бодилник”, по БТВ Action и БТВ Новините са излъчени репортажи с участието на директора на дирекция „Детска престъпност” Виолета Аланджийска, която го нарича гей, педофил и престъпник.
Г-н Министър-Председател, от всички тези действия срещу старши учителя Христо Птухин достигаме до извода, че през цялото време се е се целяло неговото дискредитиране, оклеветяване и унижаване пред обществото. Набеждават го за да бъде отстранен от работа и в бъдеще същият да не може да бъде преподавател в системата на образование.
Същевременно здравословното състояние на г-н Птухин се влошава и той излиза в болнични от 27 февруари 2012г. В деня на неговото излизане в отпуск по болест временно изпълняващия длъжността директор Латинка Ковачева обявява мястото му в сайта на РИО за свободно и при завръщането му на работа пред всички колеги връчва заповед за освобождаването му. Неговото място е заето от студент по това време, който е с 100% инвалидност. Този човек е неправоспособен съгласно Инструкция № 2 от 29.07.1994 г. за изискванията за заемане на длъжността “учител” или “възпитател” съобразно придобитото образование, професионална квалификация и правоспособност.
С тези действия, ние членовете на ГЛБТ „ИДЕЯ-БГ” се убедихме, че старши учителя Христо Птухин е преследван и дискриминиран от служителите на МОМН - зам. министър Милена Дамянова, Пенка Иванова - директор на дирекция „Достъп до образование и подкрепа на развитието” - МОМН, Ваня Фердинандова Кастрева - началник на РИО София-град, временно изпълняващ длъжността директор Латинка Борисова Ковачева и от Виолета Тодорова Аланджийска - директор на дирекция „Детска престъпност” при СДВР.
Дами и господа, за съжаление сговористите от МОМН и РИО подкрепящи политиката на партия ГЕРБ не спират до тук. След отстраняването на нашия член Христо Птухин е издадена заповед за дисциплинарно уволнение на човека, който е защитавал законно от преследване старшия учител, директора на Първо помощно училище „Проф. дпн Георги Ангушев” – гр. София, Верка Николова Русинова. Един честен и достоен човек попада под ударите на хора, узурпирали властта в образованието, смятащи се за незаменими и извършващи „лов на вещици”. Ето защо, се обръщаме към Вас с искрена молба за следното:
1. Изискваме от новия министър на образованието на Република България г-жа Анелия Клисарска да анулира заповедта за дисциплинарно уволнение на директор Верка Николова Русинова и да я възстанови на предишната и длъжност в Първо помощно училище „Проф. дпн Георги Ангушев” – гр. София.
2. Да бъде отменена заповедта за отстраняване от работа, като Старши учител и и да се възстанови на работа г-н Христо Светославов Птухин.
3. Поради хомофобско отношение и омраза към учители с различна полова ориентация и подкрепящите ги хора преследвани заради това ние изискваме отстраняването от длъжност на началник на РИО Сфия-град, Ваня Фердинандова Кастрева.
4. Настояваме министър Цветелин Йовчев да отстрани от длъжност директор на дирекция „Детска престъпност” при СДВР Виолета Аланджийска за хомофобия и злоупотреба със служебна информация.
5. Изискваме да се предприемат действия, с които да се прекрати дискриминирането на хора с различна сексуална ориентация или с различна партийна принадлежност, както и преследването на техните поддръжници в Република България. Настояваме Народното събрание да внесе промени в НК, с които да се инкриминира хомофобията и действията и последствията свързани с нея, като бъде налагано наказание подобно за престъпление срещу личността.
6. Ако държавните органи не изпълнят нашите искания ще бъдем принудени с всички законни средства да изразим своя протест включително сезиране на международни организации в ЕС и ООН за правата на човека и изискване спрямо Република България да бъдат наложени санкции.


12.06.2013г. Председател на ЛГБТ „ИДЕЯ-БГ”
София / Христо Петров /
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Christophe (user currently living in MADAGASCAR) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers to the MADAGASCAR country page on 09/05/2013 tagged with at the work place, hate crime and violence prevention, hiv/aids , gender identity, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation +0
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Madagascar has no law against homosexuality, however the age of consent for same-sex intercourse is different of that of heterosexual relations (21yrs vs 16yrs).
Despite this, homophobia is still very present in the general population which consist largely of low or non educated very poor people viewing homosexuality as a "fady", a "forbidden" state of things. At best it is ignored, shunned and not recognised, homosexuals are often married with children and have hidden intercourse. At worst it is despised and homosexuals are banned from society.
Police forces play a large role in this state of things as well, not paying attention to the fact that homosexuality is not against the law.
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Stellan Karlsson (user currently living in SWEDEN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers to the SWEDEN country page on 29/04/2013 tagged with at the work place, teaching lgbt rights in schools +0
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I'm a openly homosexual male, currently studying to become a teacher (ages 16-19) in the city of Gothenburg, Sweden. I have been adviced by other students to not make my sexual orientation public in my profession.
I feel that teachers are seen as heterosexual until proven otherwise. Does that meen I need to go back into the closet as long as I'm a teacher? I want to be free to say things like: "I was discussing the topic of corrective eye surgery with my boyfriend last week and he told me that..." and not having it be a big deal (which it is as long as teachers are kept in the closet.
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Hanna K. Rantala (user currently living in FINLAND) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers to the FINLAND country page on 17/04/2013 tagged with at the work place, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation
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Making Our Struggles Visible: Advances in LGBTI rights demand courage and solidarity

These weeks of early spring 2013 gay rights have made the headlines in newspapers across the globe. Equal marriage bill is being debated in United States, Brazil, Colombia and Finland.
12 countries have granted the equal right to marry to same-sex couples after Uruguay's decision to legalise same-sex marriage. Earlier this week the French national assembly approved "Marriage to all" bill increasing expectations of equal marriage.

At the dawn of a brighter future, I was reminded of the importance of providing media coverage to these advances; for worldwide the battle for equality is nowhere near to be finished. LGBTI rights are a question of survival and a pending human rights issue. I will share you a story which happened to me this late March in 2013. The event took place on diplomatic grounds in Finland, hence, beyond the reach of local anti-discrimination measures.

I had written a solid application for a job, and was soon called for a round of interviews. I made it to the last stage. At first it seemed very promising. I was being congratulated for an excellent application, my broad experience and language skills. Soon the awkward question popped up: "Are you married?" I answered simply "No, I am not." This led my high-ranking interviewer onto the follow-up: 螯覚 you have a boyfriend?The seemingly obvious response "Yes, I am in a relationship" did not occur at that instant. Instead, I opted for the gender-neutral choice "Yes, I have a life partner." My interviewer got slightly confused. After confusing the pronouns him/her in his speech, he looked at me and said: "So, you do have a boyfriend or what?" Feeling puzzled about what my relationship actually had to do with the position in question, I decided to be frank and not lie about who I am. He had, in fact, asked me a straight-forward question and deserved an honest response: "I have a girlfriend", I said.

From there on, my interview turned into an odd quiz about [my] sexual orientation. Despite my ongoing efforts to steer the conversation back into the topic, my experience and professional strengths, I found myself with no resorts. Over the next 45 minutes, I was directed with questions that ranged from the age in which I had discovered my orientation (if I knew what was meant with it) to the citizenship and life interests of my girlfriend, and further along to whether I had preferred female or male teachers, if I got along with people regardless their gender, if I held grudge against some women, and which one of us two was the dominating one in the relationship.

My interviewer kept on assuring me that my sexual orientation was not a decisive factor. Yet, in the midst of it, I was never given the chance to defend myself for the job. Somehow, my private life had become the factor that defined me as a professional. I could have interrupted him. But I knew that this was a well-educated bigot who was not going to offer me the job. Instead, this was my chance to set some miss-guided presumptions straight.

This experience forced me to ask myself a question, pondered by many others before me: where should we draw the limit between acting professional and being political? How far can we go in respecting our privacy? Can we actually afford to stay quiet?

I am someone who considers private life private. I firmly believe that our personal lives should have no bearing over how we are perceived as professionals. That it is no concern of our employer's with whom we share our lives. I also think that office hours are office hours, and that personal issues are best left outside. However, we are social beings and sooner or later one of your colleagues will want to know a bit more about you. Then if an acquaintance assumes you straight, is it alright for us to stay quiet?

Recent evidence in United States shows that people seem more willing to support equal right to marriage if they know personally someone who is gay. I know this. Still, I am ashamed to confess that I have confided in separating the private from the public and hidden behind my deceiving appearance as a straight woman. Twice have I found myself cornered up and closeted at work. This has made me feel like a liar and a cheat. It has really made me question my values and beliefs, for I know that the advances in LGBTI rights have come about because ordinary people have had the courage to stand up and fight. I know that if we want to improve our status as equal, worthy and capable citizens and professionals, we must make our lives and battles visible. We must turn the private into public.

In contrast to the 12 countries with equal right to marriage, a third of the countries world-wide consider homosexuality a crime. In nine countries it is punishable by death. Many others have approved anti-discrimination measures to varying degree. No matter which end of the spectrum, there are no guarantees that we are not discriminated against.

My story is not unique. Around the world people are killed, attacked, harassed, bullied and many are at risk of losing their work because of their sexual orientation or gender. The denial of equal rights and the lack of effective anti-discrimination measures threaten the lives and livelihoods of many people like me. Being outspoken probably cost me the job. Paradoxically, it made me more determined to make my life count. I was reminded that LGBTI rights are human rights. They are a global issue. And that advances towards equality can be achieved only through tremendous acts of courage and solidarity.
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the following is my friend Tom's story, in his own words

I committed statutory rape with a 15-year old male when I was 51. He was my student. I loved and love him whole-heartedly and completely, and promised him unconditional love, long before any sex took place. Human behavior is complicated and has many varieties. This is an unusual story. The government told a cartoon story with broad strokes of black and white.

I was imprisoned without bond, and had my freedom of speech taken away before I had been convicted of any crime. Newspapers printed government press releases without any checking of any facts. If necessary, I will submit to a polygraph on any statement I make, from any independent administrator. Ask those who contradict my statements if they will do the same. If a statement was proved by evidence or the victim's statements, I will put (P). I have discovered that the police falsify information, and distort and manipulate facts and testimony. My belief in the United States has been shaken.

The young man, a South American adopted into an Orthodox Jewish family, was cutting himself in September of 2009 when we met. He told me it was from the frustration with his home life, and not being allowed to be Latino or social, and being forced to observe a religion he found oppressive. He said one sister attacked him physically several times. He is a remarkable, bright, witty, and kind human being, with a fierce urge for freedom. I found him to be extraordinary. He came to see me most days, even more often after he was warned by his parents that I was homosexual, I found out later.(P) He brought a chess board in for lunches when he found out I played chess. We talked about history, religion, politics, psychology. He eventually he told me about the cutting.

I called his father, talked to the rabbis, called a psychologist, put him in touch with a former student with whom I thought he might click (heterosexual), gave him a copy of The Road Less Travelled, the best book I thought on how one gets happy. He kept cutting. I was frantic to help. I promised to love him unconditionally, forever. We loved talking, and I hoped I could make up whatever he lacked. I promised to do anything in my power to help him be happy. I sent him affirmation texts. (Know you are loved, you are great as you are, say "I am a wonderful person," etc.)

Some months later, on the phone, he said we should have sex. I told him that was a "really bad idea."

Some time later, he said he was playing tennis next to my building, and he would come by to work on a project. He came up, and said he was not there to work on the project, but to have sex. I tried to talk him out of it. (P) I said I could love him without sex. (P) He said I didn't have to. I said he did not owe me sex for love. He said he knew he did not owe, he wanted it, and he said I did too. I said sex was not that important, that he should not ask such a thing just for sex. He said it was for true love, that we were soul mates, we would be together forever. I said if we were soul mates then, we would be so in a few years. He said, true, but since we were we did not have to wait. Many times, he said he needed it to live. He confirmed at trial that he believed that. (P) He believed he loved me and that I loved him. (P) I said he should be with someone his age. He said he was attracted to older men. (P) I said everyone would assume it was my fault when it came out (even years later if we were together). He said he would tell them he picked me, and besides, we would be together. He said he had known what he wanted for a long time. He said such things happened all the time. Nothing happened that day (Feb,. 13 2010) We agreed to work it out. The conversation continued the next day with many more reasons for no on my part. He finally said if it was not me, it would be some other older white guy. (P) I agreed on February 14.

I have tried to be a good person my whole life. I try not to manipulate people. I love people without sex; sex and love are not the same thing. I do not even like to have sex with someone drunk, even a boyfriend because of the consent issue. I have always tried to tell the truth. Even in teaching, I would tell students the reason I was doing something (quizzes are designed to force you to read, etc.) I have tried to help the outcasts, with chess and theater. Many students said I saved lives, saved souls.

No combination of things could have made me give in like those. I had to save the life of someone I loved, a soul mate with love so true that 35 years made no difference, and if I didn't do it he would go do it somewhere else. I justified it by saving his life, not denying true love, and protecting him from those who did not love him. It was clearly wrong, but has anyone been subject to such arguments in such a situation? He said, trust me, believe me.

I thought that rejection just might kill him. I thought he wanted to be trusted and believed. I rationalized that the release of sex with someone he loved might stop the cutting. I let myself believe. He said in a statement later he did it for power and control. (P) The cutting stopped for four months until another fight with his sister.

Once I agreed I did whatever I could to make him happy. He was very advanced sexually. He claimed that I was the first, but close examination of his statement excluded from trial makes that claim dubious. He wanted to try light bondage and spanking. I always did what he asked. The prosecutor loved to say "penetrated with objects." I was the far more often penetrated. Everything done was done mutually. He was very happy, almost giddy. Only he could arrange meeting times. I came when he called, and did what he asked. He estimated 50 to 60 times in 5 months. The frequency with which he chose should have been proof of a loving if wrong relationship; I had no ability to arrange to see him. The schedule was his. He repeatedly texted and told me "You saved my life."

I had to move to Virginia to make more money. He said he wanted us to be together, so I remained faithful. I saw him that Christmas break, once, and it was clear he was no longer interested. He had been sleeping with a number of other older men. (P This is factual from his statements, not speculation.) I did not know that until my arrest. He called me to officially end the relationship in January. I was heart-broken, but I never raised his vow of eternal love. I tried to continue loving him as a friend. We soon emailed, and I never asked to renew the sexual relationship. I offered to be a best friend (my choice) or never talk to him if that was what he needed. (P) His emails say things like "Thank you...for everything," and "Not worry about you? Not possible." The emails are available.

He broke contact in early June of 2011. I heard by email from someone claiming to be him in October of that year, but it was not him. I denied the sex, thinking it was his family. I promised to do anything to help him if HE asked, and ended contact with the impostor. It was a Florida law enforcement agent. That was my first offer to turn myself in.

He got in trouble for his sexual contact with men. He refused to cooperate with police. (P) He was locked in psychological facilities for a year. He was brainwashed into changing the facts of what happened, (P) and his attitude was reversed. As far as I can tell, he was locked up for being actively gay. He was 17 for most of that time. In May 2012 he cooperated with police, and contacted me. When he called, I said I was ready to come tell the truth if that was what he needed. My second offer. He said he wanted me to come see him (reversed by police) and that he could not wait until he was 18. (P) I was confused by his previous rejection and now reversal. The policeman, as the young man, sent me sexually suggestive texts and emails, begging for me to renew the relationship, and made me promise to say something on the phone. It was the young man on the phone. I promised, and the young man initiated phone sex at the behest of the police. (P) I tried to decline; he said he had "needs." (P) I came to Florida and was arrested, after telling him twice more on the phone I would come and tell the truth. He was three months away from his 18th birthday at this point. The federal age of consent is 16, but they charged me under the Florida age of 18, but using a federal charge that carried a sentence of 10 to life.

The young man's police statement on which the indictment was based was largely disproved at trial. (P) The federal government charged me under an internet predator law, convinced that there were other victims. The police directed or suggested the false testimony. (P) They said I showed him child porn, which makes no sense. This was dismissed on sentencing, but they used it twice in trial to disgust the jury. They kept hinting at trial and sentencing about other victims, who do not exist, in spite of running a hotline number that was carried in the US and England. I find men from the age of maturity to 30ish more attractive sexually than older men, though not exclusively. Do heterosexuals do this as well? Does a 50 year old heterosexual fantasize about 50 year-ld women? I tried NOT to see students outside of school. I would never seduce anyone; the greatest attraction for me is someone's desire for me.

When the other victims did not appear, they brought in the FBI grooming expert to say I groomed him, since the evidence of persuading, enticing, inducing or coercing was slim. No grooming scenario exists in which the "groomer" waits for the "victim" to ask for sex, and then tries to dissuade the "victim." As unlikely as my story sounds, at trial he admitted that he, not I, proposed sex, that I tried to talk him out of it (and thus he talked me into it), that he BELIEVED he needed it to live, that I said I could love him without sex, and that he said he would find another older white guy if I said no. He AFFIRMED these at trial.

The interpretation of the law for induce as "cause" is to "allow to happen," when it should mean force. Under this absurd reading, this law has a LOWER threshold of guilt than statutory rape; a text message saying "OK, I will pick you up," would convict, without any contact. If every gay teen who texted an older lover were to be found in South Florida, there would be an army in prison. Statutory rape under federal guidelines carries a 41-51 month sentence. I was given 200 months under the persuasion statute. I had offered to plead guilty to statutory rape and it was rejected; they blamed me at sentencing for putting him through the trial.

Most heterosexual women in the same situation are sentenced to probation to two years. The application of this statute was arbitrary and unequal. The prosecutor announced to the jury that he granted that the "sex was consensual." The age of consent in Israel is 15, so in that civilized a country I would not even have committed a crime at all. The rich are sued for this. Where is the moral fairness?

Why was I prosecuted this way? Conservative politics and homosexuality. The family is Orthodox Jewish, the investigator who fashioned the testimony is Catholic, the prosecutor is Republican, and the judge voted for Rick Santorum.

I believed saving his life, or both of us believing it, would mitigate the statutory rape charge. I believed telling the truth and offering to turn myself in would mitigate. Telling the truth was the worst thing I could have done. Had I denied him when he called, and lied, nothing would have happened. I tried to be honest; rejecting him seemed to violate my vow of love.

I do not "blame" him for sleeping with other men. I do not love him less. I would have done anything for his happiness. I would have gladly NOT slept with him. I rationalized that I was being courageous to save his life and risk my own. I felt he was testing to see if my vow of eternal, unconditional love was real. He convinced me we were breaking convention for our mutual happiness. I thought I could serve some years to save him. If it truly saved his life, I wish I could say that knowing what I do now, I would still have been loyal enough to say yes. I would not have had the courage. I am sorry it happened either way.

Does love matter? Does fairness matter? Does the truth matter? When does a person have sexual and religious freedom? Can a conservative family change those by locking someone in psychological units, to change attitudes and alter facts? Does gay sex justify any level of charges, and any lying by the government?

I hope the young will save my life some day.

Please tell my story.

Thomas Patrick Keelan 98219-004
FDC Miami
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an effiminate (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers to the PAKISTAN country page on 10/04/2013 tagged with at the work place, lgbt families +10
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where ours orthodox norms crushing us, ours cruel stereotypes suffocating us since centuries the LGBT compaign is a hope for the people like me to breath at will but on it positive senses......like me i am an mphil qualified person . From a prestigious university of islamabad city with thirty years of age i do not have any job because i looks gay.... Evn i am not....and evn if i am so should i not have right to earn my livelyhood?
We need change we need help....we need this revolution.
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crazyandkirst (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender bisexual readers to the UNITED KINGDOM country page on 14/03/2013 tagged with intersex, at the work place, gender identity, sexual orientation
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Read about the story of Steven transitioning to Kirsty

<a>http://www.livingwithatransgender.com/why-transexual-steven-preferred-barbie-to-ken/</a>
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Gay Lord Junior (user currently living in BRAZIL) posted for gay readers to the AFGHANISTAN country page on 22/02/2013 tagged with at the work place +4
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im gay for cow meat
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i'm from Morocco & i need a help (user currently living in MOROCCO) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers to the MOROCCO country page on 05/02/2013 tagged with at the work place, lgbt families, laws and leadership , sexual orientation, religion, illegality of male to male relationships
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Hi everybody, i dont know how to explain da situation here ,day after day i feel losing hope in life and feeling really destroyed.
I present myself, my name is EMy "nickname", born in 1985 and I live in Morocco, a Muslim country where there is no gay rights at all, we are now in 2012 and there is any homosexual law reform expected !!
Since i was teenager i always felt that my choices and my way of thinking is like a girl, I dressed as a woman (in privacy) and so far I shaved all my body parts regularly .. in recent years I did my eyebrows and I tried to wear feminine clothes .. but i was firmly confronted by my family and entourage and I lost my job and all my friends just because i tryed to be me.
I avoided having homosexual relationship just because the law is not tolerant;
My life is wasted; prisoner in men clothes I find no taste to continue this life, get outside my room and see the world, nobody understands me, it's taboo to talk about homosexuality here coz of religion beliefs !! I lost hope to live and I swear i start to think about suicide.
I tryed several times to contact many gay rights comitee in several countries but in vain, they all told me that i have to be in that country in ordre to deal with me, i was seeking for a humain asylum.
My relationship with my surroundings have become worse especially with my family, and one day I'll leave home without knowing where to go.
i need some one to help me to live my life in a country where there is gay rights, I want to live and work in peace, get dressed with respect and freely.
my email: bi.cool@live.com -sincerly-
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john (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay readers to the PHILIPPINES country page on 31/01/2013 tagged with intersex, at the work place
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Need a boy who will love me for who am I. I am willing to support him in any means.
Please feel free to contact me at this number. +639262624635
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ILGA is an education in homofascism. ILGA discriminates against people based on sexual orientation - the ultimate hypocrisy. ILGA sucks.
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Roland (user currently living in GUYANA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual straight readers to the GUYANA country page on 12/11/2012 tagged with at the work place, hate crime and violence prevention, health, human rights, sexual orientation, religion
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well i dont tell long stories im 28yrs.got in a Fight with my boss becaiuse she wanted to pay me ne to nothing coz according to her gay people should be glad they getting a job. i cant go to the police for that. 2. trying to access public tranport. wow. ive been pleted with bottles many times and recently as well just for being at the park to catch the buss to go home and the moile police outpost is right their and the guy the police man just came out and close his door. i figure coz he realize im gay being the people are ccreaming our burn battiman. 3. its rediculas to get health care in guyana when u r gay. first they dont want to look at you and then when you turns comes which is way after they arrast you. 4.human rights is not even a issue in guyana when it should be.5. im a gay male and Guyana had scuccesslly made me know that im a outcast. thanks Guyana.6. I was a christian un till i was trown out o my church they should e somthing that monitors that coz it has had a real impack on my social life. who is to e heald responcible? but then again im gay, its my fault
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azib (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for straight readers to the PAKISTAN country page on 03/11/2012 tagged with at the work place, human rights +28
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Hello I am a girl from Pakistan. I need help for myself. I want to change my sex and I want to become a boy. I know my need is unusual and there are many problems and needs to fulfill in this world. But I cannot stay any more in this life as girl. I am fed to live as a girl please considers my request as soon as possible. I am very small more than a particle but how is it possible to live with that body which I cannot accept at heart and soul inside me there is no wish to live any more as girl. I wish any one would help me and support me in all the way I have sent mails to white house and secretary of Helery Clinton but no one is responding me please do something don't let me down I will be thankful to you.Every one read my mail and delete it or they send it to dustbin I am surprised from all those to whom i sent mails because if they are human being they will obviously help me they only make excuses that its not their department or they only help group of people not individual. Please don't ignore my wish, also give orders to help me to the concerned authority am alone without power without money without support I am a Muslim girl so thatâ&euro;&trade;s why I can't ask to anyone in my country everyone say that I am mad but a I am not mad I am in my conscious I just want to become a boy I can't sleep I hate myself thank you so much. Can you help me waiting for your positive responseâ&euro;&trade;s don't have money I am help less but I am not fake please don't ignore my message. The basic reason for all this is I am not satisfied with this life I cannot do anything no further study no emotions no thoughts no hope except this because I always lost, when I want something it became possible because I am selfless because of this body, I want to die thatâ&euro;&trade;s all . I cannot do anything for my self because i am helpless just like a toad in a well.
Regards.
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Mark Simpson (user currently living in FRANCE) posted for gay lesbian straight readers to the MOROCCO country page on 30/10/2012 tagged with tourism, at the work place, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation +20
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My name is Dr. Mark S. Simpson. I am a living example that homophobia is alive and well. I was a career educator at some of the finest institutions in the United States, including Director of the Upper School at Windward in Los Angeles and Trinity in New York. A very sad event occurred in 2008. The head of Trinity School, a friend, mentor and amazing leader passed away. I decided to ease my pain by moving on. I was offered a job as the headmaster at a school in Morocco. It seemed like destiny – to serve a school in an area of the world where so many were denied education. To lead an institution towards that most honorable goal – educating the young and giving them hope for a better future. This choice would ultimately lead to the devastation of my stunning career, the shattering of my personal well being and the destruction of my life.

When I arrived at the school, it was instantly apparent that it was infiltrated with shady, dishonest and criminal characters. Not a safe environment for children, and come to find out, not a safe environment for a person like me (while I had a genius IQ), unfortunately, I went through life without ever learning (what my partner calls) street smarts. So many horrible things happened; I did not even survive the first year. The major event that occurred; and for which I had no participation - a dual national (American and Moroccan) person was fired by the Board of Directors. Sadly for me, this religious fanatic and true homophobe, decided to focus his intense revenge on me - for three years now. He sent communications to schools I applied to; contacted the agency that represented me and put out terrible lies; most notably that I was a pedophile. Needless to say, in the world of education, even a lie about that issue ends your career. He didn’t stop there. He stalked me on email, Facebook and my blogs; he had infiltrated my computer in Morocco and obtained my contact lists and has also written 30 page diatribes about me; or in some cases pretended to be me – writing to former students saying I was sexually interested in them. I have continuously relocated around the world, concerned about my personal safety.

All of this has more than devastated me. I am being treated for PTSD, and in my mental state, I am unable even to search for or hold a basic (non-education) job. As if destroying my professional career and my personal life is not sufficient, he has now taken to filing suit against me for slandering him (what a joke that is).

Homophobia is alive and well. The one thing I have remaining is my ability to write. Truth be told, I am a good writer and it brings me some semblance of satisfaction. I write this story, not because I am looking for empathy but to tell gays and lesbians that not only is homophobia alive and well, but that it takes on many different faces. I have a strong and loving partner who gets me through each day. However, by sharing this story I hope I can give some support to others who share life altering experiences because of who they are.

I invite anyone that wants to read my blog (http://www.whitmanandrimbaudkissing.com/) and to join me as I continue to battle this deep rooted hatred and bigotry because of who I love.
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Kayigoma Ronnie Lule (user currently living in UGANDA) posted for gay readers to the UGANDA country page on 26/10/2012 tagged with tourism, at the work place +4
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BEING AN LGBTI/MSM/S/ACTIVIST IN UGANDA

When the Anti Homosexuality Bill (often referred to as the Bahati Bill) introduced in parliament. This Bill sought to criminalize LGBTI persons in Uganda, all of us were condemned and we live in fear each day.

In Uganda, the tabloid media has been at the forefront of whipping up public sentiment against LGBTI persons, in its coverage, the tabloid press has been irresponsible and libelous contributing significantly to the violence and hatred upon LGBTI persons by society like red paper and its sister Kamunye.

To add on that, due to the homophobic society, we have been expelled from all leisure joints and movements, the tabloid media also writes homophobic stories, no positive stories comes out and the readers believe that what is written is the truth.

You can not stop people from harassing you when they want; after I was exposed in the tabloid media Kamunye, of 28th may 2012, as gay activist, my neighbors, parents and friends turned/started harassing and being rude on me.

LGBTI persons face discrimination by both employers and employees. After I was exposed in the media Kamunye, my workmates and my boss started to victimize me at work and finally my boss handed me a termination letter, when I asked him why he was sacking me, he said that I was fired for being outed in the media Kamunye as gay activist and he wanted to protect his job/customers and the young workmates from my abhorrent act.

My straight friends formed a group which went around campaigning that they have a gay person who stays in their area without their knowledge, they also said that I wanted to recruit them into homosexuality, disgust; name calling, gossip, and black mailing

LGBTI persons face harassments from Landlords and neighbors when their orientation is discovered. When I was outed in Kamunye, My Landlord gave me 24 hours to vacate her house failure she was going to call a local Bukedde TV news media agataliko nfufu to reveal me, and people threatened to burn down her property for accommodating me.

In addition to that, our families are often the target of abuse, violence and parents are sometimes pressured into disowning their children, when my parents learnt that I am gay activist, they grabbed all my assets and started selling them, telling me that it’s a foreign plotters because it was imported by whites, Gay is seen as a western phenomenon and since westerns seen as having money, many opponents dismiss African gays as self seeking opportunities who claim to be gays, In their opinion gays have a lot of money, my step-mother went a round telling every body that I am gay to the point I was forced to move from the neighbor hood in which I grew up since people wanted to attack me, more to that they started paying spies to monitor my movements and place of residence, my parents failed to understand that being gay is normal and natural, they consider me as abnormal, cursed and all the bad things you can ever image.

Kayigoma Ronnie Lule
Kampus liberty Uganda-Klug (An LGBTI University and Ex-camper organization) Founder/Executive Director, Human Rights Defender and LGBTI Activist

‘Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexual, Transgender and Intersexes do not claim any ‘special’ or ‘additional’ rights’ but the observance of the same rights as those of heterosexual persons. LGBTI persons are denied-either by law or practices-basic civil, political, social and economic rights.
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Paul (user currently living in SWEDEN) posted for gay readers to the UGANDA country page on 14/10/2012 tagged with at the work place +5
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Am one of the gays that the Uganda Police wanted to kill in 2010 when we were paying the last eye to our bro David, Am so down and stressed up, I need to share my experience with some one. Text me your contacts on +46769774591
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macrangermohan (user currently living in INDIA) posted for gay bisexual readers to the INDIA country page on 09/10/2012 tagged with at the work place +3
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one day i was late at work and had to stay back. the new office boy was a middle aged man and a bachelor. i asked him to get me some coffee. he spilled the coffee near my table while keeping it on my table. he got a mop and while bending down i noticed that his zip was open and i cud see his uncut cock since he was not wearing an underwear.
he saw me noticing it from the corner of his eye and smiled at me. i did not react and kept doing my work. i noticed that he did not put his zip up again. so i asked him why and he told me that the zip was not working and he needed someone to hold the zip while he put the mechanism in place. he asked me if i could him him. i had not other option and he came and stood near me and i held the ends of the zip while he was trying to push the lever.

during this exercise my fingers touched his cock and i noticed it enlarging in size. finally he had an erection. Since i had a slight gay tendency i liked it and started to fondle it. he too responded back by pulling out my cock and sucking it.
we came one after other...
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pro bush (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for straight readers to the UNITED STATES country page on 23/08/2012 tagged with at the work place +4
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Well it's a funny one, the day when a man is proud to lay with another man. Why not just pick up a fun and end it this is not a thing to take pride in I fear bring up my son in such a place. all I can do is tell him how wrong it is and there are no rights for these people. had one tell me it's wrong not to hire them I mean come on where's might right to tell a gay to f off If don't won't one working for me. That is my straight right.
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