Your Views
Are you LGBTI? We want to hear from you! Help us inform other users of the site with your views on this country. Below is a random question about this country. If it is relevant to you please answer it.
Have you been denied medical treatment in WORLD because of your sexual orientation?
The majority of people visiting this site have said No
Shame
"Can you imagine being ashamed for more than 3/4 of your life? For me that would mean 25 years plus. And society, family and religious leaders instill that in you. "He should be ashamed of himself! Can you imagine how much his family is suffering?" These are some comments I would hear if an effeminate guy passed by. You see, effeminate man = gay man. You don't play sports? You don't like SOCCER?? Cars? Boxing?? Whats "wrong" with you?
I remember.... Summer of 1994, my family and I were on our way to the US via London. I was at WHSmith and I saw the section that had gay magazines. I would pretend to look at something else and glance at those magazines. As if I'm looking at something illegal, criminal almost. I don't know how I got the courage but I did. I walked directly towards "those" magazines, looking over my shoulder and to my side. Am I gonna get caught? Am I going to be publicly humiliated? Are my parents and/or sister going to catch me looking at "those" magazines? My heart was beating faster and faster the closer I got. When I was deciding which magazine to take, I was trembling, shaking from inside and out. I thought people could hear my heartbeat. OMG, everybody is going to think that I am gay! I quickly picked up a copy of the "Gay Times" and held it close to my chest (the cover facing me of course). Okay, now I have to go pay for it. Shit, oh, shit, oh shit!! I stood in line, looking all around me, holding the magazine tight. As I got closer to the clerk I started sweating - OMG, she's (cashier) going to know that I am gay! What if she laughs? What if she humiliates me? When it was my turn to pay, I quickly put the magazine on the counter face down - maybe that way she won't know what the magazine is. To my horror, she turned the magazine over in order to scan it. I think my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I couldn't look her in the eye, but when I glanced at her, she smiled and told me the price. I gave her the money, got my change and magazine. She said: "Have a nice day" and looked at the next person in line. OMG, she did not care. She did not care one bit. The person behind me didn't care either. Am I simply walking away? Walking away unscathed? As I took those first few steps outside the store, I took a deep breath and I felt my whole body ease up. OMG. I did it. I bought my first gay magazine. And I'm ok. Nobody is staring at me. WOW!
This is just one example of many.
However, I must say that now at this stage of my life looking back at that experience I am very proud of that 16 year old boy. I'm very proud of myself. I was terrified but I still went for it completely by myself. I wish I could pat that 16 year old boy on the back, I wish I could hug him and say its ok, heck its more than ok!
Shame eats you up inside. Its a horrible feeling. To be ashamed of who you are. No child should ever, ever grow up with shame.
I now am able to say shame on society, shame on religious figures for scarring children in that way."