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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
Share your experiences in UNITED KINGDOM - Let others know what it’s like to be LGBTI in your country! If an experience is meaningful for you, it will probably be meaningful for someone else. On whatever topic, whether good or bad, your story is how the world knows about your country and LGBTI life. By selecting tags that mark the topic your story, others can learn from your experience.
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in UNITED KINGDOM...
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James Rall (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 24/09/2011 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, health, sexual orientation +10
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I was outed at work. I work within the NHS. For 14-16 months, I was called all the homophobic names. Queen, Queer, Homo, Poof, Fag, Fairy. and so on by three workplace colleagues. They were reported to one of my Supervisors. One guy appologised. the other two kept it going,for nearly a year. Till they were reported again. It now has stopped. I am in the union. And on the Regional LGBT Committee, and the National Committee for Health. I am also an Equalities Rep for Unite the Union. By reporting to them both, we are now in the Process of starting an LGBT Support Group for the NHS. It was meant for the local area at first. But it looks like it will be going nationally. Don't keep it to yourself. Report it as soon as it happens. And do not suffer in silence.
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Stephanie (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 28/01/2010 tagged with lgbt families, gender identity, sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions +10
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I recently came out as bisexual to my British husband of 6 years. I hail from New York but live permanently now in south west of England with him in a relatively rural location, well outside London, so I have come to expect some relatively provincial attitudes about most things related to gender, sexuality and marriage roles. My husband's response was loving and beautiful and akin to "oh now that explains some things." He was only sad that I took so long to trust him with this and that still lingers between us, unresolved. And though he was raised by middle English parents with some run of the mill and tedious homophobic attitudes (his parents think our gay male nanny is a 'obviously' a child molestor and are entirely blind to the fact that their younger son is quite likely gay), his attitude to my bisexuality is so-far postive and progressive. After making it known to him, though, I slowly started to make it known to friends and colleagues, gay and straight, that while I was happily married with kids, my psychosexual self (for lack of less psychobabbly term) was bisexual. I got every response from neutral acceptance through to encouragement from my gay and lesbian friends, but the straight friends still surprisingly held some seriously old fashioned views. So far none of them have shunned me or seem to direct any overt hostility towards me, but there is a passive aggressive line of questioning that I keep getting. Questions like: "But doesn't that mean you are really just a lesbian and don't want to admit it?" or, "So are you leaving your husband for a woman then?" And my 'favourite': "How can you be bisexual and monogamous?" That seemed to be the prevelent attitude really -- that bisexual either meant a life-long menage with both a man and a woman at once or a life where you could not commit to only one partner. The concept that I was a married, monogamous woman just happy and more content to finally be honest about who I really am was not sufficient. Saying I was bisexual now meant I needed to "do something about it." Again, this is all very new to my friends and husband... but that is what I experienced so far. A set of sadly retrograde questions and the expectation that my ability to be faithful was under scrutiny. I suspect there will be more to come, but for now ... that's it.
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Graham Smith (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 23/06/2011 tagged with lgbt families, sexual orientation +5
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I was married with children when I came out in my early 30's. I am totally out to all my friends and family. I am single at the moment but when I have had a partner we have been totally accepted as a couple by our network of friends and family.
The only time I still feel uncomfortable about my sexuality is if my partner and I have shown affection in public. If we have held hands walking along a beach it can still attract attention and open discussion and pointing. I guess it is just that they are still not familiar with seeing it.
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Naleen (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers in response to this story on 09/10/2010 +5
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I find that with toilets or accommodation that I too don;t fit in either. As I feel threatened when I use male facilities or with other males. or with females I find I would offend them or they may feel threatened if I look like a guy in a dress. Though I do feel more confident and secure with other females or using female facilities.
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JOHN ELLIOTT (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 08/03/2011 tagged with at the work place +5
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I currently work for the DWP, which is an excellent employer for gay people, male or female. However, I think this has been a fairly recent development in the workplace. My less favourable memories were of an insurance company, where during the Christmas present exchange party, gay men’s magazines and gay sex manuals would be wrapped up as gifts and given to unsuspecting male employees as a joke.

On finding out that I was gay, malicious male colleagues would indulge in immature same-sex kissing and mild simulation of gay sex acts in front of me.

During the early 1990’s I had trouble with another respected female member of staff. I had been involved in distributing personal safety alarms for women employees. The staff member proceeded to make jokes about small male private parts, asking if I would marry, and stated that I was a man, “who couldn’t make it with a woman.” On complaining, absolutely nothing was done about her spiteful conduct, whereby she was playing devious psychological rape games. I found similar rather anti-male sentiments with a small percentage of lesbian women who would make unenlightened comments about gay men, but be having affairs both with men and women.

Therefore, due to my experiences at work, I would prefer to keep my private life to myself. I am still proud of being gay, and would help anybody being bullied about their sexuality. I fully support people like Steve Davies for representing gay people within the macho arena of sport.
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Zoe Bremer (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian straight readers on 17/04/2010 tagged with human rights, religion +5
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I attended the Annual Meetings of the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free Christian Churches last weekend (8th-11th April), which took place at Nottingham University. Anyone wishing to know what happened can find out in THE INQUIRER, the national Unitarian newspaper, or contact Essex Hall, www.unitarian.org.uk (Tel. +44-(0)20 7240 2384).
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Dean MacKinnon-Thomson (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 13/11/2013 tagged with gender identity, sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions +5
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Privacy, acceptance and just plain rudeness...

I was eating out with some friends last week, tapas and red wine, all very casual when the conversation shifted strangely. Now don't get me wrong, they didn't mean to be offensive, rude or generally far too nosy, but still...
So there we are, and one of my very good female friends I've known for a little over a year now asks me about my date with a (really hot) Egyptian dentist. Now, innocent enough right? Nope, she wanted to know which of us was 'the top'. This quickly became the hot topic of our dinner discussion: namely my sexual preferences with a maybe-perhaps partner.

I can practically hear people reading this and shouting, 'what is wrong with any of that?' But let me reverse this for the benefit of the ethically impaired heterosexual majority. What if us gay people decided it was 'casual conversation' for us to know if you prefer anal or oral sex with your partner? Suddenly it becomes a little bit more personal, and a little less fair game doesn't it?

Is it just a novelty factor?

Does our society really accept this? Or is this just cultural impetus devoid of moral learning?

I try to convince myself this is probably a good sign. That in polite society, in busy restaurants and even among relative strangers the 'taboo' aspect of my sexual orientation has dissipated. That said, can I ask: when the fuck will the novelty of having a gay friend wear off?

Culturally we've come a long way, even in my short 24 year lifetime. I've seen the age of consent become equalised, civil partnerships become the norm, section 28 become history (in the UK at least)... oh... and Conservative PMs introducing equality in marriage for us (who'd have thought it!)

And I wonder if this massive shift in public acceptance of all things 'gay' has unintentionally left straight peoples sense of decorum behind. Is my being gay, and loving to hold, kiss, and fornicate with my fellow males of the species really still so 'in'? From Sex & the City, through to more recent programmes like 'Vicious' we see the popularisation of my sexuality. Crikey, Tesco was caught selling 'GBF dolls' for young boys and girls (that's Gay Best Friend for those out of 'the know'). But is this a sign of the accepting times? Or is this the commercialisation of my sexual orientation?

No, I'm not over-reacting at any of this. I can tell you, being able to hold hands in public with your lover and not have people give a crap is wonderful. Being able to enjoy legal equality is empowering. And knowing well over 2/3 of my fellow citizens think I'm born normal is thrilling.

But let me tell you what isn't: being reduced to a comedy doll item for prepubescent kids. Or having some of the most personal aspects of my love life become casual fair game conversation. Or even seeing the name of my orientation 'gay' become a synonym for negativity, un-coolness or freakishness.

Thus: is this widely felt British public acceptance genuine? Or just a novelty factor soon to wear off?

The moral of the piece...

The lesson of this piece is simple. If you think we're normal just like you heterosexuals then why not treat us like it? Boundaries are wonderful things, and yes, even gay partnerships enjoy them. We aren't all drama queens with limp wrists just baying at the leash to spout all utilitarian-happy about our latest squeeze. Sex & the City stereotypes aren't real; but gay couples appreciation of boundaries are.
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Ivor (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 19/06/2010 tagged with tourism, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation +5
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Transsexual asked to leave Glenuig B&B; in Inverness Scotland for dressing as a woman.

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/3002222/Glenuig-House-bed-and-breakfast-tells-transvestite-guest-to-leave.html#mySunComments
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Charlii (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender intersex readers on 10/03/2010 tagged with sexual orientation +5
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I am Charli.
I don't identify as female or male..
I don't really know what I am in terms of labelling.
I guess I'm gender fluid.
But I feel so uncomfortable because there never is an option at school/work/ in general (toilets etc) that I can use.

Is this something we can ever change?
Not only for people like me but for mtf's and ftm's and everyone else..
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Hi - I wanted to leave you with a mostly positive story, which is nevertheless laced with frustration. I socialised within the gay community from 1886 to 1995, in the UK. The reason was so that I could cope at the time with my 'gender dysphoria' (as it was called) - this led to my full gender change. Later, I effectively moved, though not deliberately, more into the 'straight world' but as a post-op transsexual (M to F). I have managed to work professionally since 1996 in a well-respected role, without anyone knowing. I have not 'come out' - even though I have been in two 'lesbian' relationships during that time. I wanted to state this now because it proves that transgendered people can work well in society. However, the frustration has been that coming out would have ended my career - of that I have no doubt. The number of people who openly castigate gay people and transgendered in particular, to my face, without the slightest idea about me is remarkable. If there is a joke in any of this it is on them - but of course, it's not funny. In my role, I do the best I can to educate people - but it has to be subtle, with small moves... My gay and transgender experiences have been wonderful and I would never go back on them - but it has been a long and hard road. I found I needed to be very resilient. Thanks for reading this.
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I left the UK in 2011, to travel around the world with my civil partner, we are still on the road and there is no end to our journey. I must say we have not experienced any hate crimes or homophobia on our trip so far. You can see the countries we visited and follow our journey around the world at our travel blog http://flashpackatforty.com/
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anonymous (user currently living in AUSTRALIA) posted for readers on 27/06/2011 tagged with at the work place, illegality of female to female relationships +5
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I never came out to myself that i am a "bisexual" i am really highly attracted to lesbians.... Some of my friend knew this but my sister overreacted with who i am... i hated her a little bit, she cant understand that i am so madly in love with my lesbian friend... she called me immoral, but i dont care...
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Naleen (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 09/10/2010 tagged with gender identity +5
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As a Transgender you are often left out off to one side of the LGBT communities. Where there is lack of information. Where communities say they are LGBT they really mean LGB but they are forced to add the T as it was campaigned to add the T to LGB.
With LGBT laws in various countries often leave out the Transgendered people so we are left guessing the laws half the time. Such as where is Homosexuality illegal. That's great for LGB but as for transgendered its still a mystery as we do not always follow the homosexual rules.
Some female only website seem to be confusing to what they mean by female only. Many T-Girls would benefit from what they have to offer but due to still having a penis we may find that we are not welcome. Why cant these websites and communities say no T-Girls or T-Girls also welcome. But then there is risk of regular males trying to gain access by claiming they have gender dysphoria when they do not. But if this is the same with T-Boys too I do not know. But all I can say is there is allot of confusion in my transition and I hope it gets easier.
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender bisexual readers on 19/06/2011 tagged with lgbt families, hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation, religion +5
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I just don't understand what is wrong with being bisexual / lesbian / gay. I am bisexual, and I just don't see what is wrong with that. How is it even different? Why does it matter?
I can understand why people have been...uneasy, shall we say, since everyone found out I am transgender, but can't they just accept me for who I am, not what I am??? Is it really that hard? I would happily do the same for anyone else.
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Mark van Laarhoven (user currently living in NETHERLANDS) posted for gay readers on 23/05/2012 tagged with at the work place +4
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Watch out for Mantrav Engeland. Unfortunately Mantrav UK is scamming collegeaus abroad concerning their Club Mancha situation. I have a gaytravel agency in the Netherlands and I have booked Club Mancha for the beginning of 2012. The park did not exist at that time en my client moved to a real gaybungalowpark. As Mantrav is the biggest gaytouroperator in the UK you should expect an honest and reliable settlement. No Mantrav is scamming their collegaues in the gayscene. After many, many emails, question etc. I haven't still seen my money. The refund department doesn't even repy on email anymore. It is unbelievable that they act this way. So I wanne warn everybody world wide. Don't book with Mantrav. You cannot trust them. They put letters on their websit with reliable explanations as they say but meanwhile they do not reply on emails and give no refunds. Regards, Mark van Laarhoven. Freedom Travel. The Netherlands.
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ismail (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 19/05/2012 +4
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I am gay currently being detained in the united kingdom fighting against deportation to country which is fighting against gay people(uganda). the immigration judge accepted that i was gay but she said i will be safe when am returned to uganda to a country which is against homophobic.it looks like there is no more human rights within the world cause am being forced to go back to the where i am at risk of my life.
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holly (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 17/11/2012 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention +4
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i am 24 and im transgender . i have known i am since i was very young i am awaiting treatment to become female and have found people are very judgmental about it , i dont feel safe when im out and i have found even lesbians can be very aggressive about it even saying that transwomen are wrong and that we shouldnt be aloud to use the same toilets . listen up people we are human to so get used to us being here .
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Alexandra Young (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 08/02/2010 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation +0
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Hatred.

You’re no woman, does say the man like demon!
You try to hide the man, but I see right through your plan.
How dare you buck the trend.
For I’ve a good mind to inflict a beating from which you’ll never mend!

Why must you infect the innocent mind?
Boy, how I hate your kind!
I want to live in a straight world full of real men.
Not a Barbie cesspit full of She-men!

You make me sick, you sissy pr**k!
So come on and fight me like a real man.
Prove yourself for once, if you still can?

Ha! I laugh as you try to flee from me in such high heels.
Look, no one is even taking any notice of your pitiful squeals.
Oh, how I look forward to committing your body to yonder fields!

As I stand watching your lifeblood flow upon the tar.
The whole world hates you for what you really are!
So you see it’s my job to stop you, before you take this too far!!!

Poem by: Alexandra Young.

I didn't think I would ever be back on-line writting my personal thoughts for all to read, including those of you I likely will never even know or meet in real life. In many ways it makes no sense to come back on-line and back to my blog http://alextsgirl.blogspot.com/ , but it helps me deal with issues going on in my head when I do turn my thoughts and feelings into words.
The catalyst leading me back to my blog and the printing of my Hatred poem above, is the thought process and feelings I'm going through as a result of taking part in a 'Hate Crime' video being produced by the Central Scotland Police Force. It has brought back many a sad and hurtful memory of an event I prefer to keep supressed. However, my public account will help get the message across to others about the effects of hate crime, and my discomfort will be worth while in the long term.The following account is what I placed down in writing for the Police, and will be the basics of what I say on the video (I likely will also eventually publish the video on my YouTube site):

Alex Story.

My name is Alexandra Young, and I’m now a fully transitioned male to female transsexual woman. I’m a Scot, and in my early 40’s.
I had my gender disphoria issues from as far back as my memory can take me to 4 years old. I remember crying myself to sleep at night wishing I’d wake up as a girl the next morning. I also remember how hard it was for a small feminine boy to get through school on a day to day basis without being bullied by other more typical and macho boys. The only way I could survive within general society had been to try and fit in more as the persona people expected me to be, which had been as a rough and tumble boy who needed to become better playing boy based sports.
My façade improved over the years into teenage years, and adulthood and I eventually managed to fit in a male role that included getting married and having children. Eventually in my late 30’s, I could no longer suppress the inner female me, and had to explore who I really was in more detail. After a long self examining journey, I successfully transitioned with the aid of hormones and surgery into the woman I am today.
The worst hate crime I can remember facing myself, had been back in the days I attended college as a late teenager.
I started my working life off as an Apprentice Joiner, and had to attend college on a day release basis. The guys I had to share classes with had generally been typical boys who seen themselves as being heterosexual men’s men. I on the other hand had still been a very feminine male, and dressed in ‘New Romantic’ style clothing that had been all the rage in the 80’s. Most guys who dressed like that still looked like boys/men, but I looked much more girly, and that did not go down well with my classmates.
The resulting taunts and innuendos I could take, even if at times it was not uncomfortable and not nice. However, it led onto them playing practicable jokes on me, and continually referring to me as 'gay boy', etc. Once I confronted them, and this led to them telling me I was ‘dead meat’ after the classes had finished. Thankfully I managed to slip past them that evening, but they waited for me the next time I attended college.
One boy pulled at my rucksack, and swung me round as I tried to hold onto it. Another boy then started punching me until I fell to the ground. He said you deserved that you 'poofy bastard', and said we will get you later.
I spent a full day in fear of these boys, and never told any lecturer for fear of getting worse treatment as a result.
That evening after college, the biggest of the boys got a hold of me, and beat me senseless using his steel toe capped boots. He kept kicking me till I fell unconscious, and when I woke up, I had blood poring from my mouth and nose, and had lots of lumps on my head. My ear was ringing, and felt very sore from also being hit. My ribs hurt, and I looked a mess. I looked so bad, I did not get on the bus as usual to get home, and instead walked home to my Mums to try and gather my thoughts and work out how to deal with the issue. People looked at me and never offered me any help. In fact, some crossed the road rather than walk past me.
I never felt more alone in my life, and felt very low. I could not tell my parents what was the cause of it all, because I likely would also have to tell them about my gender based issues, which these stupid bullies mistakenly thought was sexually based around homosexuality. I never went to the Police, or told anyone what had really happened for I believed no one would support or understand someone like me. Instead I just had to put up with verbal abuse for the rest of the year at college, until I could move to another class. Thankfully no more beatings came though, as they had made their point.
I became a much more reserved person after the beatings, and pushed myself into more macho male things such as weight lifting, kick boxing, extreme down hill mountain biking, etc. I cut my hair into a shorter number two cut, and successfully hide who I really was for self preservation.
I eventually came to terms with who I really was, and faced everyone who didn’t agree with what I had been doing. No more beatings happened in my later life, but I did have to face extreme bigotry and a general lack of understanding of trans issues from former friends and in-laws.
I believe I am a much better person than I once was as a result of being open about whom I really am. However, I have had to endure a lot of heartache along the way, and all because I happened to be different from the rest of the boys.

Alexandra Young.
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Very interesting film depicting the passing of same-sex marriage legislation within London and the UK in 2013. Worth a look!! http://youtu.be/NZaBse2hrQU
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posted for readers on 06/01/2012 +0
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Well, this is a story, all about how my arse got ripped all up and down and i'd like to take a minute, just jerk off there, ill tell you how i became prince of a queer called piere
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Dear Sir/Madam,
We have just updated our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) guide to resources and support groups available online to be re-launched for the upcoming Tower Hamlets LGBT History Month in the United Kingdom.

Your organisation is featured in this guide.
http://www.absoluterelaxation.co.uk/LGBT

The guide aims to help Teachers, Parents and Students understand and support Young People with LGBT issues.

It contains helpful resources and a wide range of of support groups and links to help those students who are gay, think they might be or for Young People who would like a better understanding of LGBT issues.

Teachers will also find helpful resources to tackle homophobia and bullying in schools.

The pages include lists of support groups and information of LGBT History, Employment Issues, Religion, Health, Parenting, Books and Resources.

Kind regards,
Bernard Hazell
Michael O'Meara
Absolute Relaxation Ltd


"I'm thrilled that Tower Hamlets has compiled this comprehensive and stunning resource"
Sue Sanders, founder LGBT History Month


"It's great to see young people in Tower Hamlets
having access to such a useful resource.
I wish I had been given this information when I was at school.
It's a really cool website."
Peter Tatchell, Human Rights campaigner
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Leeon (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 28/09/2012 +0
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No one on this earth is a good person. You are a sinner! "The is none righteous, no, not one:" - Romans 3:10

Good works, church attendance, baptism, religion will not save you. Only the blood of Jesus Christ can save you from your sins. "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Romans 6:23

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." - 1 Timothy 1:15

Because God loved you so much He sent His Son Jesus Christ into the world to save you from your sins. On this earth He lived a perfect and sinless life, died on the cross, was buried and rose again on the third day. "Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures." - 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

You can be saved right now! "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. - Romans 10:9 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." - Romans 10:13 "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." Acts 16:31 There is only one way and no other way to be saved. "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among me, whereby we must be saved." - Acts 4:12

10 out of 10 people die everyday. What you do with Jesus Christ in this life determines where you will spend eternity, heaven or hell. "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." - John 14:6

IF YOU DIE WITHOUT JESUS CHRIST YOU WILL GO TO HELL!

I'm telling you this to warn you because I care about you.
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