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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in UNITED KINGDOM...
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Ade (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay transgender bisexual intersex readers on 21/02/2014 tagged with human rights
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Qualified as a Master of Arts in Human Rights today ... thanks to fellow members of the LGBTI community who have been supportive to me personally, and also to those who champion our universal human rights. Some Progress ...
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Hi - I wanted to leave you with a mostly positive story, which is nevertheless laced with frustration. I socialised within the gay community from 1886 to 1995, in the UK. The reason was so that I could cope at the time with my 'gender dysphoria' (as it was called) - this led to my full gender change. Later, I effectively moved, though not deliberately, more into the 'straight world' but as a post-op transsexual (M to F). I have managed to work professionally since 1996 in a well-respected role, without anyone knowing. I have not 'come out' - even though I have been in two 'lesbian' relationships during that time. I wanted to state this now because it proves that transgendered people can work well in society. However, the frustration has been that coming out would have ended my career - of that I have no doubt. The number of people who openly castigate gay people and transgendered in particular, to my face, without the slightest idea about me is remarkable. If there is a joke in any of this it is on them - but of course, it's not funny. In my role, I do the best I can to educate people - but it has to be subtle, with small moves... My gay and transgender experiences have been wonderful and I would never go back on them - but it has been a long and hard road. I found I needed to be very resilient. Thanks for reading this.
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Please check out this new book I have co-edited which is FREE ONLINE:
Corinne Lennox and Matthew Waites (eds.)(2013) Human Rights, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in The Commonwealth: Struggles for Decriminalisation and Change (London: School of Advanced Study, University of London) http://commonwealth.sas.ac.uk/publications/house-publications/lgbt-rights-commonwealth
This is the most internationally extensive academic volume on the global struggle for decriminalisation to date, with data on 54 states and chapters giving detail on 16 states. It is also the first book to address LGBTI issues in the Commonwealth of Nations context. Please could ILGA disseminate via all possible global and regional websites, newsletters and other routes.
There is also a Facebook site for the book 'Human Rights, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in The Commonwealth', which can be used for dissemination, please like and share: https://www.facebook.com/HumanRightsSOGICommonwealth?ref=br_tf
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Very interesting film depicting the passing of same-sex marriage legislation within London and the UK in 2013. Worth a look!! http://youtu.be/NZaBse2hrQU
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It's so big of you to report them & then actually get things fixed & now you're improving things for other people, People who may have been victimised just for being who they are. You truly are an inspiration.

Also you picked a great union! My Dad works there :)
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender bisexual readers on 19/06/2011 tagged with lgbt families, hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation, religion +5
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I just don't understand what is wrong with being bisexual / lesbian / gay. I am bisexual, and I just don't see what is wrong with that. How is it even different? Why does it matter?
I can understand why people have been...uneasy, shall we say, since everyone found out I am transgender, but can't they just accept me for who I am, not what I am??? Is it really that hard? I would happily do the same for anyone else.
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Dear Sir/Madam,
We have just updated our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) guide to resources and support groups available online to be re-launched for the upcoming Tower Hamlets LGBT History Month in the United Kingdom.

Your organisation is featured in this guide.
http://www.absoluterelaxation.co.uk/LGBT

The guide aims to help Teachers, Parents and Students understand and support Young People with LGBT issues.

It contains helpful resources and a wide range of of support groups and links to help those students who are gay, think they might be or for Young People who would like a better understanding of LGBT issues.

Teachers will also find helpful resources to tackle homophobia and bullying in schools.

The pages include lists of support groups and information of LGBT History, Employment Issues, Religion, Health, Parenting, Books and Resources.

Kind regards,
Bernard Hazell
Michael O'Meara
Absolute Relaxation Ltd


"I'm thrilled that Tower Hamlets has compiled this comprehensive and stunning resource"
Sue Sanders, founder LGBT History Month


"It's great to see young people in Tower Hamlets
having access to such a useful resource.
I wish I had been given this information when I was at school.
It's a really cool website."
Peter Tatchell, Human Rights campaigner
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ola awoyemi (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for bisexual readers on 12/09/2010 tagged with human rights
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Dear Sir/ Ma

I am writing to you with the hope that you could on my behalf find out whether any progress has been made with my application considering its been almost 2years(asylum application was put in for me October 2008) The UKBA have been in possession of sufficient evidence to make a decision for some time now.

When my former MP contacted UKBA in March 2010. In the response sent to me, Border Agency claimed those recorded delivery documents were not received. In April 2010, my lawyer had since sent another copies for Border Agency even with that no step has been taken to reach a decision on my application.

I am not receiving any asylum support, my lawyer till now had been requesting I be granted permission to work while my application is still been process and we are still waiting for a response.

We need people to get involved in this situation, anyway they can. The aim is to put some for of pressure on the UKBA-Home Office & my case owner to proceed with making a decision on my case and not continue to leave her in limbo. 10years is a really long time to have to endure the anxiety, inhumane & psychological abuse and have to be living as destitute.
Thank you for even taking your time to read and I look forward to your response

Yours truly,
Olasimbo Awoyemi

my on-line petition<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petition/38993.html">Online petition - Help end the inhumane & psychological abuse of Ola Awoyemi
help end the inhumane & psychological abuse of Ola Awoyemi



Published by olasimbo awoyemi on Sep 10, 2010
Category: Government
Region: United Kingdom
Target: United Kingdom Border Agency(UKBA) & Home Secretary
Web site: http://www.uklgig.org.uk
Background (Preamble):
Ms Awoyemi identifies as bisexual and this is a fundamental part of her identity, she is open about her sexuality in the UK, something that would not be possible were she to return to Nigeria where she would e required to conceal her sexual identity purely to avoid persecution.

Also she has established a private and family life over the last 10 years in the United Kingdom that would not be possible to maintain were she to be returned to Nigeria. She was detained when returning from road trip to Belfast, made the arresting officer that she had been in UK for long & had pending application at Home Office, still she was forced to sign an asylum application. As an asylum seeker in London (United Kingdom) whose application has been left unattended and its destroying her. We need people to get involved in her case anyway they can.

The aim is to put some for of pressure on the UKBA-Home Office & her case owner to proceed with making a decision on her case and not continue to leave her in limbo.
Petition:
We, the undersigned, call on the Home Secretary, UK Border Agency to make a decision on Olasimbo Awoyemi’s asylum claim immediately as you have been in possession of sufficient evidence to make a decision for some time now.

Meantime Ms Awoyemi should be granted permission to work, given her claim has been outstanding for over a year.</a>
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Fertility Road (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 24/06/2010 tagged with adoption, lgbt families, health, human rights, marriage / civil unions
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SAME SEX SURROGACY - Feature in the next issue of Fertility Road (www.fertilityroad.com). First Lifestyle Fertility Magazine! We are happy to announce that we are working together with Pride Angel to provide a fantastic resource for all the gay community that have an interest in becoming parents.For more information please visit Fertility Road website..
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Ivor (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 19/06/2010 tagged with tourism, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation +5
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Transsexual asked to leave Glenuig B&B; in Inverness Scotland for dressing as a woman.

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/3002222/Glenuig-House-bed-and-breakfast-tells-transvestite-guest-to-leave.html#mySunComments
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Josie (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 24/05/2010 tagged with teaching lgbt rights in schools, human rights
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While where I live there is very positive feedback when talking about homosexual issues, there is a very high level of transphobia due to the opinion that we are well educated, and therefore the fact that transphobia has not been addressed means that transgendered people are not recognised as 'normal' in our society. The lack of education in schools is shocking, and even when some education is given, it is often presented in a crude way.

In a school lesson "We're going to watch a video on some boys who want to dress like girls" - this shows the lack of education and training given to teachers who are meant to help students form an open and well rounded opinion of minority groups.

If I'm honest, the reason for this is probably lack of resources. The main resources provider, the main group that receives funding from the government has only recently begun to accept transgender issues as connected with LGB groups. In fact, their website still states "LGB" minus the T for our Transgendered members.

We have a very good education on LGB issues in this country.. surely we should be setting the example for the rest by recognising and supporting trans members of our community?


We've come a long way in the last few years, but what angers me is the fact that most of our society, most of the people I interact with, they seem to think there's nothing left to do. That we've got rights, we shouldn't need to do any more campaigning. They think we're just picking up on little things that don't matter any more.

... So what about trans?

Although there are laws in place that do protect trans people, the education is missing. The education is vital. We're stuck in this rut without it.
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Zoe Bremer (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian straight readers on 17/04/2010 tagged with human rights, religion +5
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I attended the Annual Meetings of the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free Christian Churches last weekend (8th-11th April), which took place at Nottingham University. Anyone wishing to know what happened can find out in THE INQUIRER, the national Unitarian newspaper, or contact Essex Hall, www.unitarian.org.uk (Tel. +44-(0)20 7240 2384).
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Alexandra Young (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 08/02/2010 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation +0
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Hatred.

You’re no woman, does say the man like demon!
You try to hide the man, but I see right through your plan.
How dare you buck the trend.
For I’ve a good mind to inflict a beating from which you’ll never mend!

Why must you infect the innocent mind?
Boy, how I hate your kind!
I want to live in a straight world full of real men.
Not a Barbie cesspit full of She-men!

You make me sick, you sissy pr**k!
So come on and fight me like a real man.
Prove yourself for once, if you still can?

Ha! I laugh as you try to flee from me in such high heels.
Look, no one is even taking any notice of your pitiful squeals.
Oh, how I look forward to committing your body to yonder fields!

As I stand watching your lifeblood flow upon the tar.
The whole world hates you for what you really are!
So you see it’s my job to stop you, before you take this too far!!!

Poem by: Alexandra Young.

I didn't think I would ever be back on-line writting my personal thoughts for all to read, including those of you I likely will never even know or meet in real life. In many ways it makes no sense to come back on-line and back to my blog http://alextsgirl.blogspot.com/ , but it helps me deal with issues going on in my head when I do turn my thoughts and feelings into words.
The catalyst leading me back to my blog and the printing of my Hatred poem above, is the thought process and feelings I'm going through as a result of taking part in a 'Hate Crime' video being produced by the Central Scotland Police Force. It has brought back many a sad and hurtful memory of an event I prefer to keep supressed. However, my public account will help get the message across to others about the effects of hate crime, and my discomfort will be worth while in the long term.The following account is what I placed down in writing for the Police, and will be the basics of what I say on the video (I likely will also eventually publish the video on my YouTube site):

Alex Story.

My name is Alexandra Young, and I’m now a fully transitioned male to female transsexual woman. I’m a Scot, and in my early 40’s.
I had my gender disphoria issues from as far back as my memory can take me to 4 years old. I remember crying myself to sleep at night wishing I’d wake up as a girl the next morning. I also remember how hard it was for a small feminine boy to get through school on a day to day basis without being bullied by other more typical and macho boys. The only way I could survive within general society had been to try and fit in more as the persona people expected me to be, which had been as a rough and tumble boy who needed to become better playing boy based sports.
My façade improved over the years into teenage years, and adulthood and I eventually managed to fit in a male role that included getting married and having children. Eventually in my late 30’s, I could no longer suppress the inner female me, and had to explore who I really was in more detail. After a long self examining journey, I successfully transitioned with the aid of hormones and surgery into the woman I am today.
The worst hate crime I can remember facing myself, had been back in the days I attended college as a late teenager.
I started my working life off as an Apprentice Joiner, and had to attend college on a day release basis. The guys I had to share classes with had generally been typical boys who seen themselves as being heterosexual men’s men. I on the other hand had still been a very feminine male, and dressed in ‘New Romantic’ style clothing that had been all the rage in the 80’s. Most guys who dressed like that still looked like boys/men, but I looked much more girly, and that did not go down well with my classmates.
The resulting taunts and innuendos I could take, even if at times it was not uncomfortable and not nice. However, it led onto them playing practicable jokes on me, and continually referring to me as 'gay boy', etc. Once I confronted them, and this led to them telling me I was ‘dead meat’ after the classes had finished. Thankfully I managed to slip past them that evening, but they waited for me the next time I attended college.
One boy pulled at my rucksack, and swung me round as I tried to hold onto it. Another boy then started punching me until I fell to the ground. He said you deserved that you 'poofy bastard', and said we will get you later.
I spent a full day in fear of these boys, and never told any lecturer for fear of getting worse treatment as a result.
That evening after college, the biggest of the boys got a hold of me, and beat me senseless using his steel toe capped boots. He kept kicking me till I fell unconscious, and when I woke up, I had blood poring from my mouth and nose, and had lots of lumps on my head. My ear was ringing, and felt very sore from also being hit. My ribs hurt, and I looked a mess. I looked so bad, I did not get on the bus as usual to get home, and instead walked home to my Mums to try and gather my thoughts and work out how to deal with the issue. People looked at me and never offered me any help. In fact, some crossed the road rather than walk past me.
I never felt more alone in my life, and felt very low. I could not tell my parents what was the cause of it all, because I likely would also have to tell them about my gender based issues, which these stupid bullies mistakenly thought was sexually based around homosexuality. I never went to the Police, or told anyone what had really happened for I believed no one would support or understand someone like me. Instead I just had to put up with verbal abuse for the rest of the year at college, until I could move to another class. Thankfully no more beatings came though, as they had made their point.
I became a much more reserved person after the beatings, and pushed myself into more macho male things such as weight lifting, kick boxing, extreme down hill mountain biking, etc. I cut my hair into a shorter number two cut, and successfully hide who I really was for self preservation.
I eventually came to terms with who I really was, and faced everyone who didn’t agree with what I had been doing. No more beatings happened in my later life, but I did have to face extreme bigotry and a general lack of understanding of trans issues from former friends and in-laws.
I believe I am a much better person than I once was as a result of being open about whom I really am. However, I have had to endure a lot of heartache along the way, and all because I happened to be different from the rest of the boys.

Alexandra Young.
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