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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
Share your experiences in UNITED KINGDOM - Let others know what it’s like to be LGBTI in your country! If an experience is meaningful for you, it will probably be meaningful for someone else. On whatever topic, whether good or bad, your story is how the world knows about your country and LGBTI life. By selecting tags that mark the topic your story, others can learn from your experience.
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in UNITED KINGDOM...
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Dr Jane Andrews (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for readers on 02/04/2014 tagged with gender identity
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Transgendered Isolation
A short essay for the public
April 2013
Internal Isolation
The usual reaction to the initial realisation of gender dysphoria is one of self-denial. It is a shock to realise that you desire to be of the opposite gender. This is quickly followed by feelings of shame, guilt and fear. Shame that you are not able to be part of the gender that you were assigned at birth, guilt that this is something that should be suppressed and, fear that one will be found out.
The fear of your peers and their reactions also meant that these feelings were further suppressed . Finally, there is disbelief that this could be possible, how can it be that I a normal healthy boy, could want to be a girl?
Much later I realised that I was not gay, and I feared the idea of being attracted to men, these fears passed with transition.
All this initial experience leads very suddenly to isolation. One can become withdrawn, shy, bullied and depressed. The ensuing lack of self-confidence means that one stands on the outside of one’s social network, and indeed the population at large.
Who do you talk to, what do you say, do you even want to talk about it?, the first temptation is to talk to a close friend, but the risk of losing their friendship or of incurring their wrath usually means that this is not an option until much later.
The idea of talking to parents, doctors or school teachers is so full of trepidation that it is often impossible. So the early seeds of isolation are sewn and as the years go by the sense of shame becomes ever greater.
The child with gender dysphoria is often extremely sensitive and withdrawn, coping with their situation often involves cunning, deceit and solitude. So they become isolated and lonesome. They will have few friends - if any, and will prefer their own company.
It is not that long ago since transexualism was unheard of and, if diagnosed often involved mental institutions and electric shock treatment. So even if the individual was aware of the condition, openly confessing to the same was not something to be taken at all lightly. Only with enlightenment has the situation improved, to the point where now there is compassionate and understanding
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treatment. Part of the reluctance to speak out was the perception that one would have to somehow convince others that one was in earnest and sincere. This could be seen as a daunting, uphill battle that put many off from speaking out.
Even today, the emphasis on sex, orientation and other sexual conditions far out way the gender issue of gender dysphoria. This imbalance of view is most unhelpful to both the client and the clinician. The emphasis should be on the gender aspect of the condition not the sexual characteristics of the client.
Domestic Isolation
Further isolation and suppression is brought about by the domestic situation of the individual. Parents can be hostile to gender dysphoria and find it almost impossible to accept that one of their own could be a victim. The fear of the parents reactions mean that the client will often say nothing until much later in life. This is a mistake, but understandable. Brothers and sisters also pose threats to our client, few will be able to understand or accept the situation. The prospect of bullying and ridicule put off any hope of coming out.
Then there is the larger family, in-laws Aunts, Uncles, cousins and so on, they all have to accept the situation or there will be tensions within the family group. There are friends and neighbours who will all have opinions and views which may well be hostile. And so the pressures mount, and our gender dysphoric child is expected to take on these responsibilities by stating that they wish to be a girl or a boy. Clearly, even the most confident and out going individual is going to be challenged by such a weight of responsibility.
For those later in life, often they are married with children, more issues with which to grapple. Partners who were unaware of the condition rarely are supportive of the individual, and children can be difficult to keep on side. Even if the partner is supportive, there is still the business of telling family members and hoping for their support. All too often family support is withdrawn and hurtful family situations can and do arise. Loss of family and especially children is one of the main reasons so many gender dysphoric clients leave coming out until late in life.
So the isolation of our individual is almost complete. They can be ensconced in a family with other children or with children of their own and, yet be totally isolated, alone in a crowd. Unable to socialise or converse even at the most basic level, and so will seek their own company. Many attempt to out strip the gender dysphoric feelings by getting married, having children, joining the army or other services, appearing overtly male, (in the case of male to female transgender), But mostly the gender dysphoria will out, and by then the damage is done.
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So we have touched on the “self” and the “domestic”, but later in life comes the public situation.
Public Isolation
Our individual has somehow survived the “self” and the “domestic”, but later they are faced with the “public” context of gender dysphoria. If employed then the employer has to be made aware of the situation. This can mean several things. Loss of job, lower earnings or demotion. Today we are blessed with legislation which protects against discrimination, but that was not always the case. Even today it can be a lengthy fight to protect our rights. Fortunately much has changed for the better, but still there is the trauma of telling employer and work colleagues of the impending change that is going to take place. This leads on to friends and social groups, they all have to know and what has until now been an intensely private and suppressed condition is now suddenly threatening to go “public”.
For younger individuals, the head teacher or member of staff and, all their friends will soon know of the change. This can lead to bullying, discrimination and ostracising of the individual.
For some the whole prospect of going public is just too much, so it is put off until a later date. Friends can be another cause for isolation, all too often they reject the individual and the friendships break down. Although there is definitely more awareness of gender dysphoria now than ever before, there are still barriers to acceptance and integration, and our client knows this.
All too soon other things start to become of great importance, the voice, the beard, the G.P., N.H.S. Funding, Transphobic attacks, privacy and fears, all these things, which up until now have not been particularly important take on new and worrying dimensions.
So the public isolation of our client becomes clear. Suddenly how our voice sounds becomes of ever greater importance, strenuous efforts are made to overcome years of overtly male/ female speaking. The beard takes on new proportions of ugliness, making a feminine appearance all but impossible. The family G.P. suddenly becomes a close ally hopefully in referral for treatment and the prescribing of the all important hormones, N.H.S. funding becomes a new topic of intense interest, as treatment for gender dysphoria is progressed, and Transphobic attacks are something of an innate interest since now one is a potential victim.
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The desire for privacy now becomes almost obsessive as more and more of our true self is put in the public domain. The only thing which our client desires is acceptance, not the prissy, overtly patronising but plain simple acceptance. This is who I am, and I just want a life.
Resultant Isolation ( over 60’s)
Much later in life, all these pressures to being isolated have a cumulative effect. The main problem is one of self-confidence, quickly followed by a sense of low self-worth. By now, if all the obstacles to becoming one’s self has been overcome, one can still be left with a sense of little self-worth, and even less self-confidence, family has all but gone, friends have long since disappeared retirement looms and one’s social circle is small if extant at all. Basically we are alone, frightened persecuted and vulnerable. For many the home is their safety, and if that is safe then we are safe, stepping outside the home on the other hand offers many fears and anxieties. Have we got the voice right, has the years of electrolysis worked, is our appearance one of integration, are we safe, safe from physical and verbal abuse, are we a target, do we inadvertently make our home a target, or our car or personal possessions. Are we an object of ridicule, are we accepted?.
All these issues add to the sense of isolation that many feel, the lack of a social life is possibly the worst of all to bear if you crave acceptance and company. Being alone can seem as if one has failed, failed to make the grade as a human being, and it adds further to the sense of isolation that one experiences.
The loss of family and friends is a bitter blow for anybody, but for the Transgendered it is particularly hard, for they have done nothing wrong, only to have been blighted by gender dysphoria. Coming to terms with this condition is in itself a triumph, being accepted by the wider community is the icing on the cake. So if one has been able to accept who they really are, then half the battle is won. It is for the rest of the world to catch up, and recognise that these men and women are just that, men and women.
External Isolation
The media,( T.V., radio, newspapers) have a lot to answer for. Their portrayal of the Transgendered community is often overtly offensive and derisory. There are exceptions, Channel 4’s My Transsexual Summer was a fair insight into the lives of these brave men and women. And ITV’s My Dad is My Mum was particularly well done. But sadly these examples are all too rare, leaving the Transgendered isolated from public life. Public awareness is so important to us, but the right type of awareness, mini skirted trannies clubbing and drunk do no-one any good, but it makes for good T.V..
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The public are not stupid, they respond to the well-meaning and the decent, it is this sort of awareness that we should encourage. The work of the many groups and charities for the trans community should get more support from the media, and more public awareness. In this way we will reach our goal of acceptance.
Government legislation has gone a long way towards encouraging more Transgendered individuals to come out. The Gender Recognition Certificate is of particular importance, allowing us to assume the full identity of who we really are, with the redrafting of our birth certificates and rights to pensions it all helps to make us the integrated citizens that we truly are. Of course there is a long way to go, but progress is being made, and thanks here are due to Press For Change and the hard work they do on our behalf.
Commercial acceptance is also of the greatest importance, for it would include us, not isolate us. If the thousands of shops, pubs and clubs would encourage us to use the “ladies”, (or the gents), as our demeanour dictates, then life could be so much simpler, if the staff at these establishments were gender aware, how much more pleasant would be our experience, and how much more we would spend!, if the assistant were to call us madam (or sir) as our presence dictates, how much more included would we feel.
Conclusion
There are ways to help reduce the isolation felt by so many Transgendered individuals. More public awareness and education would be of great help, schools should also enlighten their students, and funding for the many charities and organisations should be increased. The media also have a role to play, in responsibly publicising the issues of gender dysphoria.
Gender Action UK is there to help others, be they in childhood, at school or college, at work or unemployed and retired. It is a charity which has premises in the Medway Towns, membership is from as little as £100 per year. Members are welcome to come along to their weekly meetings drop-in sessions on a Wednesday, GAUK works closely with the NHS, the local authority and the police, as well as schools and colleges in the area.
There are many other organisations and charities who work to offer support, too many to list here, but if individuals contact GAUK, (01634 723339), or view our website: www.gauk.org, then we can put them in touch.
So there really is no need to struggle on alone, isolated and afraid, there are
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many routes out of isolation but the initial contact has to be made by the individual, this is why it is so important that funding for publicity and rent is made available to charities and organisations.
Jane Andrews MBA BA (Hons)
April 2013
01634 723339
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for readers on 26/03/2014 tagged with marriage / civil unions
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London LGBT choir releases video to celebrate UK's first same-sex marriages

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRpfcP5cwYw
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 22/02/2014
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Read my facebook page Martin Passow
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Ade (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay transgender bisexual intersex readers on 21/02/2014 tagged with human rights
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Qualified as a Master of Arts in Human Rights today ... thanks to fellow members of the LGBTI community who have been supportive to me personally, and also to those who champion our universal human rights. Some Progress ...
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Hi - I wanted to leave you with a mostly positive story, which is nevertheless laced with frustration. I socialised within the gay community from 1886 to 1995, in the UK. The reason was so that I could cope at the time with my 'gender dysphoria' (as it was called) - this led to my full gender change. Later, I effectively moved, though not deliberately, more into the 'straight world' but as a post-op transsexual (M to F). I have managed to work professionally since 1996 in a well-respected role, without anyone knowing. I have not 'come out' - even though I have been in two 'lesbian' relationships during that time. I wanted to state this now because it proves that transgendered people can work well in society. However, the frustration has been that coming out would have ended my career - of that I have no doubt. The number of people who openly castigate gay people and transgendered in particular, to my face, without the slightest idea about me is remarkable. If there is a joke in any of this it is on them - but of course, it's not funny. In my role, I do the best I can to educate people - but it has to be subtle, with small moves... My gay and transgender experiences have been wonderful and I would never go back on them - but it has been a long and hard road. I found I needed to be very resilient. Thanks for reading this.
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Nicole (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for straight readers on 04/02/2014
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Am here to thank this powerful Sorcerer called Dr.Agbazara who made me and my love to come back to each other after a very long time of broke up, her complain was am not good in bed and i can't satisfy his sexual huge. He divorce me And he left me for another woman,until the day I saw good comment about Dr.AGBAZARA TEMPLE but now that i have found this man called Dr.Agbazara all is well now and he is back to me now after 48hours spell he casted for me . Contact him today for your relationship problem today via email:

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omar (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 01/12/2013 tagged with lgbt families
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Its me omar, last three year ago come from Bangladesh to UK. But when I live in Bangladesh that time I hide my sex.because if I published my sex I face family ,social descrimination a
nd 10 years to up to death.now I am openly gay in uk. But two year ago when my family know my sex as I am gay than they are already breakup relationship with me.
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Please check out this new book I have co-edited which is FREE ONLINE:
Corinne Lennox and Matthew Waites (eds.)(2013) Human Rights, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in The Commonwealth: Struggles for Decriminalisation and Change (London: School of Advanced Study, University of London) http://commonwealth.sas.ac.uk/publications/house-publications/lgbt-rights-commonwealth
This is the most internationally extensive academic volume on the global struggle for decriminalisation to date, with data on 54 states and chapters giving detail on 16 states. It is also the first book to address LGBTI issues in the Commonwealth of Nations context. Please could ILGA disseminate via all possible global and regional websites, newsletters and other routes.
There is also a Facebook site for the book 'Human Rights, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in The Commonwealth', which can be used for dissemination, please like and share: https://www.facebook.com/HumanRightsSOGICommonwealth?ref=br_tf
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Dean MacKinnon-Thomson (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 13/11/2013 tagged with gender identity, sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions +5
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Privacy, acceptance and just plain rudeness...

I was eating out with some friends last week, tapas and red wine, all very casual when the conversation shifted strangely. Now don't get me wrong, they didn't mean to be offensive, rude or generally far too nosy, but still...
So there we are, and one of my very good female friends I've known for a little over a year now asks me about my date with a (really hot) Egyptian dentist. Now, innocent enough right? Nope, she wanted to know which of us was 'the top'. This quickly became the hot topic of our dinner discussion: namely my sexual preferences with a maybe-perhaps partner.

I can practically hear people reading this and shouting, 'what is wrong with any of that?' But let me reverse this for the benefit of the ethically impaired heterosexual majority. What if us gay people decided it was 'casual conversation' for us to know if you prefer anal or oral sex with your partner? Suddenly it becomes a little bit more personal, and a little less fair game doesn't it?

Is it just a novelty factor?

Does our society really accept this? Or is this just cultural impetus devoid of moral learning?

I try to convince myself this is probably a good sign. That in polite society, in busy restaurants and even among relative strangers the 'taboo' aspect of my sexual orientation has dissipated. That said, can I ask: when the fuck will the novelty of having a gay friend wear off?

Culturally we've come a long way, even in my short 24 year lifetime. I've seen the age of consent become equalised, civil partnerships become the norm, section 28 become history (in the UK at least)... oh... and Conservative PMs introducing equality in marriage for us (who'd have thought it!)

And I wonder if this massive shift in public acceptance of all things 'gay' has unintentionally left straight peoples sense of decorum behind. Is my being gay, and loving to hold, kiss, and fornicate with my fellow males of the species really still so 'in'? From Sex & the City, through to more recent programmes like 'Vicious' we see the popularisation of my sexuality. Crikey, Tesco was caught selling 'GBF dolls' for young boys and girls (that's Gay Best Friend for those out of 'the know'). But is this a sign of the accepting times? Or is this the commercialisation of my sexual orientation?

No, I'm not over-reacting at any of this. I can tell you, being able to hold hands in public with your lover and not have people give a crap is wonderful. Being able to enjoy legal equality is empowering. And knowing well over 2/3 of my fellow citizens think I'm born normal is thrilling.

But let me tell you what isn't: being reduced to a comedy doll item for prepubescent kids. Or having some of the most personal aspects of my love life become casual fair game conversation. Or even seeing the name of my orientation 'gay' become a synonym for negativity, un-coolness or freakishness.

Thus: is this widely felt British public acceptance genuine? Or just a novelty factor soon to wear off?

The moral of the piece...

The lesson of this piece is simple. If you think we're normal just like you heterosexuals then why not treat us like it? Boundaries are wonderful things, and yes, even gay partnerships enjoy them. We aren't all drama queens with limp wrists just baying at the leash to spout all utilitarian-happy about our latest squeeze. Sex & the City stereotypes aren't real; but gay couples appreciation of boundaries are.
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Time to show a true leadership on same-sex marriage bill
Niranjan Kamatkar & Subodh Rathod
http://epaper.asian-voice.com/PUBLICATIONS/AV/AV/2013/07/06/ArticleHtmls/Time-to-show-a-true-leadership-on-same-06072013027009.shtml?Mode=1
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Very interesting film depicting the passing of same-sex marriage legislation within London and the UK in 2013. Worth a look!! http://youtu.be/NZaBse2hrQU
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(user currently living in CAMEROON) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 31/03/2013 tagged with lgbt families
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john, if you want to see homophobias then let invite you to my country cameroon where i live.
you certainly will be served.
if you are interested then let me know through this same forum and we will exchange ids and get to venture together
witing to read from you as soon as received.
fleur
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I left the UK in 2011, to travel around the world with my civil partner, we are still on the road and there is no end to our journey. I must say we have not experienced any hate crimes or homophobia on our trip so far. You can see the countries we visited and follow our journey around the world at our travel blog http://flashpackatforty.com/
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crazyandkirst (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender bisexual intersex readers on 14/03/2013 tagged with intersex, gender identity, sexual orientation
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Kirsty tries out different looks at the early stages of her transexual transition

<a>http://www.livingwithatransgender.com/transexualkirsty-experiments-2/>/a></a>
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crazyandkirst (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender bisexual readers on 14/03/2013 tagged with intersex, at the work place, gender identity, sexual orientation
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Read about the story of Steven transitioning to Kirsty

<a>http://www.livingwithatransgender.com/why-transexual-steven-preferred-barbie-to-ken/</a>
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Dominic Davies (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 23/01/2013 tagged with lgbt families, health, gender identity, sexual orientation
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International Summer School
In July 2013, We are going to be running for the 4th year, our International Summer School 8-13th July 2013. In previous years we've had people from Brazil, Colombia, Croatia, Denmark, Eire, Hungary, Italy, Latvia, Poland, Portugal, Scotland, Serbia, Singapore, Spain, Thailand, Turkey, USA.

The five day non-residential course will be held in central London and is aimed at counsellors and psychologists and others engaged in mental health support work across the world who wish to update themselves in contemporary thinking around work with LGBT people.

Places are strictly limited and early application is advised as we expect this course to be filled up quickly. We welcome people of all genders and sexual orientations from across the World.

Full details are on our website http://www.pinktherapy.com/Training/tabid/82/ctl/ViewCourse/mid/422/CourseId/118/language/en-GB/Default.aspx

Pink Therapy is the UK's largest independent specialist therapy training organisation and has been running for 14 years. Our website hosts the Directory of Pink Therapists an online database of LGBT friendly counsellors/psychotherapists. We welcome therapists overseas who wish to list their practices advertising with us. We also have an extensive KNOWLEDGE base of recommended books and articles. and an International Library of some of our most recent papers have been translated by a team of volunteers into most of the world's major languages and you can download them for free here:
http://www.pinktherapy.com/en-gb/knowledge/translations.aspx
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Tamhewt (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 27/12/2012 tagged with intersex, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion
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Good, at least if I'm in hell, I'll be warm and far away from your homophobic ramblings. Many people on other country's pages have explained personal experiences or supported one another, you however choose to tarnish the UK's page with bigotry and hate.

As for caring about me, I don't want/ask you to and I certainly do not need it. I do not believe in any God(s) either and reject your beliefs which you attempt to force upon me.

The UK is on the whole a tolerant country for LGBTI people (although not perfect, like many countries).
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holly (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers in response to this story on 23/11/2012 tagged with lgbt families, hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity
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they can say all they want about us tg to be honest they can point and stare at us all we have to do is ignore them and hold our heads high and walk tall . same for l,g,bs ignore the comments no matter what people say hold your haeds high and walk tall . eventually it will stop because they will get bored .

all my best holly tgirl
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holly (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for lesbian transgender readers in response to this story on 18/11/2012 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, sexual orientation
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you have done a good and brave thing coming out and showing in public especcially with the way people are about us transgenders. all i can say to them is we are human to and we are not going anywhere so they had best get used to it .
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holly (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 17/11/2012 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention +4
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i am 24 and im transgender . i have known i am since i was very young i am awaiting treatment to become female and have found people are very judgmental about it , i dont feel safe when im out and i have found even lesbians can be very aggressive about it even saying that transwomen are wrong and that we shouldnt be aloud to use the same toilets . listen up people we are human to so get used to us being here .
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Leeon (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 28/09/2012 +0
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No one on this earth is a good person. You are a sinner! "The is none righteous, no, not one:" - Romans 3:10

Good works, church attendance, baptism, religion will not save you. Only the blood of Jesus Christ can save you from your sins. "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." - Romans 6:23

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." - 1 Timothy 1:15

Because God loved you so much He sent His Son Jesus Christ into the world to save you from your sins. On this earth He lived a perfect and sinless life, died on the cross, was buried and rose again on the third day. "Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures." - 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

You can be saved right now! "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. - Romans 10:9 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." - Romans 10:13 "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." Acts 16:31 There is only one way and no other way to be saved. "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among me, whereby we must be saved." - Acts 4:12

10 out of 10 people die everyday. What you do with Jesus Christ in this life determines where you will spend eternity, heaven or hell. "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." - John 14:6

IF YOU DIE WITHOUT JESUS CHRIST YOU WILL GO TO HELL!

I'm telling you this to warn you because I care about you.
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Gay Nights UK (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 15/08/2012 tagged with tourism, lgbt families, marriage / civil unions
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WELCOME TO GAY NIGHTS UK!!!
We are the UK's first and only National events company that specialise in organising weekend party packages for gay men, women and their friends! Whatever the occasion, Gay Nights UK is perfect for celebrations such as birthdays, hag parties, corporate events, team building, reunions, anniversaries and much more!

Our company aim is to create a new tradition known as a 'hag' party which is a unique celebration for same sex couples about to celebrate their civil partnership or gay marriage. Hag parties can involve both men and women at the same time which generally consist of friends, family and of course both of the grooms or brides to be!!! Wave goodbye to the old fashioned stag or hen party and say hello to the ultra modern Hag party! The revolution is here!

Party packages for your celebrations are available in the following UK cities: Bournemouth, Brighton, London, Cardiff, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Blackpool, Newcastle & Glasgow!

No matter what your group size, Gay Nights UK will take the stress out of organising your perfect weekend away which gives you plenty of time to sort out your big day! Choose from the many packages on offer which are suitable for every budget and taste. Don't worry if you don't see anything you like as we can create your very own bespoke package!

Here at Gay Nights UK we like to take the time with each and every group that books with us so we can make sure we offer you exactly what you want. We talk over the phone to every group organiser to find out their individual requirements. Unlike other companies out there we do not treat you as just a number or deal with you only by email. We care about our reputation and we care about you!

Why not take a look at the various packages on offer right now. Here at Gay Nights UK we make it simple and stress free to book your weekend celebration in some of the best cities in the United Kingdom!

Check out the website today and receive a 10% discount off your booking! www.gaynightsuk.co.uk
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Mark van Laarhoven (user currently living in NETHERLANDS) posted for gay readers on 23/05/2012 tagged with at the work place +4
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Watch out for Mantrav Engeland. Unfortunately Mantrav UK is scamming collegeaus abroad concerning their Club Mancha situation. I have a gaytravel agency in the Netherlands and I have booked Club Mancha for the beginning of 2012. The park did not exist at that time en my client moved to a real gaybungalowpark. As Mantrav is the biggest gaytouroperator in the UK you should expect an honest and reliable settlement. No Mantrav is scamming their collegaues in the gayscene. After many, many emails, question etc. I haven't still seen my money. The refund department doesn't even repy on email anymore. It is unbelievable that they act this way. So I wanne warn everybody world wide. Don't book with Mantrav. You cannot trust them. They put letters on their websit with reliable explanations as they say but meanwhile they do not reply on emails and give no refunds. Regards, Mark van Laarhoven. Freedom Travel. The Netherlands.
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ismail (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 19/05/2012 +4
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I am gay currently being detained in the united kingdom fighting against deportation to country which is fighting against gay people(uganda). the immigration judge accepted that i was gay but she said i will be safe when am returned to uganda to a country which is against homophobic.it looks like there is no more human rights within the world cause am being forced to go back to the where i am at risk of my life.
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 30/04/2012
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From the margin to the mainstream..
Niranjan Kamatkar, GFEST Artistic Director reflects on the impact of society’s slowly changing attitudes towards homosexuality on LGBTQI artists.

Consultation on the ‘Gay marriage’ Bill has opened up an opportunity for society to look at sexualities and gender prejudices in a way that some among us may not have done before. Opportunities are important: I have been noticing comments among Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, Queer and Intersex (LGBTQI) communities about the need for wider understanding of gender identities. People who think they are liberal and support the ‘gay cause’ – and more specifically in the arts – may be in for some surprises at their own perceptions and prejudices.

At GFEST – Gaywise FESTival , an LGBTQI cross arts event in London, we have witnessed a broad diversity of artistic content. But how do we look at a female artist’s work celebrating the ‘gay marriage’ of a white gay male couple? What about two trans women? How about the celebration of one white and one non-white women getting married? We all have views on homosexuality, sexual orientation and ideas about what defines a cohesive family unit, and media exposure can shape and influence these views. In recent years much more media coverage has been dedicated to diverse issues surrounding social changes and legal protection that affects LGBTQI people, but how successfully do the arts media (including mainstream news or media arts journalism) cover these issues to truly celebrate the works of the artists?

In theory, contemporary art created by LGBTQI practitioners will be exposed to the same degree of access, critique and opportunities as the mainstream art. In practice though, successful journeys for LGBTQI art works may prove more elusive due to fears that the physicality or directness of LGBTQI themes will shock and provoke objections among mainstream audiences. There have been instances of mainstream arts venues celebrating LGBTQI artworks but they are few and far between. The large body of work is still waiting to be showcased in venues with higher profile. Investment to create LGBTIQ artworks is a key issue, so innovation, creating critical vocabulary, marketing and reaching new audiences remains problematic. There is no single LGBTQI arts and culture ‘lobby’. There are organisations and passionate individuals who are doing excellent work, but most of us are still under resourced. Funders increasingly need to demonstrate that they reach out to tackle marginalisation, so that vulnerable LGBTQI artists can get their fair share of attention.

A number of people may wonder why ‘Same- Sex Marriage’ is an issue for the arts? The arts can exist and creativity can flourish without a specific social mandate (like marriage), without boundaries. But whilst for some the angst of inequality is the stimulus to creating a work of art, this is not the case for all and it is vital that opportunities to pursue creative avenues are not blocked by social perceptions. Life, in whatever situation, offers us enough to feed into our creativity – without needing the stimulus of being treated unequally because of our sexual orientation and/or gender identity. ‘Same-Sex Marriage’ will see British society slowly changes its attitude towards homosexuality. It is not about the word ‘marriage’ but about the acceptance of ‘equality in all walks of life’. It can and will influence long-term structures in sectors such as art and culture. More collaborative initiatives will take place to encourage development between LGBTQI artists across ethnicity groups, cultural origins, sexualities and age ranges, and more young LGBTQI artists at crossroads in their careers will seek guidance and gain the confidence to generate or exchange high quality artistic ideas, collaborations and creative developments.

Oscar Wilde said: “A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.” I think the challenges posed in a Same Sex marriage will offer that uniqueness to LGBTQI artists and the wider arts, benefiting audiences everywhere.

GFEST announced call for 2012 entries on web: www.gaywisefestival.org.uk
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posted for readers on 28/01/2012
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Hello
AM UDEH IFEANYI UDEH. AM A PROUD GAY.
19yrs, From NIGERIAN .am a young vibrate cool and gentle. Caring and loving person
am strong and intelligent. And a student.
Reliable and honest. and i believe that age is not a guarantee to maturity and its just a number
we all no the bad and recent Law in ma country Nigeria Against Same-sex and any1 caught in the act will go to jail for 14yrs with hard labor. My parent threaten to take me to the police if i didnâ&euro;&trade;t stop being gay and report me to my hometown, I have been maltreated cos am gay. and i just cant stop cos it is in me ,am living with it and i love it cos it is part of me and am very very happy that am gay and am HIV positive . It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.
Am not trying to escape from ma sexual orientation just bcos of that ,but i want to live freely in a country that am known with, that will accept my lifestyle ,am Gay and am proud of it cos God was not blind when he created me. am not the creator of myself.pls if u can assist me in anyway i will be very very happy. And i will be glad to leave this hopeless and heartless Nigeria with bad and corrupt Government
I want to live and make a home with ma gay partner where there is no discrimination and stigma and I will be happy for the rest of my life
Thanks very much
Your trustfully Tony
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Chrisie Edkins (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 27/01/2012
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Dear Pride organisers, my name is Chrisie Edkins I am transgender British solo artist, I have been performing live for a number of years and soon to be releasing a album. I have performed at a number of large venues from Las Vegas to Spain and also a lot of places around the UK. I have also been on television in the UK on This Morning ITV, Trisha Goddard show and even twice on RTL Germany raising awareness and fighting for equality. Last year I was headline act at Manchester Sparkle and on main stage in Reading and also performed Exeter Pride, Bristol and Essex.

Now the reason I am emailing you...

From now till the end of 2012 I am doing any pride/LGBT event around the world totally *FREE* all the Pride organisers have to do is just get me there and give me somewhere sleep. This is all in the name of Charity!!! So far I have had a number of other prides around the world willing to help and spread the word. Confirmed returned bookings due to a great performance and also bookings from All over the UK, USA, Germany, Switzerland, Poland, Canada, Russia and Span pride events.

I am also looking for a Airline sponsor who would be willing to help take the cost down so the Pride organisers are more willing to accept due to there budget. There will also be filming at most of the Prides, Podcasts and Magazine interviews, why not be part of the changing world at little cost to you.

Major part of the "T" part of the LGBT is Beaumont Society who are a big charity organisation for the Transgendered. They has also chosen to sponsor me and in exchange I am creating a soundtrack for the Podcast's they are doing. " Together with our sister organisations, since 1966, we've been at the forefront of supporting transgendered people, their partners and families, as well as advising and training on transgender issues."

So far I have had 12 comfirmed bookings around the world and stilling have over 35 waiting to be confirmed.

This is a article that was in the largest LGBT magazine:

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/12/30/uk-trans-artist-offers-to-play-any-pride-event-in-2012-for-free/


Youtube Link to videos/music:

http://www.youtube.com/user/imthedevil6?feature=mhee

Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/chrisie666

Bellow is my contact detail and your welcome to call any time up to 11pm Monday to Friday.

Kind Regards and hope to hear a reply

Miss Chrisie Edkins
www.chrisie.net
Home: 02380476028
Mobile: +447927120054
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It's so big of you to report them & then actually get things fixed & now you're improving things for other people, People who may have been victimised just for being who they are. You truly are an inspiration.

Also you picked a great union! My Dad works there :)
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posted for readers on 06/01/2012 +0
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Well, this is a story, all about how my arse got ripped all up and down and i'd like to take a minute, just jerk off there, ill tell you how i became prince of a queer called piere
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James Rall (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 24/09/2011 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, health, sexual orientation +10
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I was outed at work. I work within the NHS. For 14-16 months, I was called all the homophobic names. Queen, Queer, Homo, Poof, Fag, Fairy. and so on by three workplace colleagues. They were reported to one of my Supervisors. One guy appologised. the other two kept it going,for nearly a year. Till they were reported again. It now has stopped. I am in the union. And on the Regional LGBT Committee, and the National Committee for Health. I am also an Equalities Rep for Unite the Union. By reporting to them both, we are now in the Process of starting an LGBT Support Group for the NHS. It was meant for the local area at first. But it looks like it will be going nationally. Don't keep it to yourself. Report it as soon as it happens. And do not suffer in silence.
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anonymous (user currently living in AUSTRALIA) posted for readers on 27/06/2011 tagged with at the work place, illegality of female to female relationships +5
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I never came out to myself that i am a "bisexual" i am really highly attracted to lesbians.... Some of my friend knew this but my sister overreacted with who i am... i hated her a little bit, she cant understand that i am so madly in love with my lesbian friend... she called me immoral, but i dont care...
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Graham Smith (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 23/06/2011 tagged with lgbt families, sexual orientation +5
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I was married with children when I came out in my early 30's. I am totally out to all my friends and family. I am single at the moment but when I have had a partner we have been totally accepted as a couple by our network of friends and family.
The only time I still feel uncomfortable about my sexuality is if my partner and I have shown affection in public. If we have held hands walking along a beach it can still attract attention and open discussion and pointing. I guess it is just that they are still not familiar with seeing it.
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender bisexual readers on 19/06/2011 tagged with lgbt families, hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation, religion +5
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I just don't understand what is wrong with being bisexual / lesbian / gay. I am bisexual, and I just don't see what is wrong with that. How is it even different? Why does it matter?
I can understand why people have been...uneasy, shall we say, since everyone found out I am transgender, but can't they just accept me for who I am, not what I am??? Is it really that hard? I would happily do the same for anyone else.
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JOHN ELLIOTT (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 08/03/2011 tagged with at the work place +5
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I currently work for the DWP, which is an excellent employer for gay people, male or female. However, I think this has been a fairly recent development in the workplace. My less favourable memories were of an insurance company, where during the Christmas present exchange party, gay men’s magazines and gay sex manuals would be wrapped up as gifts and given to unsuspecting male employees as a joke.

On finding out that I was gay, malicious male colleagues would indulge in immature same-sex kissing and mild simulation of gay sex acts in front of me.

During the early 1990’s I had trouble with another respected female member of staff. I had been involved in distributing personal safety alarms for women employees. The staff member proceeded to make jokes about small male private parts, asking if I would marry, and stated that I was a man, “who couldn’t make it with a woman.” On complaining, absolutely nothing was done about her spiteful conduct, whereby she was playing devious psychological rape games. I found similar rather anti-male sentiments with a small percentage of lesbian women who would make unenlightened comments about gay men, but be having affairs both with men and women.

Therefore, due to my experiences at work, I would prefer to keep my private life to myself. I am still proud of being gay, and would help anybody being bullied about their sexuality. I fully support people like Steve Davies for representing gay people within the macho arena of sport.
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Dear Sir/Madam,
We have just updated our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) guide to resources and support groups available online to be re-launched for the upcoming Tower Hamlets LGBT History Month in the United Kingdom.

Your organisation is featured in this guide.
http://www.absoluterelaxation.co.uk/LGBT

The guide aims to help Teachers, Parents and Students understand and support Young People with LGBT issues.

It contains helpful resources and a wide range of of support groups and links to help those students who are gay, think they might be or for Young People who would like a better understanding of LGBT issues.

Teachers will also find helpful resources to tackle homophobia and bullying in schools.

The pages include lists of support groups and information of LGBT History, Employment Issues, Religion, Health, Parenting, Books and Resources.

Kind regards,
Bernard Hazell
Michael O'Meara
Absolute Relaxation Ltd


"I'm thrilled that Tower Hamlets has compiled this comprehensive and stunning resource"
Sue Sanders, founder LGBT History Month


"It's great to see young people in Tower Hamlets
having access to such a useful resource.
I wish I had been given this information when I was at school.
It's a really cool website."
Peter Tatchell, Human Rights campaigner
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Naleen (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers in response to this story on 09/10/2010 +5
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I find that with toilets or accommodation that I too don;t fit in either. As I feel threatened when I use male facilities or with other males. or with females I find I would offend them or they may feel threatened if I look like a guy in a dress. Though I do feel more confident and secure with other females or using female facilities.
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Naleen (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 09/10/2010 tagged with gender identity +5
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As a Transgender you are often left out off to one side of the LGBT communities. Where there is lack of information. Where communities say they are LGBT they really mean LGB but they are forced to add the T as it was campaigned to add the T to LGB.
With LGBT laws in various countries often leave out the Transgendered people so we are left guessing the laws half the time. Such as where is Homosexuality illegal. That's great for LGB but as for transgendered its still a mystery as we do not always follow the homosexual rules.
Some female only website seem to be confusing to what they mean by female only. Many T-Girls would benefit from what they have to offer but due to still having a penis we may find that we are not welcome. Why cant these websites and communities say no T-Girls or T-Girls also welcome. But then there is risk of regular males trying to gain access by claiming they have gender dysphoria when they do not. But if this is the same with T-Boys too I do not know. But all I can say is there is allot of confusion in my transition and I hope it gets easier.
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Stephen Whittle (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 21/09/2010 tagged with laws and leadership
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IF YOU READ THIS MESSAGE AND KNOW WHO THE ILGA WEBMANAGER IS, PLEASE PASS IT ON

PROBLEM with ILGA DIRECTORY MAP
This isn't a story I'm afraid but to ell someobdy that the World Map isn't showing on the large version of the Directory Map at page http://ilga.org/directory/en/list?country=US&offset;=a

The box for it appears, and if you put your mouse on it, generally a country's name and details appear -- but not the map.

Your site needs contact details on it - I searched and searched and could not find details of a webmanager or your office other than the Brussles postal address.
Yours
Stephen Whittle stephen@pfc.org.uk
Transgender Europe
Press for Change UK
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ola awoyemi (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for bisexual readers on 12/09/2010 tagged with human rights
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Dear Sir/ Ma

I am writing to you with the hope that you could on my behalf find out whether any progress has been made with my application considering its been almost 2years(asylum application was put in for me October 2008) The UKBA have been in possession of sufficient evidence to make a decision for some time now.

When my former MP contacted UKBA in March 2010. In the response sent to me, Border Agency claimed those recorded delivery documents were not received. In April 2010, my lawyer had since sent another copies for Border Agency even with that no step has been taken to reach a decision on my application.

I am not receiving any asylum support, my lawyer till now had been requesting I be granted permission to work while my application is still been process and we are still waiting for a response.

We need people to get involved in this situation, anyway they can. The aim is to put some for of pressure on the UKBA-Home Office & my case owner to proceed with making a decision on my case and not continue to leave her in limbo. 10years is a really long time to have to endure the anxiety, inhumane & psychological abuse and have to be living as destitute.
Thank you for even taking your time to read and I look forward to your response

Yours truly,
Olasimbo Awoyemi

my on-line petition<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petition/38993.html">Online petition - Help end the inhumane & psychological abuse of Ola Awoyemi
help end the inhumane & psychological abuse of Ola Awoyemi



Published by olasimbo awoyemi on Sep 10, 2010
Category: Government
Region: United Kingdom
Target: United Kingdom Border Agency(UKBA) & Home Secretary
Web site: http://www.uklgig.org.uk
Background (Preamble):
Ms Awoyemi identifies as bisexual and this is a fundamental part of her identity, she is open about her sexuality in the UK, something that would not be possible were she to return to Nigeria where she would e required to conceal her sexual identity purely to avoid persecution.

Also she has established a private and family life over the last 10 years in the United Kingdom that would not be possible to maintain were she to be returned to Nigeria. She was detained when returning from road trip to Belfast, made the arresting officer that she had been in UK for long & had pending application at Home Office, still she was forced to sign an asylum application. As an asylum seeker in London (United Kingdom) whose application has been left unattended and its destroying her. We need people to get involved in her case anyway they can.

The aim is to put some for of pressure on the UKBA-Home Office & her case owner to proceed with making a decision on her case and not continue to leave her in limbo.
Petition:
We, the undersigned, call on the Home Secretary, UK Border Agency to make a decision on Olasimbo Awoyemi’s asylum claim immediately as you have been in possession of sufficient evidence to make a decision for some time now.

Meantime Ms Awoyemi should be granted permission to work, given her claim has been outstanding for over a year.</a>
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Zoe Bremer (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian bisexual straight readers on 06/08/2010 tagged with laws and leadership , sexual orientation, religion, marriage / civil unions
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Nottingham Unitarians (www.nottinghamunitarians.org.uk) had a stall at Nottingham Pride on 31st July 2010, distributing leaflets on equality issues and giving away back copies of THE INQUIRER and THE UNITARIAN. We aim to make this an annual event and to do more outreach work with minorities in our area and would love to hear from gay and feminist groups in and around Nottingham.
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Fertility Road (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 24/06/2010 tagged with adoption, lgbt families, health, human rights, marriage / civil unions
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SAME SEX SURROGACY - Feature in the next issue of Fertility Road (www.fertilityroad.com). First Lifestyle Fertility Magazine! We are happy to announce that we are working together with Pride Angel to provide a fantastic resource for all the gay community that have an interest in becoming parents.For more information please visit Fertility Road website..
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Ivor (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 19/06/2010 tagged with tourism, hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation +5
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Transsexual asked to leave Glenuig B&B; in Inverness Scotland for dressing as a woman.

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/3002222/Glenuig-House-bed-and-breakfast-tells-transvestite-guest-to-leave.html#mySunComments
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Gea Vox (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 15/06/2010
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Individual members of our LGBT Organisation were scammed by a man - Ivan Bruce Ssempa Ssendenge, a Ugandan claiming to be a gay Asylum Seeker who had survived horrendous violence and fled to the UK.
After supporting him (fortunately only in our individual capacity, to protect the organisation) and getting him released from detention, the two women who'd acted as bail guarantours and out him up discovered he'd been watching the TV Adult channel and downloading ONLY heterosexual pornography on their laptop, visiting over 100 porn sites in the process!

Be warned, do not let yourselves be scammed like this!
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Josie (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 24/05/2010 tagged with teaching lgbt rights in schools, human rights
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While where I live there is very positive feedback when talking about homosexual issues, there is a very high level of transphobia due to the opinion that we are well educated, and therefore the fact that transphobia has not been addressed means that transgendered people are not recognised as 'normal' in our society. The lack of education in schools is shocking, and even when some education is given, it is often presented in a crude way.

In a school lesson "We're going to watch a video on some boys who want to dress like girls" - this shows the lack of education and training given to teachers who are meant to help students form an open and well rounded opinion of minority groups.

If I'm honest, the reason for this is probably lack of resources. The main resources provider, the main group that receives funding from the government has only recently begun to accept transgender issues as connected with LGB groups. In fact, their website still states "LGB" minus the T for our Transgendered members.

We have a very good education on LGB issues in this country.. surely we should be setting the example for the rest by recognising and supporting trans members of our community?


We've come a long way in the last few years, but what angers me is the fact that most of our society, most of the people I interact with, they seem to think there's nothing left to do. That we've got rights, we shouldn't need to do any more campaigning. They think we're just picking up on little things that don't matter any more.

... So what about trans?

Although there are laws in place that do protect trans people, the education is missing. The education is vital. We're stuck in this rut without it.
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Gay_kent (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 06/05/2010
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I came out to my parents and friends. well the whole world! i didnt get a single bad word, i only grew closer to people. yes there may be homophobes around.... but i havvent encountered any!
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Zoe Bremer (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian straight readers on 17/04/2010 tagged with human rights, religion +5
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I attended the Annual Meetings of the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free Christian Churches last weekend (8th-11th April), which took place at Nottingham University. Anyone wishing to know what happened can find out in THE INQUIRER, the national Unitarian newspaper, or contact Essex Hall, www.unitarian.org.uk (Tel. +44-(0)20 7240 2384).
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Charlii (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender intersex readers on 10/03/2010 tagged with sexual orientation +5
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I am Charli.
I don't identify as female or male..
I don't really know what I am in terms of labelling.
I guess I'm gender fluid.
But I feel so uncomfortable because there never is an option at school/work/ in general (toilets etc) that I can use.

Is this something we can ever change?
Not only for people like me but for mtf's and ftm's and everyone else..
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for bisexual intersex readers in response to this story on 11/02/2010
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hi gina i can personally say i have no idea about what it means to be intersex. It would be interesting for me if you could share the misunderstandings and difficulties intersex people face and teach me and ilga a thing or two. as for the age of consent laws i see that the law section of australia is incomplete why don't you enter the information about australia's laws yourself by registering with the site?
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Alexandra Young (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for transgender readers on 08/02/2010 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation +0
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Hatred.

You’re no woman, does say the man like demon!
You try to hide the man, but I see right through your plan.
How dare you buck the trend.
For I’ve a good mind to inflict a beating from which you’ll never mend!

Why must you infect the innocent mind?
Boy, how I hate your kind!
I want to live in a straight world full of real men.
Not a Barbie cesspit full of She-men!

You make me sick, you sissy pr**k!
So come on and fight me like a real man.
Prove yourself for once, if you still can?

Ha! I laugh as you try to flee from me in such high heels.
Look, no one is even taking any notice of your pitiful squeals.
Oh, how I look forward to committing your body to yonder fields!

As I stand watching your lifeblood flow upon the tar.
The whole world hates you for what you really are!
So you see it’s my job to stop you, before you take this too far!!!

Poem by: Alexandra Young.

I didn't think I would ever be back on-line writting my personal thoughts for all to read, including those of you I likely will never even know or meet in real life. In many ways it makes no sense to come back on-line and back to my blog http://alextsgirl.blogspot.com/ , but it helps me deal with issues going on in my head when I do turn my thoughts and feelings into words.
The catalyst leading me back to my blog and the printing of my Hatred poem above, is the thought process and feelings I'm going through as a result of taking part in a 'Hate Crime' video being produced by the Central Scotland Police Force. It has brought back many a sad and hurtful memory of an event I prefer to keep supressed. However, my public account will help get the message across to others about the effects of hate crime, and my discomfort will be worth while in the long term.The following account is what I placed down in writing for the Police, and will be the basics of what I say on the video (I likely will also eventually publish the video on my YouTube site):

Alex Story.

My name is Alexandra Young, and I’m now a fully transitioned male to female transsexual woman. I’m a Scot, and in my early 40’s.
I had my gender disphoria issues from as far back as my memory can take me to 4 years old. I remember crying myself to sleep at night wishing I’d wake up as a girl the next morning. I also remember how hard it was for a small feminine boy to get through school on a day to day basis without being bullied by other more typical and macho boys. The only way I could survive within general society had been to try and fit in more as the persona people expected me to be, which had been as a rough and tumble boy who needed to become better playing boy based sports.
My façade improved over the years into teenage years, and adulthood and I eventually managed to fit in a male role that included getting married and having children. Eventually in my late 30’s, I could no longer suppress the inner female me, and had to explore who I really was in more detail. After a long self examining journey, I successfully transitioned with the aid of hormones and surgery into the woman I am today.
The worst hate crime I can remember facing myself, had been back in the days I attended college as a late teenager.
I started my working life off as an Apprentice Joiner, and had to attend college on a day release basis. The guys I had to share classes with had generally been typical boys who seen themselves as being heterosexual men’s men. I on the other hand had still been a very feminine male, and dressed in ‘New Romantic’ style clothing that had been all the rage in the 80’s. Most guys who dressed like that still looked like boys/men, but I looked much more girly, and that did not go down well with my classmates.
The resulting taunts and innuendos I could take, even if at times it was not uncomfortable and not nice. However, it led onto them playing practicable jokes on me, and continually referring to me as 'gay boy', etc. Once I confronted them, and this led to them telling me I was ‘dead meat’ after the classes had finished. Thankfully I managed to slip past them that evening, but they waited for me the next time I attended college.
One boy pulled at my rucksack, and swung me round as I tried to hold onto it. Another boy then started punching me until I fell to the ground. He said you deserved that you 'poofy bastard', and said we will get you later.
I spent a full day in fear of these boys, and never told any lecturer for fear of getting worse treatment as a result.
That evening after college, the biggest of the boys got a hold of me, and beat me senseless using his steel toe capped boots. He kept kicking me till I fell unconscious, and when I woke up, I had blood poring from my mouth and nose, and had lots of lumps on my head. My ear was ringing, and felt very sore from also being hit. My ribs hurt, and I looked a mess. I looked so bad, I did not get on the bus as usual to get home, and instead walked home to my Mums to try and gather my thoughts and work out how to deal with the issue. People looked at me and never offered me any help. In fact, some crossed the road rather than walk past me.
I never felt more alone in my life, and felt very low. I could not tell my parents what was the cause of it all, because I likely would also have to tell them about my gender based issues, which these stupid bullies mistakenly thought was sexually based around homosexuality. I never went to the Police, or told anyone what had really happened for I believed no one would support or understand someone like me. Instead I just had to put up with verbal abuse for the rest of the year at college, until I could move to another class. Thankfully no more beatings came though, as they had made their point.
I became a much more reserved person after the beatings, and pushed myself into more macho male things such as weight lifting, kick boxing, extreme down hill mountain biking, etc. I cut my hair into a shorter number two cut, and successfully hide who I really was for self preservation.
I eventually came to terms with who I really was, and faced everyone who didn’t agree with what I had been doing. No more beatings happened in my later life, but I did have to face extreme bigotry and a general lack of understanding of trans issues from former friends and in-laws.
I believe I am a much better person than I once was as a result of being open about whom I really am. However, I have had to endure a lot of heartache along the way, and all because I happened to be different from the rest of the boys.

Alexandra Young.
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Stephanie (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 28/01/2010 tagged with lgbt families, gender identity, sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions +10
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I recently came out as bisexual to my British husband of 6 years. I hail from New York but live permanently now in south west of England with him in a relatively rural location, well outside London, so I have come to expect some relatively provincial attitudes about most things related to gender, sexuality and marriage roles. My husband's response was loving and beautiful and akin to "oh now that explains some things." He was only sad that I took so long to trust him with this and that still lingers between us, unresolved. And though he was raised by middle English parents with some run of the mill and tedious homophobic attitudes (his parents think our gay male nanny is a 'obviously' a child molestor and are entirely blind to the fact that their younger son is quite likely gay), his attitude to my bisexuality is so-far postive and progressive. After making it known to him, though, I slowly started to make it known to friends and colleagues, gay and straight, that while I was happily married with kids, my psychosexual self (for lack of less psychobabbly term) was bisexual. I got every response from neutral acceptance through to encouragement from my gay and lesbian friends, but the straight friends still surprisingly held some seriously old fashioned views. So far none of them have shunned me or seem to direct any overt hostility towards me, but there is a passive aggressive line of questioning that I keep getting. Questions like: "But doesn't that mean you are really just a lesbian and don't want to admit it?" or, "So are you leaving your husband for a woman then?" And my 'favourite': "How can you be bisexual and monogamous?" That seemed to be the prevelent attitude really -- that bisexual either meant a life-long menage with both a man and a woman at once or a life where you could not commit to only one partner. The concept that I was a married, monogamous woman just happy and more content to finally be honest about who I really am was not sufficient. Saying I was bisexual now meant I needed to "do something about it." Again, this is all very new to my friends and husband... but that is what I experienced so far. A set of sadly retrograde questions and the expectation that my ability to be faithful was under scrutiny. I suspect there will be more to come, but for now ... that's it.
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