This Sunday, a burning concern from urs trully: It’s so depressing having to live behind the smoke screen of another person, seein’ him take over your physical features bit by bit till you are completely lost and cannot see yourself any more. Growing up, I had many a suicidal thoughts, as every moment that passed I came to see, more and more these hard masculine features of this pubescent boy…while the tender supple skin, curvaceous body and beautiful face of the gurl in me, receded behind the curtains only to arise and shine over tones of make-up..I curse the day I told ma mom about ma boobs, stupidly thinking it was cancer, and I was gonna die..i wish I knew then, like I know now that the hormones they were giving me were actually testosterone and they would destroy Cleo….the gurl in me…Am sorry Cleo..sorry for the ignorance in me, sorry that I did not know a better way, sorry that I did not try had enough to save you…It’s a miracle that you have survived this all, scars and wounds notwithstanding, it’s a miracle that you still smile and giggle when you come…But even then, I cannot say that for all my trans brothers and sisters still locked up in bodies of other people….they walk around taunted by the thought of what could have been if only they could let that gurl or boy out…Working with the Trans Supporrt Initiative Uganda I’ve seen many trans people, lost, depressed, praying that, that beard won’t come, that those boobs would just disappear…..it’s a painful reality. That some of us will actually make it, we are surely uncertain of….But having lived through this nightmare and survived it with the few feminine features lurking, am worried, that even those will disappear. Ma heart goes out to all ma trans bro’s and sisters who
are struggling to unmask that gurl or boy in them, ma heart bleeds even more for ma teenage trans brother and sisters who right now are probably having suicidal thoughts, and hating themselves, and ignorant of the other way...a better way…a solution that even if they knew of they may be wouldn’t afford. Heed the words of my cry if you may…Our brother and sisters in Uganda need hormonal replacement therapy, so that they can live better lives... lives with confidence, self esteem, and vitality to face the ever growing transphobia around them…Heed this cry if you may….understand us…save us..we need you..for now we are here, we do not know for how long? But as long if you hear my cry from this deep abyss...answer this our prayer...
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