Am writing now in the most horrible day of my life, things got worse and it feels that my life reached a dead end, I have nowhere to go, and no place to run to, all the doors are shut in my face, and no one would even look at me cause of the way I am? It?s an unfair country? Unfair community? Homosexual behaviour is illegal in Sudan. For homosexual men and women, lashes are death penalty? Just hear my story: ????
It started as a normal day, actually it was a happy day because we finished our final exams and I graduated. Steven was one of my close friends, his parents left the country so he made a party at his place for this good occasion and he invited our entire group to it (Freedom LGBT group), we were group of people and good friends who shared the same interest and believes, we understood each other cause we all face the same problems with our community, we were 12 friends (10 guys and 2 girls) who hoped that one day we will be FREE to be who we are, and the community and our families will accept us the way we are too.
Everyone in the group showed to the party and that was the best thing, it was an amazing party we were all chatting, laughing, and Steven got us a lot of food, drinks, and some alcohol too, because he was Christian it was easy for him to get them in our country. The party started and it was amazing, hot music was playing, good food, and everyone was dancing.
I was dancing with my boy Sami, he is a great guy and we love each other. He is the most one who understood me. Late at the same night when the party cooled down, Steven and his boy Omer went to one of the house?s rooms to have sex with each other and after a bit me and Sami went to the other room to have our moment and have sex with each other too? But the nightmare began and we didn?t know what was coming.
While we were in the middle of having sex, a group of people from Al mukhabarat ?The Sudanese Intelligence Agency? opened the room door and started to hit both of us tell we fell from the bed, and then they dragged us from our legs like animals outside the room and I found out that they caught everyone too. The worst part is that they caught me and Sami, Steven and Omer red handed.
I can?t describe how scared I was at that moment because I knew what awaits me and it?s only death according to the law of this country to our kind of people as they say.
They dragged us outside after they took out phones, watches, n anything we owned, just left us our clothes. There were a big car outside with a big box at the back with no windows, so they throwed us all at the back of the car and locked the door, after that they started driving, I didn?t know where we were going but it was a long ride and I was scared to death and I didn?t know what to do.
The car stopped moving and when the door opened the first thing I saw is the guy?s stick flying toward my face and it hitted me so hard I couldn?t stand after it and I started bleeding, they hitted us more tell they took us inside their place through stairs to an underground floor and there they throwed each one of us in a separate dark jail, 1.5 Meter long each wall and I was left there all alone.
I was scared to death, weak, and it was so dark no single light was coming in my jail room, rats were all over, and there were a box at the corner where it suppose to be the bathroom, it felt like only ghosts lives her and I believed that I won?t be able to survive for a long time in this place.
I was left there for 2 days with no water and food, al these days I didn?t sleep. After 2 days they took me to interrogation room. They stripped me naked and they started to interrogate me. They asked me about everything, if I?m a gay, friends, family, political and LGBT association activities? They started to hit me. Some one of them he put a pistol to my head and said? I wish I can kill you right now? They dragged me from my legs and they tied me upside down, and they started hitting me with a metal stick all over my body, they grabbed my organ and hit me there too, and they sticked that stick in my ass and they were laughing out loud about it and asked me? Do you like it, do you want more? I was screaming from pain and I was bleeding from everywhere, urine came out. They kept doing that tell I lost my consciousness.
I woke up after that shivering so hard and my blood was all over the floor, I felt so week, and I lost feeling in my fingers in my lift hand. They left me some food that smelled like shit and there were bugs all over it but I ate it anyways cause I felt like am going to die if I didn?t, and drank some dirty water for my thirst.
That kept happening to me almost every day, and sometimes I used to hear some of my friends voices screaming from pain too. After 4 weeks they transferred us to a present. And they told me that I?ll stay here till the court? So I started feeling that my end is closer now.
I stayed there for three and half months and I?ve been waiting when I?ll be stoned to death? Until one day...
Late time at night in that day, a weird man that I?ve never seen him in my life took me out of there, he paid the police man loads of money and he looked like one of them, and he took me out of there to a farm house (about 20 minutes outside Khartoum). Where I?m staying now alone and there's no way for this to change?
I found here this computer with net, I tried to see the news in the internet to see what happened to my friends but they did bring one word about that, and the next morning my mother came and she told me that she was the one who paid the guy to do that and she told me that I can?t come home cause my father and my family wants to kill me with their own hands?
I am scared to leave the place cause if someone saw me I will be died and I can?t run to my family because they all want to kill me? I have nowhere to run to? So I wanted to share my pain and my story with everyone? Maybe someone will understand? Someone will feel my pain too? Is this my end??
http://freedomsudan.webs.com/
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