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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in SOUTH AFRICA...
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moanmend (user currently living in MALAYSIA) posted for lesbian readers on 07/08/2014

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Thanks and Best Regards.
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A short documentary about gay Ugandan refugees in The Netherlands, who fled their home country due to anti gay laws in Uganda. I hereby send you the link of the video on Vimeo.

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spotspot (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 23/05/2014
First, we are all spirit, then we are (hu) man. Therefore those who judge and attack gay and lesbian people, are in effect launching an attack on themselves.
view entire thread
Barbara Castle (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 20/04/2014 tagged with at the work place, health, gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation, religion +5
My story is the form of a book published recently entitled FINDING MY OWN WAY...to happy & gay. And it is exactly the book for these times, for gay & straight people ... no matter which country they live in.
Should you be lucky enough to have a friend, a child, a sister, an aunt or a colleague who is gay this book answers many of the questions you'd never dare ask. And should you be on your way out of the closet and into the world be assured this book will keep you company all the way to being happy and gay!
Visit the website http://happyandgay.yolasite.com/ to find out more and to order a copy online.
You owe it to yourself...and to all people who are different.
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Paul (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 11/03/2014 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, human rights
While All Out have managed to get Orange to pull there ad revenue from the Red Pepper paper, the South Africa pan African satellite DSTV company are still running ads on the website.

If we can get all multinationals to pull their advertising perhaps the paper will tank.

I'm not exactly sure how to set up online petitions, etc but perhaps you guys would be able to sort it out.
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adams (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian readers on 27/02/2014 tagged with illegality of male to male relationships

Good day
we are a couple from Uganda among several of us arriving in south Africa, we arrived on the 16th of January 2014, making ten couples in total that managed to make it for refugee here in south Africa waiting for our government bill against homosexuality which at the moment has been declared against our rights and freedom of expression, the bill was signed into law on Monday confirming anti-homosexuality resulting into permanent displacement for the minority of us with no one ready to advocate for us.
we are currently surviving on the help given to us by one of our fellow Ugandan who has been in south Africa before us for: shelter, food and of cause hiding for safety among other assistances he is able to afford. staying underground as humans has deprived us of any freedom of expression and progress in life more or less a terrorist without a gun. The situation we are going through right now is alarming and hard to persevere with several of our clan mates still arriving increasing the lord of responsibility to our patron without support.
we intend to stand up for our rights by taking up a peaceful demonstration at the Ugandan embassy in Pretoria ( south Africa) holding card boards expressing our rights and recognition rather than rejection for a common right of expression like the rest of the world. "date for the demonstration is yet to be established"
we humbly seek your assistance in all aspects to help us survive in a foreign country as we patiently wait for the coming of rescue from this oppression, we really look forward to your response and support as everyone has perverted us.
This message is confidential as it may result into un identified disappearance or life imprisonment of any of us.
we will be very grateful for your positive concern and assistance. for more information please don't hastate to contact us on

Mukasa adams
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Lee (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for lesbian readers on 05/10/2013
Hi all!! I am glad to see that the community is growing as we need the support! I am a 28 year old female. I always thought that my feelings was just a faze or just part of my "jolling" lifestyle! Until I fell in love! I was 22 when I met the love of my life! Think I was too young to know how to deal with it! And I guess if we had the right support it may have worked out! However it's been about 2 years later and I am still dwelling in the past! As I do not have any friends that share the same sexuality and I'm too scared to just go out on my own! I am dying to meet someone, to fall in love again, to share and enjoy a partners company, friendship ,comfort and reliability! Please can someone help and point me into some form of direction? It's been a lonely road and looking forward to walking my path forward with someone in my life!

Thanks guys!
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Lee (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for lesbian bisexual readers on 04/10/2013 tagged with tourism, intersex, at the work place, adoption, illegality of female to female relationships
Hi all!! I have been fighting a lonely battle for quite some time!! I always thought I was just going through a jolling faze and just exploring and then to discover I'm 100%!! Bisexual!! I can not choose between male or female but to just follow my heart, feelings and attraction to another!! I met the love of my life at age 22!! And royally messed that up cuz was too young to know how to deal with it all properly! Moved to jhb from durbs for this girl! It's about 2 years later and I'm still dwelling in the past as I don't have a reason to move forward! I don't hang out with any people that are like me so I do not get to meet new people! I am at a point where I am quite depressed about this as I am dying to fall in love again and give it my all in a relationship again and do things right! Please can someone give me some advice or point me in the right direction!?
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An American citizen has fallen in love in South Africa. She and her South African girlfriend have been living and working happily in South Africa for 7 years. Now, our American citizen is moving back to her home country to be near her family. In any other instance, she would be able to uproot and re-settle with her spouse but, owing to her choice in lover, a split is inevitable. Hearts are broken...

This is the outcome of their work together:

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(user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 24/08/2013 tagged with human rights +10
Representatives of Johannesburg Pride, Pink Loerie Mardi Gras, Mr.Gay World, previous Mr. GSA Jason Rogers, as well as media from Sondag newspaper, The Sowetan and RSG showed up at the protest at the Russian Embassy in Pretoria. Coenie W. Kukkuk from Mr. Gay World and Kaye Ally from Johannesburg Pride spoke to Russian officials who came out to meet the protest group. Kukkuk said he was not in favour of a boycott of the Stochi Olympics in 2014 as innocent athletes from nations who do respect human rights will be affected - some of whom who have worked for most of their adult lives for that Olympic moment - but asked for targeted sanctions of Russian LPs responsible for the anti-gay act in Russia. Ally said to officials that in South Africa we respect diversity and equality in our constitution and homophobia is not welcome in South Africa. The officials agreed to convey the message to the Russian Ambassador. Afterward, a few couples kissed right in front of astonished security guards, South African Police Services officials who showed up and some suspicious Russians staring from theparking lot. The media present undertook to report about the protest.

- Gallery: Gay and lesbian South Africans staged kiss-in protests in Cape Town and Pretoria against Russia's anti-gay legislation on Friday. Mambaonline.com and PINK Papparazzi were there to capture all the smooching.
Cape Town and Pretoria - 8/23/2013

- Pics: Various http://www.mambaonline.com/galleries_view.asp?gal_id=737 (photos by Luiz de Barros)

- Read more here: http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=8478

Photos attached by Oelof de Meyer
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fleur (user currently living in CAMEROON) posted for lesbian readers on 31/03/2013 tagged with lgbt families
hi ilga,i will not like to be identified.
i am a caameroonian, female i have always had difficulties in sharing my identity for fear of repraisals. but since i grew older i have developed some courage which makes me express my views without fear or favour. but about my sexual orientation, i am receiving alot of discrimination of recent. it is affecting my job as a journalist. something very complecated to manage. i sometimes am compelled to think of going on exile but, how do i do it? i realy wish i would feel free in my nature and interact with others normally, why not find someone to love and live with. but i don't know how to go about it. can someone help me please...
in my country cameroon there is alot of discrimination towards people of complicated nature like gays, lesbians... i was last week witness to a humiliating confrontation visa vis a gay who openly dmitted his sexual orientation. i felt bad but sad to note that somoany cameroonians are in asimilar situation but do nothave the courage to declare. others areforced into marraige which ends up being a lifetime uneasiness.
but i will not like to do something forcfully but, i don't know how to go about it...
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GHMCC (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 20/02/2013 tagged with human rights, religion, marriage / civil unions +0
Good Hope Metropolitan Community Church (GHMCC), an inclusive and affirming Christian Church in Cape Town, has moved to its new home at Central Methodist Mission on Greenmarket Square in Cape Town. Good Hope MCC Worship services are held every Sunday evening at 18h00.

Although Good Hope MCC serves a predominantly gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender congregation, the membership is diverse and goes beyond the social constructs of gender, beyond race and sexual orientation. Good Hope MCC traces its roots back to 1983, when a few Christians founded the "Gay Christian Community". Subsequently Good Hope MCC became a member congregation of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC), an affirming Christian denomination with churches and ministries in more than 37 countries.

MCC are at the vanguard of civil and human rights movements by addressing important issues such as racism, sexism, homoprejudice, ageism and other forms of oppression. MCC has been on the forefront of the struggle towards marriage equality worldwide and continues to be a powerful voice in the movement for LGBTI equality. Across the globe Metropolitan Community Churches are also known as the “Human Rights Church”.

Core values are Inclusion, Community, Spiritual Transformation and Social Action.

Good Hope MCC recognises that people are not one dimensional and orientation, whether LGBTI or straight is only aspect of who we are ~ but for so many LGBTI’s, this can be something that deeply conflicts with our spirituality because of what is so commonly preached. It is GHMCC’s mission to serve God among those who are seeking and celebrating the integration of their spiritually and sexuality. We know that many have been deeply hurt by organised religion and GHMCC is a place, where people are able to have their faith and their love for God restored, whilst still being true to all of who they are, with no fear, no shame and no guilt.
At Good Hope MCC, we know that we are created in the image of God. We also understand that God is not limited by our understanding of God. God is not bound by any of our cultural or personal biases. God is beyond gender, beyond race, beyond nationality, beyond any church or religion, beyond any culture or time. We are created in the image of God – we do not create God in our image.

For further information, please visit www.goodhopemcc.org or e-mail welcome@goodhopemcc.org.
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Piet (user currently living in BELGIUM) posted for gay lesbian bisexual readers on 10/12/2012 tagged with tourism, sexual orientation, religion
I've been to South-Africa, it was an exchange program,
and I was pretty scared because I didn't know how homosexuality was in South-Africa.
Well, the area where I went (Pretoria) , was totally okay with it. Even their religion accepted gay people. (I felt really good about the religion-part, it's something catholicism has to work on...)
I have to admit I had a feeling it must not be easy for a South-African to come out. I think a lot of gay South-Africans struggle to come out.

Also, I've only been 'integrated' within the 'whites', so I don't know about homosexuality for 'blacks'.

I felt accepted and even normal in South-Africa as (obviously) gay.

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When shall we be freed totally?
Will the freedom ever come to express our feelings without discrimination?
Who is going to free us from this societal bondage?
What a cruel world full of cruel people!

We live our everyday lives under fear and discrimination
Walking on the street in broad day light is a curse
Not to talk of the fear of the unknown at night
Abuse, mobbing and killing are order of the day
All in the name of societal beliefs, values and norms

I wonder if we are part of the earth
Since we cannot express our sexual feelings just like any other person on the planet
Society relied mostly on the biblical explanation of creation and approval of men and women unions
Some people often make jest of us and say God created “Adam and Eve” not “Adam and Steve”
Who says intimate unions/marriage should be between only men and women?
Who says such relationships is better than same-sex intimate relationships?
Some often say our sexual expression is a trend caused by westernisation and modernisation
They forget that this has been in existence since the time immemorial
Even past great men and women were attracted to same gender
Whether biblical or not biblical, what I know is that, this is who we are and society must accept us

We are treated like outcasts in our own land where there is freedom,
Freedom and equality irrespective of your sexual orientations
I wonder if this freedom will happen in reality
Due to continuous discrimination against our sexuality
I wonder if we are part of the social order of the earth
All I know is that, irrespective of how society sees us
We too are the earth
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The Struggle of being a lesbian (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for lesbian straight readers on 25/05/2012 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention +4
I used to live in South Africa, before i moved to U.S. Being a lesbian in South Africa is a challenge because men are now starting to rape lesbian women and threaten our families with the goal of turning us, lesbian women, straight. I remember, when i was on my way to see my friend, a group of 7 people; four boys and three girls stopped me, and the girls grabbed me with my belt. They said to me, "you think you're a boy, we see you all the time walking with other girls. You are supposed to be dating men, not other women." I kept quiet. One of the boys said to me, "Starting from today, you are my girlfriend. " I told him that i do not date boys, and he said that they will show me that i am woman. They grabbed a beer and pour it on me, and they told me to sit down. I refused. I told that i wasn't there to sit down with them, i was just going to see my friend. Luckily, those girls let go of me, and i managed to runaway from them and i went home. When i arrived at home, i was smelling beer all over my clothes, and i was really angry. So, i grabbed a big knife, and i went back to where they were sitting, as soon as they saw me coming with a knife, they ran away. I chased them. After that day, they never bothered me, i still took the same road to my friend's house. I hate what men do lesbian women in South Africa. Raping a women wouldn't make her fall in love or have feeling for men the next morning. It is really disgusting!
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(user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian readers on 04/04/2012 tagged with lgbt families
My partner and I had a baby last year by IVF afterwhich we completed all the necessary forms to register our little girl and to obtain a birth certificate with both our names stated as her parents. It has now been five and a half months and to date our child has not been registered and we have not received a birth certificate for her...the excuse I keep hearing from the Department of Home Affairs is that to print a birth certificate for a child born into a same sex marriage requires them to re-set the IT system and to change the words mother and father to parent 1 and parent 2....I am so incredibly frustrated that we are yet again discrimintated against because of an outdated IT system and red tape!
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ArishmaryCanada (user currently living in CANADA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 14/10/2011 +5
My Partner & I (Arishmary in Canada) will Be Sponsoring Transgender Asylum Seeker Living in South Africa right now - Everyday is Danger for her because she is a Congolese Transgender, from the Congo.

Human Rights & Freedom Costs For All of Us - But More For Transgender Gay Asylum Seeker “June” Because She’s Trapped in South Africa and Waiting for Permission To Leave. Pls Help Me Help Her Survive this waiting period.

The Financial Support I'm asking for Today is For protection; for shelter, for refuge, for human rights, WE MUST ALL FIGHT NOW. Crimes against humanity, torture, killing, persecutions, the prosecutorial system, attacks, homophobia, femaphobia, xenophobia, sexism, racism, ignorance, HATE AND DEATH. Please Help Me Save Just One Beautiful Life today; that’s all I ask, just for a little help.

There’s more Keywords and you’ll learn about them all by following me at Facebook and Liking my page there. For protection; for shelter, for refuge, for human rights, WE MUST ALL FIGHT NOW.

She needs a safe place to live and we need money to support her until she is here with us. South Africa Just have to Allow her To Leave, and the Money is to Keep her Alive until that time Comes.

She went there for Sanctuary after ending up fleeing from a Sexist, Racist, Homophobic Criminally Violent Prison called The Congo. FLEEING OPPRESSION FOR IMPRISONMENT is what happened - From the Hell of The Congo to the Hell of South Africa Cape Town.

Where many believe it's not so bad if the community is a gay and lesbian one, but it will always be unsafe for Feminine boys who are transgender, gay and from the Congo.
It may feel for June that her life now is not worth living, but the life she will be having here definitely is. When and if she gets here, she’ll be safe and living with us. We’ll take care of everything here and at some point in the future she’ll be a Canadian Citizen (but for me a friend for life; the sister I always wanted, the brother I know will always be here for me).

It’s not simple, it’s not fast, and will probably hit many snags along the way - it'll be a rough and highly strung ride for her, but with the few volunteers that are helping, time will go faster than if she did it alone.

We can do this, we can save this beautiful AND Amazing Transgender Girlyboy Feminine Loving Person, who feels like people are always attacking her, regardless if it's physical or not. She is still young, still impressionable, still trusting of to many, and still in danger. She is my sister, she is my brother.

I say she, I call her; but please help us save his life. Donate to me some of your hard earned money. We can always talk on the phone if you want; you can always send me a message here or on Facebook, I can always do things for you online, and you will forever be appreciated.

If you are worried that the money will be mismanaged, don’t worry it will not. Our contacts in South Africa in charge of the money for her from us, are responsible adult professionals and activists; humanitarians and educated people who fight for Human Rights and know exactly what to do more than anyone we’ve seen so far about this Case.

They will be managing her money because it is our money and we need it managed over there; for her, so it is not lost or spent wastefully. Right now she needs a safe place to live, and she’ll be finding one at some point with their help - or a separate NGO she may find to help her just to live somewhere that is safe and far from the social & party life of the GLBT Community as well as the Danger of every other place.

Basically we need to save June, she is worthy of Life, and she is an Activist still helping others when ever she can, still with friends I know I would not trust in a million years, and still welcoming anyone who shows a nice face; to be her friend.

But needs help for herself more than ever before even these friends surprise her with a punch or theft. The NGO contacts there are working to speak to Government for allowing her to leave, because she is not allowed as of yet.

It can take Months for them to allow her, it's been months already and we're just starting the paper work over there. In the meantime she needs a safe place to live; money, and courage to continue living out this time until she's allowed to leave. After she comes to Canada, we will work with her and everything will be okay finally for her.


She’s one person that is my Friend; Family, Sister & Brother, just one person named Junior Mayema (I have named June), have you heard about her because people have tried to help her with no success until I came along. There are pages written for her, and I run the page written the most. You can find all those pages and more here: http://bitly.com/or349p

Junior is now living (or trying to live) in Cape Town South Africa. I need to help her and the only thing that will help her now is Money.

Money will pay her rent; buy her food & toiletries, allow us to communicate on the phone and online with her helping-contacts and herself - and it will save her time right now to build herself up with strength just to survive; but it’s hard to survive in a place where she is having to hide everyday while hoping to live another one..

She’s from Kinshasa now living in South Africa and it is not an easy place to live when you are a gay boy and feminine with no family no support no home or money. Junior is the sweetest thing you've seen and does not deserve what she is going through. It’s like I’m watching myself suffer over there when I was younger.

I know I would not last and I would be killed before growing my balls big enough to actually leave and run away. She's not suppose to run away until it's time to come here now, because where she is; is where the work is being done for her so she must stay and it's dangerous.

It takes courage, it takes strength, and it takes her so much that I know I would never succeed on my own. Junior being Born a Protestant doesn‘t help and being a Transgender Boy is a deathly No No where she is from and where she is living right now.

There's racism in the GLBT Community and her own social friends may not be social friends anymore if they find out that she's receiving financial help.

She was never able to finish her Studies of Law at the University of Kinshasa and had to flee for her life, she speaks English and French and she‘s not a she. She’s only a she to me and others but not to all.

To me she is like myself when I was young and didn't know how terrible people can be; even though back then when I had so called friends and coworkers around to protect me.
She was Born on July 30, 1987, that's 20 years younger than I am right now, but I will teach her everything I know. But ever since birth her life was doomed, unlike mine because I knew at least I would be alive the next day. I NEED TO HELP HER and I’m asking everyone to help me help her.

There is lots more to find out if you want to, I am an Activist Writer online and just by following this link to a page at facebook (I'm updating for her while supporting others with International News and Posts), you’ll find out all you need to know. http://on.fb.me/JMblog

Please go there for more and come here to give - or go there for more and become my friend so we can message each other while you decide how much to give. I am very personal able so please don't feel insecure about communicating with me.

I can be your friend or I can just except your financial help; you can be anonymous or I can blog about your generosity to the world. You can send me a cheque or what ever you want, just please help me help June Mayema, so she can have a Life worthy of all her loving goodness.

Thank you, and remember that my Fb page is the updated page of support blogs for June and others.

Ari R. Kolman
Ontario Canada
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Lee (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 25/04/2010 tagged with health
To whom it may concern:


Please contact me regarding the possibility of placing a small GLBT Alcoholics Anonymous AD post on your site.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you.


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:-( (user currently living in SOUTH AFRICA) posted for lesbian readers on 18/02/2010 tagged with human rights, laws and leadership , religion, marriage / civil unions +5
This is a sad day in South Africa. Today a lesbian minister was fired for marrying her life-partner. The Methodist church was happy to ordain her as a lesbian minister, even assign a church to her care, and dating was never a problem either. But when she fell in love and married, that was when she was suspended and today, they fired her.

Our country recognises gay marriages. Our constitution protects all people from any type of discrimination, including discrimination because of sexual orientation. But we are still targeted. The church will not marry us, and many will not even accept us through the door. We are raped and murdered, ostracised and mocked. The country and the constitution are merely pieces of paper, impotent. Ineffective and obviously unenforced.

Yes, today is a sad day for all GLBTI people in South Africa.
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