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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
Share your experiences in RUSSIAN FEDERATION - Let others know what it’s like to be LGBTI in your country! If an experience is meaningful for you, it will probably be meaningful for someone else. On whatever topic, whether good or bad, your story is how the world knows about your country and LGBTI life. By selecting tags that mark the topic your story, others can learn from your experience.
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in RUSSIAN FEDERATION...
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showing stories 1-50

Wuist (user currently living in FRANCE) posted for gay readers on 19/04/2012 tagged with lgbt families
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Dear all

My Company is about to propose me a great job in Russia (Project Director in the infrastructure / transport business). I would like to get there as an expatriate with my boyfriend. Do you know if my boyfriend can follow me or how he can follow me or where to find information ?

Please note that we have a French Partnership (called PACS) together.

Thanks for your help

Note: It is getting seriously hard to do the job you like (Project Management of International Infrastructure Projects) as borders are often closed to family members of gay workers.
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(user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for gay lesbian bisexual readers on 06/03/2012 tagged with adoption
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That's is what happen in my country. In my city.
Our government officially forbid us to be gay.

http://www.allout.org/en/actions/stpetersburg-dont-go/taf
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«Club women's unions» (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for lesbian readers on 25/01/2012 tagged with adoption, health
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Dear Colleagues, my name is Elena "Boatswain".
I am organizer of the lesbian club in Moscow. I am already 57 years old, I do not work, get a pension.
Since 2001 I am a volunteer and spend free meetings every week in our klubedlya everyone.
Our ÂŤClub women's unionsÂť is co-operation of independent women of non-traditional orientation wishing to live a healthy life,
develop their creative ability, make contribution to elimination of any form of discrimination based on gender role stereotypes in our society, to obtain equal rights and respect.
Our club "KSP" holds rallies for women in the woods, organizes a summer camp on Lake Seliger. In this camp there are lesbians
in many cities of Russia, and now come women from the USA, Germany and Sweden. Many publications about our club is on the Internet. http://lesbi.ru/tag/2108
For 10 years we have held festivals of female creativity, there participated bards, musicians, poets and writers in Moscow, St. Petersburg and other Russian cities.
We are involved in human rights campaigns and events dedicated to the "Week Against Homophobia" in conjunction with the
organization "Rainbow Association" and concluded a cooperation agreement with the organization "Rakurs" (Arkhangelsk).
We bought ourselves benzonegenerator for gatherings in the woods, but still need a tent for the overall scene ( 350 $ ) and the boat to cross to the island ( 300 $ ).
Please, help -where we can get financial aid for our activities ? E-mail address: spele0log@km.ru
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Anzor (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for gay readers on 10/01/2012 +5
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Hello! I live in The Kabardino-Balkar Republic - it's a federal subject of Russia (a republic) located in the North Caucasus. Our republic includes two major ethnic communities, the Kabardins and the Balkars - both of them are Muslims. I belong to Kabardins and I'm gay. I guess you don't need the explanations how difficult it is for gay person to live in Muslim community...
Anyway, I've spent all my life living in Nalchik (a capital of The Kabardino-Balkar Republic) and all my life I was hoping that one day everything will change.
I was 12 years old when I realized that I'm gay. I had no one with whom I could share my secret. There was no person to help me with any kind of advice. I was bullied by every single person I know, including my own parents... But I did not give up and for over 11 years I was trying to survive my problems. I kept fighting because I was hoping that one day, after graduation I will leave The Kabardino-Balkar Republic. But moving to any other Russian City is not a solution of my problem also, because all my relatives have sworn to find and kill me for being openly gay. I've already told you that my family members are Muslims and when I told them that I'm gay, their religious views did not allow them to accept me the way I am... In 2009 I tried to run away from my family: I moved to Saint Petersburg, which WAS known as being the most Gay-Friendly City in Russia. But two months later my family tracked me down and brought me home by force. Now I understand that even if they didn't find me I couldn't keep living in Saint Petersburg, because last year St. Petersburg became Russia's third city to pass an anti-gay law called “gay propaganda.” Two regions of Russia — Arkhangelsk and Ryazan — have previously passed the same law. 62% of Russians supported the re-criminalization of homosexual acts between consenting adults. I'm in despair... And I don't know what to do... Russia is becoming homophobic country. I can not keep living in Muslim Homophobic Republic - it's dangerous for my life. My father wants me to marry a girl this summer - he thinks that it will change me and who I am. But it won't. Even if it would, I don't want it to... I live in horror and tyranny... My family and my country do not want me to be happy with who I am. But I'm proud I'm gay... Sometimes I want to kill myself (it seems to be the only solution of my problems)... I'm just thinking: If I won't kill myself somebody else will kill me... I beg for help... I just want to live normal life without fear and discrimination...
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elena (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for lesbian readers on 07/01/2012
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I live in Russia! in Moscow! and really want to leave the country, who will help me! in Russia beat gays and lesbians! we can not live freely! HELP! I know English and ispanskiy.u me a good education! my mail reinael55@bk.ru
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Taras (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 03/01/2012 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation
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Happy New Year! Wish everybody to have better life in new year and good changes in homofobic countries
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Taras (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for gay lesbian bisexual straight readers on 27/10/2011 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, human rights +10
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I am from Russia and I am gay. My past experience of living there was horrible. Especially last few years. I was beaten, threatened, harassed and abused because of my sexual orientation. Russia is a very homophobic country. Everybody: policemen, officials, common people, orthodox church etc. hate us. They say we are sick, call us freaks, perverts, garbage. All our rights and freedoms violated and nobody cares.
I was beaten by neo-nazies and policemen because I am “not like them… different”. And I got to hospital two times in very grave condition.
Russia hates gays and knows no mercy. I left this country 1 year ago and went to the U.S. hoping to find a new home where people value you for what you can do but not for your personal questions. The country where I have a chance for normal life. Where I don’t have to survive every day.
I am so scared to go back…
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elna (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for lesbian readers on 22/10/2011 +10
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help get out of Russia! We are a couple, we live 13 years! SOS! SOS! write on mail reinael55@bk.ru
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Barbara (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for lesbian readers on 19/03/2011 tagged with sexual orientation +5
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Hello everyone!
I`m Russian, and I`m lesbian. During all my childhood I wanted to be a boy (since I was 5). I dreamed of friendship with boys, and never of love. At school I falled in love with my math teacher, young woman - but I didn`t understand that. I knew nothing about gays and lesbians. And I think at that time it was good. Then many years have passed. I tried to live with a man when I was 23, but couldn`t do that enough time. That time I realised I should change my life. I met a lesbian girl, rent her room and left my boyfriend. Since then till today I am who I am:)It is two years that I live with a beautiful woman 10 years older. So I don`t wanna be a boy anymore:)
My mother doesn`t know that, but I think she`s suppose; my sister know I`m lesbian. I don`t attend any gay organisation or meetings, but the most of my friends are lesbian. They are also live by themselves. I don`t like any crowd, though it was organized one. I prefer some real persone. You can write me here: veselial@mail.ru
Thaks!:)
Barbara
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Alestaro (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for gay readers on 20/01/2011 +5
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Gays Siberian city of Barnaul live in fear

For six months in this city occurred in April killing of gays. The first victim - known in the town tailor, the second - a university lecturer. Three of them occurred in the last 2 weeks. In the latest tragedy killed the couple. Police to solve crimes. Their perpetrators are homophobes who kill and rob their victims. The latter crime is not solved, it happened several days ago.
Gays living in Barnaul, grieving, being in a depressed and frightened state. In the town before the killings related to sexual orientation. Over the past 10 years, were killed 5 people, not counting what happened in the past six months. Unable to explain this terrible phenomenon. Gay - the community is afraid to lead his normal life, fearing for their future.
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posted for readers on 17/06/2010 +5
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Guys, everyone of you knows that there are countries liberal to homosexuality, although in some states the attitude to it is exceptionally awful. Russia is one of them.
Here talking about legal gay or lesbian marriages makes somebody risk to be not even blamed but killed. Homophobia is one of the most important problems thus being an obstacle to LGBTI existence. Anyway. Types of it differ from one individual to another but the most widely spread is that almost everybody here is not straight. Nevertheless the mentality doesn't give an ability to reveal, the majority of them has to hide. No way to come out.
Nowadays the main problem is of students, they don't get any possibility even to meet each other (I mean other belonging to LGBTI), so cases of commiting suicidal action among them increase. Really impossible to live here. As for me, a schoolboy, there is the only way - to immigrate. I suppose everybody of my age here will maintain the same position.
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Alexander Kukharsky (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for gay readers on 12/05/2010 tagged with human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation +5
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In 1980's I was instructing my gay friends, how to avoid imprisonment due to the antisodomy pragraph 121-1 of the Criminal Code of the USSR. At last the City Prosecutor's Office desided to punish me for this sort of activity and tried to fabricate a criminal case, based on absolutly false accusations. The started investigation deprived me of my work in the state university and left unemployed for two years till the very end of the court procedures and my conditional verdict. On June 1990 a group of activists came to my apartment and we founded gay-lesbian "Krilija" Center of St.Petersburg, http://krilija.sp.ru , which is active up to now, being the oldest LGBTI NGO in Russia, officially registered after a year of struggle at the courts of different level.
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ansel (user currently living in CHINA) posted for gay readers in response to this story on 27/04/2010 tagged with illegality of male to male relationships
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Hi, Alan

It's really nice to see you are working for the better days to come of the LGBT community.It's hard sometimes I feel to be a minority, and the sense of being forlorn in a deserted place is just overwhelming for me.
I am a Chinese college student by now, and I do not know any of gay friends in real life, and I guess the situation here in China is somewhat like that in Russia. I hope one day I can do something to change that. But, well, sometimes I do seem to break down as a result of the feeling that I am all by myself and fighting alone. I do not know who I can trust and pour my heart to though I indeed have some good straight friends to whom I came out. And I guess they just can not understand the situation that really faces us gay people.
I will try my best to cheer up, though, and embrace the future that really belongs to me with the trying of my efforts, and I hope that one day I can find the place I really feel belonging to in the world and be the true self at ease eventually.
Best wishes! and Good Luck!

yours sincerely,
Ansel
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Alan (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for gay readers on 03/04/2010 tagged with at the work place, teaching lgbt rights in schools, gender identity, human rights
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Hi!
I'm Alan...I'm gay... And I'm Lecturer of Politics in the classical university, located in one of the heterosexist region of Russia. Within six years I study queer-identity in political and social context of various contries with different mental and authentic features... On December, 2009 I defended my candidate thesis on the topic “Institutionalization of the minorities in public policy”... I guess, this step is shock factor for our conservative academic community, 'cause a lot of my collegues have a mass stereotypes about gay-discourse, which they cultivate among students... For example, mostly popular - homosexuals are minority, which should not stick out the essence, remaining in a underground. Nevertheless, I represent the my students alternative values and stories about real gay life!! I feel that young people are held down by sanctimonious morals... and I feel that fetters of idiocy and hatred are closed all more strongly under pressure of separate representatives of elite everyday... I try to be an optimist and to impart of students rules of tolerance by means of such lectures as Evolution of gueer-identity: retrospective and reality... Transformation of the attitude in respect of sexual minority as a political problem of modern Russian society etc. They are interested... they reflect about it... but, I think that russian's conformism is stronger than mind... It's sad... But I trust in humanism...
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LGBT Christians international conference summed up in Moscow (user currently living in RUSSIAN FEDERATION) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 12/01/2010 tagged with religion +5
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The conference of LGBT Christians of different confessions "Accepting the force" that has been opened for the public since the middle of November summed up today in Moscow.

"Nuntiare et Recreare" internet site reports that 26 people from 10 different states participated in the work of the Int'l conference. Among those twenty six Christians were Orthodox Christians, Catholics, Lutherans, Baptists and others.

The conference opened with a prayer for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people who are standing on the spiritual crossroads in their lives and for those who is forced to be in isolation... and consisted of three parts. In Part One - "Love each other as I loved you..." (In. 13,34) its participants shared their opinions on understanding the Creed, Christianity in general and Christian love in particular. Part Two - "LGBT Christians from different countries of the world" - informed the audience on LGBT Christianity issues in different countries of the world and in Part Three - "Our stories" delegates told their life stories...

The Conference adopted a Resolution - Appeal to Christian Churches of the world, LGBT Christians and LGBT community that is published in the Internet on the "Nuntiare et Recreare" site.

http://english.gay.ru/news/rainbow/2009/12/04-16927.htm
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Ukrainian LGBT Activity in 2009 (user currently living in UKRAINE) posted for gay readers on 12/01/2010 tagged with human rights
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Recently in Kyiv Ukraine's LGBT community has held the final forum of the passing 2009 year, telling to the audience about its rises and falls and plans in the forthcoming 2010, reports www.ugay.ru. Its participants represented all regions of Ukraine and autonomous Crimean Republic. This event had financial support of Int'l Alliance against HIV/AIDS representative Office to Ukraine.

That forum summed up the results of Ukrainian LGBT NGO's activities in the passing year, including the data obtained from the three major researches conducted – on same-sex partnerships; on HIV prevalence among Ukraine's MSM (MSM – men practising sex with other men); on MSM needs in social and medical services.

“In some countries of the West men practising sex with other men are the main HIV risk group. In our country that way is the third on the list of HIV positive cases. The supposed stabilization of HIV spreading among gay and bisexual men tied up with improved during the last two years knowledge about ways of becoming HIV positive, enlarging field of preventive programmes and more sensitive HIV testing equipment could confirm the effectiveness of our job”, reported Inna Schwab (IAAIDS's specialist for Ukraine).

“The 2009 was fruitful for us in many ways, - noted Laima Gaydar, the head of “Women's Network” (a feminist-lesbian organization) - first, Ukraine's LGBT Network became stronger, there are 21 registered LGBT organizations and more than 20 informal unions of gays, lesbians and bisexuals, 25 HIV testing and caring outlets that give social and medical services for people who prefer same-sex relations. Second, we detect the rise of tolerance toward homosexual people among political leaders of Ukraine and third – the level of anti-gay rhetoric of religious organizations significantly decreased. The negative side is the rise of anti-gay crime and gay-hate terror from ultra-conservative groups on the ground of hatred to homosexual citizens”.

“In 2009 the scope of UN agencies work in Ukraine with LGBT community has significantly increased”, said Zoryan Kys, a consultant of the HIV/AIDS department of UNDP Office to Ukraine. Svyatoslav Sheremet, the leader of Ukraine's Gay Forum summed up that in 2010 year he would be looking for positive political shifts toward LGBT community from the authorities elected. “Civil equality for all is our goal”, he stressed.

For reference: On September 22nd, 2009, the members of the Ukrainian gay movement unveiled a Resistance Plan for counter discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity, consisting of 109 planks to be fulfilled by the elected Ukrainian authorities.

http://english.gay.ru/news/rainbow/2009/12/25-17095.htm
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posted for lesbian readers on 02/12/2009 +25
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The First All-Russian Gay Infrastructure to be launched in St.-Petersburg in December 2009

We kindly invite you to the press conference to be held on Friday, the 11th of December 2009 at 12.00 on the occasion of the launch of “Tao Zone” All-Russian LGBT Area. The press-conference will be followed by a buffet.
Where: St.-Petersburg, Russia. Moscovsky prospect, 109 building 3
Map (please print out the map to make sure you will find the place): attached

A brand-new LGBT network “Tao Zone”(«Зона Дао») is to be open in St. Petersburg, Russia in December 2009. It was founded by Marina Inyakina and Maria Faivisovich. They recently were successful executives with ambitious career plans. Something changed at the beginning of 2009 when they met to move from Moscow to St.-Petersburg and start their own project.
Now their ambitious aim is to create a unique infrastructure for gay community as well as comprehensive support for homosexuals from all over Russia.
It’s commonly known, that there are no gay people in Russia. The society is so kind to be blind when they just live “somewhere” and do not “expose” their way of life. Well, that’s ok for an average person to be saved by a gay resuscitation specialist, and the next day he or she will be “tolerant” (that is, pass by and not recognize the savior and his same-sex partner holding hands). It’s fine for the government to be paid taxes by a gay top-manager, but how dares he to apply for the social partnership with his long-term partner or for any rights arising from such a partnership?

A gay person in Russia is suppressed by the society and is subject to guilt, shame and reservedness. These three cornerstones are not the best ones to establish a community. But Marina and Maria made up their mind to sell out almost everything they possessed to change the situation. It is not so unusual to invest money in your own business in case you are 100% sure you will gain, but the owners of “Tao Zone” cannot be so sure. Their audience can be described as “upper-lower to middle class”. There is no trace of luxury in “Tao Zone”, everything is as simple as it could possibly be. Marina and Maria intend to create a gay-oriented infrastructure, which includes a night club, yoga and dance school, English lessons, psychological support, business network (recruitment and socialization in a new business environment for homosexuals) a bookstore, a fitness recreation studio and a mini hotel for queers who are short of money. The two ladies set up their risky project in a 170 sq.m. premises within a walking distance from “Moskovskie Vorota” metro station. The renovation was made completely by themselves with the help of several volunteers. They will launch the nigh club first to proceed with the yoga school and dance school. Marina and Maria are in need of those who share their ideas, but in the end they are ready to make the most difficult job, and like-minded people will join.


Please RSVP to Marina Inyakina dao@daodao.ru, +7 (950) 003-7147, +7 (950) 003-7142
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