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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in PHILIPPINES...
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team M (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 04/07/2014 tagged with marriage / civil unions
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I am a lesbian living with the love of my life for almost a year now. By now we have been dating for 18 months. I praise God everyday for that because it wasn't always smooth sailing but He got us through. I think part of what made us strong as a couple is the challenges that we have been fighting everyday. Her family is very accepting of us. In fact I feel not only her love but their love. I think my family always suspected that I am a lesbian but don't have the heart to accept it. I still come home to my family on the weekends, but to me, my partner is my home. Sometimes, I feel like I hurt her because of the situation. It's really hard for people to understand who we are because some are just already rejecting it before they hear it. I am wishing that someday they might see beyond their homophobic eyes and see just how great our love is.I wish that someday I might be able to brag about how great, beautiful, intelligent ad pure hearted my partner is.
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kristina (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 30/06/2014
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Hi I a$ kristina , I am a lipstick lesbian.I am now in love with a doctor, I call her salmon girl, because she loves salmon. -its dissapointing because of her medical profession she can't love me. Now I'm bounded..my family doesn't agree with this type of sexuality. - I can only pray that in the future I can meet anothher woman doctor here in the philippines. Kristinalamkokwa@yahoo.com
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(user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 23/01/2014 tagged with at the work place
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Im a teacher. At a popular university in the philippines, Elementary teacher to be exact... My superiors/coordinators are being unfair and unruly. They would ALWAYS find faults in everything i do. They would treat me as if i cant do anything right, they would exchange glances whenever i'll by, as of im carrying a disease. Now they would FIRE me because i have a girlfriend.
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Micah (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 05/12/2013
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I support gays and lesbians. Look mahirap ipilit ang isang bagay na hindi mo pagkatao dahil makakatapak at makakasakit ka ng ibang tao . Dahil kahit gano ka magpretend na babae ka na o lalake ka na talaga kelan man hindi magnabago ang pagkatao mo sonit means ngloloko ka lang ng tao dumadating sa point na ginagamit mo lang siya plus sa magiging anak nyo . Sa mga straight jan pakatotoo tau .once na ang hindi masaya sa ginagawa niya o hindi masaya sa isang relasyon dadatin at dadting sa point na magloloko ka untimo babae lahit may asawat anak yan nglalake pa pakatoo tau wat more sa mga lgbt na pilit binabago ang pagkatao nila dhil lang sa mga straight kuno na nghuhusga lang ni hindi nyo alm ang pakiramdam dahil straight kau hindi lahat ng normal sa inuong mga straight e normal para sa mga lgbt dhil ang lgbt hindi normal para sakanila ang makipagrelsyon sa hindi nila kauri . lesbian ako since 3yrs old kinder ako nun babaae na ang gusto ko mga kasabayN ko halos lahat sila straight ako lang ang hindi masasabi mo bang my favoritsim ang dyos? Dahil ako lang ang naiiba ? anung malay ko kung masama ba ang ganyan sa age kong yan na 3yrs old natural kung Nu lNg ang nRaramdmN mo un lang ang alam ko kusa un hind dahil sa nahawa lang aq kundi un ako bata lang ako nun ang bata inosente pa yN hindi msama ang magkagusto kung sasabihin mong 3yrs old pLNg kAu my mga gusto na kau laht ng kaklse ko my mga gusto na sila at hindi kasaanan un kusa un pinagkaiba lang namin babae ang gusto so unfair naman ata kung halos lahat normal cla at ako hindi bglang nagkasal na ba ako agad at mga ksmahan ko hindi dahil normal cla at ako hindi? Hindi ako naniniwala na mapupunta sa hell ang lgbt dahil sa cAse ko pingank ako ng dyos na mpuunta s impyerno na dhl bata plng gnun e husgAn nyo rin ba siya? Pno nyo ko huhusgaan e bat lang ako nun na normal na mgkgusto pinagkaiba lang babae ang gsto ko pero almost lht km my mga gusto na . Wala ako lesbia.n Na nakikita nun dahil ngayon lang naman nagsilitawan ang mga lgbt . hindi rin ako naheart broken sa lalake or. Nahawa lang pra maging lesbian pra sabihin ng mga tao na choice ko ito . Hindi dahil sa choice kundi ito ang pagkatao mo dahil ang choice pwd ka magpretend na hind ka gay yN ang choice choice mo kung mgppretend ka o hnd pero ang pagakatao hindi mababago yon kahit ikulong mo pa sa simbahan ang mga lgbt at posasan mo yan hindi magbabago ang katauhan ng mga yan lolokohin lang kau at mgppretend na hnd na cla gay . Nag try ako mag bf pero walang naidulot na mganda nakakasakit ka lng nakakatapak ng tao ngagamit ngloloko . Dahil sinasabi nga ng mga straight kuno na masama ang lgbt so ang ggwn ng mga lgbt ipipilit na itama ang mali daw pero narealize ko mukhang wla akong naitama e nakasakit lng ako ng tao at ngloloko natural pnloloko na un alam m ng lesbian ka e dhl lng s cnb ng tao na mali e mkknig ka na e alm m nmn na makakasakit ka gusto ba n dyos na mngloko ka ng tao ? Para lang sundin ang cnsb ng mga nghuhusga na hnd nmn nila alam ang totoong sitwasyon na nararamdaman mo . ang lgbt pag ipinilit m yan na itma cla kht maganak pa yan ng sampu iiwan at iiwan nyan ang pmlya nyan dhl ang tao once na hind msya ddating at dadating sa point na magloloko stragiht ka man hindi bat mas masama ata at mas makaslanan ang gagawin mo? yang mga stragiht n yan na mahilg mnghusga pinanganak ba kayo na manloko ng tao choice nyo un hindi nyo pagkatao un pero ang mga lgbt hindi namin choice ang mgng lesbian kundi ito ang pagkatao namin parang kau straight kau. Hindi nyo choice ang maging straight kundi pagkatao niyo na yan na kahit na posasan kau at lgbt ang nkakasma nyo hindi kau magiging lesbian hindi kau papatol s lesbian or gay pumatol man kau pero lolokhin nyo lng kc hindi un ang pagkatao nyo gnun lang din yon samin mga lgbt . Walang my gusto na kutyain lang kami ng tao kahit sinong tao wlang my gusto na kinukutya sila . Ang mapapayo ko lang sa mga straight jan na mhlg mnghusga maingat ingat lang s pag bitaw ng salita kasi baka isa sa maging anak niyo maging sablay . At marealize nyo na walang masma sa pagiging lgbt as lon as na wala kang tinatapakan na ibang tao. Kung ang padilla nga e na puro lalake cla laht cla malalakas ang dating chickboy kung chickboy pero tingann nyo kung cno pa ung mas maganda ang mkha s mgkkpatidi cia ung sumablay pero lht cla lalake lalakeng lalake badboy kung badboy wag mong sabihin hindi masarap ang feeling ng babaero ka king lalake ka para baguhin mo ang katauhan m na ang sarap sarap mabuhay n tahimik lalo na aswa niya si carmina anu ba ngyari hiniwalayan niya dahil sa pagkatao niya na sa totoo lang mas mahirap na magpakagay siya dahil kukutayain siya ng tao pero hindi cia un e hbng nbubuhay cia magsisiningaling at magsisinungaling siya sa aswa nya hindi ka na nga masaya sinungaling ka pa untimo dyos nadadamay dahil dyos ang nkakaalam kng anu tlga pagkatao mo at hibdi niya gusto na habang buhay lolokohin mo ang partner mo pakatotoo lang wag tau magfeeling mabait at magbanal banalan wag tau ipokrito be fair dahil hindi lang ang mga straght aNg my karapatan mabuhay sa mundo dahil parehas lang tau ginawa ng dyos pareparhas lang tau namulat sa mundo pareparehas ngkakagusto pinagkaiba lang ang normal sa inyo ay hindi normal para samin wag natin ipilit ang isang bagay na hindi natin pagakatao dahil kahit anung dasal ang gawin mo alam at alam ng dyos ang katauhan m at ngloloko ka lng habng buhay mamatay ka na nga lang sa katandaan ngloloko parin hindi bat baka mapalitan mo na ang trono ni satan nyan dahil maaga ka palng namulat sinungaling ka na hindi ka pa nagbago kahit man labg sa pagtanda mo kakapilit kakapretend na hind ka gay dahil lang sa ipokritong tao na nghuhusga lang nagpapaniwla ka e buti panmga straght kht ngloko cla ng tao pag tanda naman nagigin maayos na cla nagbabago na pno ka nmn na gay kung gay ka tatanda ka nalng na hindi ka pa magbabago manloloko kanprn na hnd ka gay? Pakatotoo tau mga lgbt wG tau papadala sa mga cnsabi ng tao dahil sila sakanila babalik lahat yan basta tau as long as na hind tau ngloloko at nagsisinunglng nkkasakit ng tao go lang . Dahil kaya natin mgpretend sa totoo lang kaya natin sabihin sa tao na hindi na tau gay basta makita lng ng tao na may aswa at anak ka icpn na nla automatic un tinama mo na ang buhay m pero ang hindi nating mapagsisingulangan ay ang dyos dahil coa ang nakkaalam lht ng ginagwa natin . Sa mata ng dyos kahit anung pretend mo tao lang ang mauuto m pero ang dyos hindi kaya wag mong paabutin na tatanda nalang tau na ngssisinunglng pa rin at ngloloko ng tao . Just trust d lord blieve him masasave tayo alam natin sa sarili natin na ginwa tau na ganito ang pagkatao natin hind dahil sa choice kungdi ito tau .
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kimctqz (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay lesbian readers on 10/07/2013 +10
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this is not a story but a poem i happened to write for my creative writing class. i just want to share it. Also, it is on my blog: ctqzkim.blogspot.com

here it is...


RAINBOW-X

She peeks from the ajar door
sees the rainbow flag
And feels freedom right there
Inside the closet, eyes closed
Scared the people will know

He sees the pink triangle
And knows what it means
Hidden world, sweet smile
Joy of acceptance he welcomes
But afraid to go and be bold

She closes the door, nothing
Weeping in her sleep
Longing for "her", so long
But "she" doesn’t know
And she keeps it like forever

He looks at them, nothing
talks to himself in solitude
wishes he could wear his heart
right on his sleeves for "him" to know
But "no" was his own answer.

Why is the world so cruel?
Disapproving are the eyes
Judgment know no boundaries
Breaking into the closet of secrets
Breaking the solace and mysteries.

-@kimctqz
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Iyaji (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 20/02/2013 +8
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Rigth Love at the Wrong Time
by : Iyaji

"We have the right love at the wrong time"

yan ang sabi s kantang "Somewhere Down the Road". Alam ko marami sa atin ang nakakaranas na magmahal sa maling pagkakataon o tao. Pero kailan ba natin masasabi o malalaman ang tamang pagkakataon? o sa tamang tao?

Ako nga po pala si Iyajii (hindi ko tunay na pangalan). Isa akong tomboy, tibo o kung anuman ang tawag ng ilan sa amin. Minsan na ako nagmahal at nasaktan pero pagkatapos ay hindi na nasundan pa. Oo, first time ko magkagirlfriend. Masasabi ko na masaya ako sa naging girlfriend ko kahit na sobra ako nasaktan. Gusto ko sana ibahagi sa lahat ang love story na 'to, sana ay magustuhan nyo.

Una ko nakilala si Rosa (hindi nya tunay na pangalan) sa kompanyang una kong pinagtrabahuan. 20 y/o palang ako nun at siya naman ay 24 y/o. Una ko palang siyang makita ay nalove at first sight na ako sa kanya. Hindi siya ganun kaganda pero napakasimple nya at mahinhin pa, pero may pagkamataray ang dating nya kaya medyo nahirapan ako makipagclose sa kanya.

One time nagkaroon ako ng pgkakataon makausap siya nung nagkasabay kami umuwi. Nung time na yun ay nkapagbiro ako at dun ko unang narinig ang tawa niya. Sa hindi ko malaman ang dahilan, lalo ako nainlove sa kanya dahil sa tawa niya. Para kasing ang sarap pakinggan. Simula nuon, walang araw na dumaan nang hindi ko siya napapatawa. At dahil dun naging malapit kami sa isat' isa. Lagi na kami magkasabay sa lahat ng bagay. Sa lunch, sa paguwi at kahit sa pagpunta lang ng C.R ay sabay pa kami. At dahil dun ay inakala ng mga kaofficemate namin na may relasyon na kami.

Isang araw kinausap ako ng tita nya na katrabaho din namin. Sinabi nito sa akin na engaged na daw si Rosa sa boyfriend nito. Nagulat ako pero hindi ako nagpahalata kasi alam ko na kaya niya ito sinasabi sa akin ay para iwasan ko si Rosa.

Kinabukasan, naisipan namin ni Rosa na tumambay muna sa Park (sa d'fort). At dun ko na din nabanggit sa kanya ang tungkol sa kasal.

"ikakasal ka na pla?" sabi ko habang nakatingin sa malayo.

"pano mo nalaman?" sagot nito na may pagtataka.

"sinabi sa akin ng tita mo kahapon"

"ahh.. oo, pero di ko nga sure kung tuloy pa yun eh"

"bakit?" para ako nagkaroon ng pagasa.

"kasi halos hindi na kami nagkikita at naguusap" may lungkot sa tono ng pagsasalita. "pero kung sakaling matuloy yun, gusto ko nandun k" nakangiting tumingin sa akin habang naghihintay ng isasagot ko.

"huh?! ayoko!" sa isip isip ko.. "putek! ano ba 'tong nasabi ko?!"

"bakit???" nakataas ang kilay ni Rosa.

"aahh.. try ko pero di ko sure ah hehe" balisa kong sagot

"basta asahan kita ah!"

ngumiti lang ako pero sa loob loob ko, sobrang nasasaktan ako. Kasi parang di ko ata kakayaning makitang naglalakad patungong altar ang babaeng mahal ko at ikakasal sa iba.

Nung mga oras na yun pakiramdam ko, para niya ko sinaksak sa dibdib at ibinaon pa niya. Gusto kong umiyak sa sobrang sakit. Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya na hindi ko kaya kasi mahal ko siya.. Pero hindi ko magawa. Tatlong buwan mula nung makilala ko siya ay itinago ko sa kanya na gusto ko siya dahil na din sa takot na baka iwasan niya ko at magbago siya sa kin.

Parang sasabog ang puso ko sobrang bigat dahil di ko masabi sa kanya ang totoo. Kaya inilabas ko na lang cp ko, binuksan ang calendar, at gumawa ng note sa petsa ng araw na yun at dun ko ilagay lahat ng gusto ko sabihin sa kanya ng mga oras na yun. At napansin niya ito.

"ano yan?" nakatingin sa cp ko

"huh?" gulat. "hindi wala 'to"

"sino ba yang katext mo?" sabay hablot sa cp ko.

"naloko na" pabulong habang hinihintay ang magiging reaksyon nya.

Matagal niyang hawak ang cp ko. Sa pagsulyap ko s cp ko, nakita ko na inililipat niya ang petsa ng calendar kung saan na may notes na nakalagay. Lahat kasi ng mga masasaya, lungkot, inis na nararamdaman ko sa tuwing magkasama kami ay inilalagay ko sa calendar ng cp ko.

Pagkatapos niyang basahin lahat ay nag aya na siyang umuwi. Habang naglalakad patungo sa sakayan jeep ay wala itong imik. Kinabahan ako sa reaksyon niyang iyon dahil baka nagalit siya sa nalaman niya.

"Para!" bigla ako nagising sa pagkakatulala ng marinig ko siya hudyat na bababa na siya ng jeep. Bago bumaba ay tumingin siya sa akin ng nakangiti "bye". Nagtaka ako bakit ganun. Ibig sabihin hindi siya nagalit?? Ang dami kong tanong ng mga oras na yun. Sobrang nalilito ako.

Pagdating ko sa bahay nakatanggap ako ng text galing sa kanya.

"Hi, asan ka na? nakauwi ka na ba? lam mo nakakainis ka, ganyan na pala nararamdaman mo sakin bakit hindi mo agad sinabi? tatlong buwan mo pang itinago, nakaya mo yun? hehe"

"pasensiya ka na, natakot kasi ako na baka iwasan mo ko eh"

"huh?! bakit ko naman gagawin yun? kaw na nga lang kasundo ko sa office eh"

"hindi ka ba galit sakin?"

"hindi, ang totoo niyan ang saya ko nga eh, kasi importante ka din sakin.. higit pa sa kaibigan"

"talaga?! ibig mong sabihin.. gusto mo din ako?"

"hmm siguro.. basta masaya ako pag andiyan ka., naiinis ako pag nakikita kitang may kausap na iba, pero alam naman natin na hindi pwede di ba?"

"ok lang kahit hanggang dito lang tayo, masaya na ko ngayong nalaman ko na importante din ako sayo.."

"basta promise mo na walang magbabago ah, promise mo din na diyan ka lang"

"PROMISE!"

Simula nuon, mas lumalim pa ang pagkakaibigan namin. At sa sobrang close namin, kumalat sa office ang tsimis na may relasyon kaming dalawa. Hindi naman namin yun pinansin dahil alam namin na walang katotohanan lahat ng yun. Pero ang tsismis na yun ay nakarating sa boyfriend ni Rosa.

Isang araw, sinabi sakin ni Rosa na hindi na muna siya sasabay paguwi dahil susunduin daw siya ng boyfriend niya. Nalungkot ako bigla dahil mukhang nagiging ok na ulit sila.

Makalipas ang ilang oras, dumating nga ang boyfriend niya. Pinapasok niya ito sa loob ng office at pinaupo sa tabi niya na katabi ko lang din. Hindi ako mapakali dahil naiilang ako at halos hindi ako makahinga dahil pakiramdam ko, sobrang liit na ng mundong ginagalawan namin. Kaya naisipan kong sumaglit muna sa rest room at dun magpakalma. Makalipas ang ilang minuto pabalik na ko sa office nang makita ko ang boyfriend ni Rosa sa labas ng office na para bang may hinihintay. Pagkakita nito sa akin ay agad ako nitong nilapitan.

"ikaw c iyajii di ba?" iniabot nito ang kanyang kamay para makipagkamay.

"ako nga bakit?" parang nagkaidea na ako kung bakit siya nandito., yun ay para kausapin ako.

"ako nga pala yung boyfriend ni Rosa at malapit na kami ikasal"

"ahh oo nabanggit na nga niya sakin"

"hmm siguro naman alam mo na kung bakit ako nagpunta dito? may mga naririnig kasi ako tungkol sa inyong dalawa ng girlfriend ko na hindi maganda, gusto ko lang malaman kung may relasyon nga ba kayo ng girlfriend ko"

"hahaha naku! hindi noh! binibigyan lang kasi nila ng ibang kahulugan yung pagiging malapit namin, wag kang maniwala dun"

"ganun ba? sana nga kasi hindi ako magdadalawang isip na bumalik dito para kausapin ka ulit pag napatunayan kong totoo yun, dahil sa tingin ko eh.. hindi mo magugustuhang magkita tayo ulit"

"wag ka magalala.. magkaibigan lang talga kami"

"sige.. salamat sa oras mo ah"

at nagkamayan kaming dalawa tanda ng magandang usapan.

Pagkatapos nuon ay minabuti kong umiwas na lang muna ke Rosa para na din makaiwas sa gulo. Kahit na mahirap iyun para sakin. Kinakausap ko pa din siya paminsan-minsan basta tungkol sa trabaho lang. Hindi ko na siya madalas na nakakausap, nakakasabay sa pagkain o paguwi gaya ng dati. Lahat nagbago. Nakikita ko siyang laging malungkot, matamlay at nagiisa. Halata na nasasaktan siya sa ginagawa kong pagiwas sa kanya.

Gamit ang skype, chinat niya ko.

"kailangan mo ba talaga ko iwasan?"

"oo para walang gulo"

"wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah"

"pero iba ang nakikita nila sa atin pag magkasama tayo"

"nahihirapan na ko"

"mas lalo ako! kung alam mo lang"


ipagpapatuloy. . .
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Xian (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 18/11/2012 +5
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Hi i read your story and i may not experienced the same pain that you did i am also looking for the same thing to be loved by a woman and to love me in return. I actually thought i already found her, then out of nowhere she told me that she cannot say 'i love you' to me because shes busy at work then a week after that she told me she needs space. I was with her for 4years, i hope ul find that special someone. Stay strong.
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MJ (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 01/10/2012 +25
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My first Confession

Life is harder when you’re a homosexual. Those words hurt me much. Yes I’ am a lesbian and this homosexuality kills me everyday. The world is not yet ready to accept us, our culture as a Filipino is still preventing us to integrate totally in the mainstream of our society, although some gays and lesbians have been accepted already because of their efforts, acceptance is not as whole as GENUINE recognition to us. I don’t know of laws recognizing us, like for example the same sex marriage is not yet mandated or legalized by our government at the present time, in my own family culture as well, where my family labeled homosexuals as abnormal and evils. And it hurts me that it frightened me to speak up my homosexuality.

I was a child when I felt that there is something wrong with me, I was 5 years old I guess, I remember when I don’t want to wear girl’s dress like “palda or bistida” and I am more of shorts or pants, I also had crushes with my females teachers then. I indentified myself as insane that time (because I’ am different), though I was a child then, everything was really different to me. My poor age didn’t obstruct me to think that there’s something wrong with me.

Years passed by and my homosexuality became part of my system, I learned to embrace it though it pains me so much then, It made me inferior about myself. That was the time when my inferiority complex started to ruin my life. I was very ashamed of myself, I had few friends, I didn’t participate in class, and I was very quiet with a very tiny voice in the class, I couldn’t speak up any stronger because of my inferiority complex. I thought my lesbianism would express and people would avoid me. I was like a dust, a figurine, or any displayed photos/pictures attached around classrooms. I never acknowledged because I didn’t want to because I feared that people would learn my identity. And I had been so much careful to hide it that time to avoid any rejections.

My high school days were one of the most hurtful moments through out my existence. I had my first love and my first heart break. I almost tried to take a suicide then. It broke my spirituality I felt that my life had no meaning at all. She’s the most lovely and intelligent student in our class that time. She loves to mingle with everyone. I fell in love with her because we became one of the closest friends in the class, and most of the time we were together. I didn’t expect much from her that time, I never disclosed my sexuality up to this time, I had my limitation, I never took advantage of her, however sometimes I got jealous and I expressed it through avoiding her. Why everything turned such way? The first time I saw her, I thought she was the same girl I had crush with. Until we became close friends because of her skills in making friends with everybody, that’s why everyone in the class loved her. I had good sense of humor then, the reason why she liked me. I was in 4th year high school when we became classmates and friends. Her friendly attitude killed me, though I never expected everything from her as I said earlier, because I know she could not love me back since she’s not a lesbian too, until one time, she said to me that she loves me and I was like her girlfriend, and the most striking words she said was “I would never ever find a boyfriend, you’re my girlfriend and I’ am a lesbian” she laughed after those words had expressed. And because I didn’t expect anything to her, I laughed too and I took those words as jokes; however deep inside I was very happy that time. Since then, my mind said “never expects” while my heart said “you have a chance” and I followed the second.

Everything turned well after that day, we texted some nights and we exchanged sweet messages, like” I love you” and were always together in every class, I think that situation last after months when she became close with our other classmates. I never get her attention anymore then. And that made us separate most of the times. Her new friends were also the friends of her suitor, and that made him had his easy contact to her, I was so jealous to the both of them every time I found her together. Since then, I realized that everything we had was only a joke, but that joke was never a funny joke nor an entertaining one but the most hurtful joke I could ever received in my life.
Though her suitor basted by her, I tried to give up my feelings, because I followed what my mind said to me (never expects) I analyzed every single thing we had, I concluded that she’s not a lesbian but she’s just a friendly girl who loves to get into a serious relationship with a BOY by the time she is ready to commit. That conclusion was very suicidal on my part but I tried to move on because I know my dream is impossible and it won’t ever happen. Until we graduated and years passed by, we saw each other again. This is through the use of facebook and I was second Year College then I guess. We chatted and greeted each other; I once or twice visited her in their house, my love for her started to bloom again, because of sweet messages to me, that’s my vulnerability, “sweet message from a sweet girl is my vulnerability”. When I asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said none, and she would wait for the perfect time, she never had one since high school, I asked her just to challenge her. Although I had crushes and I once in love again with other girls, my love for her bloomed once more but not for long and this was because I fell in love with other girls during my college days.

My college days were another suicidal days in my life, I fell in love with my girl classmate. But these were more painful that the prior experience. I had many crushes, but I will focus more on the people I fell in love with. I took (secret) course, the course that changes my life. Anyhow I fell in love with 2 girls. The one when I was 2nd year college, the second when I was 3rd up to 4th year college. The former was painful, and I fell for her for just months only, it was not that remarkable for me, I am moved on this time, but for the purpose of remembering I will tell it all on this writing. The girl was not that pretty and not that intelligent, (the opposite of my first love). I fell in love with her because she’s so friendly to me; my sense of humor was once again the cause of my attachment with her. As I remembered, only month when I we were attached to each other, again it was just a friendship attachment, and I was just paranoid again. It was in the middle of loving her when I learned that she’s in a relationship with a guy “a baduy guy” from that I tried my best to forget but it was so hurtful that my school performance was affected by that situation.

But the pain in my heart had lost easily when I met the second girl. She was different from the other girls. I enjoyed loving her, though she was the most insensitive girl among others. We fought most of the time. My sense of humor for another time was the reason why she liked me. But because of our opposite personalities we fought most of times then. Similar to my prior experiences, I was the one who expecting for her love back, she’s from a broken relationship with our classmate and because I ‘am cute and huggable (my sense of humor too) she enjoyed my company and perhaps I was her way of moving on from her broken relationship. But again, it was another friendship attachment. Though sometimes our sweetness is extraordinary, I bleed because of her. In the middle of my attachment with her, she fell in love again with her ex-boyfriend. I got jealous so I tried my best to separate myself with her, (so I won’t hurt that much) and since we always fighting, It motivated me to move away. I received hurt words from her, not so good treatment as well. That time, my sexuality is not only the problem but my preferences in terms of hobbies, styles, and point of views became the reasons why I bleed and tried my best to move on. Fortunately, I was able to let go of her, and now I confidently say that I am moved on with her memories. And the good thing is that we are all good friends presently.

The experience with the third girl made me more pessimistic about love. I tried my best to compensate my time to something that will make me happy and successful instead. Love is not a love for me, Love is just a word, but its definition doesn’t contain the feeling or the meaning when you’re in love” I became more serious about my work. After college, I volunteered myself as a community organizer in an agency. My sexuality was still the issue, but it was not that my major problem then. I focused more on my existential purpose in this world. I tried to do my best to be a good person and hard working one.

One year later, I fell in love with my first love again (high school); she invited me for a date on Feb 14, 2011. That was my happiest valentines through out my existence. I thought I gave up her. But she was the one who approached me for a date and she’s still kind and lovely to me then. (As I said earlier that’s my vulnerability). Since then, my hope for her love became powerful. However, after all, I found out that she’s in love with our high school classmate, the boy is currently active on church same as her, I think the reason why she’s in love with the guy is because of his (the guy)passion in doing church activities. I almost dead when I learned that, but since I bleed many times before, I was able to handle my depression, however one thing I worried of is my behavior towards love. I feel that everyday my pessimistic point of view about love gets stronger and most of the time I cannot control my anger which affects my work and my relation with other people and my family as well. Most of the time I prefer to be alone, I avoid any of emotional attachment, until I took my board exam.

I took my board exam this year and fortunately I passed the exam, this could be my biggest accomplishment this year, but in terms of love life, I ‘am still hopeless again. Until I met one of my closest friend in college, we took the board exam and board review together, it was almost 3 months and within that time, I fell in love with her, It was weird because during my college days I didn’t have care for her, although we are good friends ever since, but she was really kind and sweet to me, I remember when the time we ate together and she said that she had a crush on me, however since I had fallen in love with my other classmate that time, I ignored her and I took not seriously every thing she had said to me that time, anyway, if I took her seriously, that could be another false interpretation of love again, (perhaps I was just insanely thinking that she’s really in love with me when everything was a just a friendship thing) that’s why I ignored her BUT, my vulnerability prevailed again. After we passed the exam I fall in love again my feeling for her became stronger when I slept over in their house during the days of examination. She is more beautiful than before and she is still so sweet to me, the reason why I fell in love with her. After the board exam I was not able to see her everyday, however, I always see her on twitter, before I ignored her on twitter but since I have fallen in love with her right now, I always poke her with messages in twitter, and she’s tweet me back too with sweet messages like “I love you” a friendship thing but I look at it more than that. She invited me for a date last week only, I also slept over in their house. I was so happy to see her again; we talked, ate and laughed. She also loves me because of my sense of humor. BUT, another reason why I accepted her invitation was to validate if she loves me too, through silent investigation I found out that she’s not in love with me, she’s from a broken relationship two years ago, the reason why she loves to mingle with other people including me is to move on with her traumatic experience wit her former failed relationship. And it hurts like hell.

Until now, I’ am bleeding with my sexuality, I don’t know how to start, though I have plans separate from love live, I am still unhappy with my life, loving is the happiest experience in a man/woman life. But, knowing I could get the love the way I want to it to be felt, it keeps me thinking that I would never ever had I best moment in my life. Everything would be boring. I’ am depressed right now. I want to disclose my sexuality but for what? My family, my friends are not that supportive, I don’t know how is it going to be if I disclosed it now?

I feel my sexuality affect my whole individuality. And I am not happy with it, I had this inferiority complex because of this sexuality, and living with inferiority complex could increase the chances of failing. My profession is very different to what I supposed to portray myself. I should be stronger and I should accept myself. But regardless of professional background and knowledge I have right know if I’ am not happy with my life and that society is not that supportive to our sexuality everything then, would be USELESS. Where can I get the best motivation to speak up the real me?

I ‘am now working in an agency where I supposed to be strong. And I supposed to be stronger enough to handle and to solve my problem (my homosexuality). BUT I can’t. I want every one in this world would be supportive to homosexuals. I don’t want to be rejected, the world we are living right now has full of discriminating laws, policies, and structure. And I want to be heard by someone/somebody who will understand me genuinely, without judgment and rejections.

I ‘am sorry if I wrote so long. My experiences with whom I fell in love with were the saddest moments in my life. For me, loving is the most difficult moment for a homosexuals. Loving should be as sweet as heaven, but it became bitter as hell for us. I don’t want to compensate my broken hope about love to work. I ‘am not the kind of person who will work the rest of my life instead of doing things I preferred the most. But, the problem is the impossibility of my wants.

I want to be loved the way I want, I don’t want to be forever alone, or to devote much of my time in working. I want to be like other people, I want to have what I want to have. Life is temporary and I don’t want to live like an invisible homosexual whose real happiness is so far to achieve.

I want a help from you guys, I want to change my life, I want strength, a person to lean on, and a person to talk with without any pre-judgment impression on whatever I will disclose of. I want a loving responds from what I have been through. This is the first time I wrote to disclose my sexuality after more than 20 years of existence. I WANT A HELP FROM YOU L
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Oscar Atadero (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual straight readers on 12/06/2012 tagged with gender identity, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions
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ProGay consoles Pacquiao, hints rep should work on gay-friendly bills

From GMA News Network

The Progressive Organization of Gays in the Philippines on Sunday came out in support of defeated boxing legend Manny Pacquiao, who was outscored by American Timothy Bradley in their fight, saying that he still needs to quickly return home in order to work on important bills in Congress.

"We sympathize with the Pacquaio camp and all his saddened supporters. But in defeat, we rise again and help build equality in our nation by knocking out discrimination and violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity," said Progressive Organization of Gays in the Philippines, or ProGay, Spokesperson Goya Candelario in a press statement.

Furthermore, ProGay said that the pound-for-pound king Pacquiao should also re-assess his political stand against marriage equality issues and learn to totally accept lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality as a member of the House of Representatives.

A few weeks before his fight with Bradley, Pacquiao was criticized for speaking out against U.S. President Barack Obama's support for lesbian and gay marriage.

"We ask Congressman Pacquiao to support our equality by endorsing the passage of House Bill 1483 or the Antidiscrimination Bill if he really is supportive of LGBT citizens," Candelario added.

ProGay also called on Pacquiao to continue supporting bills that increase wages by P125 in order to revive the economy and thus help gay and transgender salon workers. — DVM, GMA News
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G (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers in response to this story on 04/05/2012 +0
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http://estoryahey.com/2012/05/01/miriam-quiambao-on-gays-homosexuality-is-not-a-sin-but-it-is-a-lie-from-the-devil/
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G (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 04/05/2012 +3
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On national television, a discussion that tackled LGBT issue, a local celebrity said: “Homosexuality is not the one that makes you a sinner. Actually, sexual immorality is what makes you a sinner."

Among her succeeding tweets: “No offense to the LGBT but the Truth is the Truth that comes from God. Take it or leave it. We will all face the judgment seat of God.” “I’m not a savior. Just a messenger. Only Jesus saves. Turn to Jesus. God bless.” “Mahal ko ang LGBT. That’s why I am sharing with you the truth. If you are not ready for it, please don’t shoot me. I am just a messenger.”

But what really ruffled a lot of feathers was another tweet Miriam posted the following Sunday: “Homosexuality is not a sin but it is a lie from the devil. Do not be deceived. God loves gays and wants them to know the truth.”
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Gerald Ygay (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 08/03/2012 tagged with human rights +0
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News article from SunStar Cebu in line with the First Cebu LGBT Congress last March 4, 2012 at Social Hall, 4th Floor Legislative Bldg, Cebu City Hall, Cebu City, Philippines

Gays ask City: ‘Make Cebu friendly to us’
Posted in SunStar Cebu, March 5, 2012.

LGBTs meet, tell City Hall to help end violence against them

The lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender (LGBT) community in Cebu City is asking City officials to make the city LGBTfriendly.

This, after Niel Kintanar, of the Psychological Association of the Philippines (PAP), said the absence of LGBT protection and policies affects the well-being of the members of the LGBT in the city.

In his talk during the 1st LGBT Congress in Cebu at the Social Hall of Cebu City Hall yesterday, Kintanar said the LGBT community, aside from experiencing normal stressors, is experiencing anti-lgbt stigma.

Such stigma, he said, results to hate crimes, anti LGBT violence, and hate movements in social networking sites such as the “Patayin ang Kasaysayan ng mga Bading” among others.

Kintanar said there have been 144 deaths since 1996 in the country because of anti-lgbt violence, and 32 of them were “violently killed” last year.

To lessen hate crimes and erase stigma, Kintanar said policies, rules, and ordinances that protect the welfare of the LGBT community should be passed in the city. Mental health “The absence of LGBT protection and policies results in a significant link between being LGBT and poor mental health,” he said.

Councilor Margarita Osmeña asked the LGBT community to help and guide the City Council in drafting policies for them. “Show us the way on how to be with you and bring out the best in you. Look at us (City Council) not as enemies but as your friends,” she said.

Deliberation Councilor Alvin Dizon, for his part, said his office will make sure the LGBT community will be properly consulted on his proposed Anti-discrimination Ordinance before submitting it back to the council for final deliberation and approval.

Dizon’s proposed ordinance is co-authored by Osmeña and City Councilors Nida Cabrera, Lea Japson, Augustus Pe Jr. and John Philip Po II.

Meanwhile, the LGBT community will again try to gain a seat in the Congress in the 2013 national and local elections.
Mikay Dumabok, of the Akbayan Gays and Lesbians Collective-cebu, said Ang Ladlad Party-list will run again for party-list in next year’s polls and will be fielding their current chairman Bemz Benedito as their candidate.

During the 2010 elections, Ang Ladlad, which was given only three weeks to campaign because of their case against the Commission on Elections, garnered only 120,000 votes, 30,000 votes shy of a seat in Congress.
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Gerald Ygay (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 27/02/2012 tagged with gender identity, human rights, laws and leadership , sexual orientation +0
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Cebu City, hailed Queen City of the South, is the capital city of Cebu and is the "second city" in the Philippines with the second most significant metropolitan centre and known as the oldest settlement established by the Spaniards in the country. In its hike for equality, Councilors Alvin Dizon, Margarita Osmeña, Nida Cabrera, Lea Japson, John Philip Po III and Augustus “Jun” Pe sponsored an ordinance on condemning and banning acts of discrimination against any person on the basis of disability, age, health status, sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity and religion. The Anti-Discrimination Ordinance (ADO) gathered a collective support from various sectors during its first public hearing last January 25, 2012 with at least ten provisions under the prohibited acts that include denial of access to public programs and services, refusing admission or expulsion from educational institutions, and denial of access to medical and health services, based on disability, age, health status, sexual orientation and gender identity, ethnicity and religion. The ADO is holistic in its approach in protecting peoples from discrimination and promoting equality in all levels. Currently, the ADO is up for deliberation for the next session. This encourages the Cebu LGBT community to be vigilant by proactively supporting the passage of the ADO and an island-wide campaign for the replication of the same measure. To add, the Cebu Rainbow LGBT Community is hosting its first Cebu Rainbow LGBT Congress with the theme of " One Cause, One Colorful Community, One Cebu" aimed to foster unity of each LGBT sectors as one strong community, collectively identifying local sectoral issues, establishing the network's core group this coming March 4, 2012 at the Social Hall, Fourth Floor Legislative Building, Cebu City Hall, Cebu City, Philippines.
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Gerald Ygay (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 27/02/2012 tagged with gender identity, human rights, laws and leadership +0
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It is very fortunate in the Resolution No. 12-1672-2011 dated 7 December 2011 of Cebu City's 12th Sangguniang Panlungsod (Legislative Branch)has resolved the inclusion of the LGBT sector on the Gender and Development (GAD) program and to request the Chairperson of the Philippine Commission on Women (PCW) to include the LGBT in the national implementation of GAD programs and services and to urge the Cebu City Women and Family Affairs Commission (CCWFAC, the Association of Barangay Councils (ABC) and Barangay GAD focal persons to include the LGBT sector in the GAD program implementation within Cebu City.
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Brian Don Perez (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers on 07/02/2012 tagged with lgbt families, human rights, sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions, illegality of male to male relationships +4
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Hi.. good day
I'am Brian 20 y/0 gay male i reside in Philippines iam a college student taking up the course nursing actually iam a graduating this coming march. my mom is a plain housewife and my dad is a seaman…. And because my dad is a seaman most of the time he is not at home and we used to met once a year I have my little brother he is 10 year younger to me. When I was still a child I spent most of my time with our relatives and because of the absence of a fathers figure my mom is always there to fulfill all the attention that my dad didn’t gave to me because he is too far from us because of his work. Until at my age of 7 y/o I’ve discovered already myself That I’am a gay and because of my fear to be discriminated or abused I’ve decided to hide my gender to my family but my mom already knows that I’ am a gay because when I was still a baby I suffered from the disease known as hemorrhagic disease of the newborn where in the baby has a low platelet count and because of that condition the baby will star to vomit a blood and have a nosebleed until the baby dies. The only thing to manage this disease is to have a blood transfusion. I was a type B positive that time a B positive is very very difficult to find because of that problem My god mother took the floor she offered her blood because she was a B positive blood type and after the transfusion the doctor talk to my mom and she explained to my mom that your son may have a possibility to be a gay when he grown up because of the blood that we transfused is a blood of a woman and not from a man and after that conversation may mom explained my situation to my daddy and my daddy accepted and understand my situation deeply in to his heart. As time goes by after I graduated my high school and I’ve entered college when I’ve become a 17 y/o my mom and my dad approved me and its ok to them that I become a gay. You know what the feeling of being free and accepted of your family and relatives is one of the most happiest feeling in your life that is the reason why iam so blessed because in behalf of my choosen gender god gave me the opportunity to be loved by my family. And I hope that all of the LGBT who will read my story of my life will be inspired and I hope that they will not surrender because I belive as a LGBT we are all have the rights to be loved, accepted by our family, community and by the world that we are standing in so I hope that we are all fight for our rights especially the approval of same sex marriage we must unite for our future LGBT for them to have a good future without discrimination but having and equalization…

Very truly yours

Brian Don R. Perez
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ZORAYA TOPACIO (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 27/10/2011 +9
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I AM A LESBIAN 42 YEARS OLD ..I AM AN ASPIRING TV/FILM DIRECTOR AND I WANTED TO BE A DIRECTOR OF GAY AND LESBIAN FILM BUT THERE IS NO PRODUCER THAT WILL PRODUCE SUCH FILMS HERE IN MY COUNTRY THE PHILIPPINES ...MY NAME IS ZORAYA TOPACIO FEMALE A RESIDENCE OF THE PHILIPPINES....FOR MORE INFO TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME U CAN EMAIL ME THRU AD13AYA@YAHOO.COM...HELP ME IM JUST HERE TO PROMOTE THAT REGARDLESS OF GENDER LIFE IS FAIR...
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Jhem, 24, is a pretty transgender who frequently wins drag beauty pageants, a loving child and a doting provider to younger siblings who depend on her for their school expenses and lunches. She graduated with a degree in business management. Her neighbors in Barangay Caybiga, Caloocan City considers her to be better off than many residents who live a hard scrabble life in the village where unemployment runs at around 40%.

However, Jhem laments that she has to be content with working as a hairdresser in the neighborhood, working long hours for less thank minimum wage. After graduation, she spent months looking for a job in the corporate world, only to be turned down by erviewers.

"I didn't want to think that my feminine demeanor is the reason why they won't hire me," Jhem sighs. "In college, I was always in denial, refusing to believe my other cross-dressing friends who kept tellim me I will also have to be content working typecast work for queers, like cutting hair."

Like Jhem, hundreds of thousands of transgender, lesbians and gay men are victims of discrimination in hiring policies, wage levels, benefits and other workplace benefits. The problem is so pervasive that the victims are not even painfully aware that they suffer inequalities in quality of life and legal benefits.

However, a bill filed in the House of Representatives in 2010 aims to correct these inequities and provide hope to some eight million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) Filipinos. House Bill 1483, An Act Defining Discrimination on the Basis of Sexual Orientation and

Gender Identity and Providing Penalties Therefor, was authored by Rep. Teodoro Casino who represents the partylist Bayan Muna, a leftist alliance of marginalized sectors,

Also known as the Anti-Discrimination Bill, the measure promises to provide people like Jehm and society at large the legal definition of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, or SOGI for short.

Once discrimination based on SOGI is defined, according to Rep. Casino, then the State can put up mechanisms for citizens to report, file unfair labor cases and access justice for violations of SOGI-related rights. The bill recommends penalties up to 200,000 pesos and prison terms.

During a town hall meeting sponsored by Bayan Muna in the city that explained the features of the bill, Jhem came close to tears after realizing the roots of her lingering unease about her situation.

"I didn't realize that the bakla (effeminate queers) have human rights, too! All my life, I thought I had to endure the taunts from almost everyone in the street. I was already resigned to my fate as a bakla who just silently accepts whatever crumbs come my way," Jhem explained.

The bill is supported by several LGBT activist groups such as ProGay Philippines, a national alliance of grassroots LGBT community organizers. According to ProGay spokesperson Goya Candelario, violations of human rights of LGBTs in the Philippines is difficult to document, precisely because a majority of the victims are not even aware what constitutes violations.

Candelario adds that Filipinos are also in denial about the level of discrimination and homophobia, because the suffering is less harsh compared to more conservative Southeast Asian societies. There are no laws punishing sodomy and other same-sex relations, but at the same time, SOGI status is not a protected classification.

"We usually get complaints about gay job applicants who give up on looking for work in prestigious workplaces, but because of a lack of an anti-discrimination law, the complainants do not get anywhere. We report it to the government, and the police simply laugh and send us away. This should end with House Bill 1483."

Aside from financial losses, ProGay activists assert that discrimination impairs physical and emotional health among victims, making Filipino LGBTs more susceptible to health issues such as malnutrition, personality disorders, sexually transmitted infections, and in the worst cases, traumatic injuries resulting from anti-gay violence.

The proposed law prohibits employers, malls service providers, schools, health care instutition, even public sector institutions such as the police and the military from making policies that bar employment or access according to real or perceived SOGI.

Government agencies who are negligent and that have failed to protect vulnerable groups from violators are also answerable, based on the principle that the State has a responsibility of protecting its citizens. Casino said that the Philippines, as a signatory to global treaties that uphold economic, political, civil and cultural rights, is obligated to chase after the violators and not just claim that the government is not able to implement the law.

However, getting the bill approved is an uphill battle. For now, only a handful of progressive solons are pushing the bill to be calendared for public hearings. ProGay is also doing its part to raise awareness in the public, in a campaign called "One Love, One Call,, Human Rights for All.". Candelario is one of the grassroots trainors who juggles her time between a busy salon and scheduling training workshops for activists.

Candelario goes around town telling people that the bill not only assures equality for LGBTs, but also helps the country gain economically and financially. She says that equality that is achieved with the Anti-Discrimination Bill will help reduce unemployment in a sector that is known for artistic and intellectual creativity. She is asking support from the heterosexual citizens to write or call their congressmen with the aim of getting the bill tabled the soonest.

To participate in the campaign, log on to www.progay.multiply.com
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miles (user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for lesbian readers on 01/09/2010 tagged with human rights +0
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hi Im miles and live in the Philippines .
I just want to ask If there is any programs supported by lesbian
community to help those women who cant get any decent job because they are being discriminated by their chosen sexuality. especially from those 3rd world country such mine,Financial Aid is not necessary but to help us work abroad to help our family.

thank you..and hope to hear from you guys... feel free to email me at dex_ford_22@yahoo.com
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