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PHILIPPINES

Male to Male relationships: Legal
Punishments for male to male relationships: No law
Female to Female Relationships: Legal
Age of consent: Equal for heterosexuals and homosexuals
Is it possible to change your gender on official documents?: No
Gay or lesbian able to serve in the armed forces: Yes

Your Views

Are you LGBTI? We want to hear from you! Help us inform other users of the site with your views on this country. Below is a random question about this country. If it is relevant to you please answer it.

Have you changed government documents in PHILIPPINES concerning your gender identity? How easy was the process?

The majority of people visiting this site have said I have not tried to change official documents

I could change official documents easily (16%) I changed official documents, but with much stress (0 %) I could not change my official documents (0 %) I have not tried to change official documents (83%)

The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in PHILIPPINES...
(user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay readers on 09/04/2013 tagged with gender identity, sexual orientation +15
link
Hi, allow me to introduce myself as "Lei" (definitely not my real name), a young gay guy software engineer working in the Philippines.

I'd like to share to you my first ever true gay love story. I say "true", because it was my first time to experience being loved back as who I am. :-D
This happened during my second year of working as a professional. I remember during my elementary and high school days I've always had male crushes in all the schools I've been into.
Again, I say "all the schools I've been into", because starting from 1st grade, my family have always been moving from place to place, all around the Philippines,
from Luzon, to Visayas, and then Mindanao. And in all those places, I've always had at least one crush from among my classmates. :-D
But anyway, to get to that love story, let's just cut this short.

It was the Christmas season of the year 2012, I was all alone in our home - my family had to go somewhere else for the Christmas break,
but I decided to just stay at home and enjoy the holiday season just by myself. It was 23rd of December, I was online in FB, sending greetings to my friends,
since I've nothing to do. And then all of a sudden, there was this guy who chatted me, just making kumusta (asking how I am doing).
And then, of course, as friendly as I am, I did not ignore his message and I told him that I'm just at home, etc.
Let's just call him "Ken" (not real name). This guy added me as his FB friend two years ago, and for that span of two years,
I never really had a talk with him except for some few instances. One instance I remember was year 2011, when he asked me what type of work I am doing,
and from that conversation he told me that he is an electronics engineer, and then he asked me if I know C++ (a programming language),
because he, as an engineer, has been studying it too as a course. And then that conversation just ended there which I think was not really something memorable at all. :-D
By the way, Ken and I graduated from the same high school, and, the reason I added his as a friend was that his name is familiar,
even if I didn't really remember his face. However, during that Dec23 2012 chat of ours, he reminded me that we were actually high school batchmates,
and, all of a sudden, he told me that I was his high school crush. I could not believe what I was reading on my chat box that time.
Never in my life it crossed my mind that some guy would have a crush on me. I was really impressed with his guts to tell me that on our first interesting chat hahaha. :-D
He went on to tell me that after graduation, there was a Sunday afternoon when he accidentally met me inside a bookstore,
and we exchanged numbers simply because I recognized him as my high school batchmate, a guy from the other section, just a few doors away from my classroom.
And yes, I forgot to mention that we were not classmates - he belonged to another section, and he used to peek from their classroom's window just to see me.
Ahm, please do take note that Ken is not a feminine gay - in fact, no one believes him whenever he tells his friends that he is gay hahaha!
And, according to him, I am a good-looking and intelligent person. Graduated Magna Cum Laude from the university.
But anyway, he recalled that when a committee was looking for someone who would collect contact info of every class officer for the yearbook, he volunteered to do the task,
because I was the class president of our class, and by him doing so, he'd have a reason to go to our classroom to finally meet me in person.
When he told me this, I did not want to believe, but even if those events happened six years ago in Cagayan de Oro city, it was still very kilig for me! :-D
By the way, year 2012, I was in Cebu, and Ken was in Manila for work. To proceed with the story, we kept on talking via fb chat for the entire night.
We exchanged numbers, and immediately we were textmates. He asked me then if we could have a date.
In my mind I was saying, oh this guy's so fast huh? Asking for a date on the first night, but anyway, it was his birthday just a few weeks ago at that time,
and when he teased me for some birthday present, I don't know why I did it, maybe because I got overwhelmed by the feeling that some guy out there has ever liked me,
I offered to get him a round trip to Cebu, thanks to Cebu Pacific's Piso Fare. I told him that if you'd like a date with me and come here in Cebu,
then let's make it a good one - I take you to Cebu beaches. He thought that I was just joking but I really meant that one.
I mean, if for all the guys I liked before, it has been customary for me to be extra kind to them, how much more for someone who likes me for who I am?
I'd be willing to buy tickets for him. I told him that I just want to make him happy, because his my friend, and i just wanted his company,
that's why I wanted to buy him tickets. So January 2013 I did buy him plane tickets.

So, that was the first night of our reunion. The succeeding events came by so fast. We were so grabe in texting one another,
I remember consuming my P500 worth of text messages in less than four days. We just talk about anything - from high school memories,
to our common interests like music and me playing piano and him playing violin, etc. We used to talk about traveling -
me having gone to many places for residency and vacation, also his plans to go to different places in the Philippines.
I talked to him about my barkada, how we spend our nights together partying,looking for fun things to do as a group, or even chatting the night away.
I remember us sharing our dreams - him becoming an excellent IC engineer, me becoming a software engineer in a research-based facility and going to the academe to teach.
It was also fun to know that he is studying French, and me studying Japanese.
I don't know if by coincidence or fate, we shared a lot of things in common. He was also a geek - I remember one time we were talking on the phone,
he was talking about physics but we were both having fun because we both can relate. There were also those days when he would "interrogate" me -
ask me about my family, my attitude in life, my insecurities, my preferences, everything. It was my first time to have somebody interested in me that much.
Although yes, I've had a girlfriend when I was in college, but this was different, because this time, I felt like I was the girl :))

This friendship thing we had, went on for many weeks. One particular thread of conversation we had which I can never forget was when i was telling Ken that,
if ever I'd buy my own house in the future, I'd choose to be in Cebu. Then he asked me, how about Europe? Then I asked him, why Europe?
He replied, because that's where I want to be. I was struck with those words. My understanding was that, he wants me to be in Europe with him.
Ken is good-looking and intelligent and a good-hearted person, but I fell in love with him for those lines.
In a romantic sense, no one has ever made me feel important the way he did. We were already like lovers during that time.
The only thing lacking was the official status that we are boyfriends. I loved him, and I knew that he loved me.
In such happiness of mine, I finally told my friends that I have a "suitor".

But that was what I believed.

Our relationship, whatever it was, went on until early February. Now he is making me aware that he's got some friends from out of the country.
And when he said "friends", I started to have a doubt. I was beginning to sense something weird - whenever he needs assurance from me,
I lavished it upon him, but if it's me finding assurance from him, ahem, no crystal-clear answer came to me.
All he said was, don't be jealous, but if asked why, he won't tell me why.
And then I told myself that this is it, I knew it, either he has a boyfriend already or he has somebody whom he loves better than he loves me.
From then on, our friendship turned sour. I started to get jealous whenever he talks about any "friend" that he has,
and then there were weeks when I would not hear any word from him may it be text of fb chat or gmail chat or email.
Sometimes he'd send me messages but in my anger I won't reply immediately and just make him wait and ignore him.
It was very sudden, and it was painful for me. Really painful. At first I convinced myself that it would be ok, maybe he was just busy,
or maybe, well, the kilig moments are not meant to stay all the way, and at least the commitment from Ken is still there.
But later on I just moved on with my life, and chose to prepare myself to hear that Ken is with some other guy already, and not me.
I was really affected by those turn of events - during times like these I tend to be easily irritated and grumpy, and I dive into overworking.

So, one week more to go, and it's gonna be our schedule for our first date. In my mind I wanted to cancel our date,
but decided not to, because I wanted to know for sure if my doubts are real. So during that week, miraculously, our friendship was somehow restored,
we get to laugh whenever we call each other.

And finally, our long weekend began. He arrived to Cebu early morning, so I went to the airport to fetch him and take him home,
good thing family's not in town again ahaha. Made him sleep because the day before he was in NAIA for the entire day too excited waiting for the plane
that he waited for 10 hours ahead of schedule. At first it was awkward at the airport and at the taxi. But at home, after we had our breakfast,
we lied at the bed, and he hugged me, and I just hugged him in return. It was like all the pain I've had was suddenly gone.
We talked and talked for the entire day. Embraced one another, kisses here and there ahahha.
But take note, he did not want us to have sex because he doesn't want me to think that he came to Cebu just for sex.
So I was just ok with it. I prepared lunch and dinner for the two of us and it was a nice feeling to take care of somebody who also cares for you.
On the following day, I took him to a beach far from the city. We had fun, swimming in the beach, eating exotic food, taking pictures.
And finally, we talked about our status. I was right. There is another guy whom he loves and loves him in return.
He did not hide from me the details. He even showed me pictures of the guy from his cellphone.
He met that guy just a few months before we had our first chat in fb.
That was the other reason he did not want to have sex with me. That was the reason why he could not give me any assurance before.
Although I was emotionally prepared for this, I was not able to take it so I cried, while he was embracing me, and I was leaning on him.
He told me that he's guilty of giving me false hopes, and I admitted that I gave in too quickly. Although it really did hurt me a lot,
for me our date was still worth it all, because I felt free from having to believe in an illusion that we can be together.
So, for the last night, we slept together, now only as special friends. But the hugging and kissing were still there ahha!
On the following day, we went back to the city and I sent him to his long-time-no-see uncle,
which was out of our original plan and sort of took away our precious time together and became a reason of our quarrel and I felt really bad about it but still
I decided to send him to the airport before him boarding the airplane back to Manila.
He apologized for his mistake of allowing our time together to be cut short by his sudden meeting with this uncle,
but anyway, I forgave him, and we were ok before we parted.

From then on, Ken and I became special friends and kept in touch with one another. Special, in the sense that, although the two of us could not be together
because he's got somebody to love who also loves him, the two of us have left a mark on each others' lives.
He thanked me for everything and told me that no one has ever done what I have done for him - love him the way I did,
bought him a round trip ticket, prepared every detail of our date without expecting anything in return,
and treated him as a gay friend unto whom he can just be himself, without pretensions.
I also thanked him for accepting me with all my imperfections and insecurities, for making me feel loved,
even if it all ended so soon, at least it's way much better than loving someone who will never love you in return,
just like all the other guys I've had a crush on.
add response to story
(user currently living in PHILIPPINES) posted for gay readers on 09/04/2013 tagged with gender identity, sexual orientation +15
link
Hi, allow me to introduce myself as "Lei" (definitely not my real name), a young gay guy software engineer working in the Philippines.

I'd like to share to you my first ever true gay love story. I say "true", because it was my first time to experience being loved back as who I am. :-D
This happened during my second year of working as a professional. I remember during my elementary and high school days I've always had male crushes in all the schools I've been into.
Again, I say "all the schools I've been into", because starting from 1st grade, my family have always been moving from place to place, all around the Philippines,
from Luzon, to Visayas, and then Mindanao. And in all those places, I've always had at least one crush from among my classmates. :-D
But anyway, to get to that love story, let's just cut this short.

It was the Christmas season of the year 2012, I was all alone in our home - my family had to go somewhere else for the Christmas break,
but I decided to just stay at home and enjoy the holiday season just by myself. It was 23rd of December, I was online in FB, sending greetings to my friends,
since I've nothing to do. And then all of a sudden, there was this guy who chatted me, just making kumusta (asking how I am doing).
And then, of course, as friendly as I am, I did not ignore his message and I told him that I'm just at home, etc.
Let's just call him "Ken" (not real name). This guy added me as his FB friend two years ago, and for that span of two years,
I never really had a talk with him except for some few instances. One instance I remember was year 2011, when he asked me what type of work I am doing,
and from that conversation he told me that he is an electronics engineer, and then he asked me if I know C++ (a programming language),
because he, as an engineer, has been studying it too as a course. And then that conversation just ended there which I think was not really something memorable at all. :-D
By the way, Ken and I graduated from the same high school, and, the reason I added his as a friend was that his name is familiar,
even if I didn't really remember his face. However, during that Dec23 2012 chat of ours, he reminded me that we were actually high school batchmates,
and, all of a sudden, he told me that I was his high school crush. I could not believe what I was reading on my chat box that time.
Never in my life it crossed my mind that some guy would have a crush on me. I was really impressed with his guts to tell me that on our first interesting chat hahaha. :-D
He went on to tell me that after graduation, there was a Sunday afternoon when he accidentally met me inside a bookstore,
and we exchanged numbers simply because I recognized him as my high school batchmate, a guy from the other section, just a few doors away from my classroom.
And yes, I forgot to mention that we were not classmates - he belonged to another section, and he used to peek from their classroom's window just to see me.
Ahm, please do take note that Ken is not a feminine gay - in fact, no one believes him whenever he tells his friends that he is gay hahaha!
And, according to him, I am a good-looking and intelligent person. Graduated Magna Cum Laude from the university.
But anyway, he recalled that when a committee was looking for someone who would collect contact info of every class officer for the yearbook, he volunteered to do the task,
because I was the class president of our class, and by him doing so, he'd have a reason to go to our classroom to finally meet me in person.
When he told me this, I did not want to believe, but even if those events happened six years ago in Cagayan de Oro city, it was still very kilig for me! :-D
By the way, year 2012, I was in Cebu, and Ken was in Manila for work. To proceed with the story, we kept on talking via fb chat for the entire night.
We exchanged numbers, and immediately we were textmates. He asked me then if we could have a date.
In my mind I was saying, oh this guy's so fast huh? Asking for a date on the first night, but anyway, it was his birthday just a few weeks ago at that time,
and when he teased me for some birthday present, I don't know why I did it, maybe because I got overwhelmed by the feeling that some guy out there has ever liked me,
I offered to get him a round trip to Cebu, thanks to Cebu Pacific's Piso Fare. I told him that if you'd like a date with me and come here in Cebu,
then let's make it a good one - I take you to Cebu beaches. He thought that I was just joking but I really meant that one.
I mean, if for all the guys I liked before, it has been customary for me to be extra kind to them, how much more for someone who likes me for who I am?
I'd be willing to buy tickets for him. I told him that I just want to make him happy, because his my friend, and i just wanted his company,
that's why I wanted to buy him tickets. So January 2013 I did buy him plane tickets.

So, that was the first night of our reunion. The succeeding events came by so fast. We were so grabe in texting one another,
I remember consuming my P500 worth of text messages in less than four days. We just talk about anything - from high school memories,
to our common interests like music and me playing piano and him playing violin, etc. We used to talk about traveling -
me having gone to many places for residency and vacation, also his plans to go to different places in the Philippines.
I talked to him about my barkada, how we spend our nights together partying,looking for fun things to do as a group, or even chatting the night away.
I remember us sharing our dreams - him becoming an excellent IC engineer, me becoming a software engineer in a research-based facility and going to the academe to teach.
It was also fun to know that he is studying French, and me studying Japanese.
I don't know if by coincidence or fate, we shared a lot of things in common. He was also a geek - I remember one time we were talking on the phone,
he was talking about physics but we were both having fun because we both can relate. There were also those days when he would "interrogate" me -
ask me about my family, my attitude in life, my insecurities, my preferences, everything. It was my first time to have somebody interested in me that much.
Although yes, I've had a girlfriend when I was in college, but this was different, because this time, I felt like I was the girl :))

This friendship thing we had, went on for many weeks. One particular thread of conversation we had which I can never forget was when i was telling Ken that,
if ever I'd buy my own house in the future, I'd choose to be in Cebu. Then he asked me, how about Europe? Then I asked him, why Europe?
He replied, because that's where I want to be. I was struck with those words. My understanding was that, he wants me to be in Europe with him.
Ken is good-looking and intelligent and a good-hearted person, but I fell in love with him for those lines.
In a romantic sense, no one has ever made me feel important the way he did. We were already like lovers during that time.
The only thing lacking was the official status that we are boyfriends. I loved him, and I knew that he loved me.
In such happiness of mine, I finally told my friends that I have a "suitor".

But that was what I believed.

Our relationship, whatever it was, went on until early February. Now he is making me aware that he's got some friends from out of the country.
And when he said "friends", I started to have a doubt. I was beginning to sense something weird - whenever he needs assurance from me,
I lavished it upon him, but if it's me finding assurance from him, ahem, no crystal-clear answer came to me.
All he said was, don't be jealous, but if asked why, he won't tell me why.
And then I told myself that this is it, I knew it, either he has a boyfriend already or he has somebody whom he loves better than he loves me.
From then on, our friendship turned sour. I started to get jealous whenever he talks about any "friend" that he has,
and then there were weeks when I would not hear any word from him may it be text of fb chat or gmail chat or email.
Sometimes he'd send me messages but in my anger I won't reply immediately and just make him wait and ignore him.
It was very sudden, and it was painful for me. Really painful. At first I convinced myself that it would be ok, maybe he was just busy,
or maybe, well, the kilig moments are not meant to stay all the way, and at least the commitment from Ken is still there.
But later on I just moved on with my life, and chose to prepare myself to hear that Ken is with some other guy already, and not me.
I was really affected by those turn of events - during times like these I tend to be easily irritated and grumpy, and I dive into overworking.

So, one week more to go, and it's gonna be our schedule for our first date. In my mind I wanted to cancel our date,
but decided not to, because I wanted to know for sure if my doubts are real. So during that week, miraculously, our friendship was somehow restored,
we get to laugh whenever we call each other.

And finally, our long weekend began. He arrived to Cebu early morning, so I went to the airport to fetch him and take him home,
good thing family's not in town again ahaha. Made him sleep because the day before he was in NAIA for the entire day too excited waiting for the plane
that he waited for 10 hours ahead of schedule. At first it was awkward at the airport and at the taxi. But at home, after we had our breakfast,
we lied at the bed, and he hugged me, and I just hugged him in return. It was like all the pain I've had was suddenly gone.
We talked and talked for the entire day. Embraced one another, kisses here and there ahahha.
But take note, he did not want us to have sex because he doesn't want me to think that he came to Cebu just for sex.
So I was just ok with it. I prepared lunch and dinner for the two of us and it was a nice feeling to take care of somebody who also cares for you.
On the following day, I took him to a beach far from the city. We had fun, swimming in the beach, eating exotic food, taking pictures.
And finally, we talked about our status. I was right. There is another guy whom he loves and loves him in return.
He did not hide from me the details. He even showed me pictures of the guy from his cellphone.
He met that guy just a few months before we had our first chat in fb.
That was the other reason he did not want to have sex with me. That was the reason why he could not give me any assurance before.
Although I was emotionally prepared for this, I was not able to take it so I cried, while he was embracing me, and I was leaning on him.
He told me that he's guilty of giving me false hopes, and I admitted that I gave in too quickly. Although it really did hurt me a lot,
for me our date was still worth it all, because I felt free from having to believe in an illusion that we can be together.
So, for the last night, we slept together, now only as special friends. But the hugging and kissing were still there ahha!
On the following day, we went back to the city and I sent him to his long-time-no-see uncle,
which was out of our original plan and sort of took away our precious time together and became a reason of our quarrel and I felt really bad about it but still
I decided to send him to the airport before him boarding the airplane back to Manila.
He apologized for his mistake of allowing our time together to be cut short by his sudden meeting with this uncle,
but anyway, I forgave him, and we were ok before we parted.

From then on, Ken and I became special friends and kept in touch with one another. Special, in the sense that, although the two of us could not be together
because he's got somebody to love who also loves him, the two of us have left a mark on each others' lives.
He thanked me for everything and told me that no one has ever done what I have done for him - love him the way I did,
bought him a round trip ticket, prepared every detail of our date without expecting anything in return,
and treated him as a gay friend unto whom he can just be himself, without pretensions.
I also thanked him for accepting me with all my imperfections and insecurities, for making me feel loved,
even if it all ended so soon, at least it's way much better than loving someone who will never love you in return,
just like all the other guys I've had a crush on.
add response to story
Margarida (user currently living in GABON) posted for readers on 09/10/2013
link
I usually just read and learn from other pelope's posts but I feel like I might be able to give other pelope comfort and confidence to delve into the unknown on this particular thread Here's a bit of background on myself. I'm 21, black, born and raised in an African country where homosexuality is illegal and you could go to prison for it. Luckily,I moved to the UK a few years back so my journey has been easier than it could have been.I've had a few male sexual partners. The sexual experiences were pretty lackluster with most guys. But with my last bf, the emotional and sexual chemistry were intense. It was amazing. I really loved his company and we laughed and had a great relationship while it lasted. We eventually broke up because he moved to a different country. Fortunately, we're still really good friends. So I know that I can be attracted to a man and be completely happy with him. However, one thing that I can't explain is that I sometimes pretended I was with a girl for me to climax during sex.I've had drunken kisses with my straight girl friends and I felt nothing. But I've had crushes on other girls since my early teens and I dreamt and fantasised about kissing etc with them. Being in an environment where being anything other than straight means being imprisoned and being disowned by your family, I didn't act on my attraction. Moving to the UK allowed me the opportunity to freely explore myself without fear of being a social outcast. So after I broke up with my lovely ex, I actively hung out with my gay friends and used online dating sites to meet other women so I could meet a girl that I clicked' with. And after a few months of unsuccessful, really boring dates, I finally met a girl who's beautiful, funny, smart and really sweet. Our first date lasted 5 hours and we talk and text a lot now. I explained to her that I found girls attractive, but I'd never had emotional feelings for a girl, that it was all new to me, that I wasn't sure if I was bisexual or bicurious or whatever. She has been really understanding and wanted to take things slow on my behalf. I had to go on holiday for a couple of weeks for Christmas so I haven't seen her since our first date. But we've kept in touch, and flirted a lot and I know I don't want to take things slow. She's great and I'm ready!I guess I'm sharing my story to give confidence to everyone else who's confused to actively find themselves'. My family is conservative and religious and it will be extremely difficult for them to accept my sexuality (they sat me down for a chat about how God doesn't like that kind of thing after they saw one of my dating profiles.) And I am terrified of having to tell my parents should I ever fall in love with a woman. But I've realised that I'm a lot better off knowing who I am, and what makes me happy. Ultimately, they want me to be happy too, and that gives me hope.My story is far from a happy ever after ending, but I hope it will comfort someone else who is confused and feels alone. Take it one step at a time beauties. Don't let the pressure thwart your inner light xxx
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Ionel (user currently living in CYPRUS) posted for readers on 10/10/2013
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