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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
Share your experiences in PAKISTAN - Let others know what it’s like to be LGBTI in your country! If an experience is meaningful for you, it will probably be meaningful for someone else. On whatever topic, whether good or bad, your story is how the world knows about your country and LGBTI life. By selecting tags that mark the topic your story, others can learn from your experience.
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in PAKISTAN...
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showing stories 51-100

abc (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 26/08/2013 tagged with illegality of male to male relationships +9
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i am a gay and i think pakistni govt should make a law for gay, lesbian marriage
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Sultan (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender intersex straight readers in response to this story on 15/08/2013
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i am working on Sexual health of youth including gay, lesbian , trans gender etc, please contact me . i am interested to outreach these groups. you can contact me at 0344 5053818 islamabad
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REGGIE (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay readers on 02/08/2013 +0
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i would like fall in love with pakistani very much but i know they are very strcit law but i bit disappointed really why some old man from pakistani who work for taxi he is very nice person i do like him very much really so i wish have pakistani older gay i loved so i can look after him very much so never mind bit sad really,
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March (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay bisexual readers on 05/07/2013 tagged with human rights, religion, illegality of male to male relationships +25
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Hello readers.
Well my name is March (as I don't want to expose it here). The story goes like this that I'm a good looking young guy. Who is really creative and innovative by thoughts. Who really wants to go abroad and prove himself in any field of life. But unfortunately life has been too tough on me. I'd been in lahore for like 8 months and I through a gay networking website, met ample people and dated them. Yet I finally concluded after my experiences that lahore has completely transformed into an HUB OF GAYS. Guys have now started to cross dress and they call each other BAJI (SISTER). I mean what the hell is going on! Well if this is a bitter truth then why we are not ready to accept it? It must be accepted by hook or by crook. Now the problem is that my family got to know by some means that I'm gay too. But I'm not completely gay I'm a bisexual. Im in a relationship with a female. But I enjoy being with guys too. My family wants me to quit all this creep. But I want to quit my family. But as a student I'm not financially sound to be on my own. I've completed my graduation, but I guess there are no much jobs unless you have masters in some program. I feel myself so lonely. I want to quit everything and want to fly abroad. I want someone to help me...
Somebody who can save me... :(
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decentlyqueer posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 21/06/2013 +10
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its very commendable of you and a very lovely step. I honestly applaud for you stand up for such rights. I was also wondering if you know any place to find decent lesbians within karachi?

regards
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fahad (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 12/06/2013 +15
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i m 27 years old gay from Pakistan..i belong to a Muslim family and gay marriages and relations are illegal and not accepted here..i can not tell my family about my sexual orientation and they will force me to marry a girl one day...i don't want to ruin a girl's life because i m gay and i can't give love to a girl or my wife which she deserves....if anyone has solution of my problem..tell me please....add me on facebook www.facebook.com/fahadalihere
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ali posted for gay readers in response to this story on 10/06/2013 +5
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I m ali from Islamabad but now i live in America. i m a gay and i like homosexuality.
I m very thankful to US Govt and US ambassador and paticularly my best friend farooq ahmed guide me for US shelter visa.Now share our homosexual friend for how you can get US shelter visa,You 1St of all create homosexual club and register internationally homosexual organization then apply (US international homosexual program).
If any question for homosexual shelter guidance so E-MAIL to: skystar30@yahoo.com
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Ali (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers in response to this story on 06/06/2013 +9
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Where are u from ?
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shakil (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay bisexual readers on 30/05/2013 +25
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Hi, I am Shakil, 27 years old, but i still could not shared with what i am what i want because i belong to muslim family and i know i am Muslim, belong to country where its not allowed to man can Love man.. But here in Pakistan gays are just used for sex needs..

But i feel i don't know why i do love man. i want to live my life i have right to live because i feel what i want.
how i am writhing nobody knows so why i follow them.???
i want to break all the rule just i need a life partner.

I love and like guys who are elder than me, who like old things, old music, old but good ideas. I don't believe in figure and dicks or such type of things, i just like who loves me and cares me whoever is he.

if you have seen Syed's and Chris (Gay) Love Story same like that i need boyfriend or Lover, well he is not financially well but i will compromise and try to fulfill my and his needs.
i have downloaded Movie Beautiful Thing which is gay movie but still i could not have watched, well its story is about two boys who are disappointed from their lives but when they meet together they change their lives....
so i am waiting for an angel who comes and change my life forever.

I am Social Worker, working with Non Governmental Organization NGO, i love to work for Child Protection so i am working with Child Protection NGO as Project Coordinator. WE have established two Functional Literacy and Life Skills Centers for Child Labor where 200 hundred workers 07 to 13 years old are being facilitated... even i am sick of our Chairman but still for children i work.. before working here i had worked with International Rescue Committee IRC as Protection Officer since 08 December 2010 to 31 December 2011, and my previous experience is working with Save the Children as Community Mobilizer..

If you will understand this Poem you will realized how i am suffering and what i feel...

If My Suffering Found a Tongue

My suffering is a song unsung
My soul a speck without a seal

If my surfing found a tongue
My name and sign it would reveal

If of my soul I found the sign
I would perceive the world’s design

If this secret were in my reach
My silence would acquire speech

Sway over all created things
And the empire of both worlds be mine
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for transgender readers on 20/05/2013 +10
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Im A.A living in Faisalabad Pakistan . im a transsexual . i came to know my identity in the age of 24 that what im actually . Since my childhood i used to wear female clothes i always ditched on wearing female clothes n makeup . My brother n my parents were always against it but i don't know why i used to wear all that despite knowing that I'll get smaked. my attitude n my feelings were all like females ... i always preferred to play with my girl class mates n my boy class mates always used to tease me on that ... they used to call me by different name which made me ashamed like they called me Hijra (transgender) etc it made me let v down when they called me by such names in public . it made me depressed . they want to exploit me sexually . all these attitudes made me so hurting . i was trying to make me a masculine . because my mates had objection on my walking n talking styles . i used to do practice in speaking like mens n walking like mens but despite of my lot of hard work i couldn't made myself a man . i faced a lot of criticism . when i been little elder all humiliating behavior increased day by day . i tried suicide twice but i survived . all my issues are hurting me my female attitude my sexuality my gender identity . i went to a psychiatrist for help i asked him to make me a male he gave me male hormone therapy it created medical complications but couldn't change my attitude n sexuality . my studies were disturbed . then i know about my issues with the help of my friend that it called transsexuality . then i meet Dr in islamabad he is v v kind n expert in his profession he guided me in all ways . he did my psychological evaluation n suggest me sexual reassignment surgery . when my parents came to know that im going to have surgery they throw me away from their home . now im living in v bad conditions i just trying to complete my study to get a good job . i want to say all readers please think before treating us in such humiliating n inhumane way. and i would like to advise transsexuals please hide ur identity till u got completed ur studies .
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Amar (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 05/05/2013 tagged with armed forces +10
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Hello,

i am Amar, i am 23 years old i am a student fro Lahore (Pakistan) i found my sexual orientation is Gay.
when my family knows about my personality they refuse to accept me longer. now a days i am sick. i have no idea where i discuss my issues my life. In Pakistan i not found a proper setup where i can go and discuss my issues and get the solvency of that.
I see lot of the buddies they out from their houses due to their Gay sexuality. when families drop the child from the family he work a gay / Shemale / male sex worker but can,t run their study set up. i want to complete my study. also want to bees a normal life with my boyfriend. but in my own country i cannot do this. I need the help of international organization they work for LGBT rights. such organization help out me that s why i can complete my study. i also want to make a setup with the help of LGBT rights organization for those gay guys they want to get study but can,t do that by financial crises.
Please help me and lead to me successful direction.
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an effiminate (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 10/04/2013 tagged with at the work place, lgbt families +10
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where ours orthodox norms crushing us, ours cruel stereotypes suffocating us since centuries the LGBT compaign is a hope for the people like me to breath at will but on it positive senses......like me i am an mphil qualified person . From a prestigious university of islamabad city with thirty years of age i do not have any job because i looks gay.... Evn i am not....and evn if i am so should i not have right to earn my livelyhood?
We need change we need help....we need this revolution.
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 08/01/2013 +24
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to all LGBT friends plz contact me as i will help you out.
regards,

seema khan
karachi
seemakhan1978@hotmail.com
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Pakistan (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for bisexual readers on 06/12/2012 +20
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Hi My name is Sam and i live in Karachi, Pakistan. I am currently living my life hiding from extremist people who have attacked me in the past and now i fear my life, can anyone help me seek asylum aboard from a life that i live as a persecuted individual ... my contact info is mobile no. +92 03362196039 and my facebook profile link is https://www.facebook.com/gaykhan12?ref=tn_tnmn ... do contact me help me please :(
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for readers on 24/11/2012 tagged with health +24
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My Sexuality Dilema: Your Opinion And Advice Sought!!

I'm 34 years old. Since the age of 11 or 12, I have had a rather peculiar condition as regards my sexuality:



Instead of feeling sexually attracted toward the women, I feel attraction toward men aged a lot higher than myself. My desire is always to feel and explore their body--bosom and genitalia --, exchanging hugs and kisses and sharing their bed, BUT I NEVER FEEL ANY URGE FOR ANAL SEX -- whether be acting as top or bottom, nor do I have any lust for nudity. All I seek is a close contact with an aged person of my erotic liking, and that causes me to ejaculate.



In almost all of my sexual fantacies and dreams, I find myself enjoying an expereince of this sort or being wishful of being such and such a person's wife, or female sexual partner.



I once even had sex with a women so as to give myself the taste of the feeling so I could get my sexuality straightened. but the condition still remains despite that and the fact that I don't have -- and haven't had -- any male companion to cater to my desire.



I'm nowadays studying at a university, in an open and free co-education environment, where the males and the females freely intermingle, but, while I do enjoy talking to my female peers here, the only sexual urge I have ever felt during my three year stay here has been toward the male aged people that I have come into contact with -- among them three faculty members (with ages nearly 63, 66, and 77, respectively), the directors of hostels and of messing (both aged around 60), and a hostel caretaker (aged 61), for instance.


Last year in May, I had my first-ever free encounter with an aged person, a 63-year-old New Yorker gay, which I really enjoyed, but have never had any such opportunity despite many attempts on my part.



Since then, I've been visiting the most senior and aged professor of mine, who lives on campus all alone, his family being settled in Australia. I've tried many times to tacitly invite him to indulge in erotic acts and have noticed that he although he's taken the hints and perhaps would even like to accept the offer, but for fear of his repute!!



In the past, I've tried with several other aged people to entice them into the amorous activity, but have had very little success. The other person would sometimes not take the hint at all; sometimes tacitly ignore or even indulge; and once or twice even explicitly rebuke me.



In the above paragraph I've tried my best to describe accurately and to the point my actual situation. Please feel free, however, to ask any questions to enable you to get to the heart of the matter. I hope you could give me some good and well-thought-out advice on how best I can cope with my condition.


I would be really grateful if you can help me overcome this condition and be able to lead a normal sexually straight life.



Regards.

Saaqib Mahmood

Abbottabad,

Pakistan
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Lash posted for gay readers in response to this story on 05/11/2012 +30
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I am a gay boy from Pakistan... Here i am really very tensed because i can't live my life with my own lifestyle... Pakistani society is strict society for gays... I wanna get rid of all these issues which are making hurdles in my own gay life... Kindly, guide me to leave this society.... I am an educated and intelligent guy wanna some sort of help to leave Pakistan and to have job in the other countries, where gays can live free and have the right for same sex marriage....
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Syed Ali Murad (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for bisexual readers on 05/11/2012 +25
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I am 18 years old.And i Lives in Pakistan.I am Bisexual.There is no rights for us in Pakistan.I want a job in Europe,specially in Spain,in any gay sex network companny.Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz HELP ME.And sorry for my Bad English because i know only Urdu language.0331-5878214 contac with me and give me a job plzzzzzzz.On Face Book my ID is sillentkiller007@hotmail.com.And if you call me between 11am t0 1pm(At Pakistan Time).And plzzzzzzzzzz Dont inform to my parents that i like gay sex because they are Muslims.
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azib (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for straight readers on 03/11/2012 tagged with at the work place, human rights +28
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Hello I am a girl from Pakistan. I need help for myself. I want to change my sex and I want to become a boy. I know my need is unusual and there are many problems and needs to fulfill in this world. But I cannot stay any more in this life as girl. I am fed to live as a girl please considers my request as soon as possible. I am very small more than a particle but how is it possible to live with that body which I cannot accept at heart and soul inside me there is no wish to live any more as girl. I wish any one would help me and support me in all the way I have sent mails to white house and secretary of Helery Clinton but no one is responding me please do something don't let me down I will be thankful to you.Every one read my mail and delete it or they send it to dustbin I am surprised from all those to whom i sent mails because if they are human being they will obviously help me they only make excuses that its not their department or they only help group of people not individual. Please don't ignore my wish, also give orders to help me to the concerned authority am alone without power without money without support I am a Muslim girl so that’s why I can't ask to anyone in my country everyone say that I am mad but a I am not mad I am in my conscious I just want to become a boy I can't sleep I hate myself thank you so much. Can you help me waiting for your positive response’s don't have money I am help less but I am not fake please don't ignore my message. The basic reason for all this is I am not satisfied with this life I cannot do anything no further study no emotions no thoughts no hope except this because I always lost, when I want something it became possible because I am selfless because of this body, I want to die that’s all . I cannot do anything for my self because i am helpless just like a toad in a well.
Regards.
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shah (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 16/07/2012 +30
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hi..how are you.iam a gay from pakistan age 22..at the age of 16 i know that iam a gay.i did,nt tell anyone about that iam gay.because it very hard in pakistan that people accept any one as gay.and could case life prision or death if any body know about you .and its hard to find any relationship.i live as single and its too hard for me live in pakistan as gay.please any one give me response hos i managed my self as gay. my email idd is handsum_boy20@yahoo.com
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Qamar (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 12/06/2012 +20
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I am a gay since I was 10. One of my cousion started homo with me. Latter I find myself. And now I can not live without being gay. Here in Pakistan soem people are eage rto kill me because of being a gay. I dont know what to do. Every job i started was finished due to thsi problem. Let see what happens next.
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Andre (user currently living in NIGERIA) posted for gay lesbian readers in response to this story on 27/03/2012 +15
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am Andre from nigeria west africa i am new to this gay thing and i ve not done it before so i need you to teach me and show me ..my email is andrewunabor@yahoo.com..+2348094689531 is my cell phone number call me if you wish..you can have sex to me so i don't know what is called if am a gay or bissexual or lesbian
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian readers on 25/03/2012 tagged with marriage / civil unions +15
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A good friend of mine has just returned to PK from the UK to a family desperate to get him married off howEVER he's gay of course.
Does anyone know of any way to reach (preferably well-educated) lesbians in PK who might be interested in a marriage of 'convenience' ??
James - UK
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first night (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 23/03/2012 +28
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i,m had a friend he was very pretty and very sexy. he would never talk and nor lifts anyone except me. one day we r go for outing on the murree hills very cold and beutiful place in pakistan.
when we r go there snow falling is begin. i ask him for delay our trip and go in a hotel for night sleep. when we get an room tehre was only one bed for sleep. i,m ask him that u sleep on bed and i"ll on the floor he accept my sugestion.
so i,m laying down on floor and he was on bed.
at nights half passed i feel he was not sleep like me even he was on the bed with worm blanket.
then i hear something.
he ask me slowly asif r u awaking? he ask me two times.
then i see to them smile and say"no".
he asks" why"?
i says there is very cold i feel on the floor.
he think a while and ask"realy ?"
yes it is.

he smiles and say come on the bed with me.
r u kidding me at 1am?
no i,m serious!
so then i,m walk and put my body on the worm bed. he put his blanket on me. thank u i say.
its ok.
i,m ask him why not u sleep even u r on the worm bed.

he smiles and put his hand on my thaghies.
i need u r worm body?
i ask him this is not right we r good friends?
he smiles and says everything is possible in friendship.
he put his hand on my cock.
ohhhh it was unforgetable experience for me.
then i,m take him with all night kissing and fucking.
that was my first experience now he was in canada.
but i,m trying to forget that night but it is impossible.
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Being a homosexual in Pakistan means being a criminal, a person who is in complete violation of laws and culture. Gay people get killed just by being gay, our friends abandon us, families disown us, all because we choose to like a certain person. People wouldn't even talk about this topic. This is how bad we are considered in our own country. I wish i could have a way to change this. I wish i could give people hope and freedom. I wish i could save people from hiding their identities and their love for someone. The situation in Pakistan is especially sad because of the religious extremism. Islam is a beautiful religion and people are corrupting it by saying it forbids homosexuality. There is no such thing like that and i want people to know. We need a change and its time we started working on it.
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Naseer Ahmed Khan (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 21/11/2011 tagged with laws and leadership , religion, illegality of male to male relationships +8
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...Hi My name is Naseer Ahmed Khan...I am gay and want a same sex marriage...but very unfortunately here in my country...its never allowed and its considered like a huge sin...If i will take any step in front of all..I may be killed by relatives or religious people....somebody please give me an advice...I shall be very thankful to you for this act of kindness..

Best Regards,
Naseer
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Abbasi (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 19/10/2011 +15
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I am From Pakistan and and i am gay.i had sex with guys at my young age but i was not sure i am gay or not then i got engaged to a girl i thought it will be OK by the time after some years that i got to know my self that i am gay was married to a girl because of family pressure now i am a married man but i have no interest in my wife i tried lot to be like other straight guys but it cant help me . i am very worried about my self and my wife some time i feel that i destroyed her life i can not leave him because of my family i don't know what to do . some time i think i should be commit suicide .:( there are many depressing stories i Pakistan
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make history (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 27/09/2011 +10
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hello , i am bisexual from pakistan , i want to work for LGBT rights in pakistan , plz support
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers on 21/04/2011 +12
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The situation of Les women are so worst, exhausting and disappointing of relations in our country. I met with one couple because we are working on sexual oriented communities at local level in our city ( because of danger I don't mention the names or place )I tried to help them one name is A and other C , A fell in love with C and C 's parents forcibly contracted marriage papers and gave her all sorts of torture for Rukhsatti ( force her to live with him )she refused on some points, while the A contacted with me to sort out some ways to help them and I was help them in different ways and finally after a lot mental and psychical torture from their families, they settle down for some points and secretly meet each other how I advised them because they need shelter and place if they want to meet each other or spent some time together then their life remain safe and secure. This is story actually i wanted to share maybe after this if other women want to contact to share their problems and we try to help them provide counselling them to agree on some certain points that their life remain secure and safe.
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(user currently living in AUSTRALIA) posted for gay readers on 20/03/2011 +20
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I am not sure from where to start.........i was a Yong kid when i was molested by my adult male cousins and neighbors and i was unable to tell any one of my family.....but at the end had attraction towards men..
i grew up went to higher school...boys from senior classes and molested me.....
Came to know about my sexuality in start of my graduation.. this was the time i felt myself cursed and guilty....
i always heard from my friends that gay guys are the most disgusting creature in this universe and i was not able to tell about myself ever....this was killing me every second... then i heard its completely forbidden in Islam and this made my situation worst.........
I know i am honest and can't pretend....lie to others and pretending some thing "Which i am NOT" was like agony i was IN....
i spent in this situation 10years of my life, dieing every min..... tried to commit suicide being sick of guilty, shame, embarrassment and FEAR....
infact couldn't hide and caught by my friends and family.....my elder sister hated me and accused me like any thing....my younger brother has been abusing me in front of his friends and my friends like SLUT< GANDO, MAN's BITCH............i stopped going out and seeing people in family and friends, lockup myself in my room for months.......
Went to England and had time of my life.......but my parents forced me to get married, i tired my hard but couldn't resist, because i love my parents....i decided never to come back...but younger brother was bully to my parents like he was always to me.....i decided to come back to Pakistan.....sacrificed myself to protect my parents from HIM, got my wife...no escape........
New era of pain starts....... i was back from England..got courage to express my real soul......got notorious and name of filthy shit because i was gay.... my brilliant academic career, hardwork, honesty, kindness, intelligence was nothing to them... i started feeling alienated and made myself alone...
at home wife made my life hell along with my guilt of being not honest to her, being pretentious was killing me every moment....my family, parents, friends (even they knew that i was gay, ad i can't help it), relatives declared me a cruel, mean and selfless person and sentenced me punishment of being alone........ tried to commit suicide again (survived).....i always wish i could be straight and living a happy life like all others with wives and kids.... i was completely shattered.....
Then a friend came to my life.... a fresh breeze..........he gave me courage to live and support in all my bad times......and suggest me to move out of this country.
Got opportunity to come to Australia for few months....and here i am having MY LIFE...but after few months when it will finish......don't know what would happen....
I know i am from Pakistan......but i don't belong to that country and people in there...i have got very good job, a big house from my father there but ......I just love my parents and youngest sisters......along with 2 friends....they are only assets i have got now......
(i HAVE HIDED MY IDENTITY HERE, BECAUSE FEAR OF BEING DISGRACED AND HUMILIATED IS STILL THERE) any decent person can contact me at fita.zair@yahoo.com
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awais (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay transgender bisexual readers on 15/09/2010 +15
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i am awais 21 years old from lahore,i wanna have a gay friend but due to moral restictions i can,t expose myself so help me to find a loving friend in lahore,,,my Email ID is awais.shah59@yahoo.com
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posted for readers in response to this story on 19/04/2010 +15
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this boys number is **.his name is Bilal Butt.His nick is mani shah.His email address is meowkarachian@yahoo.com ,he lives in gulistan e jauhar.its real necesity to end these activities.
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posted for readers in response to this story on 19/04/2010 +10
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he is a fraud.he is cheating people likwe this so he could gather money
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Mani Shah (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay readers on 25/03/2010 tagged with leadership, lgbti movement (community organizing +52
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Hello,
I am a homosexual .I and two of my friends have done a Gay Parade in Karachi,Pakistan, after that we have also given an interview to BBC regarding Gay rights in Pakistan, we have actively involved in activities and protests against the discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation but since the interview has been released on the BBC website we have been threatened by some agencies and extremists and our lives are at stake. we have also contacted the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan but they promptly refused to be any part of it. My question is, is there anyway your organization can help us or guide us in dealing this situation, kindly reply me as soon as possible we are in desperate need of help?

regards,
Mani Shah
meowkarachian@yahoo.com


The link to the video BBC has released is given below:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/urdu/pakistan/2009/11/091110_gays_karachi_zee.shtml

http://www.bbc.co.uk/urdu/multimedia/2009/11/091110_mm_karachi_gays.shtml
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