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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in PAKISTAN...
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Ashdude (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers on 06/08/2014 tagged with at the work place
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Hi I'm leaving in Pakistan and belongs to a skt Punjab I'm a girl but I don't know why I like girls I tried a lot to change myself but not succeeded I'm innocent person now my family force me for marriage but I can't get marry with a boy please help me... Any gay is in my condition whose family force him for marriage and he didn't wanna get marry with a girl please marry me because I don't like boys. Anyone here who belongs from good family????
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Ash (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers on 06/08/2014 tagged with at the work place
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Hi I'm leaving in Pakistan and belongs to a skt Punjab I'm a girl but I don't know why I like girls I tried a lot to change myself but not succeeded I'm innocent person now my family force me for marriage but I can't get marry with a boy please help me... Any gay is in my condition whose family force him for marriage and he didn't wanna get marry with a girl please marry me because I don't like boys. Anyone here who belongs from good family????
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Sagar (user currently living in ROMANIA) posted for gay lesbian bisexual straight readers on 16/06/2014 +5
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 Birth
I was born in Pakistan at in a small village.
I was born as normal girl with normal weight physically and healthy as my mother told me. I was very healthy fit and fat by birth. Than my family gave me a very beautiful name i.e. Aisha Sohail. When i grew up than my mother sent me in a school to learn basic things.
 Primary School
Many years ago there were only two specific schools in my village. One school was for girls and one for boys. Because in my culture we have two specific schools for specific sex. Girls go in a school of girls where female teachers teach girls. Boys go in boy school where male teachers teach boy.
As I was born as girl so my mother sent me to school for girls. The name of my school was Government Girls High School (G.G.H.S.K).
I was just 3 years old at that time when I started my first initial school. I was enjoying my childhood and was learning many new things with a lot of enjoyment.
I was reaching to higher class 1, 2, 3…. with passage of time. I was very glad when I got first position in whole school with very high score in class 5. I was just 9 year old at that time. My family was very delightful with my achievement.
 First Diagnose
At age of 9 year old i just feel little bit pain in my abdominal cavity. I told to my mother about this pain. But my mother just thought that maybe I eat some non hygienic food from outside. So mother was just relaxed and thought ok no matter.
But my pain was increasing day by day than my family took me to a doctor in my village. Doctor just saw and wrote some pain killer. Tablets made me relief for time being but not permanently.
One day pain was too much family was worry. Than my family decided to take me to a specialist doctor in kharian cant (Naseeb Shahid Hospital). Doctor checked me and scan my whole body and then doctor told that something is wrong. That is I am going to be a Boy for the rest of life. It was very interesting and amazing for me and for my family.
Than doctor told that don’t worry some times it’s happen. In fact it’s a kind of disease name is Ambiguous genitalia. An ambiguous genitalia is a birth defect where the outer genitals do not have the typical appearance of either a boy or a girl.
And on other family was wonder and amazed that after 10 years there girl is going to be a Son boy. As doctor told that diagnose is positive and need a treatment for the rest of life. From their my treatment began after first met with doctors. Doctor tried to understand me a lot of things but i was just not to understand all those things so. Doctor just did what medical should do at that time.


 First operation
I don’t know enough about medical but as I remember and doctor told me things that will occur with passage of time. It was a kind of disease with me in front of doctor but for me it was just end of life for that I knew with passage of time.
Doctor told me that I need an operation and a whole treatment for this disease. As roughly I remember they told me that I have a lot of chances of boy then a girl. Because operation was compulsory for to be a normal boy.
When they scan on me they noticed that I don’t have female Brest, ovary (More detail is in medical reports).
 My second life as Boy
“I was very happy my abdominal pain gone away from me but at that time I did not knew at that time what future is bringing a bundle of pain or a bundle of bright future and that will be with me whole life.”
One side me and my family was happy that diagnose is going to be treat. And now they have a son boy in family but……. “Who know what will happen with this boy tomorrow? ”
But at last after operation doctor said that now diagnose is going to be treat and we hope that one day this will be fully treat as normal. Now at least look like a boy and then they gave me boy name. My name was change from to a girl name to a boy name.

 Facts about in my Social Community
In my social community in my social cultural community” Boy has 10 times more respect and status than girl”. But not boy become like me because this statement was inverse on me. Diseased boy like me has 20 times down status. People look on boy like me with very poor dirt eye.
I was very happy my father, mother and brother we all was very happy but what about outside my home is they also very happy….? Is any outside will also take part in my happy life….? All questions like this answer is simple but complex and that is NO WAY.
Just imagine if a girl spend her life’s 10 year as girl and live with girls community and after 10 years suddenly she become a boy than is it not shock….? Off course yes .
“People notice what happened? How happened? Why happened? How a girl become a boy? Is He really a boy?
Boy like me can we make some fun with them? Can we use them illegally ?”
A lot of bull shit thinks people think about this kind of disease if we just imagine than we can just get all answers.



 My values in my social community
As we know that my diagnose is simple to understand for doctors, for me, for my family and for educated people but not for all illiterate and shity people.
In my family some far away relative knew very well to my family. If big interesting thing happen than we cannot hide this from them . It becomes a news headline in a community .
So a bundle of questions was ready………
10 years old girl converted to a boy after 10 years of birth as normal girl…… how?
She was not a girl or she was not a boy….. what was she or he?
Is he a boy now or not……?
Is he a boy now or some other kind of sex in a community…..?
Is he a girl now or shemale…..?
That was all question that I was answering to community that who am i….? and of course I also need to proof myself.
“But nature never change” if people is dirty or may be they do not want to accept me as reality than what I can do because it’s not 2, 3 or 4 people that know , it’s a lot a people who know boy like me. So I have no plan for this to change the mind of people or their think.
 Welcome in Boy life
All above stated questions I face from my early stage I was just 11,12 years old at that time I was not very old. People tease on me with a lot dirty threats I just amile and think that people are crazy why they ask such stupid questions.
But with passage of time I started to accept my reality and identity and I felt so sorrow on that and people`s thinks.
Socially and as well as politically community and people started to criticize, disparage and disapprove of to me in many ways. Because naturally when we become adult then we can see the different between good and bad. In childhood we cannot differentiate between right and wrong. When we grow up and going for to be adult then we can see our real value in a society or a community but unlucky everything was inverse on myself.
I cannot write my whole past life days one by one but in short I can just express my happenings feelings.
School
To go in school that was very big and complex challenged for me. every student in my school and every body in school tease on myself and talk on me very badly in fact I was become a psycho. Everybody gave me different dirty names and every day they call me from a new name.
Psychologically I was accepting the reality and asked the question to myself is it true what they said? Then I went every time to my doctor that what new issue I am facing. Because I knew that my doctor know everything about me he is trying to me to make me a normal .


But in fact doctor was also worried about my issues he just gave a strong hope that my boy be happy everything will be ok. But what else he can answers on my issue of course nothing else.
Doctor knew that he can just treat my diagnose my problem but doctor cannot change the minds of society the minds of community or thoughts of community or society that doctor cannot change.
Extra curricular
In extracurricular activities (Games cricket, cricket, football etc) some time I also wanted to play games cricket, football but question is who mean who is going to play? Of course I am but still my reality and identity is waiting to dirty my nature.
People eye just that I have different kind of sex not male not female. So people was just used to say only shit things that play other games with other kind of sex as this reply I heard always. Infact they give me a option that play other type of game with other kind of sex.
But how long I will be alone my mind reply just maybe forever? Will I be alone forever? I fear from people talk on myself in dirty manners.
People mind nobody can change it was a kind trend or mind or view of society I don’t know what was that.
Participations in ceremonies
Participations in ceremonies on different occasions was a straight attack on my dreams. Some I wanted to go on a ceremony to enjoy the happiness of other to participate in others time but when I saw on cultural then I just think that shit will be come on my face. Because I cannot hide my face not hide my identity these things just make me down to think.
My Personal life
If you have your values in life and have a real personality that you can enjoy the real life funs but in my case I have not enough dirty words that what was my personality from which society knows me.
If we see on all aspects than I also have spent my childhood. Although I have spent my childhood as a girl. In reality my personal life was completely in hell.
First friends were girls so they of course knew me by my name and data. And after sex change the girls they just think on me that I am middle sex man. So they just ignore me at some point they want to me that I should live their society.
Play with dolls in childhood was great fun but suddenly everything changed and I just change myself to fit myself in society but unlucky no chance .
Sometimes people just talk on me that why I have clothes of boys? Why I am hiding my really personality in the clothes of boy? And I reply them that because I am a boy and they just make a fun and give a name to me tha I am a half man like half boy half girl.
 My identity and history was my pain
My identity and my past was big pain in myself. And this pain even I cannot express to any other. When ever I talked to any girl from my childhood she just make fun of me and girl think that she should not even talk to boy like me.
Whenever I went to an educational institutions in homeland so problem was papers it was stated on papers sex change so first impression stated on me was that a different kind of sex is going to be study.
Date of birth was stated on every paper and from this everybody knows my history and my past and stand like a big challenge for me. So they just ignore to me existence in community.
Life was going on and day was coming and going things were happening. But my future dreams was just dream not going to be real.
Many time I just felt so down at home I was just use to watch Tv, internet but whenever I saw on media a lot reports on prostitutes, she male attack ,male prostitutes homosexual etc so I just feared from society that although I have some kind of disease with me but I just fear to go outside.
Homosexual, she male, male prostitutes that all exists in society. Nobody can change others minds,thoughts and trends. She male group also exists in society who just try to find the people like them. They just search people like them and try to force and encourage them that live life like them. I fear from all these when I see on media.
Reality that i faced

In simple words if i express about reality and truth that i faced in my life. then i can easily say that i face two different realities of a social society in two different culture.

One reality was a group of homogenous people whose main aim was just to encourage and force me and just to see me with an eye that to join the bad society of protitues for male.
In any way they were not going to leave me on my on life at the way that i want i should have my on self respect.so my heart was not going in any way to accept the shit of homogeneous group.

Second reality was my parents who can just clearly feel my heart pain. Every parents wish that their children become a good and successful citizen. Every parents want their children bright future. same nature my parents had.

So parents can understood me in better way that their son has his on future aims. Their son also want to make his birght future insted of to accept a name of prostitution in society.

So parents just said to me that " Son if you really want to make your dreams true in your own way than just go out far away from this community and society". Forget this society,culture,community and your past and think about your bright way.

" just imagin if one wrong thing happened one day than at next day you cannot fix that thing to fix the wrong one life always goes on".

Society has known you and next you can not change them. So i just decieded to go out from their and i was happy that my future is going to bright and oneday i will get off rid from this shity society. So i was very good in computer field i just decieded to be in field in future in computer.

Conclusion

Life's ups and downs that i cannot express in words some beautiful and great time that i would like to express.

In my point of view My past 10 years life was equal to 100 years of pain in life but my 3 years of life in europe was equal to 30 years of sucessful life with a specific self respect in my own views.


" Nobody tease on me that hej boy wear your on clothes of girl or play with your own kind of sex."
Although at some point i felt down and i was miss out from collage because problem was at some point i got some stress and some depression due to my disease and i did not want to tell in my collage that i have some problem in my life.

But on other hand i was really happy with my life i got the actual rights of a human like i treated human. I got job here was my first independent life. I proved my self as a self man with my own respect without any shity and bad society.

I took part in activties in collage in society i played a lot football. i meet with girls chit chat and boys and also participate in their life activties like a human.

In simple words i took my first independent breath with my rights as a human in Denmark with a self respect.

At Last

I treid my best to express my history as much i have skills in english. But some things and words like F i dont want to write here for a respect as i now have here.

But i hope that my words will be not take in bad manners. At last i will just say that i still has problem disease although i have tried love with a girl in fact at some point i admit that i need to be treat for my normal life. So we can understand the point of view that what i girl want i cannot give to her ( refer to mediacl Reports) . I believe that every disease can be treat and oneday my disease will alos be treat and i will spend my normal life with my own right as to be a Human.

Thanks Have a nice day.
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Aileen (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers on 12/04/2014 tagged with lgbt families +15
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Salam frnds i m aileen from karachi,, my problem is ha i m inrested in girls.. and belong to religios family.. me ek larki se bohat yar karti hun aur wo b, meri family mje shadi k liye force kr rahi hai.. me kisi b soorat kisi boy se shadi nhi kar sakti.plz helpp me and give me suggessions
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aileen (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 11/04/2014 tagged with human rights
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hi who are u
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Aileen (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 16/12/2013 tagged with lgbt families, human rights +10
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sorry my email is fatimakhan535@hotmail.com
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Aileen (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian readers on 10/12/2013 tagged with sexual orientation, religion +9
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SALAM EVERY ONE.. i m girl. i m intrested in girls. i blong to a religious family who will not accept my sexuality.... they presurize me to get marry with man,, it is imposible for me because in not intrested in boys.and i love a girl she loves me too.we are happy and spend whole life with each other. and i cant ruin a life of boy.. so plzzz help me .. if any gay has same problem so tell me we can help each other.. its urgent.i m so mch worried. plzzz mail me at faimakhan535@hotmail.com
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suchacow (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 12/10/2013 +5
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decentlyqueer..... you might find it a bit stalkerish but i ended up at this forum cuz of you. I'm a lesbian too from karachi. And I'd love to talk to you.

contact me at such.4.cow@gmail.com
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lgbt Pakistan (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 28/08/2013
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LGBT PAKISTAN

wanted LGBT activist , Inserted Person contact : lgbt.pk@gmail.com
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 28/08/2013 +4
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There is introduction in the world that pakistan is pure islamic country, few days ago american embassy manage a program GLBT rights, in this us embassy programe reactoin whole over the pakistan public contest the protest on the roads, in f...ront of us embassy etc, The protestor were saying that its against the preaches of islam , its against our culture, we reject this amecican culture etc, stop these actvities in holy pakistan etc. being a pakistani ,



i am saying that near about 40 percent public of pakistan is gay , lesbian , homosexual, hetrosexual , bisexual , transgender etc, In punjab come to Deraghazi khan , Taunsa sharif , MUZAFAR GARH , MULTAN , DERA ISMAIL KHAN , MIAN WALI , BHAKAR , JHANG , LAHORE , RAJAN PUR ETC IN balochistan RAKHNI , BARKHAN , LORA LAI, TRIBAL AREA ETC IN SINDH , WHOLE ENTERIER SINDH , SKHAR , LARKANA , KANDHKOT , KARACHI ETC IN KPK , PESHAWER AND OTHER DIFRENT CITIES OF KPK ,



come and see what is hapning, IN these cities i have seen that people are homasexual , bisexual , and transgendr



1# There are many people who have boyfriends , to whom they give motor cycle , clothes , shoes and money to walk and spend the time for their hapiness, people are in competion with each other that whose boyfriend is beautiful, they showes their boyfriend in public place , hotles, cultural shows and other programe ,



2# our local poet and singers are very famous due to sing the poetry relted with same sex,



3# people enjoy when a singer will sing about same sex poetry , there will be much crowed of people in these function,



4# drivers of bus , truck , van , and public transport have a boy who is known as cleaner , parhaps the boy is his boyfriend and he use him for his homosexuality nature,



5# There is fashion to have a beautiful boyfriend,



6# If you will visit at night time at bus stand , railway station , and parks , there wil be many people searching the boys for sexual relation,



7# you can emagine through internt servay that the websight containning sex meterial are opend in PAKISTAN from whole the world , PAKISTAN is no# 1 to open the sex meterial websight.



8# there are many cases daily that raped a boy in etc city,



9# IN these cities many young boys who wear ladies clothes and searching a man for fucking , they went in cultural program and dance , people of pakistan , muslims be happy and shower money at them, you can see them on road side railway station , bus stand searching for homosexual.



10# IS this not hapening in pakistan ? Now turning point when a case will hapen of same sexuality etc the whole comunity will stand and wil protest against the issu , they will kill the issuing person, burn his house etc in protest or killing or burning his house the persons will be in front , will leading the protest , who last night were searching a boy , same sex for fucking or sexual relation.



They say that this is against the preaching of islam , against our culture , American embassy manage a programe against islam against our culture its american culture.



They are blind that what is hapening in our cities , they dont know the culture of their borned cities , or only against america , they have goggles at their face such goggle that mention them that last night they have sex with boy and today he have sex with boy, last night they have not act against islam, today he has act against preaches of islam, so he shold be burned or killed. they will burn or kill him who have sex last night with a boy.



so its my observation as being a pakistani , being a part of this comunity that



11# There is nobody muslim in pakistan and everybody is a big muslim in pakistan

I do not know writing after this i will be alive or dead , through religiuos extrimists ( our comunity) , or or..................,i will prove it and much more, if i will secure i will provide my data



https://www.facebook.com/pages/LGBT-Pakistan
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abc (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 26/08/2013 tagged with illegality of male to male relationships +9
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i am a gay and i think pakistni govt should make a law for gay, lesbian marriage
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Sultan (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender intersex straight readers in response to this story on 15/08/2013
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i am working on Sexual health of youth including gay, lesbian , trans gender etc, please contact me . i am interested to outreach these groups. you can contact me at 0344 5053818 islamabad
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decentlyqueer posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 21/06/2013 +10
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its very commendable of you and a very lovely step. I honestly applaud for you stand up for such rights. I was also wondering if you know any place to find decent lesbians within karachi?

regards
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Ali (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex readers in response to this story on 06/06/2013 +9
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Where are u from ?
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers in response to this story on 08/01/2013 +24
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to all LGBT friends plz contact me as i will help you out.
regards,

seema khan
karachi
seemakhan1978@hotmail.com
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shah (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 16/07/2012 +30
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hi..how are you.iam a gay from pakistan age 22..at the age of 16 i know that iam a gay.i did,nt tell anyone about that iam gay.because it very hard in pakistan that people accept any one as gay.and could case life prision or death if any body know about you .and its hard to find any relationship.i live as single and its too hard for me live in pakistan as gay.please any one give me response hos i managed my self as gay. my email idd is handsum_boy20@yahoo.com
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Andre (user currently living in NIGERIA) posted for gay lesbian readers in response to this story on 27/03/2012 +15
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am Andre from nigeria west africa i am new to this gay thing and i ve not done it before so i need you to teach me and show me ..my email is andrewunabor@yahoo.com..+2348094689531 is my cell phone number call me if you wish..you can have sex to me so i don't know what is called if am a gay or bissexual or lesbian
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(user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian readers on 25/03/2012 tagged with marriage / civil unions +15
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A good friend of mine has just returned to PK from the UK to a family desperate to get him married off howEVER he's gay of course.
Does anyone know of any way to reach (preferably well-educated) lesbians in PK who might be interested in a marriage of 'convenience' ??
James - UK
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Being a homosexual in Pakistan means being a criminal, a person who is in complete violation of laws and culture. Gay people get killed just by being gay, our friends abandon us, families disown us, all because we choose to like a certain person. People wouldn't even talk about this topic. This is how bad we are considered in our own country. I wish i could have a way to change this. I wish i could give people hope and freedom. I wish i could save people from hiding their identities and their love for someone. The situation in Pakistan is especially sad because of the religious extremism. Islam is a beautiful religion and people are corrupting it by saying it forbids homosexuality. There is no such thing like that and i want people to know. We need a change and its time we started working on it.
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make history (user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual intersex straight readers on 27/09/2011 +10
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hello , i am bisexual from pakistan , i want to work for LGBT rights in pakistan , plz support
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(user currently living in PAKISTAN) posted for lesbian readers on 21/04/2011 +12
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The situation of Les women are so worst, exhausting and disappointing of relations in our country. I met with one couple because we are working on sexual oriented communities at local level in our city ( because of danger I don't mention the names or place )I tried to help them one name is A and other C , A fell in love with C and C 's parents forcibly contracted marriage papers and gave her all sorts of torture for Rukhsatti ( force her to live with him )she refused on some points, while the A contacted with me to sort out some ways to help them and I was help them in different ways and finally after a lot mental and psychical torture from their families, they settle down for some points and secretly meet each other how I advised them because they need shelter and place if they want to meet each other or spent some time together then their life remain safe and secure. This is story actually i wanted to share maybe after this if other women want to contact to share their problems and we try to help them provide counselling them to agree on some certain points that their life remain secure and safe.
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