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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

Share your experiences in INDONESIA - Let others know what it’s like to be LGBTI in your country! If an experience is meaningful for you, it will probably be meaningful for someone else. On whatever topic, whether good or bad, your story is how the world knows about your country and LGBTI life. By selecting tags that mark the topic your story, others can learn from your experience.
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in INDONESIA...
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E.R. NASUTION (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 06/02/2011 tagged with sexual orientation +20

Last Friday, on the 4th of February 2011, I had a chance to watch a talk show which is almost famous in this country. It is under title “K!ckAndy”, where the beholder of this talk show named Andy Flores, with his surname Noya. The main topic of that day is “Ancaman Seks Bebas di Kalangan Remaja” (pronounced in Bahasa, our mother language), or may be proper to translate it in English to “Youth Free Sex Threat”.
In the relay of the talk show, there were three invitees that are willing to give their testimony about their sexual behavior and even their sexual orientation. There is one guy, which is the second interviewee, named Justin, with his profession as a gigolo who serves both sexes in bed, is interviewed also. He has been interviewed by Mr. Noya, from his sexual orientation to his usual clients. Personally, it is not a problem to expose things which are really happens in the respondent’s life. Hence, this guy is wearing a mask which is absolutely looks like the mask that I saw in a gay porn film – made in Italy.
Anyway, at the end of the interview, Mr. Andy F. Noya has pronounced that – which is based on my memory - that “Eventhough Justin has been working as a gigolo, he tries to have a normal life. He will try to avoid the deviant behavior (translated from his word in Bahasa: perilaku menyimpang) someday”.
I was absolutely astonished when he said it out loud that being able to sleep with a guy and, at the same time with a girl, is a deviant behavior. Probably you may say that the wording”deviant behavior” is concerned with the profession of Justin. But wait until you read my following narration below, coming from the third respondent.
The final respondent is a former well-known celebrity in Indonesia, because he had several roles in several sinetron (a type of Spanish telenovela, where all creatures in it have to be flawless drop dead gorgeous). His name is Mr. Jupiter. The latter has made his conviction of being gay in public since 2000 and converted, according to his testimony – no one knows if he really means it or not - to become “normal” since 2005. His conviction delivers my memory to Evangelical Christians who invented ex-gay ministries in USA who brings LGBT to their natural destiny as heterosexuals.
After collecting the answers from Jupiter, Mr. Andi F. Noya has re-pronounced again the word : “deviant behavior”, when he arrived to a question asking about how come Jupiter came up with this sexual orientation. According to the conviction of Jupiter, he is being gay because he had a sexual harassment while he was a kid, executed by one of his mother’s home male maid. For your further information, Jupiter has explained and admitted that he is no longer being gay since God is with him, since when he was looking for God, he understood that all that he has done before, being gay, consuming drugs, etc, are sins. And he has forgiven his father because he was not there when Mr. little Jupiter needed him – thanks for blaming the role of his father.
I do not want to contest the intelligence of the Indonesian celebrities, in which Jupiter belongs to, in how they give their shallow opinion – thanks to the rare time to read and prefer to powder their noses and be updated with what to wear and what is cool and not cool.
On the other hand, I want to explore the opinions coming from an invited psychologist in this talkshow. Her name is Mrs. Elly Risman. She has explained, with full emotion – probably because she is an Asian mother and neglecting the fact that she is invited as an expert from the Indonesian National Commission of Children’s Protection (pronounced in Bahasa as Komisi Nasional Perlindungan Anak) – about why does this happen to the Indonesian youth generation. After presenting her team’s survey which showed that 67 percent of boys and girls in Primary High School have been watching porn movies, along with other percentage showing the undisciplined children towards sex and commenting that the sexual unlimited exploration behavior from our earlier Justin, which makes Justin being gigolo and at the same time able to give sex pleasure to the his male and female counterparts, have to be interpreted not just as news (in bahasa : berita). She contends to further enlarge this as a threat to the national security of Indonesia. And I would like to stress here, she meant it seriously!!!!
Furthermore, she specified that : first of all, Indonesian children are becoming like this (by showing her right hand to our beloved invited Mr. Jupiter – which is a sort of underestimate gesture to me) because the role of the parents were gone when the children really required their parents. A father can’t be attached emotionally to his son or his daughter because he is too busy outside the house. Meanwhile, nowadays, mothers are also busy to find jobs and do their tasks. Consequently, children are being given custody under sub-contract rights to their teachers, and their maids at home. Secondly, she also gave her lecturer that since the technology is already widespread; children may have access easily to see the pornographic content. Parents will give this technology with no difficulties; usually under form of mobile phone, and personal computer with internet connection, since they only see the advantage of having one. Finally, she gave her comments by saying that the only method to remedy this is by religion. Because by giving the religion enlightment, children may have guidance along with the present of their parents.
I would like to reserve one paragraph of my story to say what I think about this. First of all, being aired nationally in Indonesia, means that you have to deliver a good message and, mainly, reinforce a good quality of education to the viewers. However, we may be in full doubt about what does it mean to be educated since most of this country’s citizens, within the 33 provinces of Indonesia, are not passing their Senior High School. So, it is going to be very extremely difficult to educate. Secondly, I would like to evoke “deviant behavior” coming out from the mouth of Mr. Andy F. Noya is inappropriate since he has 15 experiences in journalistic and is able to lead several talk shows for 5 years in Metro TV in Indonesia, one of the prestigious news television channel in Indonesia, for the same talk show. Deviant is defined as abnormal which renders to marginalization of existence in the societies to me. For me, being a host, mainly with a several years in media industry as his background, need to be clever and intelligent in showing the words that reflect the intention, without any interest to readdress the bad side of being something – in this case : being gay. This is shown in one of his word toward Mr. Jupiter. Thirdly, I am really concerned with the quality of human resources in Indonesia. This is because Mrs. Elly Risman, viewed in public as female psychologist expert from a government institution to protect Indonesian children’s right, had no intention to state in her opinions that sex education is a major requirement in the country, which is associated to be a part of the curriculum starting from the Primary School. I remember seeing one of the billboards of Indonesia’s Family Planning Program in which written: Indonesia will suffer the population explosion – and this billboard that I have seen, is placed just on the gateway to the traditional market near my residence.
In the same point, I would like to decline the need of religion that has to be implanted in the mind of the youth. It is about how Indonesian people need to be educated in order to functionning their logical mind in distinguishing the benefits and the risks of any executed actions of what they will be. It is all about rationality I believe. If she is able to say that we have disparities of chances between our children and they, as parents, I think she is right. But, the most important in this country, for those who are elders in Indonesia, to reconsider that the transformation of mind set about sex education is required to bear in school for children in their earlier school year. This shall be made in an educational institution and formulated professionally in the education curriculum. Finally, this is for Mr. Andi F. Noya. Have you ever been, at any chance, felt how does it called to have “a deviant behavior” ? If kindness, along with the revelation of facts, and if you intend to, deliver some progress of human intelligence in Indonesia, haven’t you thought about these intelligent “deviant behavior” may feel insulted as your wording choice of “deviant behavior “? We feel in rationality. Every words concerned for us, just like you concern about the blog writing which reporting the expulsion of one of the Mrs. Elly Risman’s guests.
As a holder of national identity card of Indonesia, I feel that being gay in this country will not yet have any recognition from the society. Since, we, are still marginalized. If only I had a chance in the near future to see, that people in Indonesia reveals the truth of logic.
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(user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 04/01/2010 +20
Attitude towards LGBT is highly divided, but mostly not hostile. In the world's most populous Muslim nation, LGBT people mostly received their harassment from the government, police officers, and a small number of religious extremists. But in majority, they don't have any opinion about it. Because sex, including sexuality, is a taboo subject to discuss.

However, propaganda about the stereotype of LGBT are also broadly broadcasted by mainstream media. Not that they are homophobic media. Because in my opinion, they are just trying to sell stories by packaging all kinds of criminal activities done by LGBT to be, a 'gay' attitude.

Not everybody believed in the propaganda. And those who believed in it, believed in the basis that they doesn't know anything about LGBT. Their only source of information of LGBT are only through movies and news, which all shows a strong stereotype so that it would sell.

All my friends surprised when I told them I was gay. They thought gay people are the same as transexual, that they are camp, loves fashion, and incredibly feminine. I wasn't any of those stereotypes. I was a normal person, just the same among them. And they always understand after I explained further. I never lost any friend from being gay. Some may be awkward, but I never get any discrimination.

Discrimination by the basis of sexual orientation are mostly made by government officials and private person WITHOUT any kinds formal basis. Just some governor or mayor who made orders, or a boss of an office who is homophobic. By default, Indonesian laws are not homophobic. We don't have sodomy laws, and we don't have homosexuals law. All kinds of discrimination are strongly discouraged here. In some cases, that includes sexual orientation (Although it wasn't formally written).

Except for marriages. Since Indonesian laws have two kinds of different law: Civil and Religious. And they both being used at the same time. And since religion says that two men and women can't get married, that means Indonesian LGBT can't get married as well. However, unlike many western states, the usage of marriage in Indonesia is mostly of religious use, instead of civil one. And since LGBT people are mostly not religious here, gay marriage is not something to be strife to achieved.

Adoption laws doesn't say anything about homosexuals. They talk about marriages and individuals. Sexual orientation is never mentioned in it.

According to my opinion, LGBT people itself, are the one that making things bad. They believed that they ARE what they are being stereotyped about. They are known to be shallow, apathetic, pessimistic, cheater, and even think that they are sinners. Because they grew up without discussing such topics, and the only informations about LGBT they received is that that they are a terrible person. And therefore, they became those kinds of people. Only a handful of people who are objective and aren't playing the stereotype role.

There are even LGBT people who thinks that they are the same as incest and pedophiles!

There are only a few of LGBT online forum in Indonesia, and most is filled with pictures of naked men, genitals, stories about raping, and even adults who seek for teenagers.

The higher income people are much more accepting of LGBT. They understand about it, even the most religious ones. The lower income people, mostly doesn't have knowledge about it. Some areas have reported that they have lesbians or gay people in their neighborhood. And they claim that those people are unharmed. In here, people believed that as long as you serve the community correctly without hurting other people, they will always be accepted.

the middle income population, however, are the most vocal about this issue. As my friend say, they think they are of higher status that those who are poor, but in fact, they are much dumber than either the rich and the poor combined.
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Sonia (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for straight readers on 25/03/2010 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention +15
I'm *****, 14, straight. I'm not lesbian, but I do love Gay relationship. Are you confused? I mean i'm Fujoshi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaoi_fandom#Fujoshi) and I met so many girls like me here. In Indonesia, Homonism is completly taboo. I hate it, but I can't do much here. And... I hid my hobbies from my parents, or otherwise, They'll burn me alive

Mostly of Indonesian are moslem (I'm too)-the religi that forbid biseksual relationship. So... if you're gay or lesbian, hide it and I think you'd better not show it to a common people, except you really know that person will accept it fully.

Don't ever sad, I (and all Fujoshi) won't ever excommunicate you all... We'll always support you! >w
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litte lezmiyabi (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for lesbian readers on 07/01/2012 tagged with adoption +10
saya pernah ml dg les, dan saya merasakan kepuasan? dan saat ini saya benar2 menginginkan pasangan lesby untuk kepuasan sexual.
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so far, my experience as a gay, which can also be spelled transsex in Indonesia, still free, still a lot of pressure that I've got. I wish I could join you all to be able to fight for gay equality. thanks.
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little lezmiyabi (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 07/01/2012 tagged with sexual orientation +5
pertama kali aku melakukan ml dg lesbian, dg cara membeli seorang bisex seharga Rp. 500.000. hanya untuk bisa merasakan bagaimana sensasi sex dari lesby, tp aku gak memperoleh kepuasan dari dia? mungkin karena dia kurang buas menurutku. aku butuh seorang lesby yg benar2 buas yg bs memuaskanku... tapi aku menginginkanya tanpa aku harus membelinya?? 087775555073
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Different in taste (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 08/05/2011 tagged with human rights, sexual orientation +5
In Indonesia words LGBT is something taboo to be discussed either in private such as family or in public such as mass media, everybody is pretending not to talk about LGBT and avoiding anything related to LGBT terms, that's why most LGBT in my nation are put in silence, they pretend to be straight by marrying their opposite sex, and bury their love.

I'm openly gay, something that most LGBT dont here. because they are afraid of punishment from family and society, but I'm different because I think coming out is the best way I have to be done because I do not wanna bury myself into silence

now i'm starting encourage my LGBT friends to accept who they are by sending article to mass media and creating blog and tell them being gay doesn't mean we have to be loser :)we are the same like straights, a thing that makes us different from them is juts our taste....yes we are just different in taste ^^

I think i just started my long journey to voice gay voices :D
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posted for readers on 10/04/2011 +5
So here I'm tell you the happening now here in Seminyak Bali.

Ladyboy here threaten just like rubish n animal >.<, humiliated, punched, Fined, bolded n forced to be a Man by PECALANG ( village Security). I want to protest to who? even police don't care about what happening in front of them.

So naif what PECALANG do while there is a LGBT BAR / CLUB which is donate tax to the village much.... but they haunt the ladyboy just like animaL. Event goverment can't help us here, any solutions?
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Pearl (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 20/01/2010 tagged with hiv/aids +5
I recently sero converted and am now hiv+. I'm in my late 40's and after being vigilantly hiv- am so dissappointed with myself. How did this happen? Hubris? bug chasing? unfortunately, i think i got it from a 20 yr old guy i had been dating and i knew in jan 09' i tested negative, so iwas topping him, taking a 'calculated' risk. seeing each other 2-3 x per week. I also ran out of my regular lubricant 'ero's' and started using Virgin coconut oil which irritated my urethra.(any probably his ass). I tested hiv positive dec 09'. i just pray i didn't and don't infect anyone else. i had to do partner notification with this beautiful 20 yr old young man. it was very difficult. A real game changer.
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chiel (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 12/06/2012 +0
I just got so sick it was paying up. I liked the male since childhood. It is not easy to show who I am, but the State of my femininity so visible.I feel the discrimination by my family and friends here and I have trouble getting a job. I am trying to work yesterday with my Auntie, but after labor, money, and time I drained when money can be big enough for me, I am in the exhaust. This incident is very painful for me, I want to die it felt. I am sick, I get no support here. Should I tithe to my parents and pay the Bills. This is so bad for me. But I want to get up, I hope if there is a job could let me know.
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Aidil Rizali (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for straight readers on 14/01/2011 +0

I'm not gay nor have any gay friends or family members (not yet anyway), but I strongly support the equality of the LGBT just like heterosexual people.
Sadly in this country, persecution of openly LGBT people is an ongoing issue. Like yesterday the so-called Islam Defenders Front (FPI) halt a conference of LGBT in Surabaya. This is only one of dozens of similar or even more severe instances.
I'm not so sure when LGBT will receive the recognition they have achieved in some countries like Spain and Canada. Hopefully soon.
Aidil Rizali
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yans (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for straight readers on 02/10/2012 +0
dimana saya bisa ketemu dan berbicara dengan ketua komunitas lesby,satu tujuan kami hanya ingin mengajak kerja sama dengan memberi hall / club u jd tempat party dan berkumpulnya mereka.
yang berminat dan mengetahui kontak please send email to
dian.kahaevent@gmail.com cc to diansiswa@ymail.com
txs u
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