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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in INDONESIA...
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hey guys... I just wanna meet some other girl who is just the same like me.... lesbian.... I need friends:) u can follow my twitter first and mention me for follow back to (@Yeah_Me1), then I'll give you my contact:) by the way I'm sixteen y.o and goin on my sweet seventeen this october:) am about 5'5 tall and about 143 lbs^^
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Under the Representations of Gender Believe System

Wisnu Adihartono Reksodirdjo is a PhD Candidate in sociology in Ecole des Hautes Etudes en Sciences Sociales (EHESS) – Marseille, France.

I have much of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) friends in Indonesia, particularly in Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, the city where I live. One day, one of my best friends in Senior High School came to Jakarta from Toronto (Canada). He asked me to have a coffee. I wondered since long time ago that he is gay, but since he did not tell me about his sexual orientation, I do not want to ask him first because I think that is not my business. When we were in school, I did not catch that he is gay because he acts like a macho man. He is handsome, gorgeous, chique and à la mode. He was such an idol. Since I heard from his classmate that he had a girlfriend, I assume that he is not gay.

The day that we met, we talked and shared about our lives, including our love lives. And finally he confessed that he is gay. He asked me why I did not shock. I told him that I already guessed his sexual orientation since we were in high school. He told me that he stays now in Toronto with his Canadian business men. They met in Bandung when my friend took his study in one of the best universities in Bandung. I asked him accidentally why he chosen Canada as his country of destination instead of Indonesia. He laughed and he said that is a moron question. I know that this type of question makes him laughed. He explained that it is very impossible to be gay in Indonesia. He added that when he comes out, State, society, and religion will totally reject his sexual orientation. Those three “things” automatically blocked the existence of LGBT peoples. They cannot express themselves and they do not have any access to fight their freedom. They will be stigmatized by society as a sick person. That is why he decided to move to other country to seek a freedom.

How the State and society create the system of differentiation between heterosexual peoples and homosexual peoples when in fact, in my opinion, we have avoided this. In a society, the creation of that system is made by the concept of social imagination, social representation, and gender belief system.

In a simple phrase, social representation by French social psychologist, Serge Moscovici is basically conceptualized as a concept to merge ideas and values in one package within society in sharing the experiences with the tool of social imagination.
Social imagination has a strong relation with how we set our mind. When we imagine something or someone, we use, indeed, our mind to produce and reproduce the beliefs, the “good”, the “bad”, and the “sinner”? In general, social imagination made us imagine what is “good” and what is “bad”. He can intervene in our everyday lives with their power of perception to make any opposition, for example to legitimate/to illegitimate, to justify/to accuse, to convince/to discriminate, to include/to exclude, etc.

Marked by a perception, social representations grow out of the discussions people pursue in making sense of their social lives.

This is what happened in Indonesia to address the issue of homosexuality. Social representations build a border between heterosexuals and homosexuals with a rigid system called gender belief system.

Basically, the gender system consists of an institutionalized set of social practices, used to distinguish between men and women, but also in the end, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT). This system used to organize the social relations on the basis of apparent difference and inequality. In other words, the gender system made a stereotype between human being. Derived from the idea of difference, it is clear that the gender system used the hegemony system as the ruling ideology.

The emergence of gender system through interaction between peoples creates a belief in defining gender. So, we can make an interpretation that in gender belief system, peoples must accept stereotypes as descriptive of most others and use those stereotypes to form performance expectations.

The homosexuality in Southeast Asia, in particular, develops within the framework of the concept described above, because for most of Southeast Asian peoples, sex categorization is automatic, fast, and unconscious where they cannot relate to another without first sex categorizing. As a PhD student in sociology from one of the countries in Southeast Asia, a change within our current gender system is difficult and very slow, but I believe it is not impossible.
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Hi, my name is adi(not my real name) and i'm from indonesia.(sorry if my english sounds weird and bad grammar) Well this is my life story.
i live in a democratic country, indonesia. most of foreign people said that indonesia is a friendly gay country, but that's not true, i know there is no laws against gay in here but we have community law which our society looks don't care about gay people in indonesia but they keep away from gays and talking quietly behind, they think that gay is disease and disgusting, even worse.

how can i became gay?? it's all about my past, when i was kid, about 5 years old, a man who i think i can trust abuse me sexually, i don't know that's a wrong thing to do because i was just a kid( but i still remember about the incident, when he locked me in a room in the kindergarten school, and he did that. and when i was 12, my older cousin rape me, he threatened me, my heart can still feel the pain. i never tell anyone about this humiliating secret.

i live in a muslim conservative family, i never told anyone about my sexual orientation especially my father, if he knew about it, he wouldn't hesitate to kill me because being gay is the worst thing, so sinful, so it's obligatory to kill gay people like me. feel sad, but there's nothing i can do.

I will never be able to feel love and be loved. many people think that gay just need penis,sex. but we should deserve love too, if i have a choice: i can love and have him, but we both must cut off our penis, then i'll choose it, love is blind, but sex isn't.

i've last thing to do in my life, i will coming out to my family, i don't care if they hate me or want to kill me, though after it i'll end my life
because i can't live without love, "pefedict?" yes, but you don't know what pain i have, all this time.
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little lezmiyabi (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for lesbian readers in response to this story on 07/01/2012 tagged with sexual orientation +5
pertama kali aku melakukan ml dg lesbian, dg cara membeli seorang bisex seharga Rp. 500.000. hanya untuk bisa merasakan bagaimana sensasi sex dari lesby, tp aku gak memperoleh kepuasan dari dia? mungkin karena dia kurang buas menurutku. aku butuh seorang lesby yg benar2 buas yg bs memuaskanku... tapi aku menginginkanya tanpa aku harus membelinya?? 087775555073
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Different in taste (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 08/05/2011 tagged with human rights, sexual orientation +5
In Indonesia words LGBT is something taboo to be discussed either in private such as family or in public such as mass media, everybody is pretending not to talk about LGBT and avoiding anything related to LGBT terms, that's why most LGBT in my nation are put in silence, they pretend to be straight by marrying their opposite sex, and bury their love.

I'm openly gay, something that most LGBT dont here. because they are afraid of punishment from family and society, but I'm different because I think coming out is the best way I have to be done because I do not wanna bury myself into silence

now i'm starting encourage my LGBT friends to accept who they are by sending article to mass media and creating blog and tell them being gay doesn't mean we have to be loser :)we are the same like straights, a thing that makes us different from them is juts our taste....yes we are just different in taste ^^

I think i just started my long journey to voice gay voices :D
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E.R. NASUTION (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for gay readers on 06/02/2011 tagged with sexual orientation +20

Last Friday, on the 4th of February 2011, I had a chance to watch a talk show which is almost famous in this country. It is under title “K!ckAndy”, where the beholder of this talk show named Andy Flores, with his surname Noya. The main topic of that day is “Ancaman Seks Bebas di Kalangan Remaja” (pronounced in Bahasa, our mother language), or may be proper to translate it in English to “Youth Free Sex Threat”.
In the relay of the talk show, there were three invitees that are willing to give their testimony about their sexual behavior and even their sexual orientation. There is one guy, which is the second interviewee, named Justin, with his profession as a gigolo who serves both sexes in bed, is interviewed also. He has been interviewed by Mr. Noya, from his sexual orientation to his usual clients. Personally, it is not a problem to expose things which are really happens in the respondent’s life. Hence, this guy is wearing a mask which is absolutely looks like the mask that I saw in a gay porn film – made in Italy.
Anyway, at the end of the interview, Mr. Andy F. Noya has pronounced that – which is based on my memory - that “Eventhough Justin has been working as a gigolo, he tries to have a normal life. He will try to avoid the deviant behavior (translated from his word in Bahasa: perilaku menyimpang) someday”.
I was absolutely astonished when he said it out loud that being able to sleep with a guy and, at the same time with a girl, is a deviant behavior. Probably you may say that the wording”deviant behavior” is concerned with the profession of Justin. But wait until you read my following narration below, coming from the third respondent.
The final respondent is a former well-known celebrity in Indonesia, because he had several roles in several sinetron (a type of Spanish telenovela, where all creatures in it have to be flawless drop dead gorgeous). His name is Mr. Jupiter. The latter has made his conviction of being gay in public since 2000 and converted, according to his testimony – no one knows if he really means it or not - to become “normal” since 2005. His conviction delivers my memory to Evangelical Christians who invented ex-gay ministries in USA who brings LGBT to their natural destiny as heterosexuals.
After collecting the answers from Jupiter, Mr. Andi F. Noya has re-pronounced again the word : “deviant behavior”, when he arrived to a question asking about how come Jupiter came up with this sexual orientation. According to the conviction of Jupiter, he is being gay because he had a sexual harassment while he was a kid, executed by one of his mother’s home male maid. For your further information, Jupiter has explained and admitted that he is no longer being gay since God is with him, since when he was looking for God, he understood that all that he has done before, being gay, consuming drugs, etc, are sins. And he has forgiven his father because he was not there when Mr. little Jupiter needed him – thanks for blaming the role of his father.
I do not want to contest the intelligence of the Indonesian celebrities, in which Jupiter belongs to, in how they give their shallow opinion – thanks to the rare time to read and prefer to powder their noses and be updated with what to wear and what is cool and not cool.
On the other hand, I want to explore the opinions coming from an invited psychologist in this talkshow. Her name is Mrs. Elly Risman. She has explained, with full emotion – probably because she is an Asian mother and neglecting the fact that she is invited as an expert from the Indonesian National Commission of Children’s Protection (pronounced in Bahasa as Komisi Nasional Perlindungan Anak) – about why does this happen to the Indonesian youth generation. After presenting her team’s survey which showed that 67 percent of boys and girls in Primary High School have been watching porn movies, along with other percentage showing the undisciplined children towards sex and commenting that the sexual unlimited exploration behavior from our earlier Justin, which makes Justin being gigolo and at the same time able to give sex pleasure to the his male and female counterparts, have to be interpreted not just as news (in bahasa : berita). She contends to further enlarge this as a threat to the national security of Indonesia. And I would like to stress here, she meant it seriously!!!!
Furthermore, she specified that : first of all, Indonesian children are becoming like this (by showing her right hand to our beloved invited Mr. Jupiter – which is a sort of underestimate gesture to me) because the role of the parents were gone when the children really required their parents. A father can’t be attached emotionally to his son or his daughter because he is too busy outside the house. Meanwhile, nowadays, mothers are also busy to find jobs and do their tasks. Consequently, children are being given custody under sub-contract rights to their teachers, and their maids at home. Secondly, she also gave her lecturer that since the technology is already widespread; children may have access easily to see the pornographic content. Parents will give this technology with no difficulties; usually under form of mobile phone, and personal computer with internet connection, since they only see the advantage of having one. Finally, she gave her comments by saying that the only method to remedy this is by religion. Because by giving the religion enlightment, children may have guidance along with the present of their parents.
I would like to reserve one paragraph of my story to say what I think about this. First of all, being aired nationally in Indonesia, means that you have to deliver a good message and, mainly, reinforce a good quality of education to the viewers. However, we may be in full doubt about what does it mean to be educated since most of this country’s citizens, within the 33 provinces of Indonesia, are not passing their Senior High School. So, it is going to be very extremely difficult to educate. Secondly, I would like to evoke “deviant behavior” coming out from the mouth of Mr. Andy F. Noya is inappropriate since he has 15 experiences in journalistic and is able to lead several talk shows for 5 years in Metro TV in Indonesia, one of the prestigious news television channel in Indonesia, for the same talk show. Deviant is defined as abnormal which renders to marginalization of existence in the societies to me. For me, being a host, mainly with a several years in media industry as his background, need to be clever and intelligent in showing the words that reflect the intention, without any interest to readdress the bad side of being something – in this case : being gay. This is shown in one of his word toward Mr. Jupiter. Thirdly, I am really concerned with the quality of human resources in Indonesia. This is because Mrs. Elly Risman, viewed in public as female psychologist expert from a government institution to protect Indonesian children’s right, had no intention to state in her opinions that sex education is a major requirement in the country, which is associated to be a part of the curriculum starting from the Primary School. I remember seeing one of the billboards of Indonesia’s Family Planning Program in which written: Indonesia will suffer the population explosion – and this billboard that I have seen, is placed just on the gateway to the traditional market near my residence.
In the same point, I would like to decline the need of religion that has to be implanted in the mind of the youth. It is about how Indonesian people need to be educated in order to functionning their logical mind in distinguishing the benefits and the risks of any executed actions of what they will be. It is all about rationality I believe. If she is able to say that we have disparities of chances between our children and they, as parents, I think she is right. But, the most important in this country, for those who are elders in Indonesia, to reconsider that the transformation of mind set about sex education is required to bear in school for children in their earlier school year. This shall be made in an educational institution and formulated professionally in the education curriculum. Finally, this is for Mr. Andi F. Noya. Have you ever been, at any chance, felt how does it called to have “a deviant behavior” ? If kindness, along with the revelation of facts, and if you intend to, deliver some progress of human intelligence in Indonesia, haven’t you thought about these intelligent “deviant behavior” may feel insulted as your wording choice of “deviant behavior “? We feel in rationality. Every words concerned for us, just like you concern about the blog writing which reporting the expulsion of one of the Mrs. Elly Risman’s guests.
As a holder of national identity card of Indonesia, I feel that being gay in this country will not yet have any recognition from the society. Since, we, are still marginalized. If only I had a chance in the near future to see, that people in Indonesia reveals the truth of logic.
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Kamilia (user currently living in INDONESIA) posted for lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 04/12/2010 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation
On October 29, 2010 Institut Pelangi Perempuan (Indonesian Youth LBT Women Center) launched the Yogyakarta Principles comic in Jakarta with some art and cultural performances presented by Indonesian youth LGBT. Even lately the fundamentalist groups are so aggressive to attack some LGBT events in Indonesia, IPP decided to keep moving forward and promote the Yogyakarta Principles.

"Yogyakarta Principles is a set of international principles relating to sexual orientation and gender identity, intended to address documented evidence of abuse of rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people, and further of intersexuality requested by Louise Arbour according to the International Human Rights Law. The outline of the Principles was drawn at a meeting of International Commission of Jurists and human rights experts from around the world at Gadjah Mada University on Java from 6 to 9 November in 2006. "It contains 29 Principles adopted unanimously by the experts, along with recommendations to governments, regional intergovernmental institutions, civil society, and the UN itself".

The comic book is initiated by Institut Pelangi Perempuan to disseminate information on The Yogyakarta Principles amongst young queer community in Indonesia. This book is an effort to “translate� the principles into a more youth friendly language. The story in this comic book is inspired by the real life story of a number of young queer women in Indonesia. Comic book was chosen as the media to explain The Yogyakarta Principles with the hope that it would be easier to comprehend as compared to brochures or pocket books.
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so far, my experience as a gay, which can also be spelled transsex in Indonesia, still free, still a lot of pressure that I've got. I wish I could join you all to be able to fight for gay equality. thanks.
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David Wainwright (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian transgender bisexual readers on 07/04/2010 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation, marriage / civil unions, ilga asia conference, asia
they are still mobilising on facebook , many of my friends have reported their group for spreading hatred
also reported images and many gay people are now spreading the word about this group and posting pro gay stuff

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