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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in INDIA...
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Bhagya Rajesh (user currently living in INDIA) posted for bisexual readers on 28/12/2013 tagged with sexual orientation +5
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I come from India. To be precise from Kerala, in the extreme south. The community there is extremely literate and males and females enjoy equal status to some extent. Kerala is really different from the rest of India: developed but still holds on to old traditions. This has affected the life of all the people. Here parents choose your spouse. Sure you will have some say in it but essentially you meet a guy or girl via a broker or internet marriage sites(we have a lot of them in India), you talk to them maybe five or six times and a few months later you're married to them. The criteria for marriage here is education, wealth and beauty. If you have all three you are hot in the marriage market. Yes, here marriage is like a transaction, spoiled by the dowry system which still persists. The girl ends up in a house and has to live with her in-laws probably until her husband saves enough money to have a house of their own, which will probably take ten years.
Parents here say that if the children love them they will only marry the people their parents want them to marry. So if you are a straight guy or girl and falls in love with someone, you have to have some real courage because when your parents find out that you're in a relationship they will probably lock you up.
In a place like this being gay, bi or transgender is pretty hard. As if to add oil to the fire, the supreme court of India has recently withdrawn an order by a high court to dis-criminalize gay sex. They still categorize gay sex with that of sex with animals.
The religious leaders are saying that gays disturb the natural order of things and that if gay sex is dis-criminalized there would be no reproduction. Obviously they don't anything about gays.
This is the situation in India. I am a girl from there and I've always felt that gays, bisexuals and transgender are completely natural. The world around me thought differently but I didn’t care. I couldn’t actually pin-point my sexual orientation when I was 12 or 13. It was really confusing then; sometimes I was not at all aroused by both sexes, which led me to wonder whether I was asexual. But when I was 14 I had two brief relationships, one with a boy and one with a girl (this happens a lot here, without the parents ever knowing). This made me see that it felt right with both of them, I did a lot of trials with myself just to make sure and after a few months I was sure. I am bi and could not be more proud of it. But I knew keeping this to myself would be the safe thing to do, but I felt I had to do something. Not telling anyone would not be hiding in the closet here, as I’ve said even relationships between girls and boys are looked down upon.
I finally decided to tell my friends. I had three best friends and I told all three. Two of them were fine with it and they were in support of me but one. The one I had known for 6 years stopped talking to me and even threatened to complain against me. I tried my best to talk to her but she turned my back on me and hasn’t talked to me in a year. This was hard on me and I could never have been alright if it weren’t for my other two best friends. Now I am 16 and debating on how to tell my parents. So in a few months someone is going to drag me to psychologist to fix me. I wish my parents and the parents all around the world the best of luck because there is no way they are going to succeed.
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It's a taboo to be a lesbian in India. I cannot go anywhere without being stared at if I'm with my girlfriend and even though I try not to let other people bother me, how can I ignore almost over 100's of people staring at the same time, every second when Im outside the house.

I want to feel safe to hold my girls hand and kiss her in public without always having my alert button on, hoping noone kicks up a fuss.

My girlfriend is British and she came to visit me in February 2013. It was the best time of my life even though I was scared to be open in public, regardless of the fact that I'm out to my family. We want to get married as soon as we can but the law doesn't allow us to. It would be ideal if we could get married in India but India doesnt recognise homosexuality yet , and I can't go to UK to get married that easily.

We've been together close to 2 years now and all we do is love each other dearly, I want to be able to walk freely and proudly in my own country with my -to-be- wife wihtout being scared and looked at like I'm some sort of freak.
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ram (user currently living in INDIA) posted for gay readers in response to this story on 13/03/2013 tagged with sexual orientation
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Dear..Renee can ihave ur mail id...So that i can contact u..
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Ram (user currently living in INDIA) posted for gay readers on 13/03/2013 tagged with sexual orientation +5
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Could not reveal that I am GAY. No one understands what is gay, TG, L and CD etc..No awarness. Even doctors are not sensitive in this issue...So terrible to be here...Still i have to est my self am I gay or can Probably a Bi???

Is there any organisation in india (TamilNadu) so hat i can discuss my feel to a scientific person who knows about gay.
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latika (user currently living in INDIA) posted for lesbian bisexual readers in response to this story on 04/03/2013 tagged with sexual orientation
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read your story , was interesting would love to chat with you....if you would too then leave a sign or a message - la
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BREAKING FREE is a landmark film project that attempts to bring in change for the LGBT community in India by highlighting the pain & trauma as well as hope & happiness.

With more than 100 interviews across India of LGBTQH persons as well as activists, advocates, changemakers, etc; the film weaves poignant personal stories with the landmark events and huge changes in the community space.

Post production is now in progress and we NOW NEED YOUR SUPPORT MORE THAN EVER to complete the project.

WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT. Every small bit help. And there are fabulous incentives.

Please contribute to our project through below links. EVERY CONTRIBUTION IS VALUABLE and greatly helpful.

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Contributions can be ANONYMOUS too. There is also facility for paying by CASH OR CHEQUE through GharPay option. See right hand top on the site.

Get regular updates about the film at www.facebook.com/breakingfreeindia

WATCH TRAILER:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3uRelpzJIM
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Velvet Milestones:

2008- Conceptualization of Velvet to create a safe space for LBT community which was absent in kolkata specially. People needed a friendly environment with privacy and security where they can discuss their day to day life and ask for help if needed.
2009- Velvet Facebook group launched. Base shifted to Delhi. More than 300 members joined. Regular nteraction, discussion and exchange of ideas started actively on facebook.
2009- Took part in Delhi Queer Pride 2009
Organized community based programs
Active participation in queer scenario of Delhi
2010- Took part in Delhi Queer pride 2010
2011- Networked with Mumbai queer community actively
Back to kolkata to focus dedicatedly on VELVET along with Alka Kedwal
Actively participated in KOLKATA RAINBOW PRIDE FESTIVAL 2011
Introduced LBT participation in Kolkata Pride walk 2011, 17th july for the
first time.
Velvet Became support group for LGBT
Velvet became recognized by ILGA
Started personalized counseling for LBT community
Started close interaction with Sangini to have them as Mentor to Velvet
Sonali and Alka came out in FEMINA ANNIVERSARY ISSUE 14th October
2011 as lesbian couple
Took part in IBN7 Zindegi Live talk show as Lesbian couple- to be aired on
November 2011
More than a dozen individual ongoing cases handled and still getting requests
everyday.
Creating Network between LGBT community in Kolkata to fight loneliness
among queer population
FUTURE PLANS:
To register Velvet as a trust by January 2012.
To start mainstream activities to build and spread awareness and eliminate Homophobia
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Srishti the first LGBT friends circle of Madurai (user currently living in INDIA) posted for gay lesbian bisexual straight readers on 17/10/2011 tagged with teaching lgbt rights in schools, health, hiv/aids , gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation, religion +4
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Madurai throbs with more than 3700 gays &
we the Srishti first Gay friendly LGBT circle of Madurai is here for gathering all Bisexuals & gays in & around our city

Srishti works for creating awareness among all college students in madurai through NSS

we arrange progrms on Sexual orientation

our people counsel the uneducated community abt homosex

we conduct seminars with our officials from delhi, mumbai, chennai for teaching college students by conveying them homosex is not a sin or
it is not a disorder or gay are not transgenders
or its not unnatural task with human


we fight for LGBT rights in madurai & trying to make madurai as a comfortable place for Gays & Lesbians.

we works with TamilNadu Govt Aids awareness progs in madurai

planning to conduct the LGBT rainbow festival in madurai on 2012.

plz refer wikipedia about LGBT & Homosexuality in India

you can be a supporter for gathering all Homosexuals under one roof in madurai.

if u like to volunteer our progrms contact Sarva 9092282369

come & join with Srishti
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Subhankar Zac (user currently living in INDIA) posted for gay readers on 25/08/2011 tagged with hate crime and violence prevention, human rights, sexual orientation +4
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India is still a homophobic country. I am currently studying in a college in India, extremely homophobic people. The laws in India do not protect LGBT people from discrimination. I have lived in a homophobic region for 18 years, in which even related to a gay is a shameful thing for people. I tried to study my college years in Less homophobic places like, Spain, UK, NY, etc but couldn't go ONLY because my funds was low, although My application was accepted. I am still seeing hate comments and discrimination in all places in India. I am tired of fighting and M scared for my life in this country because the laws don't support us and I cant come out of the closet. I m sure my story wont may not be much attention and will be kept like a pile of other stories. But I m just screaming inside of me and just want to scream every time, when anyone tells a hate comment about gays. I just cant Live in India anymore. I have no money to study in a place where gays are not killed, nor can I stay here where there is too much homophobia. I just wanna leave India forever. or I will not survive for much longer.
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John (user currently living in UNITED KINGDOM) posted for gay lesbian readers in response to this story on 10/03/2011 tagged with sexual orientation
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A very poignant story about coming to terms with being gay/lesbian.
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shoni (user currently living in INDIA) posted for transgender readers on 06/07/2010 tagged with gender identity, human rights, sexual orientation +5
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I used to meditate on various religious texts and by that i faced a terrible curse, god has forbiddened my right to mate i am destined to be a transgender. I am osterized from the social line no job nothing .I have got two aged parent's to look open, i am a big fun amongst my relatives and friends . I can't take this any more, on the verge of committing suicide pls help me if you have gopt counsellors . Help me to get a job amongst your members or make me a part of your team
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