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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

Share your experiences in CHINA - Let others know what it’s like to be LGBTI in your country! If an experience is meaningful for you, it will probably be meaningful for someone else. On whatever topic, whether good or bad, your story is how the world knows about your country and LGBTI life. By selecting tags that mark the topic your story, others can learn from your experience.
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in CHINA...
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Summer (user currently living in CHINA) posted for lesbian readers on 31/05/2012 tagged with gender identity, laws and leadership +20
I'm a 25 years old lesbian living in China mainland. Now I'm a volunteer in a local lesbian NGO. I hope I can marry a partner in my own country.

I was 17 when the first time I kissed a girl. We had a one year relationship but I ended it as I thought being gay is immoral. I want to be staight, be "normal",as what mainstream said. So I had a three months relationship with a boy but ended in nothing. For the following three years, I had been sigle, lonely, and so desperate. I dare not to face my "immoral" sexual orientation until I found myself fall in love again with a girl. Sadly, she is staight.

My ex-partner left me and now has a relationship with a boy. The day we broke up, she tole me her life would be normal: she will date men, get married, have children, be mom, be grandma.

Many Chinese lesbians are forced by parents or social pressure to marry guys. Chinese women are taught to be obedient. It's like a shame for women not getting married with men.

I accept myself being lesbian as I want to be at least honest to my true self. No matter how hard my life would be, I will never marry guys as I have only one chance to live a life I really want.
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(user currently living in CHINA) posted for lesbian readers on 24/03/2010 tagged with at the work place +15
i've been in a relationship with my gf for more than a year. she went to Syd this Feb and we're suffering a lot lately. in my country, China, there's no law to protect or against us. u don't get legally punished for being gay, what punishes u is the pressure from ur family and the social mainstream. we're a heterosexual society like the rest of the world. the law doesn't hurt u or even blame u, but the family which makes u who u r can be very harsh on u if u r gay. my gf and i are not planning to come out to our families cuz we don't wanna break their hearts, but staying in the closet(sort of) has crushed ur dreams of building a normal family. too much pressure. it's just too much. lately, we've been considering where our love should go. we don't wanna give up on each other cuz what we've experienced is true love. we can't even stand the idea of breaking up but the social reality is crunching us. she cries every time when she calls and there's nothing i can do. i start to hate this society for not respecting diversity. in China, we have an old saying which goes like, don't do to others what u don't want others to do to u. but it's not true. the society is alway judging and telling ppl what's right. being gay is not right, it says. the law won't punish u but i will punish u with ur family, it says.
i used to believe in God. but once i found i was gay, i stopped praying to Him, cuz the nature He gave me has made me a sinner.
it might take generations for the Chinese mainstream to accept gay couples or marriage. my generation has failed. hopefully the coming generations can get what we can't get.
if u wanna help me, plz contact me at annasuinana@gmail.com
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Germán (user currently living in URUGUAY) posted for gay lesbian readers in response to this story on 09/01/2010 tagged with human rights +10
I hope you one day could be able to express your feelings with freedom and pride; you don't deserve to punish yourself like that, leaving your love and hopes in silence.
I wish you the best luck in the world, hope your family will some day understand you, because family bonds are the most important ones.
Send you a big hug, and please, don't give up!
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(user currently living in CHINA) posted for lesbian readers on 09/01/2010 tagged with gender identity +10
When I gradutated from colleague, I met my first girl friend. We fell in love just as fast as the lighting. I implied to my parent about my relationship. But they didn't seems to accept it due to the traditional view in their mind. If I had came out, they would have been miserable. So I tried to be " straight". After a long time fright in my mind, I met a boy, but found it's unfaithful for him to be together, because I'm not able to love him. So we broke up. Recently, I made many friends. They are queers also. They are from northen China, and they told me that's not possible for parents to understand what is homosexualty. If they came out, they might have grabbed to accept the mental treatment. I felt it's a tragedy to be a lesbian, whereas I can't change it. I wish my parents will accept it someday and wish people won't discriminate against the queer some day.
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Vince (user currently living in CHINA) posted for gay readers on 15/01/2010 tagged with tourism, laws and leadership , marriage / civil unions, tourism +5
I lived now over a year in China. The following issues affected me:

Discrimination in housing
A few weeks having moved to a flat in Beijing, the landlord gave us notice to vacate the flat. Among other reasons stated, one was that me and my husband were seen giving each other a kiss on the CCTV camera for the building's lift. Neighbours would have complained about that.
There is no legal law to protect from this discrimination. While looking for a new place to live, we we about to rent a flat but when the landlady came to know we were going to share a double bed, she refused us suddenly without reasons. For our current tenancy we pretend to sleep in different bedrooms.

Discrimination in immigration
I am a student at a university in Beijing and therefore am granted a student visa with a full residence permit for one year. My husband came with me to China to find a job but had issues getting a visa. People with student visas are allowed to have their spouses registered as accompanying family members. We tried to apply for such a visa for him and issued the marriage certificate from the UK but were refused on the grounds that same-sex marriages are not recognized.
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posted for readers on 21/12/2009 tagged with entertainment +5
China has opened its first government-funded gay bar! See http://www.cdeclips.com/en/nation/fullstory.html?id=36003
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posted for gay transgender intersex straight readers on 10/10/2010 +5
I don't know if I was a gay or I am a gay, I am so confused about my sex Orientation, So I want people help me to know if I am a gay. I don't know, I watch gay movies and I feel so excited when I meet a man who is cool. Who is as my age and who is in a suit.
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(user currently living in CHINA) posted for lesbian readers on 30/03/2013 tagged with religion +5
in my society i can not tell anyone i am a lesbian, because i live in a society where the islam control people`s mind . i`m afraid not be accapted by the people,
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Michelle (user currently living in NETHERLANDS) posted for readers in response to this story on 21/05/2012 +0
Hello Damon,

I am a communication student from Holland and I am coming to Beijing from 1-16 june. I am interested in the gay community and in your story, is it possible that we can meet to talk about it?
If so I can give you my emailadress.
Greets Michelle
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