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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in CHINA...
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damon (user currently living in CHINA) posted for gay readers on 13/04/2012 tagged with health
Dear ILGA staff,

I am really glad and excited to write you this email, and really thanks for your doing for LGBT issues. I believe gay, lesbian,transgender,bisexual must live a happy life under your effort and help for them.

I am damon, 28 years old, from China, i am a gay too. There are many many things i wanna talk with you, but here i will briefly explain my situation.

I was born in a farmer family located in Eastern China, i was brought up by my grandmother, i lived in my mom's mother and stayed with my uncle until i was taken back in 7 years old to go to school.

1. During the elementary school, i liked to play with girls , and do games with girls, i was chosen to perform with the female classmates on a public stage during International Children's Day, i don't like my male classmate's rude behaviors and therefore i dont like to play and stay with them, they call me " false lady", its quite a insulting name for me.

2. During the middle school, i began to play with boys to show that i am not a faggoty, but i still don't like playing basketball, football, these violent games. During this period, i found that i like to stare at boys and teachers of good looking, and i also imagined their sexual organs sometimes. At the same time, when i was in grade 3, i had oral sex with a male classmate when we lived in the dorm, i was excited when doing it. When i was in grade 4, i slept with another classmate and kissed each other on the bed ,no oral sex.

3. When i entered the senior high school, there was no special happened during that period, but i still paid attention to good looking boys.

4. During my 1st grade of university, i began to touch the internet, and once time i roaming on the internet and found a website of gay and then i realized i liked man not girls and since then i began to get more information about gay. I have good relationships with my female classmate on campus, i came out to 3 of my female friends, but i am not feminine.

5. Now i have worked for 3 years, and you may dont know in China, the biggest thing for a people is get married and have a baby, if you dont get married after 30 years old, people around you and your family will be curious the reason why you still be single. Although china has opened to the word for more than 30 years old, but Chinese people are still very conservative , even if parents have accepted higher education, they still may not understand why you are a gay, they may think you are sick and will take you to hospital for consultation. If people know you are a gay, you will be labeled by abnormal,ill, and people may keep away from you. In China, there are 98% gay choose to marry a girl and live as a normal man, but in their deep heart, they can not accept his wife and his life , but there is no other way.

6. I am 28 years old now, every time i go back home, relatives will ask me why i still don't take my girlfriend home , i always tell them i am still young and i should focus on my career, my parents now are worried about me and under pressure, my contemporary all had babies now. I ever thought whether i should come out to my parents, but they have no much education and i am afraid they cant understand what is gay and this will lead them to bigger sorrow.....

The aim i write you this email is i know you must experienced many this kind issues like me. Hope i can get some suggestions from you.

Wish you happy every day.

Thank you very much...

Yours sincerely


13,April,2012 in China
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