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The Your Stories section is all about you! Please take a minute to tell visitors of the ILGA website about what LGBTI life is like in reality. Please submit your personal story and share your experience!

YOUR STORIES
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Readers Experiences

This is what people are saying about life for LGBTI people in CHINA...
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xie posted for gay readers on 27/06/2013 tagged with sexual orientation
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Hey, im a gay. But my sister IS pushing me to marry with a woman< MY SISTER knOw i AM a gay>. yesterday she askED my birthdate and she gave my Info for that girl. im angry, but i cant say anything, i cant yell at her. she know i would be angry, so she didnt call me for that, but she called my brother's wife and asked her to call me and pushed me to have a meeting with that girl. I was angry when i got my sister-in-law's call, but i cant say no to her since she was kind for me and she explained many for me,she said all my family did were for me. But i dont like that life at all,also it will hurt the girl we are going to meet.

Im an 36-year old man. how can they do that to me? but the problem is that i cant say no to them since they are my family. and i cant go home now coz they know im a gay. i just feel tatolly embarrassed if we meet.But i have to face this coz i need to visit my mom who live with my brothers.

Now i really want to get a place to hide, i dont want to hurt them ,but idont want to see them either but my mom.

im really scared. i worry about that they are positioning me

IM VERY SERIOUS TO GET A MAN TO MARRY,BUT NOT A WOMAN.
SO WHAT CAN I DO? I NEED YOUR HELP thank u
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Dave (user currently living in UNITED STATES) posted for gay readers on 26/07/2012 tagged with tourism
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I am travelling to China for the first time and wonder if anyone has visa application advice.

I'm married, we've been together for 27 years, but got married in Massachusetts only when it became available.

I'm inclined to put down that I'm single, and not list my husband as major family member, but that is not true. I do not like being dishonest, and I also fear if much research is done my marriage will be easily discovered.

I recently got a 5 year visa from Saudia Arabia and in the application I put down married, since they did not ask for spousal name or family members. I also had to pick a religion as I'm not religious.

has anyone had experience with this? Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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damon (user currently living in CHINA) posted for gay readers on 13/04/2012 tagged with health
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Dear ILGA staff,

I am really glad and excited to write you this email, and really thanks for your doing for LGBT issues. I believe gay, lesbian,transgender,bisexual must live a happy life under your effort and help for them.

I am damon, 28 years old, from China, i am a gay too. There are many many things i wanna talk with you, but here i will briefly explain my situation.

I was born in a farmer family located in Eastern China, i was brought up by my grandmother, i lived in my mom's mother and stayed with my uncle until i was taken back in 7 years old to go to school.

1. During the elementary school, i liked to play with girls , and do games with girls, i was chosen to perform with the female classmates on a public stage during International Children's Day, i don't like my male classmate's rude behaviors and therefore i dont like to play and stay with them, they call me " false lady", its quite a insulting name for me.

2. During the middle school, i began to play with boys to show that i am not a faggoty, but i still don't like playing basketball, football, these violent games. During this period, i found that i like to stare at boys and teachers of good looking, and i also imagined their sexual organs sometimes. At the same time, when i was in grade 3, i had oral sex with a male classmate when we lived in the dorm, i was excited when doing it. When i was in grade 4, i slept with another classmate and kissed each other on the bed ,no oral sex.

3. When i entered the senior high school, there was no special happened during that period, but i still paid attention to good looking boys.

4. During my 1st grade of university, i began to touch the internet, and once time i roaming on the internet and found a website of gay and then i realized i liked man not girls and since then i began to get more information about gay. I have good relationships with my female classmate on campus, i came out to 3 of my female friends, but i am not feminine.

5. Now i have worked for 3 years, and you may dont know in China, the biggest thing for a people is get married and have a baby, if you dont get married after 30 years old, people around you and your family will be curious the reason why you still be single. Although china has opened to the word for more than 30 years old, but Chinese people are still very conservative , even if parents have accepted higher education, they still may not understand why you are a gay, they may think you are sick and will take you to hospital for consultation. If people know you are a gay, you will be labeled by abnormal,ill, and people may keep away from you. In China, there are 98% gay choose to marry a girl and live as a normal man, but in their deep heart, they can not accept his wife and his life , but there is no other way.

6. I am 28 years old now, every time i go back home, relatives will ask me why i still don't take my girlfriend home , i always tell them i am still young and i should focus on my career, my parents now are worried about me and under pressure, my contemporary all had babies now. I ever thought whether i should come out to my parents, but they have no much education and i am afraid they cant understand what is gay and this will lead them to bigger sorrow.....

The aim i write you this email is i know you must experienced many this kind issues like me. Hope i can get some suggestions from you.

Wish you happy every day.

Thank you very much...

Yours sincerely

Damon

13,April,2012 in China
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Kenneth (user currently living in CHINA) posted for gay readers on 10/04/2011
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Full details to the gay bar raid are here:
http://shanghaiist.com/2011/04/03/police_raid_new_gay_bar_on_the_bund.php
http://shanghaiist.com/2011/04/05/huangpu-police-gay-bar-raid.php
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posted for gay transgender intersex straight readers on 10/10/2010 +5
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I don't know if I was a gay or I am a gay, I am so confused about my sex Orientation, So I want people help me to know if I am a gay. I don't know, I watch gay movies and I feel so excited when I meet a man who is cool. Who is as my age and who is in a suit.
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Vince (user currently living in CHINA) posted for gay readers on 15/01/2010 tagged with tourism, laws and leadership , marriage / civil unions, tourism +5
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I lived now over a year in China. The following issues affected me:

Discrimination in housing
A few weeks having moved to a flat in Beijing, the landlord gave us notice to vacate the flat. Among other reasons stated, one was that me and my husband were seen giving each other a kiss on the CCTV camera for the building's lift. Neighbours would have complained about that.
There is no legal law to protect from this discrimination. While looking for a new place to live, we we about to rent a flat but when the landlady came to know we were going to share a double bed, she refused us suddenly without reasons. For our current tenancy we pretend to sleep in different bedrooms.

Discrimination in immigration
I am a student at a university in Beijing and therefore am granted a student visa with a full residence permit for one year. My husband came with me to China to find a job but had issues getting a visa. People with student visas are allowed to have their spouses registered as accompanying family members. We tried to apply for such a visa for him and issued the marriage certificate from the UK but were refused on the grounds that same-sex marriages are not recognized.
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Germán (user currently living in URUGUAY) posted for gay lesbian readers in response to this story on 09/01/2010 tagged with human rights +10
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I hope you one day could be able to express your feelings with freedom and pride; you don't deserve to punish yourself like that, leaving your love and hopes in silence.
I wish you the best luck in the world, hope your family will some day understand you, because family bonds are the most important ones.
Send you a big hug, and please, don't give up!
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